In my head

[Eisoji]

I think I've got my apartment for college reserved. Went today to get it all done.

I do have a bit of a friend problem. But my forum makes me seem bipolar enough as it is so I'm not sure I should bother posting.  

[Eisoji]

Just spent over 30,000 gold on a Gwee. . . I regret nothing! *huggles him* Other than that I'm stuck on the family computer until a new cord for my laptop comes in. Bleh. Oh, well it should only be a couple days.

*Be Zen. Be Zen. Be Zen.*  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

Eisoji

I think I've got my apartment for college reserved. Went today to get it all done.

I do have a bit of a friend problem. But my forum makes me seem bipolar enough as it is so I'm not sure I should bother posting.

Spill. I'll listen.  

[Eisoji]

Deadly Nightshayde

Eisoji

I think I've got my apartment for college reserved. Went today to get it all done.

I do have a bit of a friend problem. But my forum makes me seem bipolar enough as it is so I'm not sure I should bother posting.

Spill. I'll listen.

Thanks. Well the basic story is my friend is in town for the rest of the summer so she wants to hang out a lot. I only have a few months left until my life is going to get Very hectic and I won't be able to talk to Nathan as much. I can talk to my friend more often because we'll be in the same time zone and only a few hours apart.

She mad at me for trying to talk to Nathan whenever we both have time. Plus whenever we hang out it's usually until past midnight and I have a schedule now that means I have to wake up earlier (I get up workout and then go straight to work), besides being tired whenever I get back I have trouble falling asleep on a normal night. So I just don't want to hang out as much. If at all. So her and another one of my friends are both mad at me. And half the time I'm too tired to care. Which makes me feel worse.

Sorry that was so long. ^^;  

[Eisoji]

Just wanted to post something funny real quick.

I have a major stomach ache right now. Have had most of the day. I just called Nathan 'cause I always feel better when I talk to him. The beginning of the conversation went like this:

Him: Hey, hon.
Me: Hey.
H: Hold on a sec. *to his friends* I swear to God, if any of you make fun of me for anything you hear me say I will kick all your asses.
M: *cracking up*
H: So, what's up, Josie.

The rest of the conversation was nice but that little part right there ended up cheering me up a lot. biggrin  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

I understand the being tired thing. I have trouble sleeping too.
I don't really know what to tell you.
I guess just try to explain to your friends how busy you are and how tired you get.

Thanks for the giftie, you're so sweet! ^^  

[Eisoji]

Deadly Nightshayde

I understand the being tired thing. I have trouble sleeping too.
I don't really know what to tell you.
I guess just try to explain to your friends how busy you are and how tired you get.

Thanks for the giftie, you're so sweet! ^^

I'll try explaining at some point I guess. I'm just worried about how mad they'll get.

No problem. ^_^  

[Eisoji]

So maybe I'm just overly sensitive, but I hate when he keeps his phone off and leaves for hours and never calls to tell me he'll be gone so long. I don't mind him hanging out with his friends, but we'll barely be able to talk next week as it is.  

[Eisoji]

********. Now I'm pissed. Too pissed type the whole thing. If anyone cares I'll type it up later.  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

i care.  

[Eisoji]

Well we did end up talking it over, he apologized and now I'm going to remind him daily to call me. He's doing good okay.

What basically happened was he left to go have dinner at his friend Aaron's house. He said he'd be about 2 hours. I gave him 4 before I called and of course his phone was off. I left a message and tried back about half an hour later. Still no answer. So I tried his house. I asked his mom if he was home. She said he'd called a little while ago and said they were watching a movie and he'd be late.

He's over a thousand miles away from me. If something happened it could be days before I found out. So when he doesn't call hours after he says he would I worry. And I worry badly. He knows this, I've told him a so many times. But he didn't call and tell me. If this had happened just once or twice I wouldn't have been so upset, but it's happened more times than I can count, so I got pissed and told him off.

I guess I should have done it sooner, because I think it's finally getting through to him that he needs to call. I only ask three things of him. This is one of them.

I know it may sound crazy but it's important to me.  

[Eisoji]

Had a good couple days, somewhat. And then today happened.

It all started with my brother. I was up for less than half an hour when things started to go wrong. For some reason my little brother, he's 16, is bringing up the past in front of my mom, his friends and me. He was talking about how they hadn't gotten him a freezer cup while we were waiting in line for a ride at Disneyland. We both called him a brat over it and then he starts in on me. Saying how I cry over everything, and how dumb I am, and he decides to tell a few very personal things I had told him in front My mom AND his two friends. My mom said he was a jackass and I finished making my breakfast and hid in my room. And, yes, I cried over it. I'm extremely sensitive and I know it, I really don't take well to being called dumb over and over.

It took me awhile to get ahold of Nathan and he managed to calm me down enough so I can head to work. But of course today is the day my boss decides to be a b***h. Saying I'm not working enough and if I can't find stuff to do I should just go home (I was working dammit). So of course I'm pissed when I get home.

I talk to Nathan again and try to figure out when we're talking tonight. He's busy all day, we only got to talking a little while ago.

My brother gets home and his still a d**k. I take all the stuff I've lent him back and say he is Never allowed to ask me for a favor ever again.

I Finally get to talk to Nathan. And it turns out his mother has taken his webcam away. He's been busy all week and I haven't gotten to see him since Monday and was looking forward to seeing him all day. It was basically the icing on the s**t cake.

*Edit* So he, my little brother, just tried to talk me into lending him a PS2 controller. AFTER I told him to never ask me for a favor again. He seemed to insist that I only said that earlier because I was mad. I told him no, and yes I cursed at him twice at most. He tried to argue with me and when I finally just told him to get out he flipped me off and said '******** you, you fat dumb b***h'. Anyone willing to give me a ride to Missouri? I think I need to get the hell out of this house.  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

siblings can be such a pain. everyone has bad days. you just gotta shake it off and wake up the next morning with the mindset that it's a new day, a fresh start.  

[Eisoji]

I don't think I get a fresh start. I'm really starting to think life is too much work. I don't know that I'm strong enough to deal with it. And no, I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm just. . .very very tired.  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

pish posh. life is messy and crazy and painful and ridiculous. but it's also amazing and beautiful. no one gets out alive anyway, so you might as well make the best of it while you're here. there are rough spots and low points, but you wouldn't appreciate the good times if you didn't have something to compare them to. it's hard now, but all in all it'll make you a stronger person.