Lines You'll Never Hear

[Missing00]

((hey Nospai, you insipred me to write this!))

Vader: (In egg thing) Ahh finnally alone at last. Im away from those admirals, and troopers, and Palpatine. Now I can do what I want whenever!

later

Vader: Ahh oug haug ehh ahh ohh auuugh. Lost again Damn you Missing nin itachi!!!!!!
me sad on x-box live) heh heh this "LORD VADER" guy sucks at halo 2. I can pwn his a** all day.  

[Nospai Deathous]

con't
Suddenly, a EWKWWW01 enters, and pwns everyone.

Wicket W. Warrick, on his XBox, hoots in his native tongue.  

[Mademoiselle Kit]

Luke: What is it?

Obi-Wan: It's your fathers lightsaber.

*Luke lights it, starts cracking up*

Obi-wan: What's so funny?

Luke: Now I can to to Mos Eisley and see how many chicks dig my long saber!  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Vader: HAHA!!! I AM THE MOST RESPECTE-
Luke takes off his helmet.
Luke: Holy bantha! It's-
Watto: Yeah, that's right,eh! Luke....I am your father, eh?  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: I enjoy long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, and I prefer to keep the passion alive in a relationship.

( Stormie walks in )

Stormie: ( mockingly ) Oooooo! Big Bad Sith Man likes to get cuddly! Can I have a huggy wuggy?
Vader: ... Why yes! C'mere! * hugs the stormie *
Palpy: ( was watching ) And people think " I " have problems...  

[AFK Masturbating]

Vader: What is thy bidding, master?

Palpy: I'll have a whopper with no pickles ... and APPLE PIE!!  

[Darkened Angel]

(( Inspiration strikes! * cue lightning * ))

Vader: Okay, I'm back from Endor's!
Group of stormies: Yay!
Vader: Okay, we got an Endor Supreme and fries...
Stormie 1: That's mine!
Vader: ... A Rear Endor? What the Hell kinda name is that? Anyways, that and a cola...
Stormie 2: Mine!
Vader: ... An SD-sized Endor shake...
Stormie 3: That's for me!
Vader: ... And a kid's meal with an extra order of Enduggets.
Palpy: That's mine!

( Moments pass as they begin to chow down. )

Palpy: Hey! They forgot the little toy in my meal!
Vader: They did? ... No wait, here it is. It must've fallen into the big bag.
Palpy: Awesome! * presses the button on his own talking action figure toy *
Toy Palpy: My name is Palpy, and I am an ugly-a** douche bag. HEEHEE!
Palpy: THOSE BASTARDS! ADMIRAL, PREPARE THE DEATH STAR! TARGET ENDOR!
Admiral: Armed and ready, Emperor.
Palpy: FIRE!
Toy Palpy: I like to sniff Vader's panties!
Palpy: SHUT UP! * throws toy at the wall, it doesn't break *
Toy Palpy: Ouch, that hurt, you butt-licker!
Palpy: * grumbles * Vader, kill it!
Vader: Yes, my ... ugly-a** douche bag! HAHAHA!!!!
Group of stormies: HAHAHAHA!!!!
Palpy: WHAAAA! crying  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Cont.

(on endor)

Wicket: Someone set up us the Death star.

Drunk, stoned ewok: Wee Ghet Zeegnal.

Palpy:You give toy bad voice palpy dude.

Wicket:You talk funny.

Ewok: What you talkin bout, wicket?

Palpy: Still here is me. for refund you give me blast you death.

Wicket: Why voice ours funny sound? Oh.
*he unplugs something*
Damn dobly surround sound sith.o ... YOU OWE US A REFUND!!

Palpy:YOU OWE ME A REFUND!!

Jar Jar: Heresa come Episode 7!

GL: You read my script you lovable lug!!

Palpy: You slept with jar jar again?

GL: .......Yup.....  

[Uncle Choco]

**doorbell rings at the Death Star**

Palpy: I'll get it *answers door*

Carson: You must be Palpy! You're shorter in real life

Jai: Big place you got here.

Thom: Ugh, but look at these decorations. Looks like leftovers from the 1970s!

Carson: I know, right? And just look at Palpy's ensemble: you need to add some color to your wardrobe. All-black is soooo last season.

Kyan: And do something about his face! I can tell you don't moisturize.

Palpy: Who the hell are you all?!

Ted: You know, the guys from Queer Eye. You wanted us to make you over.

Kyan: Or did you forget?

Palpy: I never asked you all to be made over!! I don't even know.......wait a second.........VADER!!!!!!! scream  

[Darkened Angel]

A few days after the Queer Eye guys, Palpy has his revenge.

