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 Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:55 am
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Ratri_Cat BeXlieXve Haydar the Truthful Ratri_Cat Mini_Angel_1994 Just consider I haven't typed it, again it's not confirmed, I'm not sure whether the translation is correct or not. I know the way we can say it in Arabic, but in English, I'm not sure. So, just respond based on my porposal story. Lol!
neutral
Well yeah, because there's a possibility they can lie, But I dunno what family member would lie to the guy who's gonna marry their sister/Daughter/niece whichever. Unless there was some sort of trickery to keep their daughter from being married. xd I think what Ratri was saying is that she'd rather be judged by her actions toward the boy than what people say about her to him. And I have to agree with her. sweatdrop
Allah already desided who u shall marry! Now just figureout how u get married wink Maybe your parrents find the person for u, maybe u find one youself and then request your parrents! |
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:46 am
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Zaaki Ratri_Cat BeXlieXve Haydar the Truthful Ratri_Cat Mini_Angel_1994 Just consider I haven't typed it, again it's not confirmed, I'm not sure whether the translation is correct or not. I know the way we can say it in Arabic, but in English, I'm not sure. So, just respond based on my porposal story. Lol!
neutral
Well yeah, because there's a possibility they can lie, But I dunno what family member would lie to the guy who's gonna marry their sister/Daughter/niece whichever. Unless there was some sort of trickery to keep their daughter from being married. xd I think what Ratri was saying is that she'd rather be judged by her actions toward the boy than what people say about her to him. And I have to agree with her. sweatdrop Allah already desided who u shall marry! Now just figureout how u get married wink Maybe your parrents find the person for u, maybe u find one youself and then request your parrents!
I know that God already knows. I don't need you to tell me that. How it comes around is up to Him, but I do not want to have it by people talking to me behind my back to a guy just so he'd marry me. |
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:24 am
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Ratri_Cat Zaaki Ratri_Cat BeXlieXve Haydar the Truthful Well yeah, because there's a possibility they can lie, But I dunno what family member would lie to the guy who's gonna marry their sister/Daughter/niece whichever. Unless there was some sort of trickery to keep their daughter from being married. xd I think what Ratri was saying is that she'd rather be judged by her actions toward the boy than what people say about her to him. And I have to agree with her. sweatdrop Allah already desided who u shall marry! Now just figureout how u get married wink Maybe your parrents find the person for u, maybe u find one youself and then request your parrents!
I know that God already knows. I don't need you to tell me that. How it comes around is up to Him, but I do not want to have it by people talking to me behind my back to a guy just so he'd marry me.
You guys way misunderstood me!! It's not that he's going to marry you based on what people have to say about you! Like, you and him are in the same college. So he met you several times, then he decides that you're a good person, then why not, I'll tell my family, we'll go to her house. After having a chat with you, he's going to ask about you between your friends and classmates, and probably your teachers. He's not going to ask your enemy! He's going to ask people who are close to you! |
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:39 am
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:42 pm
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Mini_Angel_1994 Ratri_Cat Zaaki Ratri_Cat BeXlieXve Haydar the Truthful Well yeah, because there's a possibility they can lie, But I dunno what family member would lie to the guy who's gonna marry their sister/Daughter/niece whichever. Unless there was some sort of trickery to keep their daughter from being married. xd I think what Ratri was saying is that she'd rather be judged by her actions toward the boy than what people say about her to him. And I have to agree with her. sweatdrop Allah already desided who u shall marry! Now just figureout how u get married wink Maybe your parrents find the person for u, maybe u find one youself and then request your parrents!
I know that God already knows. I don't need you to tell me that. How it comes around is up to Him, but I do not want to have it by people talking to me behind my back to a guy just so he'd marry me. You guys way misunderstood me!! It's not that he's going to marry you based on what people have to say about you! Like, you and him are in the same college. So he met you several times, then he decides that you're a good person, then why not, I'll tell my family, we'll go to her house. After having a chat with you, he's going to ask about you between your friends and classmates, and probably your teachers. He's not going to ask your enemy! He's going to ask people who are close to you!
