|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:42 pm
 |
|
|
 |
 
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Thoughtful. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
Slowly the rising anger dwindled down once again, settling near the back of her mind to curl up for later use should the subject ever come back up. But knowing Finn, it wasn't like he would just open up to the conversation; at least, for now he wouldn't. She'd have to push and shove her way into it like a professor at college prying her students to answer a question leading to an analytic conversation. Tucking her rock candy messily against her calve, she released the stick and instead lifted her hand to run her fingertips through her bangs and curls that shifted along her forehead. What would she say? What could she say? She hadn't wanted this to be their own day off - but it almost felt fake in every sense of the word. Quick, here comes Bree, put a smile on and pretend you're happy. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate it, but a replacement of happiness for the real thing made her nauseous and... Well, irritable. She wanted to be Finn and Bree again, but without all of the a*****e characteristics and bullshit drama that had been pouring into their life lately. These weren't the kind of "surprises" any couple wanted. This... This all made her want to go away; back home to contemplate what happened and what she would further do with her life.
She had never felt the need to go away so often. It was heartbreaking. She wanted to be with Finn, to stay by his side, but not if it meant getting mentally slapped at least once a week to the point where she had to wonder what exactly she was doing here. A heavy weight settled back onto her being, her shoulders dipping inward as her heart slammed heftily against her chest. She thought... She thought everything would be happy, just as happy-go-lucky as her childhood and the majority of high school. But this... This wasn't what she wanted at all. She had given up everything just to be surrounded in angst and emotional turmoil with a slap of physical pain to top it off. She wanted Finn back - someone who would do everything he could no matter what it meant; just as she did for him. Not... Not a workaholic that was gone all hours of the day and night. She understood being a manager, but other people worked there too - it wasn't as if he ran the shop all by himself. She had seen cashiers come and go; just as he had left his new cashier by herself tonight. What would he have done if their baby was born and he was still the manager? Would he have went off to work while she was took care of him or her all by herself? And after just giving birth... She sighed brushing her hand against the upper side of her cheek.
Nevertheless, her hand hadn't stopped portraying her love for Dime, scratching along his chin, the bridge of his nose, around his ears, and back down his back to his flickering tail. Speaking of pets... She needed either Finn or herself to go by Tyrese's house at some point and pick up Alistair. She hadn't even been able to fully take care of- "What?" She turned back to his face, blinking slowly. The rain outside began to pick up along the window frame, pittering and pattering louder and louder whilst soothing the brunette's mind. The hand in her hair moved down to take the food, now having to lean up to rearrange everything along herself. She rose her hand up and away from Dime, picking up the glass she had settled between him and herself to place the empty container on the coffee table, along with the seagren rock candy she suddenly didn't have a dire need for. Instead, she pulled the food towards herself, tucking back against the couch and pulling the fork free from the rice and spicy chicken. For the first time in the last few days, her senses kicked back on, truly waving the spicy contents up her nostrils, which flared in return. After giving it a gentle stir, but careful not to mix the chicken and rice together, she spoke.
"I'm just... Thinking over the past couple of weeks..." She began, lifting her fork to inspect the piece of chicken settled on the tines. Once she was satisfied, she pushed the poultry past her lips, inserting it against her tongue and pulling the silverware back out. When had she eaten last...? She hadn't meant to be "skipping out" on meals... It was the last thing that crossed her mind over all this unexpected... Whatever it would be called now. Her child needed her... And so, she took another scoop and pushed it forcefully towards her mouth.
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:43 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
POP! Superman ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
Dime’s head moved along with her scratching fingers, rubbing against them all he could while purring the entire time. His claws kneaded into her flesh every few seconds, enjoying the love and attention he was getting from his mother. To him, she was. She was the only woman he had known throughout his life, since living with Finn. Feeling her suddenly move, he opened his eyes and looked up at her. A few seconds later, as she moved to put the things on the coffee table, he jumped to his feet and jumped off the couch, trotting away to find his own little spot.
Leaning against the back of the couch, Finn dropped his hands into his lap as he looked at her and the way she stirred her food. The look on her face wasn’t the same as a moment ago, but he could see it swirling under her thoughtful gaze. They’d been together long enough that he could, on occasion, read the expressions that flickered across her face. He wasn’t saying he could all the time, every time, but he was slowly getting there. Maybe after ten or fifteen years of marriage he’d be able too. Exhaling through his nose, he looked down at the couch, then his hands, watching his fingers randomly move about and the way his skin would bunch up as they curled inwards. The last couple of weeks huh? He had been too. It just felt like everything was suddenly different since learning she was pregnant. Not in a bad way, but it almost felt like he had no time to be dawdling like he did before. Sure, he didn’t do much of it to begin with after work, or on days off, but now it just felt like there was no time at all. He wanted to put in as much hours and make as much money as he could so they had enough for when the baby came. So they could buy everything they needed and not have to worry about making sure they had enough.
He felt rushed and stressed, even though they had nine months to prepare. Not to mention he was scared out of his mind. Their first child! What if he dropped it? What if it didn’t like him? There were so many what ifs running through his head on a daily basis that he could barely see straight! Perhaps he had just gotten lost in the fog of his fears and ended up just shutting her out completely, and that was his fault. He didn’t want to worry her, which was probably why he hadn’t said anything to her either. But now was as good a time as any to talk about all this stuff so they could work past it. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy about it, because he was! He had created another person with the love of his life! How could that not make him happy? But it was everything else that was causing him to panic.
Finn sighed heavily as he continued to stare down at his hands. “I’m sorry Bree,” he began softly, slowly clenching his hands into fists. “I’ve just been so...Scared lately. I guess I was letting myself get so caught up in that fear that I ended up forgetting that you were there for me to help me through it. I mean, what if something goes wrong with our baby? Or it freaks out every time I hold it? What if I can never make it happy? If they get sick, will we have enough money to pay for the medical bills? I mean, I’ve just been thinking over everything that could possibly go wrong and forgot to think about all the good things. It’s my fault for closing everyone off like I could handle this myself, but I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want you to worry. And then when you went to the hospital...All those fears I already had just piled onto to these new ones.”
“I’m not doubting us having this baby, I would never do that,” he said as he finally looked up to her, gold hopefully meeting purple/brown. “I mean, helped create a brand new, whole person with the woman I love more than anything else in the world. That makes me the happiest I’ve ever been, only second to actually tying you down. But I just can’t help feeling...Nervous about all this. Yeah, some of it has to do with my own upbringing, but most of it just my personal fears. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done. Like I said yesterday, I know I’ve been a jerk and I’m sorry. I didnt mean to cut you out. I guess I just thought I could handle it on my own. And I can’t. I know you’ve needed me, and I was so blind by everything else I didn’t notice until seeing you lying in that hospital bed. But I promise, on my life, that I won’t let it happen anymore. We’re a team. I won’t let us just be individuals again. We’re meant to be Finn and Bree.” Slowly, almost hesitantly, Finn reached out his hand towards her, palm up and silently asking for her hand.
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:44 pm
|
|
|
|
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Thoughtful; Collected. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
Bree’s gaze flickered down to the box settled on the other side of the coffee table. She had to tilt her head to the right slightly, cocking to see past the distorted view of the cup. One large, lonesome box nestled along the black and white rug with scratched crevices to indicate it had been handled by a factory or rough car trip on the way over to Soleil; and her house for that matter. Wherever it had come from, Tyrese had bought it specifically for them - and it made her wonder if he thought about the new family in his free time. Who was she kidding? If he went out of his way to pick up… Whatever it was for them, he had to then. She enjoyed his company much more than she realized, laughing without feeling the need or realizing the cue to laugh - it was an instantly click that could only happen between a pair of people that enjoyed the other. She pulled her fork away from her mouth, tightening her lips so as any particles of food wouldn’t escape her mouth. It took her some time to chew her food, feeling her appetite wiggle and wobble towards having an appetite and having it deplete in an instant. But no matter - she was determined to eat at this point if it meant both salvaging the food and getting nutrients to her child. She only hoped she wouldn’t be tossing it all back up any time soon; but so far, the pregnancy had been an easy one. No absolutely crazy hormonal moments save for the occasional strange craving for an odd assortment of food. And even then, it wasn’t completely out of the park.
