AFG Sallies

[UglyCoyoteNG]

Myth Runekin

sorry gonk my fault......

s'okay. wink  

[Krissim Klaw]

DoomNeko

@ NG :

Other than that I'm back to having trouble with art. Less than when I was still living with my parents, but nonetheless still aving trouble. Not just the insecurity, but sometimes just the lack of motivation to ink /colour a drawing when I know it'll be 3 to 8 hours of work just to get one picture done with the mouse. sweatdrop
Can't seem to keep a stable level of drawing quality either. Sometimes stuff comes out disproportionnate and just plain fugly looking no matter how hard I try while a simple doodle looks amazing, and other times it's the exact opposite. And then again I still have some past drawings that look better than what I draw these days, ugh. I know I shouldn't stress myself so much about it, but I really want my drawings to be as good as they can be; it's only been my one and only creative passion for the almost entirety of my life. Stopped doing game mods and gave up on guitar, and never really got into writing. :X

I hope the hormones go well for you. Must admit I'm a bit nervouse because they like all drugs can have bad, even dangerous side affects. I hope they work well for you though.

As for the art, there is only one way to get over art block and that is to do art. It sounds like you are having a similar problem to me when it comes to doing pieces. I have no energy for pieces, especially when I think how many hours it is going to take to complete it. There is also the feeling of needing to draw a masterpiece every freaken time or its a failure. I would suggest, going back to doodles. You know, remember the simple joy of pencil sketches on notebook paper that you used to do during class. Just do simple stuff. No expectations, no desire for perfection. Don't even use good paper, just crappy notebook stuff. Also don't feel the need to focus completely on it. Try doodling while watching TV or something.

You might also want to try something new. I know traditional is not your perfered method, but just forget that and go out and buy some cheap color pencils or markers and play around. The fastest way to kick back in some inspiration is try something new. And remember, no stress over how it turns out. You are not planning to live off of you art right now so if it sucks than who cares. Look at it as a learning experience.

water_elemental

Im sorry this seems quite long, but I am slightly worried, and I want many opinions before I check myself into the emergency room, because I am i between jobs at the moment, and I have no insuance.

If you have any fear for your life or organs if you don't get immediat help, than go to the emergency room. If you think you can wait for a day or so and schedual an appointment with a current doctor or specialist, than I would suggest waiting. Emergency rooms can only help you if your about to die. Other than that, they run a few tests and tell you you need to see a specialist in the area. XP

UglyCoyoteNG

...and then for the two new animals.
reddragonherps was there, and he was laughing i'd been back twice the day before, and i was back today. We talked about his hatchlings, and I was admiring the parents. We talked about price, and he could tell how badly we wanted one of the neonates. So instead of the useual price of $450, he gave me my neonate for $280. Now, what kind of neonate is it?
A GREEN TREE PYTHON. NGS GOT A GTP. OHMYGOD. .:.explodes.:.

Now if that wasn't enough, I got somthing Krissim inspired... a little baby female mantis! The guy said she was a Chinese Giant, or somthing, i'm not quite sure. Her name is queeny, and just like Kriss said, shes amazingly friendly! she was doing this cute waving thing for gramma, who hates bugs, but now has a friend, in queeenie~

burning_eyes A green tree python and mantis all in one day. (explodes from overload). OMG you have to take pictures of your cute new babies. Yay for adorable snakes, and yay that you got it at lower price.

And joy to the world about the mantis. (Giggles) Queeny, I had a female mantis who became known as Queeny, or The Queen depending on her mood. XD

UglyCoyoteNG

Shaviv

How tough are mantises? When I see them I want to touch them but I'm afraid to, because I don't want to hurt them, and some creatures are so fragile.

