[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki shook his head when Fenrir stated that maybe Kalani and her grandmother had thought he was a hero. *I never saved them directly just fended off beasts from their home.* Loki stated. At the question of whether or not he had liked it in Alaska he shtugged. It hadn't been a bad place, cooler than the others he had run to but it hadn't been the mansion or the tower. *It wasn't that, that made me sick my son. It was my draining magic, being away from Tony and having no appetite.* Loki explained. He looked at his son trying to figure out what was on the boys mind. Slowly Loki stopped the chair from moving and then turned it to face Fenrir. *Does something worry you?* Loki questioned.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Fenrir nodded slightly as Loki explained his sickness and the fact that Alaska hadn’t been overly special to him. He frowned as Loki stopped the chair, trying to keep pushing it but being unsuccessful. When Loki questioned him, Fenrir ducked his head, not wanting to talk, but knowing that Loki would make him answer. “You just spent all that time with Kalani……and she really, really likes you mother……” he said, not sure how to say what was on his mind. “Do you like her more now?” he finally asked.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Guilt and sadness flooded through loki when Fenrir ducked his head at his question. He knew that he had caused more damage than he had thought to his son then. He had made his son doubt whom he would choose of it came down to a choice between him and someone else. *Fenrir my beautiful son. She is a friend and I do like her. She worked hard for me to even begin talking to her. But if I was ever forced to choose between her and you there would never be a contest. I love you my son and I would always choose you.* Loki promised pulling Fenrir towards him. It ate at the god how much damage he had caused by leaving, to himself, to tony and to fenrir. Did he want to know whom else he had caused pain.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Fenrir let himself be pulled close, lifting his eyes to examine Loki’s face, judging his words. After a moment, he nodded and wrapped his arms around Loki. Of course he’d known that Loki would always pick him. But the sudden arrival of other people that Loki had lived with instead of living with him had shaken him a bit. “I’m sorry.” He said softly, apologizing for doubting Loki when he should have known better.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki relaxed a bit when Fenrir finally wrapped his arms around him. *There is nothing to be sorry for. I have been gone for months and have not been able to see you recently. It is only natural that you would worry about such things. But you must remember that you can come to me for anything Fenrir.* Loki reminded softly. Loki held his son close as guilt rolled within him, he knew he should have taken Fenrir with him when he had first come back to see him but he had thought his son happy. *I am sorry that I left you here, I should have been with you or you with me.*  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Fenrir hid his face against Loki for a moment, nodding when Loki reminded him that he could talk to him. “I like it here.” Fenrir said quickly after the god apologized. “I just missed you.” He added. He really did like it here. Everyone liked him in the mansion. Well besides Bucky, but the man put up with him. He always had people playing with him, helping him, and teaching him. It was even better than Asgard because no one looked at him differently. But his mother was supposed to be with him. After another moment, Fenrir wiggled away from Loki and began pushing on the chair again. “Uncle is probably already eating out food mother.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki nodded when Fenrir stated that he liked it here at the mansion. *I missed you too my son.* Loki promised. *I don't see myself leaving again anytime soon my son.* Loki continued to promise his son. When Fenrir squirmed to move away Loki released him and allowed him to push the chair around. *If he has I will make sure he regrets it.* Loki chuckled.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

When they reached the dining room almost everyone was already seated and serving themselves food. A space had been left for Loki’s wheelchair between Bruce’s seat and Fenrir’s like that morning. As soon as she saw Loki, Betty got up and retrieved a large salad with grilled chicken pieces and a bowl of jello for Loki, not giving him a smoothie this meal. Conversation had already started, but people were more than happy to bring Loki in. A little after Loki and Fenrir showed up. Tony slunk into the room, sitting on the other side of Fenrir. He focused solely on the boy, talking to him and making sure he ate what he was supposed to, and for the most part the others ignored him, knowing that he wasn’t interested in talking.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki was not surprised to see everyone in the dining hall already, serving themselves food. Helping Fenrir get the chair where he had been that morning for breakfast he gave Betty a grateful smile when she brought him food. The salad was familiar to Loki but he stared puzzled at the jello. Loki listened to the conversation around him as he picked at his food. He engaged in conversation when it was directed at him but he didn't join into conversation without something being poised to him. He was munching pretty steadily on his salad until Tony entered the room. He knew almost instantly when Tony entered and he watched the man take his seat next to Fenrir and converse making sure the pup ate. Loki wanted to speak with him to say anything but he didn't unsure what there was to say and not knowing if JARVIS would translate over everyone else talking. So instead Loki turned back to his food and pushed it around like a child who didn't want to eat would too distracted with his own thoughts.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony didn’t eat, at least not until Fenrir made him, but then it was only a little bit of vegetables. He saw Loki, felt the god’s eyes on him, but he didn’t invite conversation. All conversations that were likely to happen between them right now were better to have in private. Or at least not in front of every person in the mansion. He did notice how Loki stopped eating after he sat down though and it brought a frown to his lips. Bruce intervened before Tony worked himself up to speak though. The doctor reached over to touch Loki’s arm, leaning close to whisper to him, trying to get him to eat and not play with the food on his plate.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki listened closely to Fenrir when the pup started urging Tony to eat and even cast a slight glance in their direction. He was a bit glad to see Tony eat something even if he was sure the man wanted to eat as much as he did which seemed to be nothing at the moment. Looking back down to his food again he let his memories of old meal times at the tower and the mansion take over his mind. Sitting with Tony and making sure that each other got food. The thoughts made Loki's chest tighten as he longed for the familiar instead of the lonely silence. Startled from those thoughts when he felt the touch to his arm he looked up and was a bit disappointed to see that it was Bruce. Of course he should have known who it was from the direction the touch had come from but he had still hoped for Tony. He listened as Bruce whispered to him of how he should eat, nodding almost mechanically. He took a bite of the salad as urged to but it didn't have the same taste as before and he chewed on it for what seemed like forever.