She stabbed the tines into the rest of the food, lifting the container off of her now empty lap to settle it on the edge of the table and leaning back into the couch for the first round of bites to settle in the current black pit state of her stomach. ”Finn…” Why he said things like this, she would have absolutely no clue. They weren’t poor. Hell, they could get pretty close to living in Lumiere if they really salvaged the extra spending money on their budget, but that would mean they wouldn’t be able to go out on occasion and have a good time. Nor would they be able to afford any more arcade games for him. The average person only needed around thirty thousand to get by, and she, by herself, was making double and a half of that. Finally, she tore herself away from the unopened gift and came to meet his gaze just as he turned to meet hers. ”You have to get it out of your head that we’re some sort of poor family. We chose Pasadena because we enjoyed the look of the neighborhood, not because it was the most expensive one we could afford. If we were going for expenses, we would be living in Doux right now - but we’re saving a lot of money just by living here. And we enjoy living here. Or at least… I do.” It was wrong of her to assume he possibly liked the same thing, and so she’d hold her tongue off of that for now. ”But it’s not like we’re living on scraps to get by. And I- No, we have two very loving parents that would drop anything just to make sure we were up on our feet again.” She shook her head. Back to the parental view of Finn. Why he never saw her parents as his… She just couldn’t understand. She knew that he had two that loved him very much, his fosters, but that was a while ago… Could he not see that two people adored him just as much - if not even more? They had welcomed him into their life with open arms, yet he couldn’t get it out of his mind that they weren’t his parents.
”Nothing… Nothing has gone wrong with this child. But the only reason you don’t know that is because you haven’t been with them. You almost missed my first sonogram for God’s sake. It’s not enough for you to allow your best friend - who is really struggling on his own right now - act as your replacement. If he hadn’t texted you telling you how upset and absolutely terrified I was of that very appointment, you wouldn’t have even shown up in the first place. I would have been left alone wondering what the hell my husband’s best friend was doing there - who at the time, I didn’t think even liked me.” She paused, inhaling slowly to regain her thoughts and breath. It was true. At least now she could find comfort in that one thought - that Tyrese had a fondness for her company. ”The more you think about all these things, the further you throw yourself into work and completely forget about everyone around you. You have a tendency to forget you’re not the only one thinking over these things. But the weird thing is, every time you go to work that you’re not here? I can’t help but feel like you’re just pushing off the thoughts and pretending they never happened.” Her hands landed on the crevice between her thighs, one tucking underneath the top leg to salvage any warmth coming off of her skin. In reality, it hadn’t done a damn thing, the only heat radiating off of the fire and surrounding the room itself slowly. It was helping, though relatively at a snail’s pace. ”It’s almost like in turn for talking about it, a physical gift is given and the fight is kaput.” Her eyebrows dipped downward in thought. It wasn’t by any means an angry tone throughout the conversation, nor an accusing one, but more so in thought over the past events.
”I know. I know you’re angry that I put myself in danger. But I don’t regret what I did, Finn. I stood up for what was right - you know that. You know I stand up for my friends. And honestly? Tyrese has been there for me more than you have in the past three weeks. Every moment that you've snapped or disappeared? He's been by my side. But you're so blinded by your antics that you can't even see that your supposed "best friend" is protecting your wife like I'm his lover." Her curls shook slightly as her head bobbed around in thought. It was exactly what she had written in her diary the night before. About how Tyrese had been there for her through every step of the way, telling her to hold through just a bit longer because Finn would make his way back around. She believed him - she trusted him. I should have been with a woman like you. ”You see it as some sort of betrayal to your friendship. You sit here and place it in your mind that Tyrese is the bad guy." She held her tongue over the sudden jump of affection from Tyrese, feeling an overcoming warmth wrap around her like a fresh blanket from the dryer. "Like he's your arch nemesis purposely intending to hurt me. But in reality? He's been your replacement and looking out for someone you should be holding first hand. And he's hurting... He's hurting bad. But here you are perched on your pedestal like he was the one that threw me over the lawn."
Tiredly she dragged the free hand down her face and opened her mouth, closing it the next second to rethink over what she would say next. Was she coming off a bit too harsh? Probably. But at this point, all of it needed to be said or she would never get it off of her chest. He was her husband - and so he would need to hear things like this come for the mouth of his wife. Hopefully it would hit him straight in the chest. The heavy weight on her shoulders began to lift, her eyes physically lifting to their natural state. It felt so good to let everything off of her chest, even if she might be overwhelming him with thoughts. ”The fact that he made sure I stayed safe all the way home, made me dinner, and remained with me all throughout the night should be proof enough to you that he cares more about my well being than you think. What happened with Lilian?” She clicked her tongue, shaking her head. ”She’s a disgusting person, Finn. I’ve never met someone I’ve truly hated as much as I do her. I’ve never had such contempt and disgust for someone…” Her words trailed off a second and she rose a hand to gently settle her fingertips against his extended palm in a princess-like fashion. ”I love you, Finn…” She whispered, exhaling slowly. ”I’ve never stopped loving you…” Her heart gave a slow stutter against her chest, beating down on her rib cage. ”But I’ve felt more like just a Clark with the way you’ve been treating me…” A small sigh escaped her lips, her face turning away from him and up towards the flickering images of the television. The hiss and cry of a raptor echoed from the speakers. ”I married you because I didn’t want to be just Bree anymore… I wanted to be by your side for the rest of my life…” One last quiet pause before finishing up, her eyes lifting to meet his face. "The more you push me away... The more I'm going to feel either alone or like someone else's girl..."
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:51 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
POP! Superman ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
“It’s not that I think we’re poor, it’s that we don’t know what could happen tomorrow. Something unexpected and crazy could happen and I just want us to be prepared for anything,” he started with a heavy heave of his bare chest. This would be a long conversation, but he knew it needed to be had. It was better they had it now, than when things were so completely destroyed they couldn’t be repaired. “I love our house too. Although it’s killer on my knee, I can’t see us living anywhere else. Spending the rest of our lives. I see us growing old and grey here.” There was another soft sigh from him at the mention of her parents. It had always been a little...Touchy. He knew they loved him like he was their own. They treated him as much. And he appreciated it, he really did. Often times he found himself calling them mom and dad, too. But to him, he only had one set of parents; even if they weren’t alive anymore. Bree’s parents, they were his in-laws. They were family, and always would be, but they weren’t his parents. It was nothing against them, or Bree. God no! But sometimes it felt like he was almost replacing the first people that loved and cared for him when he called her parents mom and dad. But she was right. He had asked them for the car because they were going to need it, and Bree couldn’t be riding around on his motorcycle while she was pregnant; no matter how much she wanted too. They hadn’t hesitated in saying yes.
“I know we do, and I love them for that,” he added with the slightest upturn in his lips. It wasn’t as if he didn’t love her parents. He was possibly the only husband in the world that actually liked his in-laws. And to say he loved them, other husbands might think him insane! His small smile faded as his thoughts slowly turned to the real problem that had been festering between them. He wasn’t denying that he was being a complete jerk and forgetful airhead about almost everything lately. Driving himself into work to help and try and forget his problems. Even being there more for his best friend then his own wife. He wasn’t married to Tyrese and so he shouldn’t have put so much time and effort into his problems. Maybe it was a way for him to act as if nothing was wrong in his own life. Focusing on the problems of another person, he could pretend his life was picture perfect like everyone always thought it was. Just because they were soulmates, didn’t mean he and Bree didn’t fight. They were human and married; all couples fight. This had to be the biggest fight they had ever had in their entire relationship, and all of it was his fault because he was nothing more than a moron. He had to be the biggest moron in the world!
Thinking back onto her first ultra sound, his brows furrowed a little in deep thought. Hadn’t he been the one to ask Ty to take her because Jacob couldn’t? It had been weeks ago so his recollection was just a little fuzzy. No, he hadn’t asked, Ty had emailed him saying that he stopped by their house and took her because Jacob wasn’t around. And his freaking out on what to do. He remembered being upset over that. He was supposed to be her best friend and he had ignored her. Finn swallowed a hard lump in his throat. And that was before he had anyone working under him to take over the store so he could leave. He had asked Jacob because he knew he’d be able to convince her to go. She kept refusing whenever he tried to persuade her to go to the doctors. But it actually irked him to hear her say Ty was his replacement. He was being replaced? That fear of her not loving him anymore sprang back to life like a wildfire. If she wanted him there so badly, she should have put her foot down like she did on other things. Firmly tell him. Don’t shy around it and sigh with that depressed look on her face.
