[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki shrugged when his mother said that she might be able to help. He didn't know what was wrong and it was his mind, he didn't see how she would find the problem. When she continued to say that he should get back into the bed he looked up to it his face showing how unsure he was of things. When she moved away and Skadi moved forward after the pleading look from Frigga he allowed himself to be picked up and placed back on the bed. Skadi however frowned at how easy it had been to pick the god up, he knew the man was not the right weight to be carrying children or even the right weight to be healthy. Loki allowed himself to be settled and made comfortable his eyes remaining on Tony until his mother took his hands on hers pulling his ruby gaze back to hers. He shrugged to her question of help. *Minefield...* he murmured.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Frigga smiled slightly at Loki’s warning. “My dear, you underestimate me.” She said gently, slowly squeezing his hands. Glancing at Skadi, she gave him a meaningful look, eyes darting to Tony, hoping that he would get the message. Tony needed to be woken. He might prove to be of some help. Looking back at Loki, she took a slow breath. “Let’s see what we can do.” She murmured, closing her eyes and slowly reaching into Loki’s mind. Being as careful and as gentle as she could, she waited for Loki to let her in.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki frowned when his mother said that he underestimated her, he didn't think he was though when he was tripping over said mines himself. Still he considered letting her into his mind once more, it was really no better than it had been and now he had caused something wrong. Something of course that seemed to hinder him more than needed. When she told him that they should see what they could do and then reached into his mind he shivered. He hesitated to let her in but after a moment he did. However he didn't think he would ever get used to having someone else in his mind. At least someone else besides Tony, Tony in his mind just felt right. When Frigga completely entered his mind Loki stood in the center of his mind looking helpless as the castle around him looked no better off and the memories moved in whatever way they pleased. There were of course spots that looked like that had been worked on but it seemed so small in comparisson to the whole thing.

Skadi watched after Frigga had settled Loki and tried to convince him to let her back into his mind. When she glanced at him with a meaningful look before darting a glance to Tony he gave a subtle nod. He would wake Tony as soon as Loki and Frigga seemed occupied. As soon as they were he did just that moving to the other side of the bed. "Anthony you are needed." Skadi urged shaking the man's shoulder to wake him.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony frowned as someone touched him and spoke his name. It took a moment, but sleep fell away and he stiffened, eyes snapping open, only aware enough to know someone strange was trying to wake him….and that he didn’t remember sleeping. Blinking at Skadi, his eyes darted around the room until he saw Frigga and Loki in what seemed to be a trance, clearly in one of their minds. “What….What’s going on?” he asked gruffly.

Frigga let Loki take his time in allowing her in. Looking around, she couldn’t hide her sadness at the state of Loki’s mind. Loki had been so skilled at creating a mind palace. His mind had been beautiful. Looking to Loki, she slowly came over. “Perhaps you’ll show me what you were doing when this accident happened?” she suggested gently. Perhaps they could figure out what happened there. But she was suspecting that this had more to do with the bond than some other problem.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Skadi held up his hands in a peace gesture as Tony woke. "Peace Anthony, the queen asked me to wake you. She thought you were needed. Loki seems to be having trouble. She has entered his mind to try and help him but I fear she needs your help. He was quite reluctant to let her in despite the issue we came upon." Skadi explained.

Loki saw the sadness from his mother and felt a bit of shame well up. He thought that perhaps he should have more fixed by now. Memories began to move in a more agitated fashion and loki glanced at them warily. Many of the memories closest to him were dark ones. When she asked him to show him what he had been doing before the accident happened he nodded and moved to the wall that looked like it had been worked on. Almost as soon as he was near the spot a memory darted out towards him and loki flinched back away from it. It was one of the darker memories and not one he wished to relive again.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes, trying to chase off the tiredness that still tugged at him. “What’s-what’s wrong with him?” he asked slowly, looking back to Loki, hand touching his thigh gently. It seemed so unfair, how much was going wrong with Loki all the time. The god didn’t deserve it all. He deserved some peace. He could feel the path to Loki’s mind gaping open, so strange after it being blocked for so many months.

Seeing the memories begin to dart about, Frigga placed a hand on Loki’s back. “I’m hear Loki….do not be afraid.” She assured him. Following the god over to a wall, she frowned as she saw the memory jump out. Pushing it away herself, she looked to Loki. “You need to shield yourself from these bad memories” she said slowly. You must find a memory, one that fills you with joy or calm, one that you can remember every detail of and hold onto to shield yourself from being overcome by these memories.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"His speech is broken and mixed up, I believe he was attempting to fix his mind and something went wrong. However I am guessing you would need to speak with him or the queen to be sure." Skadi explained.

Loki looked to his mother when she shoved the memory away from him. When she told him that he needed to shield himself he felt more shame for himself. He knew he should be able to but he couldnt. *cant...has... them...protect...to...tony.* Loki stated looking to his feet. *Thanos...safer...from.* he continued.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony blinked at Skadi’s explanation. That was a new one. But since he’d met Loki, he was really learning mot to question any weirdness that popped up. Leaning back against the headboard beside Loki, he sighed. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing…” he muttered to himself. Everyone kept looking to him for help, to fix things, but he had no idea what was going on. He knew machines and computers, they spoke to him, he could figure out how to fix, how to improve, how to replicate machines. He couldn’t even do that with himself, how was he supposed to fix someone else? And he was just so tired and he felt so old and fragile. Sighing heavily, he leaned against Loki, resting his head on the god’s shoulder and closing his eyes. Peaking across the bond, he stepped into Loki’s mind. “Loki?” he called as he entered, nudging things into piles as he went. That was about all he could manage when organizing minds anyway.

