[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki wanted to scream within his mind when Tony seemed to patronize him again by stating that bad things happened, but good things happened too. Like gaining things back had made the pain he felt from losing certain things lessen. His kids he could understand some of, he got Fenrir back and was able to re-raise him, his other children however he had missed so much of their childhoods. Something he could not get back and then there was Asgard. What life did he have down on Midgard relying on Tony and the others, he couldn't do anything without them it seemed. He didn't even want to start on family because he was afraid it would just set his mind to spinning again thinking about what family he would have here. At Tony saying that he hadn't been taken Loki just conceded he gave up fighting the man. There was no winning this, he didn't see things getting easier but he would do what Tony wanted. If he wanted him to continue fighting for however long he deemed then fine. He sent his concession over the bond, but he didn't answer the question.

Kalani watched as Fenrir was returned back to the bed and curled up next to Loki. "hi." she greeted the wolf softly before turning back to Bruce. "My grandmother might understand it but I don't know how strong their bond is anymore." Kalani stated shifting a bit uneasily. She had seen Loki's mark when he had arrived at her house and it had been much more apparent then. Now it seemed as if it was leaving his skin slowly, like the more Loki doubted that he was wanted the more it broke down. "Loki said he used to be able to know where Mr. Stark was. He also talked about how he blocked the bond, at first to keep Mr. Stark from finding things out and then he said it was to keep him from the nightmares that plagued him. He said someone was attacking him when he slept which was what causes most of the nightmares, now it happens during the day too, when hes not asleep." she continued.

Thor nodded to his friend when Bruce told him not to be long. And as soon as he was out of the infirmary he was quick to make his way outside. Once there he was off to Asgard and flying towards his mother to deliver the news.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony could feel some of Loki’s thought process and couldn’t help the spike of frustration that came with Loki just agreeing to get him to leave him alone. The frustration was quickly followed with a bone-deep exhaustion. “You know…..just giving up, just agreeing so we don’t have to talk anymore and walking away is part of what got us into this situation.” He pointed out quietly. Perhaps that’s what all of this was. They were both so tired of fighting that fighting for what they had was too much. “Off course talking is hard when I can’t understand you.” He tried for a joke, but being linked like they were right now showed how little humor he could muster at the moment. “God I’m tired…..and you need to comfort Fenrir and Kalani…..you really scared them.” He finally said as he began pulling from Loki’s mind, putting distance between them again. Only then did Tony actually move, shaking his head as he became aware of his surroundings again. He looked completely and utterly drained at that point. The effort of staying in Loki’s mind and dealing with the chaos there a little too much. In all honesty, he looked like he was on the verge of being sick.

When Kalani voiced doubts over the bond’s strength, Bruce frowned, but gave a small shrug. “They’re having problems, but they’ll get through it. If they can’t manage to figure things out, then the rest of us might as well give up on love. I’ve never seen a pair that fit so well and seemed to have fate always intervene in their favor.” Bruce said slowly. Of course the fact that they were meant for each other was also the problem. They needed someone they related to, someone like them, and at times they were too alike. Listening to Kalani, Bruce couldn’t hide his flinch. ‘That would be Thanos. He’s some sort of ancient, evil being that Loki got on the wrong side of. He got some sort of hold on Loki, makes it so he can get into Loki’s head.” The doctor explained. “Sometimes he causes a lot of problems, sometimes he doesn’t seem to bother Loki at all.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki couldn't even begin to muster the agitation he should have at Tony's comment about giving up and walking away. He should have pushed forward the memory of Tony just walking away after his threats but instead he remained placid. At the mention of not being able to understand him Loki forced an apology and irritation at himself through the bond along with the memory of when he had cut off his magic with the jammer. Of course then he had still had some bits of magic directed towards some of his abilities like speech, now he had none. An affirmative passed through the bond as Tony pulled away along with a soft sense of longing. It took Loki to find his way to full consciousness than it did Tony and when he did all he wanted to do was collapse into sleep. He held on to consciousness however to soothe Fenrir with soft pets and to give Kalani a soft nod when he caught her gaze. After that he lay down curling around Fenrir and soon found himself asleep again.

