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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 6:39 pm


	September 12th, 2012 - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - Kinda abandoned this thread...whoopsie cat_sweatdrop . Well it's been about a week and a half since school started. This is my first year of high school and it's been going okay. There are lots of new girls at my school (it's an all girls school) which is good so that I'm not forced to talk to the other snotty a bitches i have to deal with. Me and my best (and the only one trustworthy) friend are really good friends with two girls who are new to school this year. They're both so nice heart Dance has been going on for about two weeks as well. I am currently taking ballet, lyrical, jazz, hip hop, and tumbling. Lots of classes I know but I want to be a really good dancer and I love to dance it makes me feel happy and my stress just melts away. Everything has been going....okay. Not exactly great. Something happened two days ago but i don't really want bring it up now or I'll be in a depressed mood for the rest of the night but maybe I'll talk about it later. Okay. Im done. - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry** -

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:35 am


	September 16th, 2012 - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - Saying I'm not in a good place right now is something of an understatement. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to punch holes in the wall. But I know none of those things will bring her back. My great-grandma....she died last night. While I was at a dance on top of that. My mom told me this morning because she didn't want to upset me. I didn't even know how to react at first. She kept telling me she was at peace. That she died with a smile on her face. But her words just kept ringing in my ears. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. I just can't believe she's gone. That I'll never be able to talk to her again. I'll never be able to see her smile again. It hurts so bad. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I feel like my lungs are cut off. My stomach is in knots and feels like I've been punched. I got to see her earlier yesterday before she died...and I remember standing by her bed....and I thought to myself 'I don't know if you'll make it or not....but I just want you to know...even if you're in pain....even if you can't hear me...even if you might not see me again...is that I love you. I love you to the moon and back'. I never said these words out loud. I now have less than 24 hours to get myself together before school tomorrow. But even I know that's just not possible....so even though she can't read this....Mom Mom...I love you...and I miss you so much that it hurts...I hope you're at peace wherever you are....and maybe somehow...I'll hear from you again soon... - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry -

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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:08 pm


	iiRawr_Destiny September 16th, 2012 - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - Saying I'm not in a good place right now is something of an understatement. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to punch holes in the wall. But I know none of those things will bring her back. My great-grandma....she died last night. While I was at a dance on top of that. My mom told me this morning because she didn't want to upset me. I didn't even know how to react at first. She kept telling me she was at peace. That she died with a smile on her face. But her words just kept ringing in my ears. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. I just can't believe she's gone. That I'll never be able to talk to her again. I'll never be able to see her smile again. It hurts so bad. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I feel like my lungs are cut off. My stomach is in knots and feels like I've been punched. I got to see her earlier yesterday before she died...and I remember standing by her bed....and I thought to myself 'I don't know if you'll make it or not....but I just want you to know...even if you're in pain....even if you can't hear me...even if you might not see me again...is that I love you. I love you to the moon and back'. I never said these words out loud. I now have less than 24 hours to get myself together before school tomorrow. But even I know that's just not possible....so even though she can't read this....Mom Mom...I love you...and I miss you so much that it hurts...I hope you're at peace wherever you are....and maybe somehow...I'll hear from you again soon... - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - emotion_hug I'm so sorry, sweetie... emotion_hug

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:30 pm


	Gigi Deveraux iiRawr_Destiny September 16th, 2012 - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - Saying I'm not in a good place right now is something of an understatement. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to punch holes in the wall. But I know none of those things will bring her back. My great-grandma....she died last night. While I was at a dance on top of that. My mom told me this morning because she didn't want to upset me. I didn't even know how to react at first. She kept telling me she was at peace. That she died with a smile on her face. But her words just kept ringing in my ears. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. I just can't believe she's gone. That I'll never be able to talk to her again. I'll never be able to see her smile again. It hurts so bad. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I feel like my lungs are cut off. My stomach is in knots and feels like I've been punched. I got to see her earlier yesterday before she died...and I remember standing by her bed....and I thought to myself 'I don't know if you'll make it or not....but I just want you to know...even if you're in pain....even if you can't hear me...even if you might not see me again...is that I love you. I love you to the moon and back'. I never said these words out loud. I now have less than 24 hours to get myself together before school tomorrow. But even I know that's just not possible....so even though she can't read this....Mom Mom...I love you...and I miss you so much that it hurts...I hope you're at peace wherever you are....and maybe somehow...I'll hear from you again soon... - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - emotion_hug I'm so sorry, sweetie... emotion_hug emotion_hug ..