Natasha watched the interaction or the lack of between the two men. She could see how much Loki longed for Tony and she was sure that Tony probably felt the same. She assumed the longing was a bit stronger for Loki given both his heritage with the bond and being pregnant. Giving a sigh as she watched Bruce urge Loki back to eating some more instead of pushing his food around. She resolved to speak with Bruce about the two later when she was scheduled for her stretching exercises.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony sat at the table until Fenrir was done and the meal seemed to be wrapping up. “Alright, it’s time for your lessons.” Tony told Fenrir. Tony had decided to begin teaching Fenrir shortly after Loki left, mainly as a way to focus on something else. So he taught Fenrir everything that would be taught a human child, math and science, geography and history. He’d made Thor join him, every few days the god joining Tony and teaching Fenrir what he remembered and knew of Asgard’s history and things the pup should know. It was only an hour or two a day, but Fenrir was a smart as his mother and devoured the information, so long as he wasn’t impatient to go back to playing. Fenrir didn’t complain, bouncing slightly in his seat. “Can mother come?” he asked. Tony blinked before looking to Loki. “If that’s what he wants.” He said softly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked up when he heard Tony speak saying it was time for lessons. He looked to his right to see that the man had been talking to Fenrir and looked away again. He couldn't really expect Tony to be talking to him, they couldn't speak without JARVIS translating and even then it was hard. He should have known better he berated himself internally picking at his salad again until Fenrir spoke up asking if he could come with. Loki looked up immediately not knowing what to expect and met Tony's eyes. When Tony answered by saying if that was what he wanted he nodded softly before looking to Bruce. Earlier the man had said something about stretching exercises with Natasha and he didn't know if that would cause conflict.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Bruce was a little surprised to see Tony agree to let Loki come with them, but he hid the expression before Loki looked at him. Nodding slightly, he gave a small smile. “Natasha can go through some of her harder exercises before you come. I don’t want to push you too hard just yet.” He said slowly. Fenrir slipped from his seat then, eagerly beginning to pull on Loki’s chair. “You should see all the books I’ve read mother! Tony and uncle Thor have been teaching me a lot.” He said happily. Tony stood then, helping Loki get his chair away from the table and turned the right direction, but then he let Fenrir take over, knowing the boy wanted to help. They went all the way to the library that had belonged to Tony’s mother, and inside, the central table was covered in papers and books, a laptop sat at one end and a dry erase board had been set up, basic math equations still scrawled on it in Tony’s messy writing. “I imagine your mother wouldn’t mind taking over for your uncle Fen. You know Thor doesn’t enjoy lessons too much.” Tony pointed out.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked quite relieved when Bruce nodded to him with a small smile telling him that Natasha could work though her harder exercises before he joined her. As soon as Bruce had said it Loki felt the tug at the back of his chair and looked over his shoulder to smile at Fenrir. *I am sure you have read many.* Loki responded. He was glad to hear that Tony and Thor had taken up teaching Fenrir while he was gone. It hadn't even been something that Loki had considered when he had run. Looking up as Tony moved closer and then manuevered his chair away from the table. For a moment he hoped that Tony was going to push him to where ever it was they were going, but no soon had he thought it than control of the chair was given back to Fenrir. Loki looked away from Tony hiding his disappointment in the distance between them. When they reached the library Loki was surprised and pleased to see what a work area they had set up. Tony's voice brought him from his observance. *I wouldn't know where to start and what Thor has taught him.* Loki said softly.