I understand all of that.
But I would still prefer that he get to know me without asking others about me. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:51 am
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BubbleBerry Tea Mini_Angel_1994 Ratri_Cat Zaaki Ratri_Cat thank you. that's what I was trying to say. Allah already desided who u shall marry! Now just figureout how u get married wink Maybe your parrents find the person for u, maybe u find one youself and then request your parrents!
I know that God already knows. I don't need you to tell me that. How it comes around is up to Him, but I do not want to have it by people talking to me behind my back to a guy just so he'd marry me. You guys way misunderstood me!! It's not that he's going to marry you based on what people have to say about you! Like, you and him are in the same college. So he met you several times, then he decides that you're a good person, then why not, I'll tell my family, we'll go to her house. After having a chat with you, he's going to ask about you between your friends and classmates, and probably your teachers. He's not going to ask your enemy! He's going to ask people who are close to you! I understand all of that. But I would still prefer that he get to know me without asking others about me.
I might ask someone what his favorite color/thing to do is if i want to surprise him with a gift or something. But otherwise I prefer direct conversation.
This asking people, behind my back, even for good...seems more of a fundamental flaw of character than anything else. |
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:29 am
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Ratri_Cat BubbleBerry Tea Mini_Angel_1994 Ratri_Cat Zaaki Ratri_Cat thank you. that's what I was trying to say. Allah already desided who u shall marry! Now just figureout how u get married wink Maybe your parrents find the person for u, maybe u find one youself and then request your parrents!
I know that God already knows. I don't need you to tell me that. How it comes around is up to Him, but I do not want to have it by people talking to me behind my back to a guy just so he'd marry me. You guys way misunderstood me!! It's not that he's going to marry you based on what people have to say about you! Like, you and him are in the same college. So he met you several times, then he decides that you're a good person, then why not, I'll tell my family, we'll go to her house. After having a chat with you, he's going to ask about you between your friends and classmates, and probably your teachers. He's not going to ask your enemy! He's going to ask people who are close to you! I understand all of that. But I would still prefer that he get to know me without asking others about me.
I might ask someone what his favorite color/thing to do is if i want to surprise him with a gift or something. But otherwise I prefer direct conversation.
This asking people, behind my back, even for good...seems more of a fundamental flaw of character than anything else.
So you left the whole marriage thing and concentrated on the asking thingie??
Ok let me ask you something. How are you going to know that this guy you're going to get married to is not a stealer ( God forbid ) or kind of gambler, or he cheats in his job? You know, you're not going to ask that in front of his face! You'll eventually need to know who this guy is!! While dating, you might as well find someone who's making fun of you, or he's just taking you as amusement, am I right? Marriage is the same thing, he might be married already, and he's going to get married to you as the second, and you don't even know that. That's my point!! |
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:16 am
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Mini_Angel_1994 Ratri_Cat BubbleBerry Tea Obviously he doesn't have a lot of confidence in himself he he can't ask me something to my face.
I might ask someone what his favorite color/thing to do is if i want to surprise him with a gift or something. But otherwise I prefer direct conversation.
This asking people, behind my back, even for good...seems more of a fundamental flaw of character than anything else. So you left the whole marriage thing and concentrated on the asking thingie??
No. I was re-establishing that I do not believe that a guy seeking a potential marriage partner should have to ask around to see what she is like.
Mini_Angel_1994 How are you going to know that this guy you're going to get married to is not a stealer ( God forbid ) or kind of gambler, or he cheats in his job? You know, you're not going to ask that in front of his face!
Usually it's clues. Anybody engaged in that type of behavior has a type of pattern. I don't see why I shouldn't confront a guy if I start noticing a weird pattern. And don't forget woman's intuition!
Mini_Angel_1994 While dating, you might as well find someone who's making fun of you, or he's just taking you as amusement, am I right?