Its part of being human, just roll with it. Or if you really want, look it up in a dream dictionary. They are alot of fun, if nothing else. And oh, who wouldn't snicker? Theres a little bit of immature kid in all of us. wink

I'm not sure, really. The guy said spray her twice weekly, one pin-head cricket daily, and she'd be good. He said not to feed her tonight, she might be stressed and may refuse it. She's verrrry friendly, if not a little nervouse of me yet. heart She's about an inch long (that dosen't include the part of her body thats at an incline) and she dosen't mind me handling her. I don't think i've hurt her, either. So i'm pretty sure in that respect, they're tough!
But ask Kriss, she knows much more then I do. sweatdrop

For their little buggy size, mantises are pretty tough. However when it comes to handling and worry about hurting them, its very simple, you never just go and pick a mantise up. What I mean by that, is you never reach around a mantis and grab it in anyway. Picking up a mantis is a joint effort. There is you with your hand flat and palm offered, and the mantis who decides if they want to crawl up on your hand. Sure you can use your other hand to give a gentle nudge on their rump or leg to encourage them if they are being slow pokes (little puff of air also can be very effective) but you never grab a mantis. When it comes down to it, a mantis will let you know if ever you do hurt them because they will either flail around like crazy or lash out with their claws and bite. Mantises will also let you know if they are frightened.

When mantises become afraid they draw their claws up and splay them at the sides of their head. They also curl their butts up and if they have wings, will unfurl them all in an effort to make themselves look bigger. If you ever see a mantis like this you need to back off. This is mantis warning for I will attach anything that gets to close. Generally however it is easy to calm one down, espcially if they already know you. Just bend down cooe at them and shake your head back and forth and they will be relaxed and crawling toward you in no time.

As far as the spraying NG, that sounds great. Twice a week is a good amount for babies because it offers them water and keeps their skin hydrated to make shedding easier. I however, would also offer your baby mantis water every other day or so when you take her out. Just spray a little infront of where she is walking so she steps in it. Generally as long as they aren't too excited, they will immediatly start searching with their anntennae and then drop down for a drink.

pin head crickets should be great for food, though also a great time to keep your eyes out for other little insects to eat. With mantises I find a variety of buggies to be best health wise. X3  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

Kriss- you should have SEEN me when i saw her. I was like OMGKRISSMUSTGET. She's a little scared when you pick her up; she curls her butt up. But she likes climbing, and she stares at me as if to say "What in the HELL are YOU?" she also likes to chew on my nails. I do't think she means to hurt me, or is upset, because she relaxes once she gets a hold of my nail. I think shes friendly, she jumps right o your hand when you put it in. heart XD Im in love. I'll take lots of pictures, Kriss. You gotta see my little GTP. He's an Aru, and he's really sweet, but he'll tell you when he's had enough handling. heart I was just WAITING for you to get on so i can tell you about Queeny. heart Also, he said she could eat a small cricket, (half inch long) and i'll try for some variety, but the area has lots of green yards and foreign plants- which means craploads of pesticides. So i'll have to be careful. Also, if you'd like we can talk about my new babies on Aim. X3

Oh; and... thanks you, Kriss. razz You opened my mind to buggies, and im glad I got one! She's sitting on my hand cleaning her claws.  

[Shinigami Whistle]

Makes me wonder if a bug would be allowed as a pet here in these apartment buildings xD I serously should ask someone about that *laughs*


But, I'm happy to hear about your new pets and such, NG =3 They sound great.




hmmm, I need to see a doctor here soon, I keep getitng worse and worse. This past week I think I almost fained 3 times during work because my head starting to swim so badly I couldn't keep my footing. It's not good. I need to go see a doctor, figure out what's wrong with me, but I truly do not have the money. I'm hoping this thursday to have the money from my paycheck, but who knows, I only worked 19 hours last week and I only get paid 5.25 an hour. I wish I got paid sooner cause then I could schedule for a earlier appointment. As it stands it wont' be until at least next week till I see a doctor if I'm lucky, and who knows how much worse I'll get by then.

And I've been having a lot of eye problems lately, my one eye keeps getting blind spots, where when I take my glasses off (and sometimes with them on) I can barely see out of it. It's not good, I'm really getting worried. mom is gonna try and get me an appointment hte weekend I go back home next month for a dentist appointment, but that's a month away.

Blah, moving out on my own has been good and bad. Freedom good, getting sick and having truly NO one here to help me cause all of my family is a state away is not so good. So if something serious happens to me, there will be no one here to take care of me or help me if I really need it. *sighs*


oh well, I'm gonna go get some rest now. Night, everyone.  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

Krissim Klaw

I hope the hormones go well for you. Must admit I'm a bit nervouse because they like all drugs can have bad, even dangerous side affects. I hope they work well for you though.

