|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 5:18 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:03 pm
|
Darkened Angel Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:33 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:36 pm
|
Darkened Angel Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:47 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:52 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Darkened Angel Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:54 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:57 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:10 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 2:20 am
 |
|
|
|
Vader: I'm sick and tired of this stuff. All I do is Force Choke people and look and sound cool in this suit. But that's not enough...
Palpy: Maybe you should try show business, like I did some posts back?
Vader: Posts? What are you talking about? But yeah, however, I'm not going for a talk show like you did.
( Some time later, when Palpy and a few stormies are flipping through channels, they see Vader on TV. )
Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for...
Audience: NAME! THAT! SITH!
Announcer: And here's your host, DAAAAAAARTH VAAAAAAAAADERRRRRRRRR!
Vader: * coming from behind the curtain in the background * Thank you! Thank you! And welcome to Name That Sith, the game show where 3 contestants battle it out like opposing Force users in a battle of trivia! Please welcome contestant #1, a man of few words, but just as deadly as he is quiet, Boba Fett! * Boba waves to the camera * And contest #2, a man who doesn't seem to understand how to speak English quite right, Cats! * Cats also waves to the camera * And lastly, contestant #3, a man from another world, give it up for Sub Zero! * Sub Zero waves at the camera, then gets into a fight with Scorpion who, for the sake of not having to explain a whole lot, just magically appears *
( Vader starts the round with Boba, while Sub Zero still fights Scorpion behind the contestant podiums. )
Vader: Boba, the question is... Banana.
Boba: ... ?
Vader: Oh, I'm sorry. The answer was Exar Kun... Exar Kun.
Mortal Kombat Voice: FINISH HIM!
Vader: Cats, we go to you. This Sith Lord was a brilliant tactician and military leader, until he lost his memory temporarily and his apprentice took over his awesome station.
Cats: Answer be are that is it Revan.
Vader: I'm sorry?
Cats: Answer be are that is it Revan! Be it Revan correct it am!
Vader: Ohhhh! Time is up! The correct answer was, Revan.
Cats: Said what was I that! Hear me you am to unable?
Mortal Kombat Voice: Sub Zero wins! Fatality!
Vader: And we now go to Sub Zero, who just finished in time for his question. Okay, the question is, who was Revan's apprentice?
Sub Zero: That's easy, it's...
Mortal Kombat Voice: Round 2... FIGHT!
Vader: No... I'm sorry, the answer is, Malak.
Sub Zero: WTF!?
( The show continues for several rounds of weirdness, until Boba Fett wins and proceeds to the bonus round. )
Vader: Boba, for the ultimate prize of being FayeWeasley's toy from Burger King, what is the name of the coolest Sith Lord from the original trilogy?
Boba: That would be you, Darth Vader.
Vader: THAT IS CORRECT! YOU WIN THE ULTIMATE PRIZE!
* Boba gets stuffed in Faye's bag the next time she goes to Burger King *
(( I know it's long, but I think it's one of my best ones yet. ))
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Darkened Angel Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:12 pm
|
|
|
 |
Ok Im kinda stealing this from someone else but it is still funny.
Palpy: Welcome to sith news hour. Now onto our main story presented by, Lord vader.
Vader: Thank you...*cough* Dungeons and Dragons! Truly an evil game. the people you love, like it or not, are drawn to this with a force more compelling than the darkside drawing them deeper and deeper into evil geekdom. This afternoon, The "Teal squad stormtrooper team of awsomeness" have given us permission to place a hidden camera to spy on an actuall gaming session. Watch this horror as we take you into, Dungeons and dragons!!!!
stormie 1: Golworth, as you go deeper into the wet sewer dungeon you see a door, It is made of steel and is very large. What will you do?
stormie 3: (in kitchen) Where are the cheetos?
stormie 1: There right there.
stormie 3: (still there)Ok...wheres the mountian dew?
stormie 1: Where do you think? Its in the fridge.
stormie 3: (kitchen)Can I have one?
stormie 1: yeah.
stormie 2: Hey I wanna cast a spell ok? And I can cast any of these on the list, right?
stormie 1: Just the first level ones.
stormie 3: (at fridge) Hey do any of you want anything? Im not in the room right?
stormie 1: What room?
stormie 2: I wanna cast "magic missle."
stormie 3: The room where he's casting all these spells from.
Stormie 1: He hasnt cast anything yet.
stormie 2: Yes I am, Im casting "magic missile."
atormie 3: Well where am I?
stormie 1: Your at the bar.
stormie 3: Cool Ill get drunk!
stormie 2: hey I wanna cast "magic missle."
stormie 1: Why are you doing that? theres nothing to attack here.