“You’re right,” he said flatly. He wasn’t such a moron that he hadn’t noticed a few things happening between them lately. But just like everything else, he tried to forget it by working. Only making things worse; like he often did. “I have just been pushing them away with work, or some other outlet. I should have been talking it out with you.” He had been with Ty, which was a bad thing to do considering. “I should have been there and there’s no excuse for my absence lately. I’ve been neglectful and self-centered, simple as that. I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry and that I’m going to work on it,” he paused as he sighed and leaned back against the arm of the couch, dropping his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “I didn’t want to burden you with anymore of my problems after you’ve already done so much for me and I’ve done absolutely nothing for you. There’s nothing I can seem to do to make you happy. You shouldn’t have had to give up so much just for me to be happy. And it bothers me immensely that I try to give you something in return, like keeping your office but you just shut it down. I could easily just go to the arcade if I want to play any of my games, but there’s nowhere for you to do your crazy, mad scientist experiments like you want. I want you to have your happiness too. Something that is special to you.”
“And the whole you and Lillian thing…” he paused once again, trying to think of the right words. He wasn’t actually angry with her. Frustrated maybe, but it was more so that he had been scared for her safety than anything, and it came out as anger. He agreed with her that the blonde was a disgusting person. She didn’t even deserve to be called a person, for what she did to Ty, or Bree. He still felt that if she had just held her tongue, though it was an impossible feat for her, nothing bad would have happened to her. He wasn’t wrong for thinking that way. She hadn’t just put herself in danger by doing that. And what if Ty’s daughter had been around for it? And it wasn’t that he didn’t feel for his best friend, but it felt like he hadn’t done a thing other than try and move in on his territory. Bree wasn’t an object, but she was his wife and not Ty’s responsibility to take care of. Yeah, Finn was doing a piss poor job lately, but that was for him to work through. Not have some other man swoop in and save the day.
He knew Ty wasn’t the reason she got hurt, and he took responsibility by taking her to the hospital. He’s thankful for that. But the moment he got there, Ty should have left; his job was done. A calloused hand came up to comb through his messy white hair. God! He still needed to get this crap out of his hair! He really did want to be there for him, but he had to fix everything that he had broken with his wife first. She came first...After putting her last so many times the last few weeks. It was like the fog settling around his eyes and brain were finally lifting. He wouldn’t lose her. Finn absolutely refused to lose Bree just because he was an idiot! He needed to be there for her first. She was his wife, mother of his child, soul mate, best friend, lover; his everything. His love for her couldn’t even be measured by general means.
“I’m more frustrated than anything. I know exactly why you did it, but I wish you hadn’t.” He already knew that he had to apologize to her whenever, if he ever, saw her again. Finn knew what he did wasn’t right either and he planned to apologize. He knew Bree never would, but he was merely apologizing for punching her. She didn’t deserve anymore than that. At least from him. He wasn’t apart of the initial situation so he had no say in anything about it. “I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I’m upset at him, but that’s it. And me, on a pedestal, that’s a joke. I certainly don’t think anything like that, but it didn’t exactly sound like he tried to stop anything either. That’s why I’m upset with him. Just because he took you to the hospital, didn’t mean he tried to do anything else. I very much appreciate everything he did for you after the fact, but if you had called me, I would have picked you up. I know your phone was dead, but the hospital has phones you can use. I would have come to you in a heartbeat but you have to ask. You know how much of an idiot I am. You have to ask and tell me something directly otherwise I won’t get them.”
Finally he sat back up, straightening himself and taking her hand as he finally felt her fingers slide along his hanging hand. He almost thought she wouldn’t even bother touching him. Sighing heavily as he looked down at her hand and suddenly felt his lower lip quivering. He never broke down because he was upset, but this time he just couldn’t stop himself. His golden eyes shimmered with tears as his hand slowly, tenderly, curled around hers. As tears silently fell from his eyes, he studied her face as his chest tightened with each downfall of those hot, salty drops. “You’re not someone else’s girl. You’re my girl, always have been and always will be. Bree, I’ve loved you since the moment we met. Since the first time I saw that purple swirl around in your eyes. It was like a heavenly glow was surrounding you; as if you were made specifically for me. It’s corny and maybe even a litt- a lot sappy, but it’s the truth…” his voice began to crack as his composure was slowly breaking. “You’re not just Bree anymore and I’m not just Finn. We’re the Teagans and we’re forever by each other’s side.”
Finn scooted along the couch to get closer to his half naked wife. His throat hurt from keeping himself from completely breaking down, but he ignored the pain. Bringing up his other hand, he cupped her cheek lovingly as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. “Nothing in this world could ever make me stop loving, caring, fighting, or being there for you. You. Our baby. Even Dime. All of you are my life and without you I would surely die,” his whispered as he leaned in even further to press his lips against hers.
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:53 pm
|
|
|
|
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Stern; Sour. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
No. She wasn’t done. This was far from being over. No longer would she suck up her complete thoughts with a finishing kiss from his lips. She swiveled her look to the side, closing her eyes in irritability so his kiss would land upon her paled cheek. It was sweet and adoring to her in every way - but at this point, she almost had to wonder if he actually knew her anymore. She gave up her office to keep his happiness. She knew that he needed that distraction away from the job he was forced to give up because he was too afraid of going under; something he could have gotten fixed years ago when it happened. There was nothing to scare him except for the fact that he was terrified to be surrounded by the darkness. His knee… It was one of the safest procedures they could operate on. It wasn’t as if they were going to break a major artery or amputate his limb. He’d been living in a place of his own design, undermining hers in another place in other space and time completely. They were a married couple, not the same separated kids from high school. It wasn’t a sentiment or whose problems were whose, it was the fact that they faced their problems together. Yet here, he had it in his mind that he was a different person completely; a spoiled child that felt the constant needing of finding out who he would have been and not who he is. No one person could blame their problems on stupidity. No one was naive and innocent enough to believe they were harmlessly doing nothing wrong.
”You shouldn’t have left in the first place.” That part had come out much harsher than she intended. In what world was it okay to leave a broken spouse in a place of not being able to get home. ”You utterly abandoned me, Finn. And you put it in your head that the reason these things happen is because you’re a complete moron. But the Finn I know? The Finn that I fell in love with? He wouldn’t be sitting here making excuses and begging for his wife to take pity on him with tears.” This person in front of her… This wasn’t Finn. This was an entity that tried to act like him - a shapeshifter of darkness to take his place while the real husband wallowed beneath in silence. Just because she was a fighter didn’t mean he wasn’t one. ”He wouldn’t have left me, as his wife, to face the world on my own when he, you, knew that I needed help. You left me with nothing but a false lifeline to beg and cry, crawling back to you as if I was the one that did something wrong.” She was flushed with anger and irritation, hungrily begging to see some sort of change in his line of sight.Everything up to this point, she was starting to see as a mistake. For years her faith had remained strong; and it was true, she loved him dearly like no other, but this was getting monstrously out of hand. ”I wasn’t going to sit around for an hour and climb back on my hands and knees back to you when you yourself told me you were furious with something you weren’t there for.”
She shook her head, planting her hand on her forehead to feel the heat radiating off of her now. She gave a distanced look over to the fireplace, watching it flicker and dance without approval. She envied it - being so free again and enjoying the taste of life for that short span of time. ”For all you know, she could have come back and finished the job. She’s a monster, Finn. Tyrese threw himself in the line of fire to save me when he could have easily turned his back and ran to her instead. She left without a single scrape on her body, yet there I was writing on the ground with a broken rib and a baby that possibly died in that single moment.” Her hand threw itself down her face from there, pinching her lips before releasing and settling in its place. ”He was there because he saw me walking home. It wasn’t as if I called him over you - like I’m unfaithful to you or something. I needed help and he knew that. He stayed and constantly, constantly told me you’d be back for me. And that made me wonder…” Her glance came to rest back on his face, eyebrows never once coming up from their furrowed position. They held a deep-in-thought position between her amethyst irises. ”If you were so worried, and if you’re so keen on keeping your thoughts about not protecting your friends, then why didn’t you come home? Why did you think you had to stay and protect Gin? He’s not your husband. Dia isn’t your wife; but I know that you wanted to protect her. You wanted to make sure she could sleep at night with her future husband right there next to her. Just like Tyrese did for me.”