As for the art, there is only one way to get over art block and that is to do art. It sounds like you are having a similar problem to me when it comes to doing pieces. I have no energy for pieces, especially when I think how many hours it is going to take to complete it. There is also the feeling of needing to draw a masterpiece every freaken time or its a failure. I would suggest, going back to doodles. You know, remember the simple joy of pencil sketches on notebook paper that you used to do during class. Just do simple stuff. No expectations, no desire for perfection. Don't even use good paper, just crappy notebook stuff. Also don't feel the need to focus completely on it. Try doodling while watching TV or something.

You might also want to try something new. I know traditional is not your perfered method, but just forget that and go out and buy some cheap color pencils or markers and play around. The fastest way to kick back in some inspiration is try something new. And remember, no stress over how it turns out. You are not planning to live off of you art right now so if it sucks than who cares. Look at it as a learning experience.

Thanks Kriss, I'll try that with art, see what helps me out of this.
Quit honestly this has been going on (and getting gradually worse) since about 4 years ago so it's kindof getting out of hand at this point; and one f the big reasons I tend to want to make a masterpiece is that I'm reallyreallyreally perfectionnistic about my art when I am drawing it, even if at the time I'm lost in my lil' world and don't realise it. ^^;


Also for hormones; I'm currently self-medicating myself because the only way I have of getting the stuff with a proper prescription here is after 1500-2500$ and 1 year or 2 more's worth of psychologist / psychiatrist / endo appointments, which is money and time I don't have right now compared to the measely 400$ it costs to get a 2-3 month worth of the medication. I just use the recommended doses for it.

Granted, I'm no specialist and I -can- screw up my system doing this, but until the endo finally accepts to see me with/without the reference letters, I rather DIY than wait and then have to deal with even higher doses and more surgeries needed later on to counteract my body still growing down the bad path; especially when I'm right on the best age to transition for best effects. >.< (earlier would've been nice, but parents weren't helping, and the psychs/doctors refused to prescribe to me before I hit 18, bastards. Like it's impossible for me to have a proper opinion on it until then. P: )

The only other thing I could do to help myself is get an orchiectomy, but I need about as much reference letters and evalution crap to do that as I would getting the final surgery done. What most TSes faced with this problem do is just muster up the courage to grab a sharp knife, numb themselves down there and DIY it again, and then call 911 to be hospitalised.
Psych : "We didn't think you were THIS serious about it!"

Ugh, I want to smack those quacks sometimes.  

[Selene Aries]

*prays all goes well for Krystal*

Wow, Doomie, you are actually starting the process. 3nodding I am pretty suprised, not that you are doing but that you are doing it already. Best of luck to you, hope all goes well.  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

Diana Vulpes

*prays all goes well for Krystal*

Wow, Doomie, you are actually starting the process. 3nodding I am pretty suprised, not that you are doing but that you are doing it already. Best of luck to you, hope all goes well.

Thanks. I would of started earlier if I could, but the psychs/my parents were getting in the way and I couldn't really do anything while I was under my parents' roof, so I had to wait 'till I was 18 to move out. Now that I'm on my own though, it's full speed ahead. mrgreen heart  

[Crenn]

Good on you Doomie, when you get everything, make sure to go home and see if they know who you are wink .

As for NG, those snakes almost sound good... pity I've been 'programed' to freeze up when I see a snake... but that might only be when they're in the grass... I'm not sure. Anyway, I'll try to find what I was talking to you about and take a picture of it.  

[UglyCoyoteNG]

My mom just broke my awesome as hell Exo-terra cage. Crap. Hopefully my buddies at petco will help me out again.

I just set up the broken cage to keep Queeny and my GTP in for now. They're in they're own seperete cups; and they're doin' fine. they just need to be in there so I can thermo-regulate them.

Queeny just got to eat. heart I love her.

Also, im going to another exbo in January. Portland Metro Reptile Exbo. Then in Febuary down to portland Oegon again for more exbos. wink This time for the Repile and Exotics exbo. heart  

[Crenn]

I just love my family... I'm feeling great until they start hassling me about the face that I'm not studying.....