Kalani gave a little shrug of indecision when Bruce proclaimed that Loki and Tony were merely having problems and that they would get through it. "Fate doesn't really seem in their favor at the moment." she grumbled. Hearing about Thanos Kalani frowned. An ancient being was what was causing Loki the nightmares, both asleep and waking. "You mean he can just get into his head whenever it pleases him? He's been in Loki's head almost everyday for a month and a half. There hasn't been a day that Loki hasn't woken up sick or screaming. He won't say what he dreamed or what happens during the day but hes always seemed worse afterwards like his head isn't right." Kalani growled. Now that she knew what was causing it, she wanted to do something about it but she didn't know how.

 

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce shook his head slightly. “No it doesn’t, but we’ll see. You did come here to get us, bringing Loki back, possibly even saving his life and the life of the baby-er, babies, so who knows.” Bruce said quietly. When he heard Kalani talk about Thanos, Bruce nodded. He can get in almost any time. Loki was able to make it difficult for a while, and Tony has been able to fend Thanos off from time to time, but they’re both too weak for that right now. Yet another reason to try and get them both healthy again.” Bruce said.

Tony slumped against his pillows as he watched Loki slowly come back and zone in on Fenrir. The pup was more than pleased to see his mother moving and not acting strangely again. He nuzzled close, letting Loki pet him and as his mother laid down, the pup curled up tightly against his chest, head tucked under Loki’s chin. Smiling faintly at the sight, Tony ran a hand over his face, trying to summon up any reserve of strength and energy he had left, even though he really didn’t have any.

It was then that Bruce went back to being a doctor. “When was the last time you ate Tony? Wait, don’t answer that, I’m sure I’ll just get angry.” Bruce said, slowly standing and walking over to Tony. “We’ll take you upstairs to get you a decent meal, and then you need to get back to sleep.” He said, helping Tony out of the bed and letting the genius lean some of his weight on him as they left the infirmary for food.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Kalani hummed in acknowledgement when Bruce agreed with her but then said that she had brought Loki back and possibly saving Loki and his children's lives. "You think by being together again and by making Loki healthy he'll be able to fend him off and stop the nightmares." Kalani questioned. She desperately wanted Loki to heal, to be okay. For the nightmares to stop. "I'll keep watch." Kalani stated when bruce said that he was gonna take Tony to get something to eat.

It was almost an hour after Thor had left that he had returned. An older woman stood with him along with Skadi. Skadi looked concerned, the woman looked almost too serious and Thor looked resolved and tired.  

[MDaylus]

MDaylus

Alikia Tsuki

“It’s a possibility.” Bruce replied. It was all he could say to Kalani on the matter. He didn’t understand it all himself, and there was still a lot that was left up to Loki and Tony. Nodding when Kalani said she’d watch over Loki, the doctor carefully led Tony out of the infirmary. He only got Tony to eat a little, but it was enough to put Bruce’s mind at ease. Then Tony went off to crash on the couch in his lab. It was where he ended up sleeping when he actually laid down to try and sleep. Despite his reluctance to sleep the genius did manage to drift off into a light sleep in his lab. Bruce didn’t really return to the infirmary, needing a break from tending to his friends, but when Thor returned, he was quick to meet the group. “What’s going on?” he asked slowly, looking over the newcomers. He knew Skadi and knew the man wouldn’t hurt Loki, but he had no idea who this woman was.