Her bare legs dragged against the fabric of the couch, pulling back towards her chest so her arms could tuck between them and herself. Was he really so blind to seeing what was right in front of him? At this rate, he could yell and be angry with her and tell her she was wrong. He could go off and find someone else to talk to that would only agree with his standpoint, but she would know she was in the right. All of this time… She had given up what she could so he could complain about what would have been and what he couldn’t do rather than appreciating what he had. If he could do that just for once without inwardly thinking she was unhappy, then she could have some sort of sense in right for what she had done. But if he wanted to, then they would move back. She would change it all again and give up her bar at the snap of a finger for him. Yet he couldn’t close his shop one day to come to an important doctor’s appointment that would either tell them she was pregnant or something was seriously wrong with her after explaining the tests were false positives. She accepted that the Chemistry section of her life was over - just as he had come to terms with not being able to go back into basketball. She hadn’t done “crazy science stuff” since she taught back in Koizora; it wasn’t exactly easy to get a hold of chemicals in order to do her experiments. Besides, what would they be for? So she could sit around and watch them happen without telling a soul? Her office had been for relaxation and research to study in the convenience of silence as if she really was still a teacher.
”If you feel like you’re like your biological parents…” She trailed off a second, only now realizing the tears that had welled in her eyes when she glanced towards him. She refused to let them fall this time, tired of the hot, stinging touch that only portrayed weakness to the situation. ”If you feel like you’re going to up and leave-” She held up a finger, cautiously cutting off any source of ‘I wasn’t!’before it could even be said. ”And don’t even tell me you haven’t thought about it.” She snapped. ”Then you need to get up and find yourself right now. If you feel like you have some sort of sense of abandonment in your system even though they had absolutely nothing to do with your upbringing - then you better get it out of your system right now and do what you have to do, Finn. Because I won’t be here when it happens.” It wasn’t a threat entirely. It was a warning that she wouldn’t let herself be taken advantage of just for his own benefit. If he left… Her jaw clenched tightly, teeth slamming and grinding in place together while her tongue ran across the roof of her mouth. It felt sour - hard and tasteless save for the pucker against her cheeks. There was nothing she could say at this point to turn him around. ”This baby and I won’t be sticking around to find out what kind of person you make yourself out to be. We know the real Finn. This was made with the real Finn.” She snatched her hand into his, jerking it downwards to force it between her legs and pushing against her stomach. ”And the real Finn doesn’t blame his problems on everyone else.” Which was exactly what he was doing.
The real Finn would have turned back around to that hospital room as soon as he left. The real Finn would have been eager as hell to find out if his wife was really pregnant instead of relying on two people to get her there. Jacob took her and she denied his wishes to go in with her, terrified that something may actually be wrong and that she'd have to relay the information to her friends. Only after did she decide to text Tyrese, whose willingness to be there for her shocked her to oblivion. And even then, Finn hadn't even bothered to come by until Tyrese openly messaged him about her. It wasn't his job to tell Finn what his wife was doing - he wasn't a surrogate. And it wasn't her job to have to tell him to be there for her - nor to stick up for her in situations. For weeks now he had been practically blaming everything on either her or Tyrese. Everything was “their fault” in a sense to him. And that’s how his perspective had been coming out to her. She married a man - not a pity party in disguise that attempted to make it seem like everyone else was the bad guy.
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:55 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
POP! Superman ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
As he leaned in and received nothing but her cheek, Finn closed his eyes slowly and pulled away. Turning his hazy gaze to the coffee table, he blinked back the tears and wiped away the ones that had already fallen. Sniffling, he listened to her in utter silence. Once again she was right. He should have gone back for her. He shouldn’t have left her alone in her time of need. He really was failing so miserably as a husband and digging himself so deep into a hole that he almost didn’t know how to climb his way out. There was a way, he just hadn’t seen it yet. He so wished he could see it now, but it was determined to stay as far away from him as humanly possible. Like it was taunting him and wanting him to continue to suffer in this darkness until he had nothing left to claw his way out for.
Slowly he moved away from her, sliding back on the couch to sit away from her like he was a child being scolded. They were all things he needed to hear, he knew that, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. All her angry was well placed. He was being an even bigger idiot than even he realized. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, his jaw clenched, the muscles showing through his skin. He was always gone working and sharing all his time with other people when he should have been doing that with his wife. Why hadn’t he been doing that? Why had he been neglecting her so much? He suddenly felt so sick, all appetite being lost to him. Just looking at his food sitting on the table made him nauseous. Never once had he lost his appetite, but now, the very idea made him want to hurl all over the place.
Because of him, and all his...Issues, his best friend was taking his place. He was inserting himself where Finn should be, and he wasn’t there. He was letting someone else be there for his wife when it should be him. He was letting his fears of turning out like his biological parents, and wanting to make their life perfect, that he was forgetting that everything was perfect the way it was. He had everything he needed in life. He had Bree, for however long that was going to last, a roof over his head, a stable job, a baby on the way. He had in-laws that loved him unconditionally, and even he pushed them at an arms distance because he didn’t want the memory of his first set of real parents to be lost to him. That was absurd. No one could replace them in his heart and he should know that! And they weren’t trying to replace them...Absently, Finn’s hand rose to cover the scar from that night all those years ago. His fingers slowly ran along its length as they flashed through his mind.
No matter how much he did want to be angry and yell at her, stomp his feet and say that she was wrong on some things...She wasn’t. She was right. How was it the wife was always right in every relationship? Suddenly he was jerked forward, hand against her skin. Finally looking to her, his shimmering eyes looked down at his hand before up at her. If he felt like he was going to leave? He had never thought about it. Why she even thought that he had, made no sense to him and the expression on his face conveyed that same confusion. His gaze once again drifted down to where she had placed his hand and stared. Just because he felt stressed and scared didn’t mean he wanted to leave. And then a conversation he had with Ty came back to him. He had voiced his fear of what if he ended up abandoning her and their baby. Did he think he really could do that though? Just like the idea of food right now, the thought made him feel sick. Could he really, honestly, leave the only woman that he has ever loved more than himself? Finn paused his thoughts for a moment. He felt his chest twist painfully at the idea that popped into his head next. Soon his stomach twisted with it. Oh god! Tearing his hand away from her, he covered his mouth and jumped up from the couch. He wouldn’t make it to the bathroom that’s for sure. Rushing into the kitchen, he turned on the faucet to the sink and heaved out everything that had been in his stomach.
When he was finished, he cleaned out the sink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Getting handfuls of water, he cleaned out his mouth and sighed as he turned off the faucet and leaned against the counter for a moment. Pushing himself off, he lumbered his way back into the living room and stood beside the couch, staring down at her. Placing a hand on his hip and running the other through his hair, he sighed heavily as he tried to think more clearly. He had let everything get so wrong! She was right. He wasn’t acting like himself and he didn’t know who he was acting like. His brows furrowed in deep, deep thought. His problems were his own, and he could be upset about how she handled the Lillian situation all he wanted, but he was just as much to blame for everything else. They had always been so close and now suddenly he was pushing her away and really, he had no clue why. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his wife, but for some reason he felt the need to handle his issues alone. He didn’t want to have her giving up anymore for him. Every time she did, she was always so depressed. Every time he wanted to give up something for her, so she could be happy, she always turned him down. He wanted to give her everything she ever wanted out of life. It didn’t have to be material things, because she wasn’t that type of girl, but if she just had those little things that made her happy. Her pastels made her happy. Being a teacher made her happy. Doing her crazy experiments made her happy. He wanted to give her all those things, but she turned them down whenever he wanted to try and give them to her.
But maybe that was his problem right there. He had suddenly stopped being appreciative of everything she had done for him and began resenting her for it. That’s what it was. He felt that he was the source of all her misfortune and every time she gave something up for his benefit, it felt like he was ripping another hole in her life. Why couldn’t she stop giving up her happiness for him? Why couldn’t she let him do it for her for once? He wanted to. Each time it felt like he was the cause of something going wrong in her life, and now he really was the reason things were going wrong in her life. He was the cause of it. All of it. He hadn’t wanted to be, and now that’s exactly where he put himself. She was just doing the very things he would do for her. If there was something that had prevented her from living her dream, he would have gladly given up everything for her to not suffer through the deep, dark depression. Now she was, and it wasn’t by some crazy strong of events, it was because he was blaming her, resenting her loving actions, holding himself hostage to his own fears. He needed to stop distancing himself from her or there would be no her to come home to.