There's that risk, sure. those that usually are that manipulative in my experience, you learn the type of man and you avoid those types in the future. I find learning from my mistakes a growing experience, and I learn a little more about myself and how to do better when I think I might like a guy. I like this type of self-discovery. You don't get that type of interaction anywhere else. Sure, you're going to hit some painful bumps in the road, but that's life. You endure pain and you learn from it. And just because the guy asks around and sees you as a perfect spouse and everyone all agrees and whatnot, doesn't mean that you'll have a perfect marriage.
Life is not pain free and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.
Mini_Angel_1994 Marriage is the same thing, he might be married already, and he's going to get married to you as the second, and you don't even know that.
Incorrect. A man cannot get married to another woman if he is already married and has another marriage contract with another woman. Marriage in the west is a CIVIL union. meaning, it is illegal and unlawful for him to attempt this, and isn't possible because governments have records of this. |
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:16 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:23 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:27 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:43 am
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Lol Ratri, I'm starting to feel that this is going to be endless.
I said it's an option, you may ask about him. Islam since a baby is born, starts to teach parents how to raise their children. You mustn't lie, you mustn't disobey Allah, you must have a purpose in life, you mustn't steal, you mustn't call people names. That's what it is about. In that case, everyone is the perfect guy. I mean, who doesn't want a person with all those manners above? It's supposed that every guy that will propose they will be good enough for you. But at the mean time, people forgot all about that. And parents are supposed to know everyone, his father is a gambler, then maybe he learns from him the bad manners, you shouldn't get married to him. It's a whole life style as I said.
As for love, well, I don't know about that. I personally haven't experienced it yet xp But I think that love will grow between woman and a man living together as they grow old. That's what I think, I mean, you can't just live with a guy and not learn how to love him? I don't know for I personally have no information about that.
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:53 am
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Mini_Angel_1994 I said it's an option, you may ask about him. Islam since a baby is born, starts to teach parents how to raise their children. You mustn't lie, you mustn't disobey Allah, you must have a purpose in life, you mustn't steal, you mustn't call people names. That's what it is about. In that case, everyone is the perfect guy. I mean, who doesn't want a person with all those manners above?
a) know him properly
b) are married and its too late
Mini_Angel_1994 It's supposed that every guy that will propose they will be good enough for you.
That is a gamble i don't want to take at all. Do you now how many abused marriages are a result of this kind of naive thinking?
Mini_Angel_1994 As for love, well, I don't know about that. I personally haven't experienced it yet xp But I think that love will grow between woman and a man living together as they grow old.
And is it really love? Or the fact that you have to deal with each other on a daily basis and have kids that you eventually learn to love each other, or at least accept one another.
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:33 pm
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hmmmmmmf, I really don't believe that dating will make you know the guy better. I mean, most of guys and girls dating right now is about saticfying themselves. But, I think dating in an old age is proper, but also forbidden. It's more safe to merry someone you know, I know. But let's take this as an example: You are a woman who works at an office, and you're successful, surely someone will come and propose, as you are a woman who is looking for sucess, and prosperity. I personally wouldn't marry a guy whom I don't know. It's often that when you ask about someone, you'll ask about how faithful he is. Does he go to Jum'a prayer, does he fast at Ramadan?
I mean, when you're father's reputation is very good, my father is a successful guy, he works hard and he loves people. He's kind. Then surely, someone would like to marry this guy's daughter, because he must've raised his daughter well. The most important thing at the first meeting, that you'll tell the truth, and based on that, you'll try to always tell the truth. It's marriage not a game! Nobody who is muslim and goes to prayer and fasts will have the cold heart to lie. Like, you must tell if you have a sickness, or you must tell if you have a disability, you must tell if you're already married or got divorced. And that rarely happens, someone you don't know won't propose, unless he works with you, or knows your father, or you live in the same neighbourhood. I'm telling you that Allah is merciful enough to answer your prayers. So it's important for a girl to pray that Allah will send the proper guy.
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:12 am
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