 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Have no fear my friend. You remember Skadi, Loki's childhood guard, he is now my mother's personal guard. He is here to make sure she is protected when she arrives. This here is Eir, she is the eldest healer on Asgard and the only one Loki will cowl to.” Thor stated introducing the two with him. Thor was hoping Eir would be able to see anything wrong with Loki besides the physical and help the younger god.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce nodded to Skadi and shook Eir’s hand. “He’s been sleeping for an hour or so now.” He explained, slowly leading them through the mansion. “I was speaking with Kalani and she says that nearly every day and every night for over a month he’s had nightmares…..likely Thanos has been in his mind most if not all of those times. Between that and his lack of magic and lack of nutrition recently, he’s in a very fragile state.” He explained. Slipping into the infirmary silently, he checked on the IV, going ahead and removing it for the time being in case it was in EIr’s way, and whispering an explanation to Kalani and Fenrir. Of course Fenrir had vague memories of Eir and his tail was already wagging slightly as he looked at the woman, knowing she could be trusted.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Eir shook Bruce's hand quote accosted to Midgard's way of doing things. The woman did not say anything as Bruce spoke explaining what he knew. A frown rook over hearing that someone had invaded Loki's mind regularly. "That could be of great concern, the young prince is quite guarded with his mind." Eir grumbled. She was a bit glad at the mention of a lack of magic, Loki could be quite volatile when dealing g with healers. while she had dealt with Loki as a child she knew his magic was stronger. She moved forward as bruce conversed with Kalani a slight smile greeted Fenrir. She moved her hand over Loki's stomach humming with what she found. "The children are quite strong and very well protected." she spoke aloud. Then moving her hands towards Loki's head to frown returned darker this time. "His mind is in shambles however, it is not a good thing he is quite susceptible to attack now. It also seems as though he is in quite a dark place in his mind." Eir grumbled angrily. "I will have to inform the queen of this as soon as she arrives." she continued pulling away and turning to Bruce. "What sort of mind healers have you on midgard?" she questioned.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce watched Eir carefully as she looked Loki over. If Thor, Frigga, Skadi, and Fenrir trusted her, he knew she couldn’t be too bad. But he also knew how cautious Loki tended to be. Since he was asleep at the moment, Bruce would watch out for him instead. He smiled faintly at the news that the babies were alright. That was one less concern on the list for the moment. Frowning at Eir’s words, Bruce could only imagine what the state of Loki’s mind was. Looking to her when questioned, Bruce gave a small shrug. “We don’t really have any, not like what you’re wanting at least. The closest we have to mind healing is psychiatry and therapy. Therapy and counseling is all about talking out problems with someone, and psychiatry and psychology gives medicine should it be decided there is an illness of the mind. Though it doesn’t really heal anything, just makes it manageable.” Bruce admitted. “We have no one with magic that can reach into a person’s mind or anything of the like.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Eir frowned when Bruce said that they didn't have anything like what she was looking for. She did not know what psychiatry was, but none of the explanations sounded helpful for Loki in the least. "I am not sure this will be manageable with the medication, there is much damage done to his mind." Eir frowned again. "A mind healer does not always reach into one's mind. Sometimes all that one needs is someone to help sort their thoughts." Eir shook her head. The magic of course would help do it faster but it was not necessary. "There are a few mind healers in Asgard I can spare but I know not one of them that Loki would allow close. I am the only healer besides his mother that he has ever let close to him to heal anything and I can not stay here." Eir grumbled again. She did not know how to help the young prince and he did need help. If the man had not been banished from Asgard she would take him back with her, but that was not that option.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

“If a mind healer doesn’t reach into one’s mind, can the skill be taught to a human?” Bruce asked slowly. “Perhaps if you had a healer come and instruct one of us, Loki would allow us to help to help.” He knew it was a bit of a stretch, and more complicated than it needed to be, but Loki needed help. There were plenty of people in the mansion who would be willing to try, and if it was useful, it might be a good skill to have around. There always seemed to be someone in the mansion that could use help of this nature. “I know it may not be as effective as having the mind healer themselves help Loki, but something has to be better than nothing.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"I am uncertain." Eir grumbled softly. She had never attempted to teach Midgardians anything. She supposed it might work, she would have to be careful about selecting her healer to come and help. There were certain ones Loki would not want around at all. "I shall see what I can do." Eir promised. "I do not know if it will work but I will send someone to try and help you." she continued. She turned back to Loki running her hands over him once more. "His magic looks quite low, only small dreggs recently gained, his all speech is gone is it not? It looks like his children are taking all the magic he has to fuel building their own and themselves. They are missing the other half that would alleviate the strain on Loki, their father." Eir hummed.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce nodded, not pushing the topic anymore. He knew she knew more about this than he did, and she had to think it over. Listening to Loki, Bruce nodded. “We know that he’s struggling to keep up his up. Since Loki has only returned to us today, we haven’t been able try and help him balance out the magic. Tony, the father, has only a limited amount of magic and is fairly unhealthy himself. But all of his magic has been taken from him each time he’s touched Loki so far.” Bruce responded quickly. He’d assumed Loki had taken the magic, but he supposed it made sense for the babies to be the cause of it.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"I can sense the others magic within him, it is really the only reason he is not in a magic sleep now. However he needs much more and if the man who is the father is being drained of magic as well when he is not well himself then it needs to stop. I recommend that they keep from touching, I will help see about transferring some magic to him from other sources to allow both men some time to recover." Eir stated. She gave another hum her hands over Loki's leg. Some magic flared in her hands and then the wound. It didn't help much but it did take most of the infection out of the wound. "That should help some, his mother is more familar with his body and physiology, she would better be able to do more." Eir continued stepping back once more.