Finally relenting, he settled back into his spot on the couch. He needed to take responsibility for his actions and words. Stop blaming other people and only himself. No matter how many times he said it was his fault and that she was right, it would only ring true if he truly believed it. Did he believe it? Finn took a deep, contemplative breath. He mulled over the thought for a good few minutes before mentally affirming that he did. He did believe she was right and everything had been his fault. He was being childish and standoffish. There was a bit of him that was still utterly terrified of being a parent, but not because of the people that gave birth to him, his his own personal fears. It wasn’t because he was scared of being so overwhelmed that he’d leave, or something like that, he was just scared that he’d make a terrible parent. Interacting with other people’s kids was different than raising your own. With your own, you were responsible for guiding them and making them into the best person. What if he wasn’t able to do that? No, it wasn’t if he was able to do that. He wasn’t by himself. He wasn’t raising this baby on his own. Why did he feel like he was so utterly alone? He wasn’t. Not even close!
Finn took another deep sigh, running his hand down his face slowly as he tried to collect his thoughts. Groaning, he dropped his hand into his lap and looked at her. His tears had dried and his demeanor was calm. Taking a deep breath, he held it for a few seconds before releasing it. He refused to lose his wife. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to her. “You’re absolutely right. I’m the only one to blame for everything that’s happened between us. I’ve been shutting everyone out, including you, when I should have been doing the exact opposite. I didn’t want you to to be unhappy anymore and in doing so, I became the very cause of your unhappiness. I let someone else take my place when it should have been me there. I began to forget all the things that made my life happy. Just being around you makes me happy, and by isolating myself from you, I forgot that.”
“I let this...This fog of fear, doubt and despair cloud my vision of all the good things in my life. But that’s no excuse. If I had a problem with anything, I should have come to you and told you so we could work on it together. Instead, even though I’ve been saying we’re a pair, I’ve been acting on my own. It was wrong of me and I see that now. I see how so stupid I’ve been, granted it shouldn’t have taken this long, but I do see it. I’ve been unsupportive, neglectful and pretty much telling you what to do. That’s not how things should be, how I should be. We both know I’m not that kind of person, but suddenly I’ve become that way simply because I’ve been depressed and scared. Again, it’s no excuse. Everything should have taken a backseat to us, you, our baby, but I was stupid and naive and put them first.”
“But I will tell you this, I have never wanted to leave you. I don’t have it in me to abandon my family. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I ever did something like that. I’m not them, I never could be them. My parents raised me to be better than that, and I try to emulate everything that they couldn’t teach me...But all of these overwhelming things happening all at once, I guess I just let myself drown in them. I’ve never felt so...Scattered.”
“I’m scared everyday that you’ll get tired of giving up everything just to make me happy and I can’t even do that once for you. I want to be able to provide for you, for our family, but it feels like I can’t. Like my hard work for us is useless. I haven’t handled it well, I know. Leaving all the time, throwing myself into work, it was the worse things I could do; especially when you needed me. It was all poor choices on my part. I should have thought things through better. But I guess that’s what my problem had been, I haven’t been thinking.”
Finn sighed once more, and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it firmly but not enough to pull any strands out. He was letting himself be raw here. He had seen her lingering questioning gaze and so he decided that now, while they were talking everything out, he should just let it all free. No more holding anything in. No more making her question and wonder if he was there for her, or what he was thinking, or feeling. Raw and in color; so to speak.
“I’ve been a damn fool. A hypocrite. I’ve been thinking over these past weeks and I’ve seen everything I’ve done wrong…” he paused as he leaned in a little closer. “It should have been me and you, not just me. We are the Teagans, I truly believe that. I know that everything you’ve done was for not just me to be happy, but for us to be happy. I guess I just sorta...forgot. I let all this, stress and fear and depression get me down and drowning that it caused me to forget everything that makes me happy. And what makes me happy is being with you. I will fight for you, for us, for our happiness. I will never leave you, or our baby. I’m not the product of those people, but the parents that raised me. They raised me to love and cherish, and fight for those I love. I haven’t and there’s no excuse. I have some work to do to fix the way I’ve been, I know. And I promise, I will spend every waking moment, for the rest of our lives, until we’re grey haired, wrinkling and can’t walk anymore, fighting for you. I love you Aubrey Teagan, you make me the happiest man in the world and our baby makes me the happiest father in the world.”
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:55 pm
|
|
|
|
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Steady; Loving; Loved; Forgiving. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
As wrong as it was, it felt good for him to move away for once; as if he were taking a step back to look at the big picture all together instead of trying to mask it with that fake serenity that told him it was okay. None of this was okay… None of this had been okay. They had been living a life of fake joy and happiness in order to desperately cling to what the other was used to - the idea of Finn and Bree. They could not suffice the relationship that had been, that idea of oneness or ‘togetherness’ that marriage endowed. She could feel the couch vibrate with his quivering before he leapt from the cushion, bolting toward the kitchen as fast as he possibly could. And yet… She continued on, only feeling a small tad of anger relinquish and die down as her instinct of wanting to help him rush back to the forefront of her mind. But this time, she shoved it as hard as she could, struggling to get the idea of hiding the conversation back into the depths of the black abyss of loneliness. She knew she couldn’t. Not now. Not when they were so close at finally letting everything loose. There wouldn’t be the comfort of these make believe and invisible pillows so they could throw themselves at anything and everyone in order to not feel the recoil once they made a wrong move. This time… They would finish it.
Her hand fell from her face once more, tucking back between her thighs. And what would he do now? Would he decide that perhaps it really was time for him to leave and for them to “take a break”? Did he want to live a ‘single life’ for a week even though she knew he would do nothing of the sort while he was gone? If he did… She swallowed a painful lump in her throat. She had to take responsibility and know for a fact that she had opened the door for him to walk through. She couldn’t say he left on his own; though he did by his own accord. He had the option to open that door and close it behind him, or to close it with her on his side. Her throat failed in swallowing the second time, too soon from the first and leaving her with a sticky coating on the inside of her mouth. Of course, she had people to take care of her. Tyrese, as emotionally distraught as he was, would be more than willing. Dia was just down the street and she herself was a doctor after all. Gin… Gin was more Finn’s friend, but on the crazy chance if Dia and Tyrese weren’t available, she’d need someone to at least help her down the stairs to make food. Or make her food in general. She couldn’t be up constantly - even though she’d clearly try.
Even then, if he left and she did take her leave after he came back and didn’t want what he said he did, there was the thought of the baby. She’d have to give them everything she could while telling them at the same time that things just… Hadn’t worked out. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to tell their newborn child made with love that the bond to create her wasn’t strong enough to keep them together. It broke her heart both physically and emotionally to even think Finn wouldn’t be in her life for as long as she lived. And finally, he spoke. She listened quietly, intently, absolutely determined to find out everything that had been rolling through her husband’s thoughts. Her head dipped downward at times, curls hanging downwards to shield emotion before she would look back up. But this time… She didn’t feel as if it were everything she wanted to hear. She didn’t feel like he was only saying these things to get out of a situation. For the first time in weeks, it felt like she was talking to Finn. The real Finn. His mental being had uncurled from his shadowy corner and overtook his body once more to actually speak to her. She could understand him so clearly now, again. Of course he had every right to be scared. It didn’t take much for her to know he was downright terrified of having a child - but it was knowing they would be able to face the problem together as a unit that kept her strong throughout thinking of her pregnancy. After all, she was already eight weeks in. The clock was ticking.
Her lips thinned occasionally here and there, threatening to tug downward until her expression began to soften. ’Just being around you makes me happy.’ There was something about that single sentence that made her begin to… Well, truly forgive him. The elderly couple comment actually made her laugh - Laugh! Maybe not to the full extent of someone relaxed and happy again, but it was definitely something that felt good to do. It caught in her throat, her lips pressing together to form a smile that only widened and widened. Finn… This is what she wanted to hear. Not an apology for all of the wrong things - but to have him feel truly sorry for what he said. The aching in her rib had practically diminished, now nothing but silent, sore reminder of a physical pain. It told her she was alive and thriving. This wasn’t a hopeful dream in accordance with her frantic wishes on returning for normal. As harsh as it may have been, she wanted him to see that she was right. He could be worried. He could be afraid and find the thought of teaching someone from being a baby horrifying… But the point was, what he had done these last few weeks was wrong. She slid her hands forward, diving her palms onto the off white couch, pushing her weight into that cushion to slide her knees beneath her and clamber towards him.
