[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony frowned at Loki when he turned to fuss at him, instantly tensing. “If he wants to stay as a wolf, let him. Sure, he may not be able to do everything, but there is a lot he can do still. It’s not like he isn’t loved and looked after.” Tony snapped. “He’s happy as a puppy, he isn’t struggling with anything, he isn’t lacking, everyone loves him. What’s the big deal?’  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"The big deal is that he won't stay that size Tony, hes going to grow. You saw the size he was when we found him and I am betting that wasn't his full size because Odin was dampening him." Loki snapped back. It was true his son was loved and looked after. "What happens when he gets bigger and wants to go exploring off the property. What are you going to tell him when others think hes dangerous because of his size. Are you going to keep him here and make this place another cage for him?" Loki growled. He would not have his son caged once more.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“How dare you?! You think I would ever cage him? Do you honestly think I don’t have plans if that happens. There are other places we could take him to explore. Charles’ school, some national parks. I have the resources.” He shot back. “And how do you know he wouldn’t be just as happy learning to control his size rather than turning human? Essentially the same magic right?”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki glared when Loki shot back at him that he had plans for Fenrir if such a thing happened. "No it is not the same magic! Shifting to another form you can put the same mass into it. To change ones size is much harder to learn. And when you were going to discuss these other options with me hes my son did you not think I should know about this. Besides that what is wrong with him taking a mortal form, it will just take some getting used to. If I had been able to raise him from the start he would have learned this much sooner and it would not be so strange to him." Loki growled back. He was annoyed that Tony had made such plans without him. It also irritated him that Odin had helped caused all these problems by taking Fenrir from him. But it also concerned him that Tony wanted Fenrir to be able to stay as a wolf. "Can you say you would want the same for our child. If they are in a different form and they don't wish to look like either of us ever. Can you say that you would want the same thing?" Loki questioned.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony snorted. “You’re one to talk about who should know what.” He muttered. “Besides, you don’t know that he would have learned any sooner, you don’t know if he would more comfortable with it. For all you know, he is meant to be and remain a wolf.’ When Loki tried to turn the situation to their child, Tony fell silent for a moment. He was still unsure about all of that. He had no idea how to raise a kid, let alone his own. “If they never wanted to look human, then they never would have to. I down ******** care. It’s what they want. Besides, it's not like you don't choose what you want to look like and stick with it.”  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki glared when Tony told him he was one to talk about what he should know. "You are right I don't know because I was never given the chance to know, but his siblings learned and adjusted just fine. Even if they prefer their true forms they see the benefits of other forms.” Loki argued. Loki watched as Tony paused when he mentioned their child and loki felt his stomach drop. When the man finally spoke Loki didn't feel any better and the man's last words were like a physical blow. "You think I should look like this?" Loki questioned allowing his illusions to drop. "Fine here it is, I suppose I should just walk through the downtown area of new York now and see how long it takes for someone to call the authorities. How quickly would they shoot me without asking questions?" Loki questioned tears in his eyes. " let's find out.” he continued walking towards the door.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony wasn’t really surprised when Loki dropped his illusions, but the words that he spoke did startle him a little. Glaring as Loki walked away, Tony shook his head. “Ugh…..you know that’s not what I meant.” He snapped, though he didn’t stop Loki. He knew the god wouldn’t endanger himself and the baby, and this argument was getting them nowhere, so better to just walk away for now. They’d never really argued with each other. Gotten mad at each other, yes, but never argued, so they didn’t know how to handle each other. Loki always falling back on his experiences as if they applied to everything, which annoyed Tony to no ends, and Tony’s tendencies for low blows which Loki was a tad to sensitive for, made a dangerous combination. Turning on his heel, he headed for the bar and another drink. He ended up with another full glass of alcohol, but before he could retreat to brood, he was pulled aside by Steve, who was currently talking with Fenrir, so the genius had to try and reign in his mood to focus on Fenrir.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't respond when Tony snapped that Loki knew that wasn't what the man meant. But Loki didn't know what Tony meant, how was he supposed to know when they couldn't even talk to each other calmly at that moment. One thing that Loki did notice was that Tony didn't even attempt to stop him and that only made the god's chest tighten more. Tony didn't care enough to stop him from hurting himself, maybe he could have dealt with that. But the fact that the man now knew he was carrying Tony's child and still didn't try to stop him spoke volumes to the god. There was no fixing this, Tony didn't want the child and Loki had no doubt that he might be asked to get rid of it by giving it away. That was something he was not willing to do.

As soon as Tony had poured his drink and left the room Loki made his way back through it and to their bedroom. He was quick to grab a bag and start throwing some things into it. Then he moved quickly to his study to grab some more things that he thought he would need. He knew he couldn't grab Fenrir at the moment but swore to come back for the pup. He knew Thor at least would protect his son and he didn't think the others would let anything happen to the boy but Loki could not stay. Slipping back into his 'normal' form he closed his eyes with a deep shuddering breath and disappeared from the mansion.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony ended up spending the rest of the day with Fenrir, staying with him until the pup tired out, turning back into a puppy and falling asleep. Tony was a little surprised when Loki didn’t show up to put Fenrir to bed, but Tony just figured he was still sulking. Tucking Fenrir in, Tony locked himself in his lab for the rest of the night. Working until he calmed a little and then using his technology and a little help from JARVIS to try and work through his thoughts and feelings. It was mid-morning before he reemerged, prepared to sit down with Loki and try to work things out. He was still freaked out and confused, but he figured that he could keep control of himself and knew enough for them to start dealing with the situation.

