[PRP] Ghosts [Chel/Shun]

[chiickadee]

"Bullshit." She finally found her spine. "You been pissed or depressed or keepin' secrets fer a while." It wasn't hard to see, not for her anyways. "Yer not fine so why you keep pretendin'? Who's it better for?"  

[Blade Kuroda]

"Myself," he practically growled, "People cannot exploit what they do not know. Anything said can still get out, even to those who can keep the best of secrets."

The fetch of Jeremiah managed to strike him where it hurts all too easily. Because he had Mercer's knowledge. And he had told him a couple things.  

[chiickadee]

"Goddammit," Chel muttered, mostly to herself. She put a hand over her face. "People are gonna take advantage of you no matter what. Doesn't matter f'you leave yer life an' change yer name to some s**t like Matthias- yer still gonna have shitheads even without magic." With magic it was that much worse.

"All I want is fer you t'sleep. I don't want nothin' other than that." For him to talk to someone, for him to open up- they'd all been requests and she'd kept her distance.  

[Blade Kuroda]

"With this, I can control the damage better. There ends up being fewer people to know these things. Fewer people who can rip into me."

There were those with access to magic or knowledge of the past cycles. Or other things. They could dredge up those old demons still, and there wasn't anything he could do about that. Hell, the archives had done that. He had done that to himself.

"And I am going to sleep. Except right now I am stuck standing here arguing with you about it."  

[chiickadee]

"Who's rippin' into you?" She looked at him with confusion and hurt. "Why's-"

Her question whimpered out like a flame in the rain. It was going to end the same way it always did. Her stomach hurt still and now her chest was beginning to ache.

She averted her eyes. Playing motorcycle and visiting haunted houses. She'd forgotten for a little while. Why she didn't get into relationships or put her all into anything. People like her didn't get to be trusted. They got punched. She was a distraction, not a fixation. She could remember not to hope for more. It just hurt a little right now.

"Okay." She looked around for her phone and her pocket knife. It was the only thing she'd taken out of her pockets. "I'll go home. As long as you get some sleep."  

[Blade Kuroda]

"Does it matter who? It still happens. The moment an enemy sees those cracks in your armor? They go straight for those. So you do not expose those. For anyone."

Shun drew in a breath, running a hand through his hair.

"Whatever. I.. .I am going to sleep..." he uttered as he turned back around to continue his retreat.  

[chiickadee]

"I dunno what hurt you so bad, but ... m'sorry m'not enough," she said, clutching her side as he disappeared down the hallway and she moved towards the door.

She paused with her hand on the doorway. She didn't like leaving things like this. Even after everything he'd said, she wanted to talk more and bury the ugly parts of herself in him. She hid her cracks in other people.

But people like her didn't stay the night. He was right- it was better that way. Better for him; that was all it needed to be. It just hurt a little right now.  

[Blade Kuroda]

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It is not your responsibility. It never was."

He really didn't get her. He really didn't.  

[chiickadee]

She stood like that with her hand on the doorknob of the open door as he spoke. She could feel the cool night air outside. So close to freedom. Goddammit.

"Shun," she said quietly. The door shut. "You wanna get some air with me? We both know you ain't sleepin' anyways."  

[Blade Kuroda]

Shun fell silent. It took him awhile before he said anything else. If it weren't for the fact that he was now just standing there, it might have been a question of if he had heard Chel at all.

Hesitantly, he turned around.

"Fine."  

[chiickadee]

Chel had an equal look of "did I actually hear Shun" on her face.

She was quiet as she waited for him at the door, checking her phone only to be blinded by the light. That was quickly shoved backed in her pocket.

When he came over, she opened the door for him and followed him out. While he locked his door, she took a deep breath of the night air. A car occassionally went by but by now the streets were quiet. Only the hum of streetlights and the echos of noises farther away in the city. She didn't feel any less conflicted but it was .... a start. She could say that much.

"You wanna just ... walk?" Chel didn't want to leave alone, but she didn't want the promise of a motorcycle ride either. She wanted somewhere in between. Calm.  

[Blade Kuroda]

Shun did grab his jacket, expecting it to be kind of chilly outside. Once he had that and had locked up, he just started to make his way on town the stairs slowly.

"Walking is fine."  

[chiickadee]

For the most part they walked in silence. Chel was a bit cold thanks to her shirt not reaching past her belly button, but it actually helped numb the pain a bit so she didn't mind.

"This isn't so bad," Chel said after a while to break the silence. God she hated silences.  

[Blade Kuroda]

On the other hand, Shun felt pretty fine, given the way his jacket acclimated to the weather.

When Chel broke the silence, he glanced over at her and shrugged, "Suppose so."

As much as she hated the silence, he preferred it usually.  

[chiickadee]

"We're still friends," she concluded at least for herself. "Nobody died. And my head isn't bein' weird right now. So I'd say by our standards we're not doin' too bad."