No more… No more of this secret fighting inside in which they refused to let out. No more heart wrenching battles that finalized their mistakes in life. This was new. This was real. This was what marriage was. A combination of their problems to work them out as one. No longer were they separate entities like a child’s game in high school. She moved across the middle cushion, her petite frame dipping down in the back while her heart fluttered against her rib cage. Finn… This. This was Finn Teagan. ‘Stay with me… Stay with me this time.’ She wanted to beg to him. But instead, her body spoke the words for her, her hand raising from the couch, now pressed into the space below his thigh and coming onto his shoulder. Her opposite rested in a tight grip on the couch so as not to fall over on him, now on that one hand and knees. The electric jolt portrayed in that one touch snapped her eyes open, tensing every limb in her body to a standstill save for her head. It bobbed for a moment, hesitating and slowing to a snail’s pace before she tenderly pressed her lips against his. Her breathing stopped in that second, eyelids closing immediately, and toes curling before flattening out. Just like last night… Everything felt so new. Revitalized to repeat the process of falling in love once more.
And if… If that meant the true Finn was here to stay... Then she wasn't going anywhere.
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:57 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
POP! Superman ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
He waited. And waited. And waited after he had finally finished speaking. He could hear the echo of a small bit of laughter. How he was able to make her laugh at this particular moment, he didn’t know, but that was a good thing...Right? His gaze dropped somewhere in his explanation of how dumb he had been, and nervously, it drifted up to look at her. He was terrified that he hadn’t worded things right and she would still be furious at him. He really wouldn’t know what to do with himself if they split up. It had always been Finn and Bree. Even back in high school, after they became a couple, all those years without her seemed impossible. It baffled him how he was able to go sixteen years without ever knowing her and having her in his life. And now that she was...He not only couldn’t see it without her, but there was absolutely no one in the world that he could see himself with but her. He knew he was the sappy romantic type when it came to Bree, but it was something that just kind of, came out of him. It wasn’t that he tried to be romantic, and thought of all the corny things he had ever said, they just flowed from him. Like he told her in high school, it was as natural as breathing to him.
As his eyes fell upon her, he blinked as he watched her crawl to him almost like a frantic monkey running from a predator. Even in his bewilderment at her movements, not entirely sure if he was going to be beaten or hugged, he didn’t move an inch. He waited, feeling a dip in the cushions where her hand and knees made contact and the touch of her hands against his shoulder. It wasn’t tight, firm or angry; in fact it was the opposite. It was almost...Pleading. The sensation made goosebumps rise on his skin and travel down his body for a split second before disappearing. Only her touch could do such things to him, even if she was mad at him.
He could feel the blood pumping in his ears, drowning out all sound that may have been happening around them. His heart was beating wildly, and nervously, in his chest, still unsure was what she was going to do to him. He meant every word he said, even if he hadn’t phrased everything right. Or, at least he didn’t think he had. That was, until he felt her lips against his. The world suddenly stopped. His eyes were still open, widened in surprise at the action for a good few seconds before closing. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him tightly; only remembering right after of her injuring and loosening his grip so he didn’t hurt her. Pressing his lips against hers, he felt his lips tug into a smile against hers. It was a smile of pure bliss, love and happiness. His arms pulled her in close, feeling her bare chest against his and an involuntary pleasing shudder rip through him. There was no reason for her to be so far away from him. She was the one to initiate and he was the one to deepen.
He sucked tenderly on her bottom lip before slowly parting for the intake of air. This was her way of telling him she forgave him right? She hadn’t said a word and that was possibly what scared him the most. Was this possibly a kiss goodbye? Please. Oh please! Don’t let this be goodbye. He wouldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle it. The rays of the sun couldn’t compare to the brightness that is Bree. She was his sunshine. She was the rain that pattered against the window and brought life to the earth. The air the filled his lungs. If she were to leave him, he would be without air; unable to breathe. The ground with which he walk would be dead and the skies above him would be dark and grey. She was the one that kept him going. Without her he’d still be sitting in a chair with nothing but a look of utter defeat on his face, unable to move an inch. She was the one that kept him moving. He went to work everyday, not for himself, but for her. It was so she could have a life that was as good as the one they once had in Calico. Calico was a time in their lives that everything was perfect and going their way. This was a new chapter and he didn’t want to lose her just when it was starting.
They were starting a brand new chapter. They were about to have a baby! Sure they still had a few months, but still! A baby. They had created a brand new person and even still in development, he did truly love it. Even if he didn’t know the sex of their baby, that didn’t matter to him, he still loved it. He truly was happy to have this baby with her and there was no way he could ever think about leaving her. Making her a single mother because he was afraid? That most definitely wasn’t like him. He loved that tiny person too much despite his fears. And it wasn’t much about if he’d turn out like his parents, it was if he would screw up as a parent simply on his accord. Talking with children for about five minutes a day didn’t amount to teaching them how to be a person. How to act, behave and nurturing them into their very own person. They had the help of her parents sure, but that didn’t ease his fears.
Slowly his hands slipped down her back, resting them onto her hips as he looked into her eyes. Deeply studying the swirling purple in her eyes, he couldn’t help the smile that had once been happy to feel her lips against his, slowly turn into an apprehensive curl that tugged at the corner of his lips. This was her way of accepting his apology correct? He wanted to ask, but was afraid of possibly ruining the moment. His right hand slid along her skin lightly, the callouses on his hand barely touching her smooth, velvet skin as it moved up her side, over her shoulder and cupped her cheek tenderly. Brushing his thumb along her cheek, he hesitated as he leaned back in to kiss her lips once again. He needed to taste her kisses, her love. She was the very beat of his heart. His left hand left her back as well to cup her other cheek, holding her face gently in his hands as he kissed her again. As he pulled away slowly, he ran a thumb along her sweet as candy lips, still tasting a mixture of the rock candy and spicy chicken.
“You were made for me Aubrey Teagan. There is no one else in this world that is better for me, or even close to being perfect for me as you are. There is no one else in this world I love more than you...Except for maybe when our baby is born, but then I will simply love the both of you,” he whispered, nervously chewing on his lip at every pause in his words. “I love you so much.”
Scooting down the couch a little, he continued to hold onto her, hopefully taking her down with him. Staring up into her eyes as he rested his head against the arm of the couch, he allowed himself to be lost in her gaze. Not saying another word. Slowly reaching over, he grabbed the remote off the table and turned off the movie that was almost over without either of them actually watching it anyways. Bringing his hand back to her smooth skin, he ran his hand down her side and slid it along her back. His golden eyes blinked slowly, this was mentally taxing and it was taking it’s toll on him. He was beginning to get tired. Fighting with his wife...He hated doing it even when they were small, insignificant fights. He knew couples had their fights about things, it was normal, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it.
“It’s late, we should get to bed…” he muttered hoarsely as he ran a hand along her curls. He knew it was such a bad way to change the subject, but it was very late. Very, very late. She needed her rest, and he did as well; her more so. He didn’t mind sleeping on the couch tonight, or taking her up to their room, whichever would be comfortable for her.
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:58 pm
|
|
|
|
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Steady; Loved. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
Her gentle grip against his shoulder didn’t last long as it slid against his chest, down his left pectoral and back to the center where they separated with a slight dip in his skin. She hadn’t been quick to come to him - reflecting more of a curious if not bold animal approaching a new and foreign object for the first time; yet she hadn’t separated her lips from his by a long shot even with his sudden grip surrounding her. It was as desperate as her attitude had been, begging for every part of her to stay in his arms just as she had cried for his emotional and mental being to stay with her. Her tongue fell against the threshold of his lip, slowly asking for entrance and running it against the inside bend. Her eyes rolled downward beneath her eyelids, her head twisting to the side as her curls followed along. Nnn… She couldn’t let this only be a kiss - the taste and smell of him again were driving her absolutely insane with that specific want of being around him again. She wanted to be Mrs. Teagan again… Settling on the side of the beach while he stared over her with that golden gaze as she would ask what he’s looking at. He would simply shake his head or mutter a cheesy line of how he could possibly be with the hottest girl on the beach. And she would only laugh and shake her head, brushing a bit of sand at his leg.