Stormie 2: Uh..ah..uh...Im attacking the darkness!
all: hahahahahahahahaha
stormie 1: Ha heh ok ok so you attack the darkness blasting the door open, now theres and elf standing infront of you.
stormie 4: Th-thats me right?
stormie 1: He's wearing a brown tunic, and he has blue eyes.
stormie 4: No I dont I have grey eyes.
stormie 1: .....Let me see that sheet.
stormie 4: It says, it says I have blue eyes but I decided I wanted grey eyes.
stormie 1: Whatever! You two can talk to each other or something.
stormie 2: Hello!
stormie 4: Hello.
stormie 2: I am Golworth sorceror of the light.
stormie 4: Then how come you had to cast "magic missle?"
all: hahahahahaha
stormie 1: y-y-y-you guys are being attacked-
stormie 3: Do I see that hapening?
stormie 1: No your at the bar remember!
stormie 3: Oh yeah, Hey roll the dice to see if Im getting drunk.
stormie 1: *sigh* Yeah you are.
stormie 3: Are there any girls there?
stormie 1: Yeah. Ok as I was saying your being attacked by a dire rat, what will you do?
stormie 4: I hit the rat with my small club. *rolls dice* and I hit it and kill it.
stormie 1: Ok now what?
stormie 4: Hmmmm Ill tie the rat's tail to the club!
stormie 1: what? why?
stormie 4: its my new weapon. Its a rat flail!
stormie 1: That is the most retarted thing I have ever heard. I will not allow it!
stormie 3: H-hey guys Im getting drunk.
stormie 1: We know.
stormie 4: Why is it retarted when I just want to get a little creative?
stormie 1: It's not in the rules! You know what? You keep the flail and you get the plauge, now your dead.
stormie 2: Can I have his items?
stormie 1: No! you know what? you die too!
stormie 3: What about me?
stormie 1: your not there your getting wasted!
stormie 3: I know but if there are any girls there I wanna "do" them!
vader: There you have it. a most frightening look into the galaxly's most frightening pasttime. But do not blame the children for getting into a world of nightmare. Blame their gym teachers for ridiculing them when they cant do a single pull-up. this is lord vader for sith action news 10, signing off.
palply: Thank you vader now an inside story on kittens! Why are they soooo adorible? Well we disected 20 of them and will tell you the results after the break.
((looooonnnnngggg @___@))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 6:28 pm
|
|
|
|
((O.o... i'm sorry but you totally massacred the dead ale wives skit. or 8-bit D&D. whichever you took it from))
Palpatine sits in front of his battlefield overview holos. "Blast. They destroyed another star destroyer. Commander, we need another Star Destroyer!"
Com: "We can't build one sir."
Pal: "Why the hell not?"
Com: "Because we don't have a starport."
Pal: "What are you talking about? The whole spacestation's a star port!!"
Com: "Not the type I mean. I mean the weird circular thing that makes spaceships."
Pal: "Well build a star port, then build a Star Destroyer!"
Com: "We can't build that with just the star port."
Pal: "What do you mean?"
Com: "Well, we need to build a control tower onto the star port first."
Pal: "Alright, alright!! Then build the damned control tower onto it! And then build a star destroyer!!"
Com: "It's not that easy, sir. After we build that, we need to build a science facility."
Pal: "ALRIGHT!! Build the star port, then the control tower, then the facility, then make me another star destroyer!!"
Com: "I can't do that, sir."
Pal: "Why the hell not?!?!?!"
Com: "Because we need to build a physics lab onto the science facility first."
Pal: "ARRRRRRRGGGG!!!!" *force lightnings the commander*
Pal: "You there! You've been promoted! Build me a starport, then a control tower on that, then a science facility, then a physics lab!! And then build me star destroyers!!!"
Com2: "Er... we need to build a barracks first, and then a factory, and then we can build the starport..."
Pal: "WTF?!?!?!" He collapses in his chair. "Whatever. Just do it."
Com2: "Yes, sir."
***later
Com2: "We built all of the required buildings to make the start destroyer, sir."
Pal: "Good. Now I need a fleet of 12! We've lost a lot so far in this battle."
Com2: "Yes, si... err.. I'm sorry, but it seems we can't sir."
Pal: Angry, "Why?!!?"
Com2: "We're out of crystals and vespene gas."
Pal: "WHAT?!!? WTF is vespene gas?!?!"
Com2: "I don't really know sir, but it seems we need quite a lot of it to make a star destroyer, let alone a fleet of them."
Pal: "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Darkened Angel Vice Captain
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 7:05 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 7:21 pm
|
|
|
|
con't.
Com: "Ok, sir, we fixed the virus and got the hax to work."
Pal: "Finally! Now make those star destroyers!!"
Com: "Yes, sir!"
A few moments later
Com: "Er... sir...?"
Pal: "What is it? Are they all done?"
Com: "Err.. we're way over our population points, so we can't build anything."
Pal: "Over our what?"
Com: "Well, y'see... we only have 200 population points. Each SD is 50, and a tie fighter is 1/2. A Tie interceptor is 1. And a stormtroopers and workemen are only 1/5, but you know how many we have.
Pal: "So how many population points are we using now?"
Com: "Errrrr....... 70,000."
Pal: "Wha-"
Com: "Endor forces included."
Pal: "We have to wait to get down to 150 population points before we can make another star destroyer?!?!"
Com: "Apparently so."
Pal: "Damn."
Com: "Maybe we can get allies to join us with their forces, so we can add their capacity to our own?"
Pal: "That's an excellent idea."
Com: "Thank you sire, I... oh... errr.."
Pal: "What is it?"
Com: "Are our allies pink...? or...brown? Or green?"
Pal: "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" *bangs his head on the wall again*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 8:10 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