But he couldn’t find Loki.

Tony checked all of his normal spots before going to Bruce to see if the doctor knew anything. Bruce only told him that Loki hadn’t shown up for medicine. When Tony finally asked JARVIS, the AI informed him that Loki had disappeared he day before and instantly Tony’s stomach sunk. Loki actually had left……Why? Maybe he’d gone to cool off a bit? Questioning JARVIS a bit more, the more information he got, the worse the situation appeared. Finally Tony just found himself sitting in a seat, motionless and numb. There wasn’t even enough in his mind to feel pain or anger or anything, he couldn’t wrap his head around any of this. He didn’t even care about anyone else around him. It wasn’t until Fenrir found his way into Tony’s lap that the genius took any interest in the world again, just hugging the pup close and petting him, Fenrir sensing that this wasn’t a good time to ask questions, so he just sat there.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki took off not knowing where he was going. At first he considered running back to the tower but he knew Tony would find him there all too easily and no doubt JARVIS would merely tell the man. So instead he teleported off to some place he had read about arriving in a flurry of activity and hot weather. In New York it had been cool to Loki but here he felt like it was boiling hot. He knew he couldn't stay there and shifted to somewhere else he thought was a cooler place.

Natasha was a bit suprised when she didn't see either Loki or Tony for dinner. Normally one of them came up to make sure Fenrir got fed. When she saw Bruce she found out that Loki had been released from the infirmary. Asking JARVIS she found out Tony had retreated into the lab, she thought it the best knowing the genius could think down there. It was only in the morning when she grew concerned as she saw Tony. Any attempt to talk to him brought now response and she ended up calling Bruce up. Still there was no response from the genius until Fenrir crawled into his lap. All the Avengers sat close they had asked JARVIS and found out Loki was gone but no one had told Fenrir, they sat and waited for something from Tony.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

It was a long time before Tony or Fenrir spoke, but eventually Fenrir caught Tony’s eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly. Tony didn’t reply for a moment. “Your mother and I got in a fight…..he’s not here anymore.” He finally murmured, so soft that Fenrir barely heard. “Was it because I changed? Mother left because of me?” Fenrir asked quickly. “No.” Tony replied simply. “So mother left because of you?” the pup continued. “Yes” As Tony said that, Fenrir stiffened and after a moment climbed from Tony’s lap and left the room. As the pup left, Tony finally crumbled, shoulders hunching, curling in on himself as his head lowered. In less than 24 hours everything he’d thought he’d finally gotten, a lover, a chance at a family, even an almost stepson, it all seemed to disappear. He didn’t stay there long though, tired of the eyes staring at him, the whispers of his name. He stumbled his way to his lab, ignoring everyone else and just locking himself away, not letting anyone in. There he just sat, at first watching the last bits of security footage of Loki, then just staring at nothing, too wrapped up in his sudden grief.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Clint watched as Tony finally spoke to Fenrir and the only reason Clint understood was because he had learned to read lips at an early age. Tony was too quiet for anyone else but Fenrir to hear. When the pup slunk off Clint sent Thor and Jane after him to comfort. He wanted to hit Tony for not comforting the child or promising to find loki. When Tony started to move he yelled to him to no avail. So Clint determined this called for desperate measures. He had Jarvis call both Rhodey and Pepper proclaiming that they needed to get there asap. And when they arrived Clint explained the situation and led them down to the locked down lab knowing Pepper had an override code. He would get in there and knock some sense into tony if he had to.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony barely moved when the door to his lab slid open, head resting in his hands. “Just leave me alone.” He mumbled. He wanted to be alone in his misery, after all, it seemed like that was his curse. Rhodey was the first to cross the lab. He knew it was bad if Tony wasn’t doing something. The man had never really been still in his life. Slowly pulling a stool up beside Tony, Rhodey sat, trying to engage Tony, but the genius didn’t speak, he didn’t even move until Pepper came over and that was only to flinch away from her effort at a comforting touch. He just curled in tighter around himself, fingers clutching desperately at his hair. He had no idea what he could do, what he should do. Everything was screwed up. Loki didn’t want him, Fenrir would never forgive him, and Tony was left completely broken.  

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Clint followed Rhodey and Pepper into the lab after she had used her override code. When Tony demanded to be left alone Clint gave a soft growl. Tony didn't respond to Rhodey and flinched away from pepper, it just made Clint angry. He grabbed a small little stick from a counter something he had seen Tony trying to provoke the hulk with when bruce had first arrived and jabbed it into Tony's side just hard enough to hurt a bit. "You are an idiot, are you just gonna mope. I thought you were a genius. You can find him stupid. You guys have this freaking bond thing and all you wanna do is pout cause he ran off. Worse yet your letting his son think it was all your fault and now that he has no one." Clint growled.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony flinched away from the impromptu weapon, letting out an annoyed growl at Clint. Hearing Clint’s arguments, Tony gave a little snort. “You don’t know anything. Loki can even hide from Heimdall….if he doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be, and Loki hasn’t let me into his mind in weeks. I can’t find him unless he wants me to.” Tony snapped. Swatting the stick away, he shook his head, his momentary anger fading back into his grief. “And it was my fault. I argued with Loki, I overstepped my boundaries, and I wasn’t worth staying for.” He said slowly.