If only she could have that sunshine back in her life… Her legs fell over him to fall into his lap, the other arm raising from the couch to settle against his abdomen in a slight loving, grazing motion. The smile on his lips only made her feel that much better about it. Her heart gave a feeble pound against her chest in happiness, clattering painfully against her ribcage and making her hiss against his lips before pushing back in again. She could fight through this physical pain - it was nothing with the prize waiting on the end of the string. Just to feel his arms around her, holding her close and cherishing her every touch and taste… She was a fool for him. Everything was warm and fuzzy when she was around… She brushed her tongue back inside of his mouth, slowly allowing it to trail beneath his, lingering and pulling it back towards her mouth if he would let her. Now, God willing, they could be a real family again - the married couple they had started out as in the beginning. She exhaled, her breath fanning just below his nostrils whilst hers flared in response. That same electric feeling took over, making her lock her arms back around his neck and fondle the follicles of hair that lay on the back of his head. Whatever this was, whatever this had started as, she didn’t want it to end. She didn’t want any of him to be away from her anymore. She had grown tired of fighting him - of pushing him in the right direction over and over. She didn’t marry to ‘fix’ someone… She married him because she loved exactly who she was; and that person had seemingly decided to hide away from the world to blame his problems on everyone else.
Her head fell back, her eyes now partially closing to catch him studying them like newfound fossils. The intention made her blush, unable to turn away from that heavy face. It wasn’t as if she wanted to, but every part of her screamed that her face was beating with that heavy blush only he could seem to bring on to her. With a hard swallow, she brought one of his hands up her side, slipping past the tight ravel of bandages and up towards her face where she pressed it against her cheek. It was hot to the touch, falling warm against his fingertips as she turned her head to the side to kiss the center of his palm. ”I love you too, Finn Teagan…” She began in a faint whisper. ”As long as you’re with me… There’s no place I’d rather be.” Her eyes fell closed once more, running butterfly kisses along his fingertips. It was the main reason of her telling him the lyrics were for him. It was her feelings in their purest form - in a way that his musical abilities would understand. That would always remain true so long as he was here for her. She was right. This wasn’t some ‘you weren’t there for me, so I won’t be there for you’ method. This was marriage; where they were always there for each other through thick and thin. In sickness and in health. She quieted for a few moments, only remembering to breathe at the feeling of his body carry her downwards against him. She stared back with dazzling purple eyes, not wanting to break the sacred bond being formed at this point.
His hand fell against her back, dragging down with calloused fingertips until she dragged her gaze away from him. Turning her cheek to the side, she settled the crest of her ear against his chest, listening to the heavy strum of his heartbeat pounding against her ear - comforting her to sleep as it usually did. It wasn’t long before the petite, pregnant woman was falling into the streams of the dark abyss; floral dreams replacing real life nightmares.
I love you, Finn…
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 4:47 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 9:47 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
Towel ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
Under the rays of the sun, Finn rolled over in bed, draping an arm over Bree’s waist and groaning softly. They were shining right on to his eyes, causing him to squeeze his eyes closed tighter and try to bury his face away from the sun. He was exhausted after last night. Exposing everything and having such a deep heart-to-heart was taxing. Not that he didn’t mind doing, but it took a mental toll on him and all he wanted to do was sleep the day away. As he nuzzled his face into what he thought was his pillow, he felt warm fuzz against his skin. Slowly, one eye cracked open to see a body full of grey fur in his face. Dime was apparently laying on their pillows, curled up between the both of them and right in his face. At some point in the night, he must have carried them to bed, because he remembered falling asleep on the couch. With a deadpanned expression, full of sleep, Finn stared at their cat for a long few second before blinking slowly. His blurry focus could see his wife sleeping soundly across from him and of course the able body of the grey feline in his face. With a long, deep exhale through his nose, he brought his hand up that was wrapped around Bree, and rubbed one eye before running down his face. At least the sun was out today. Slowly rolling back onto his back, Finn stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes to let his body wake up enough to pull himself out of bed. When he was collected enough, the brunette sat up and pushed himself to his feet; still in the pajama pants from the night before. He needed to wake up completely. And after two days of not showering, he desperately needed one. And this white was starting to annoy him. He actually missed his honey colored locks, and he knew Bree missed them. It was one of the things she liked about him. And to have this white for two days must be annoying to look at; it was for him. Scratching along his abs, he yawned and shuffled his way to the bathroom to start a shower. Pulling out a towel out and setting it on the metal hook on the wall opposite the shower, he meandered over to the door to close it so not to wake his wife and walked back over to turn on the shower. Leaning against the wall lazily, he stuck his hand under the massaging showerhead and waited for the water to warm up before throwing off his pants. He kicked them aside so they wouldn’t get wet from the lack of shower door or curtain, and stepped under the water. Sighing heavily at the warm water, he instantly began running his hands through his hair to work on getting the white spray painted dye out of his hair. It wouldn’t take much effort, but he wanted to make sure all of it was gone! Reaching out with one hand, he pressed it against the wall under the showerhead and hung his head; watching the water drip off his nose and chin. His thoughts wandered aimlessly for what seemed like an eternity. On his actions, last night, over the past few weeks...He felt sick all over again. Sighing, he dropped his hand from the wall and grabbed his soap. Staring down at the black bottle, he thought over how this was Bree’s favorite. It’s why, even to this day, he still bought it. The same went for his shampoo. Now, it was just habit instead of thought. When he was in high school, he actually thought about buying it because he wanted to make sure Bree curled around him like monkey as much as possible. After so long, it was an after thought, throwing it into the basket without even thinking. Blinking slowly, he turned his gaze away and grabbed the luffa to scrub himself down and wash off the soap before turning his attention to his hair. There couldn’t be a spec of white left. If he saw any, he might just go mad. Scraping his nails against his scalp to lather in the 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, he scrunched up his face a little. When he was finished, he rinsed, repeated once more and rinsed again. Turning off the water, he grabbed the towel and ran it through his hair a few times to dry it enough that water wasn’t dripping into his face. Wrapping the towel around his hips, he walked out into their room and grabbed his guitar that was still leaning against his side of the bed. He stopped and glanced over to his wife. Leaning over the bed, he placed a light kiss upon her cheek before rubbing his hand over Dime’s head and walking out. Meandering down the stairs, he made his way into the living room and set his guitar against the couch as he moved into the kitchen. He pulled out everything he’d need to make breakfast and set out a glass of water and a pain pill for Bree so she could take it when she got up. Turning on the stove, he set a few skillets over the flames and began making a late breakfast for them. Nothing fancy, just pancakes, eggs, potatoes and bacon. It took him a good hour to get everything mixed and cooked before he set everything out on their own plates, including setting out a plate and fork for her, piled with food for her to eat. Walking back into the living room, he sat on the couch, adjusting his guitar on his lap before beginning to strum his fingers along the chords. Closing his golden eyes, he parted lips and began singing, letting everything else that had been weighing down on his mind go and losing himself into the music. His foot tapped against the floor along with the beat, almost as if a percussion beat was being added to it. Still waiting for his wife to wake up, it was nearing noon after he had finished cooking and began playing his song. Hopefully she’d be up for his idea for the day, even if they’d have to push it back a few hours.
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 1:00 am
|
|
|
|
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Quiet; Sleep-ridden. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
Aubrey remained curled in her spot, her arms tucked tight beneath her chest - even if she wasn’t really supposed to sleep that way. The pain in the lower area of her ribcage had disappeared in her slumber, only leaving a throbbing reminder that she would wake up sometime soon in the current life. Everything around her remained unnoticed, closed to the sleeping brunette’s senses save for the occasional flinch from Dime’s purring and Finn’s shifting. But otherwise, she remained dead asleep. The sunlight fell and shifted over her still form, illuminating the dark crevices of the bedding that she had managed to entangle around her legs without quite meaning to. It was an hour or two before she awoke after him, opening her eyes slowly to adjust to the light around her. Eugh… God, she felt like a damn rock. A weak, empty rock that only had the weight of its body to tie it to the ground - and not in a good way. Lifting her head from the bedding, she studied down the pillow and over to the supposed sleeping spot of her husband - who wasn’t there. Her palms pushed into the bedding, sniffing at the wave of faint man soap that she could detect. He didn’t shower and go to work, did he? She chewed on her lip, glancing over at the sleeping kitten next to her. Great. Everything said last night - in one ear and right out the othe-
Her head perked up and away from her pillow, the tears that had only begun forming suckling back up into their ducts. Was that the end of a guitar string she heard…? Something ending in one final note down the stairs a ways away. Slowly she rose into a sitting position, pushing her bottom back into her calves to look around the room. The sun was bright against the curtains, her lips parting in thought as she glanced over to the bathroom. A small part of her squealed with excitement to finally see those normal honey brown locks she adored so damn much; they weren’t like other people’s naturally brown hair. These were sweet and made her want to ravel her hand through them over and over again - which she made sure to do each and every time she got intimate with him. Her shoulders ruptured in a small shudder, glancing into the bathroom. She needed to get up… Especially if she wanted to make it down to whatever that smell was. Cold or not, her appetite had returned - and hopefully for good. No more feeling like she’d throw up just looking at food that hadn’t even digested. Sadly, there was no way she’d be able to revive the spicey chicken, but pancakes always sounded good… Just pancakes. No eggs. Maybe potatoes… She wanted something sticky that would make her feel full after just a few bites even though she’d clearly keep eating.