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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:45 pm


	Just quick update cause some of my favorite celebrities are having this event near me and you can take a picture with them and get an autograph and stuff but i can't go cause my mom won't drive me. as in she has nothing to do she just doesn't want to drive me. sigh......im so upset right now.

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 2:06 pm


	November 17th, 2012 - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry - I'm really sorry that I haven't been on gaia lately. School and dance has taken up so much of my life that I haven't found time for this. Anyway, it's hard to tell if things for me are going good or bad right now. I'll start with the bad stuff to get that out of the way. Me and my family had to move out of my old house because we don't have enough money to afford to live there anymore. We finally got the last of the furniture out about a week ago. On top of that my grandparents are getting a divorce but that's another story for another day. I've lost all of my old friends as well. I never did believe people when they say high school changes people. Now, I've seen it happen in front of my very eyes. Now my friends are too "cool" to be seen with me because apparently I "act really immature and it's not like I have any real friends anyway". I don't think it ever occured to them that I still have feelings. Enough of that though I'm finding new people to talk to and my so called "friends" can go hang out without me like always. On the bright side some good things have happened as well. My grades have gone up in school since the beginning of the year. Last marking period I only got 2 C's and the rest were A's and B's. I'm determined to get at least a B in all my classes this marking period. Dance has been going great for me as well. I don't talk much there but I found some really sweet little girls in some of my classes that I talk to so I'm not completely alone. I talked to one of my friends the other day who I found out was going through depression. Thing was was that I could relate to her and I acted very similar to her. I told her that I get really sad sometimes too but I've never gone to a doctor to get diagnosed. She said that I probably have depression too. I'm too scared to talk to my mom about this because I feel like she'll just say suck it up and stop moping around but if I really do have depression I'll never know because my mom never takes me to the doctor. It's all really confusing to me. Oh well. Just figured I'd get everything out in the open. I dunno when I'll post again so don't be surprised if I go off and disappear again. - yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry -

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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:07 pm


	iiRawr_Destiny emotion_hug You know you can always PM me if you need to talk and I'll get on Meebo.

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:35 pm


	Gigi Deveraux iiRawr_Destiny emotion_hug You know you can always PM me if you need to talk and I'll get on Meebo. Will do emotion_hug I'm feeling better today thankfully smile

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Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 5:45 pm


	June 1st, 2013 _ yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry _ Oh god...I don't know what to do with myself...I disappeared again...I'm back now for the time being. Tonight has just been awful. I got really depressed yesterday and today it just got worse. I was studying for my finals and I just..snapped. I just started scratching my arms and my thighs...not hard enough to draw blood because I was scared...even though I wanted to..so I snapped a hair tie around my wrist because I didn't want to use a rubber band. It was just awful. It started to hurt to breathe and my hands started shaking. I've never harmed myself a day in my life...but the thought of blood dripping down my arms just took over..it's still there as I'm typing this. Fortunately, I'm too scared to actually do anything. I've had breakdowns before but not like this. I can't even talk to anyone about it because they'd think I was being overly dramatic...although truthfully some of you guys are probably thinking I am so you can ignore this if you want..I just feel so helpless and alone. Truthfully, I am alone and I think that's the problem. I don't know how to deal with this right now so I'm going to sit in the corner and just listen to music and hopefully my body will allow me to cry. _ yum_strawberry yum_cupcake yum_strawberry _

Posted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:00 am


	iiRawr_Destiny emotion_hug

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Posted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 11:02 am


	La Belle Gigi iiRawr_Destiny emotion_hug ugh i've missed you emotion_hug how ya been?

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