Imp Officer: Lord Vader, our expected guests have just entered the Executor's hangar.
Vader: Excellent. Let us greet them and show them the 1st class treatment so I can win that " Classiest Sith Lord " award.

* Vader and a few Imps go to the hangar to greet their guests *

Dexter: Ah, this ship looks to be in excellent condition, Mr. Vader. You must take pride in keeping it so-* watch beeps * Oh, sorry, I have to go home for something urgent, but would continue to show my sister around?
Vader: Sure.
Dexter: Oh, Deedee! The black-armored man wants to show you around! * leaves *
Deedee: * comes running * WOOOOOW! This place is SOOOOO cool! What's with the black suit? What are those buttons on it? WHAT DO THEY DO? WHAT DO THEY DO?
Vader: Uh, nothing important. Say, you wanna see the bridge?
Deedee: Ooooo! Sounds fun! Let's go!
Vader: * arrives at the bridge with Deedee * Behold! The command center of this massive star destroyer!
Deedee: Ooooo! What does THIS button do? * pushes random button, causes the Executor to fire all turrets in random directions *
Vader: Please don't touch the-
Deedee: This is fun! * pushes more random buttons, causing the Executor to do random things *
Vader: Stop!
Deedee: Hahahaha! * imitates plane noises while messing with the flight controls *
Vader: STOP!
Deedee: Ooooo! What does THIS button do? * pushes the big red button *
Executor computer: This ship will self destruct in 5 minutes.
Vader: Who's idea was it to... PALPY! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!  

[Nelowulf]

Vader and Palpy in an undisclosed Bennigans...

P:Say man,

V:What's that boy?

P:I want to tell you 'bout your girlfriend,

V:What about my girl?

P:Well, you don't look strong enough to take the message,

V:I'm strong enough,

P:I might hurt your feelings,

V:My feelings are already hurt by being here with you,

P:Well, I was walking down the street with your girl the other day,

V:Ah-ha,

P:And the wind was blowin' real hard,

V:Is that right?

P:And the wind blew her hair into my face,

V:Ah-ha,

P:You know what else happened?

V:What happened?

P:The wind blew her hair into her face,

V:Yeh?

P:And we went a little further; you wanna hear the rest of it?

V:I might as well,

P:The wind blew her hair into the street!

V: Ok; since you told me about my girl, I'm gonna tell you about yours. I was
walking down the street with your girl,

P:Yes?

V:I took her home, for a drink, you know,

P:Took her home?

V:Yeh, jus' for a drink,

P: Oh,

V:But that chick looked so ugly, she had to sneak up on the glass to get a drink of
water!

P:You've got the nerve to call somebody ugly; why you so ugly the stork that
brought you in the world oughta be arrested!

V:That's alright; my momma didn't have to put a sheet on my head so sleep could slip up on me!

P:Look-a here!

V:What's that?

P:Where are you from?

V: Outer Rim

P:What's that?

V: Outer Rim

P:You don't look like no Outer Rimian to me,

V:I'm still from the Outer Rim,

P:What part?

V: Out Mos Eisley!

P:Where are your workin' boots at?

V:I've got 'em on,

P:Those aren't no boots you got on; those broguettes!

V:Hey, look-a here!

P:I've bin tryin' to figure out what you is,

V:I already figured out what YOU is!

P:What's that?

V:You that thing I throw peanuts at!

P:Look-a here!

V:What's that?

P:You should be ashamed of yourself,

V:Why?

P:Calling people ugly,

V:I didn't call you ugly,

P:What you say?

V:I said you was ruined, that's all!

P:You know somethin'?

V:What?

P:You look like you've bin whooped with a ugly-stick!

V:Hey! I ain't got nothin' to do with it, but I beat the fellah right...!  

[Nospai Deathous]

((Nelo: XD ))  

[Missing00]

Nelo. That was long and pointless. No dinner for you.

Vader: Ya know, these storm troopers all have strange real names.
Palpy: Really?
Vader: Yes, ya know just last week we had the the Imperial base ball game and who was on first.
Palpy: I dont know who was on first?
Vader: Thats right.
Palpy: What?
Vader: No what was on third.
Palpy: Now who was on third?
Vader: No Who was on first, What was on third.
Palply: I dont know.
Vader: He's on second.
Palpy: well then who's the catcher?
Both: Beats me!

Good night folks Ill be here all week!  

[Nelowulf]

(( And you, discracing the oldie... no free drinks for you! ))  

[Missing00]

awwww