Her leg slid sideways, pushing off of the side of the bed and slightly stumbling onto the wooden floor, off of the carpet that the big bed sat on. God… She was way too weak to be moving around on her own right now - but with him downstairs, she had to try. Her fingers felt along the bedside, gripping the edges of the sheets and over towards the opposite bedpost. If she could at least brush her damn teeth and put deodorant on… She’d could just slide down the stairs on her bottom or something. She sighed, huffing and pushing a curl out of her way with her exhaled breath. Damn it. Her teeth grit, jaw clenching down at the sudden pain of her rib. ********- A faint cry escaped her lips, every piece of strength she had left trying to ignore the damn thing. Just… It seemed like hours before she had finally managed to reach the bathroom, brush her teeth, and wash her face from last night’s threatening tears. Dragging herself from the olive colored room, she stepped out of the bedroom and down the hallway, only making it to the top of the stairs before opening her mouth to speak. It felt dry, sticky, but she felt that heavy sense of relief just to see the top of her husband’s head; especially with its natural color. A faint sing song voice began at the top of the stairs, eyes darting back towards the bottom of the stairs. It felt so far away…
”Mr. Cowboy… Can you help me up here…?”
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:36 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
Towel ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
With his voice drifting off into obscurity with the end of the song, he slowly stopped his strumming before exhaling a deep breath and resting his hand atop his guitar. Glancing at the cable box for the time, he wondered just how long Bree was planning on sleeping in. He didn’t mind it, they had a long exhausting night, but jeeze! Not seconds later of thinking that, he sat up straighter to the sound of her voice. Swiveling around to look over his shoulder at her, he smiled up at her with his boyish charm. Mr. Cowboy, huh? Finn chuckled softly to himself as he set his guitar down, propped up against the couch, and stood up still in nothing but the towel from his shower. “Yeah, I suppose I could do that for you,” he replied as he stepped around the couch and made his way towards the stairs. Taking the first step up the stairs, his knee popped softly but not enough to cause him any pain. Climbing the stairs, he reached out his hand for hers. “This way milady~ Breakfast and pain pills await you in the kitchen, so I hope you have an appetite,” he said as his fingers curled around her hand and his smile never wavering.
Looking her over, still in the panties from the night before, his golden eyes fluttered as his boyish smile slowly inched into a more rugged and devious one. God he loved the sight of her ivory skin in the sunlight. It looked better by the flickering flames of a fire, but he wouldn’t be picky. Either way, both of them were technically naked under their coverings and the idea swirled around in his head to have his way with her. It was doubtful she’d object, but first things first. He knew she needed to eat with the day already more than half way over. She slept in far later than he expected. Hopefully she was hungry enough to eat at least some of the food he had made. All that food would otherwise go to waste because he wasn’t going to eat it. Well, he might eat some of it; he was slowly starting to get hungry. It was a slow process, but it was happening.
Glancing over his shoulder at the stairs, to make sure he didn’t trip and have them both go tumbling down, he slowly took a step down. Making sure to place himself close enough to catch her if she stumbled, but not enough to impede her progress down, Finn held onto her firmly. It would be disastrous if she went tripping her way down the stairs. And at a weeks, something could happen to their baby. It was better if he stand in the way that way he’d take the brunt of any damage, should any occur. He was just looking out for his family. One life and death scare was enough for the brunette to handle for a lifetime.
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:17 am
|
|
|
|
⊙〖OOC: -- ⊙ Today's Outfit: Pretty Much Naked. ⊙ Feeling: Quiet; Loved. ⊙ Money: $1059.50〗⊙
( ♬ But I think my mistakes became the chemistry for my miracles... • )
Her head perked up at the sight of his eyes on her - like a Meerkat spotted on its tall perch. Her hands fell against her legs, intertwining her fingers together so they settled delicately on the inside of her thigh. Every time... Her heart gave a smart pound against her chest, initiating a slight cringe and a grip to the bottom of her rib cage. The bandages shifted beneath her fingertips, her eyes darting down to the ground as she grimaced. It was getting worse... And it probably had to do that she had practically done nothing but sleep, bathe, and worry ever since it happened. To think... It had only been three days since it happened. The entire week itself felt like a whirlwind of hurt and heartbreak overall - which only made her think back to what Tyrese might be doing right now; utterly alone unlike her. She had Finn - hopefully. If he would stay this time. She turned her head, glancing down at his towel with a faint blush. F-Finn... As much as it didn't want to be the first thing on her mind, she couldn't help at all take a slight glance downward towards his covered waistline. But... She lifted her hand slowly from her rib to touch the ends of his hair. Honey brunette... Just how she liked it.
Her opposite rose from its tucked position of her thigh to take his hand, weakly taking that first step down. Her curls bounced around her face, slightly curtaining her expression of embarrassed stumbling. She had completely missed the smile he was giving her, her swirling eyes directing themselves to her feet to carefully move down the flight of stairs. Everything seemed so fragile now; as if she could take one step and practically fly off - almost killing herself in the process. But as his grip tightened around her waist, the corner of her mouth couldn't help but turn up in a tiny, comforting smile. A-As long as he was still here, as the Finn Teagan she knew, there was no possibility of her falling again both physically and mentally. "That sounds nice..." She whispered, pressing her temple against the bridge of his shoulder. She could smell the ends of the fire burning out from last night, bringing back a slight distraught taste of emotions with it. Last night had been everything they needed, even if it ended up being in a way that they couldn't handle. But at least it was over - the deed was done and everything had been released. And strangely... She didn't feel the slightest bit guilty about it. Typically she'd have to wonder if she was hard on him, but there was nothing stopping her this time.
"Did uhm..." She swallowed the sticky feeling in her throat. "Did you make p-pancakes...?" She croaked, turning her face upright to peek up at him.
( • ... And I think that my tests became my testimonies. ♬ ) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 1:05 pm
|
|
|
|
ＦINN ＴEAGAN ______________________________
Towel ║ Married ║ Human║ 21 ║ Sucre's Owner ║ $871.70
◜ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ╮
Feeling her her skin press against his, he exhaled a soft breath. She was a little quieter than usual and while it did unnerve him slightly, it could also be because she not only just woke up, but might be in pain. He had mornings like that as well. Waking up to the pain of a sore body part coupled with sleep. It was mornings like those that he just wanted to stay in bed and curl up with his unusually cold wife. Now, he actually could do that; thankfully. While he didn’t have them as often anymore, mostly used to the pain after all these years, when they did happen he could readily curl up with Bree and just enjoy a day in bed. His smile slowly turned into a more loving one as he looked down at her, his hand giving her waist a gentle squeeze. “Yes, I did. Your plate is already waiting for you,” he replied with the tiniest of chuckles, and giving her lips a quick peck. Turning his attention back to their journey down the stairs, he carefully watched his footing until they finally reached the base. Golden eyes drifted over to his lonely guitar a moment before turning back to the brown curls of his wife’s head. “There’s juice and a pill already set out for you to take also,” he added as he directed her towards the kitchen. Letting go of her slowly, he brought his hands up as if he was trying to prop something up against the counter and silently asking it not to fall over as he began backing away and moving towards the living room. Since it was down here, along with her, he might as well make her smile with a little with a bit of playing. He wouldn’t ever play in front of anyone else but her. It was just something that made him a little nervous; kind of like stage fright. Ironic since he wanted to go into professional basketball. Grabbing his guitar from it’s propped position against the couch, he brought it up against his abdomen and strummed his fingers down the chords once; getting a feel for the sound. Pushing his lips to one side, he directed his gaze down to the instrument and began tuning it just a little to make sure he got the right sounds. Nodding to himself, happy with the right sound he had found, his fingers danced along the strings. He had the best song...Well, one of the best songs ever. One that played to his ridiculously playful attitude. Unable to hold back his grin, it spread from ear to ear as he began singing.
◟ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ✖ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ◞
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