EDIT: Oh yeah, I should mention. This is the same family who considers a break from study a time to do house hold chores.....  

[FogSage]

Crenn, I don't know your family very well, but to me, there seems little use in hanging around since it's obvious they don't appreciate you doing anything, productive or otherwise. Tell your sisters to get over themselves, put down the goddamn mascara and lipstick, and do some work for once. If my step-sisters were down there with you, they'd be like army people working those girls. They were a good influence on me. They shouldn't be so particular and spoiled. Tell your parents that you feel unappreciated and you'd enjoy it if they'd get off your back on some things, especially the whole "I do the grunt work, sister does none" thing.  

[Shaviv]

I guess I could probably handle a mantis with no trouble, then. I found one on the sidewalk a while ago and I got it to climb onto my helmet. I was surprised - I didn't think we had any here. But it didn't like my helmet, so it climbed onto my hand instead. I could feel the strength in its legs, and the little pinpricks where its claws dug into my skin for a grip.

And good lord, when they fly... they're like fairies, you know? So slow and their bodies remain upright. And in the cold light of the streetlamps, it looks very much like magic.

I'm still much more comfortable and confident with dogs or rats or cats, though. They're proven tough. I've seen dogs pick themselves up after being hit by cars, I've... worked with rats, and I'm told that when I was a tiny infant, my father picked up the cat (it had just scratched me) and hurled it like a football out the door. Whereupon it hit a tree, bounced, and lived more or less happily for several more years.  

[Rastiel]

Went to see my therapist today for my first real session. He surprised me by saying that the death of my biological mother may have something to do with my issues; why I'm depressed, why I'm unable to show emotions, even in part as to why I haven't fully accepted that I'm gay (subconciously speaking). We covered a lot of ground in an hour, and I feel happy to know that we'll be making progress soon enough.

The main problem I'm having right now is with connecting with other people. I'm so different that I have next to nothing in common with people, and when I do, things often don't work out. I tend to either be dull and boring, or hyperactive and bouncing off the walls with insane energy. I'm not manic-depressive, or if I am, I'm not as extreme a case as some are. I also seem to fear rejection from people when I open up to them, which is why I have learned to be so quiet and withdrawn. The doc told me that I need to find out why I still haven't accepted me for who I really am, and that I also need to find out what it is about myself that I don't approve of. Silly as this may sound, it makes perfect sense to me. I go back in a week.  

[Selene Aries]

Psychiatry can be a real big help to a lot of people. There are a lot of things we do and we don't realize why we do or in some cases that we are doing it at all. That is where a psychiatrist, or psychologist, comes in handy because they are trained to spot certain mannerisms and what might be the root cause. To put it short, they are able to recognize subconscious behavior and come with a hypothesis to what might be the cause and by giving you that information one becomes conscious of why they act and behave the way they do. Thus giving one the tolls you need to correct your own behavior if they so choose to.

While I do not feel the need to speak to a psychotherapist, I have always had this twisted desire to have at least one session and see what comes from it. Because I am curious if they will be able to diagnose me properly and have an unbiased view on what I may wish to discuss or if their own personal views on life will cloud the diagnosis. Since a psychiatrist can only really make assumptions until confirmed by patient it is a real hit and miss science.
 

[Crenn]

FogSage

Crenn, I don't know your family very well, but to me, there seems little use in hanging around since it's obvious they don't appreciate you doing anything, productive or otherwise. Tell your sisters to get over themselves, put down the goddamn mascara and lipstick, and do some work for once. If my step-sisters were down there with you, they'd be like army people working those girls. They were a good influence on me. They shouldn't be so particular and spoiled. Tell your parents that you feel unappreciated and you'd enjoy it if they'd get off your back on some things, especially the whole "I do the grunt work, sister does none" thing.

Well, my sisters aren't really a problem as they have to do chores likes me. Although my eldest sister (the one with the heart condition) can't do much since her blood pressure is low but she attempts to do stuff like making dinner and packing dishwashers. My other sisters sometimes unpack dishwashers, but normally that's my job. Main reason I have to unpack the dishwasher as we had to 2 dishdrawers... but one broke and the bottom one was mine... and I am the tallest so I have to bend over a lot to reach down.