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 Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:29 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:34 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:39 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:42 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:45 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 1:03 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 1:18 am
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Xianca-chan needs to vent ;.;
ive just moved back to columbus for many reasons. I left in the first place cause i just lost the child in my stomach and the guy i was with we were great and all...but i felt so ashamed for what i done, it was the best....but another guy i kinda had interest in pursuaded me to go to KC, MO. I did it without a blink, dropping my whole life......
now after months of tears, pain, blah blah blah, i came back to columbus to fix the relationship i was in as well as fix my life. I even got my own apartment started and enrolled into a new college. But alas, fixing a cracked relationship is tough. I currently live with him until my apartment is ready for me to move in but, we kiss, snuggle, even make out....but nothing more....
and i have to work getting his trust back...im just so worried that he wont come back to me even through all we've been through...
>_< and men are so confusing...bah
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 1:53 am
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cassie_chan Xianca-chan needs to vent ;.; ive just moved back to columbus for many reasons. I left in the first place cause i just lost the child in my stomach and the guy i was with we were great and all...but i felt so ashamed for what i done, it was the best....but another guy i kinda had interest in pursuaded me to go to KC, MO. I did it without a blink, dropping my whole life...... now after months of tears, pain, blah blah blah, i came back to columbus to fix the relationship i was in as well as fix my life. I even got my own apartment started and enrolled into a new college. But alas, fixing a cracked relationship is tough. I currently live with him until my apartment is ready for me to move in but, we kiss, snuggle, even make out....but nothing more.... and i have to work getting his trust back...im just so worried that he wont come back to me even through all we've been through... >_< and men are so confusing...bah
Y'know, you and I have a lot in common...I left Vermont...dropped my life to pursue a new one in Miami FL....and now I don't know where I stand in life anymore....I've never really felt so uncertain before...Part of me wants to drop everything (again) and return home, but part of me knows that I'll regret that if I do....I need to stay here, feel things out.....But the boy I left in Vermont still loves me, and I still love him and....
Yeah....why does life have to be so confusing? At least you get to see him again, which will help you sort out your feelings (I think). |
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 1:59 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 2:07 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 2:13 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 2:17 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:36 pm
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If you're upset, or have a problem, that's fine. I won't bother you if you do. But for gods sake, if I ask whats wrong, then don't ******** snap at me. I am getting really sick and tired of being treated badly if I ask what's wrong. If you don't feel like being bothered then that's fine. Just SAY SO. I'll leave you alone, I'm here if you feel like talking.
But you know what, I don't really care anymore. If you're going to act like that then I'm just as happy ignoring you. I'm tired if asking if your okay, I'm tired of the mood swings. I'm mean and bitter now, I don't really care anymore if you going to lash out. I'm sick of an emotional rollercoaster really. I have others things I need to worry myself with. Yeah, I'm a lot more selfish now. But I really don't care, I am done with bullshit. Honestly, I can be civil, but I can only be pushed so far until I snap and now I'm at that point. I'm not going to cry and beg for you to like me. To beg for you to be in my life. There are people who won't force me to degrade myself to get them to be happy with me.
Wow! People are just happy with me? Imagine that? You know, I really didn't. I didn't believe that I could make other happy with just me. So I would do EVERYTHING in my ******** power to make people like me. But I don't have to do that. I don't have to bend over backwards to make someone like me.
Yeah I can be busy, but I can be understanding. I JUST NEED COMMUNICATION. Some god damn communication! Even if its something thats just...I don't feel like sharing. Then thats fine. I'm AM NOT A MIND READER. So you have no right to yell at me if I ask, like I should know. But I'm always willing to talk. If I'm busy I'll tell you. If I can't talk then I'm sorry. I have a life, I have things I need to do, acomplish, stress, problems. OH MY GOD I'M A PERSON, I'M NOT PERFECT. Scary isn't it? I'm not perfect, I'm just a normal person. Someone who gets lonely often, and is tired a lot. Someone who can't deal with being ignored because it'll throw me totally off. Someone who has school, someone who is stressed about school, and getting my work done. Normal, average person.
This is probably the longest thing I've ever writen in here, but every once in a while I have that stress built up. I felt a bit better, after a friend and I talked after lunch, but I realized I had all of this on my mind and I needed to sit down and just write it out. Me and the friend both agreed how to handle the situation, but there was still this part of me, which you happen to read above, that I just wanted to get off before I finally finished it. Now, I can move on.
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Reply
Just so you know: You have someone here that'll listen too. *waves*