Frigga listened to Loki, pausing to make sure she understood. “For the moment both of you are safe from Thanoa Loki. The shield I put in place will hold. So working on repairing your mind and thus your own defenses is the best thing for both of you.” She said slowly. Placing a hand on the wall, she was only mildly surprised to hear Tony calling out. Smiling she looked around. “Well Tony is up…” she said lightly.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Skadi frowned when the man proclaimed that he didn't know what he was doing. For a moment he thought that Tony was not even going to try and help Loki. For that moment of doubt Skadi almost wanted to yell at the man before him, to tell him that it didn't matter if he knew what to do. That it only mattered that he was there to support Loki if they were continue being mates however as he opened his mouth to say such things Tony was resting his head on Loki shoulder and closing his eyes. Skadi closed his mouth and stepped back to watch and protect.

Loki nodded to his mother when she said that he was safe from Thanos at the moment with the shield up. However he didn't know how long it would take for the ancient god to tear it down and he did not have enough magic to store his pleasant memories away once more. Which meant he couldn't retrieve them and use them to protect himself against the memories which haunted him. He nodded when his mother stated that working on repairing his mind and own defenses was the best thing. He could agree but it was hard with the dark memories and the knowledge that Thanos would tear it down again quickly if it was not complete when the shield fell. Red eyes widened when Loki heard Tony's voice, and for a moment he hoped he imagined it until his mother confirmed the voice. *Sleeping...be....to...supposed.* Loki complainned softly  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Frigga glanced at Loki and smiled. “Well he’s awake now and maybe he can help.” She replied. “Anthony.” She called to the genius, drawing his attention.

Tony was beginning to get frustrated as he couldn’t find Loki or Frigga in the ruins of Loki’s mind. When he heard Frigga’s voice however, he looked around and spotted the pair. Walking over, he looked Loki over curiously. “Skadi said you were having some problems.” He said slowly. Loki looked okay, or at least as ok as he could be given recent circumstances. Having had a few hours of solid sleep, Tony’s mind was clearer and stronger than it had been in a while, so he was able to focus and his image in Loki’s mind was more solid.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki looked suspiciously to his mother when she said that he was awake now. He wondered how Tony knew to wake up when his mother had induced his sleep. He had a suspicion that she had had Skadi wake the man up. Looking to Tony as the man neared them he shifted anxiously. When Tony commented that Skadi had said something to him about his problem he looked to his mother suspicion confirmed. Then he nodded at Tony to answer question gesturing to his mother to explain.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Frigga smiled at Tony easily as he approached. “Loki was trying to rebuild and something happened. He’s having trouble structuring what he needs to say.” She explained slowly, looking back to the wall Loki had been working on as if she could see exactly what that problem was.

Tony crossed his arms and frowned. Loki was already restricted to Asgardian….now he couldn’t even speak that properly? Looking to the wall then to Loki, he gave a little hum. “Did you have a section of this place dedicated to speech related things? Oral stories, books you read, not normal memories?” he asked slowly. “Our brains have sections specifically dedicated to language….maybe your mind palace has a section like that where the problem is.” He suggested, offering the only help he could imagine.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki shifted a bit more anxiously as his mother explained his predicament. He saw his mother look to the wall he had been working on and growned. He didn't know how rebuilding would effect his speech. He looked back to tony when the man hummed and he saw he too was looking at the wall too. Again Loki frowned, such a small thing he had done had caused much trouble it seemed. In an instant the frustration he had felt earlier was back and the memories fluttered with his frustration. Those that embodied the emotion moving forward to agitate other memories. Tony's questions paused the frustration. *placed...long...been...since...i...remember...where...i...dont...built ...dont...it...know...dont...its...so...things...were...i.* Loki grit out. He knew of course that he would not be understood and his frustration mounted again.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Frigga looked around anxiously as Loki’s memories began to move faster. Tony wasn’t impressed however. When Frigga could offer no translation Tony stepped closer to Loki. “Loki…look at me….stop worrying about things being perfect. Communicate with only single words. We’re in your mind, imagine what you’re wanting to say in pictures. Charades….” He said slowly, motioning around them. This was Loki’s head, there were always other ways to handle things. “Besides, not being able to talk clearly isn’t the worst thing that could happen.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki's eyes darted up when he sensed Tony move towards him. He did look at Tony when the man called for him to. He frowned when the man said that he needed to stop worrying about everything being perfect. He wasn't worrying about being perfect, he was worrying about being able to communicate with someone. The picture idea had merit but he knew he couldn't use pictures for some words. Loki frowned again when Tony continued to say that not being able to talk was not the worst thing. Loki mimed not being able to talk and then having trouble with the babies. How was he supposed to explain what was happening or what he was feeling.