Welcome to Gaia! ::

mnph.

On one hand, I've got Jesse. Nice, friendly, we're good friends, and we occasionally engage in sexual activities. It's a nice, drama-free relationship-ish thing, and I'm content with it. He's polyamorous (as am I), and I know (and am friends with!) the other people he sleeps with, which is excellent for peace of mind. He's not as cuddly after sex as he is before, but I can handle that. I usualy go to him with questions involving drama going-ons, because I can count on him to be neutral. I have never seen him sad. Frustrated, yes. He's brilliantly intelligant, and artistic as well. Also, a good number of years older than me. Makes video games for a living, but doesnt really play them recreationally, except DDR. He's insane at DDR, and is my current prefered player 2, even though he's better than me. White ocelot, as far as we can figure.

On the other hand, there's James. Sweet, and exactly my type: Rough in bed and cuddle for hours after. I have fallen for him hard, and I mean back-breakingly hard. He's soft, gentle, and cuddly as anyone I've ever encountered. He plays guitar in a band and is ******** awesome at it. While he isn't as geekcore as I am with my DnD, he does take Pokemon (the game) very seriously, like I do. We talk a lot, and share very similar interests in music. He apparently thinks I'm "beautiful" and owns handcuffs. He games, but despises DDR. He's not as old as Jesse, but still older than me. However, he is mono, and says if we are to attain the status of officially Dating, I am to be mono as well. Not furry at all, as far as I can tell, but he does have totem animals: Fox and Raven, according to his grandmother.

Dilemma. Either drop Jesse completely, or lose all hope of having anything special with James. I'm torn. A third party says I shouldn't have to compromise my polyness, and it'll only lead to pain when I fall in love again.. but I want to be with James. I really do. Im not sure if it's enough to make me want to give up Jesse, though..

I don't know what to do... I mean, these two people are the two who mean the most to me at the moment. There are't really any other ones who feature prominently in my life at all. And even thinking about choosing between them is breaking my heart.


On a lighter and completely distracting note, my roommate's baby brother is absolutely adorable.

Honestly, it seems like an easy choice when you look at it logically. While being with Jesse you may be able to sleep around with anyone you want and he'll do the same, you'll never have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Face it he is just a good friend that happens to be a ******** buddy. On the other hand James seems like someone that you can have a nice solid and long lasting relationship with.

No matter your decision it doesn't seem like you are going to lose any friends. One side of the matter is that you keep two close male friends that you happen to sleep with recreationally, but are not romantically involved and will eventually grow distant as they seek out something more serious for themselves. However if you choose to actually seek something serious then you still keep the first guy as a friend, you just wont have sex with him while at the same time gain what sounds like a loving boyfriend that will rock your world.

Personally, if you ask me, if you cannot find what you need with a single person then you are not ready for a serious relationship. The person you are with should be able to fulfill all your needs as a friend, a lover and a confidant. If they are lacking in any of these area then you probably should be with someone else. It is, however, a two way street and you should be able to make some compromises. I really don't think asking you to not sleep with other guys if you want to take the relationship to another level is all that much to ask. That is the whole point of being in a committed relationship.

True enough there are those out there with an open relationship and some even make it work. But the key to making that kind of relationship working is both being comfortable with their partner sleeping with other people while still holding onto the feeling that they only truly love each other and will remain together. So what it boils down to is, what kind of relationship do you want? Maybe neither of these guys is right for you maybe you need someone that fulfills both your needs as a strong meaningful partner while still being open with whom you sleep with.

As it stands between those two, I would go with James. As nice as it is to sleep with whomever you want, I find the idea of being with someone stable relationship more important. Ultimately it will be your choice that you have to make after thinking long and hard about what you want in life.

See, being poly is having the emotional ability to love more than one person seriously. I mean, sure, you may be able to find all the qualities you like in one person, but if you love more than one person, why should you have to choose? It's like when you have children, you love them all equally. If you love someone and then fall in love with someone else, you're love for the first person isn't diminished at all.. and tying myself down to one person seriously when honestly, I'm only 18 and a freshman in college.. well, it seems a little silly... and besides, I've already tried it.

Now, Jesse isn't as flippant as I made him sound, I'm actually quite attatched to him and I'd imagine he feels the same, since he seems to enjoy my company. We go out occasionally for sushi and a movie and such. I feel a sort of emotional bond with him, even though I may not be his primary interest, and I'd hate to have to give that up.

James, on the other hand, has more potential for seriousness, yes. But to be honest, I just broke out of a "serious" relationship after 9 months, and it ended in such a way to make myself feel nervouos considering it. Right now, I really have to see what kind of person James really turns out to be before I rule out all other options..

...but then again, I'm known for not being the best at making rational decisions. (:

I just found something out..... My father came home after a business trip... and he had a new phone. I would be pissed if it wasn't for the fact it's cheaper to do this. He now uses 2 phones. His main phone is for phones which costs him $149 a month (includes $1200 of calls) where as before it was for phone and data, costing him over $1000 a month, the new phone is just for data and costs $120 a month, but it gives him 1.8mbps while mobile.... that's faster what we have at home. Anyway I'm not too worried as this still works out cheaper. Just I didn't expect it so soon.

I have a pounding headache, but I can give advice!

@ neko: I agree wholehardedly with diana. Its much better to have someone who is stable and is your only love. You could still be friends with the other guy, just without the benifits.

Still on our topic about love...

My puppy said that after college he was going to marry me! heart He finaly has gotten over his fear of commitment, and I have gotten over my horrible mood swings which drive him crazy (yay for medication!). We havent decited on a date yet, but its going to be a fairly small-ish ceremony, mainly for our parents. I am looking foreward to the cake, though. xd

I... I really wish I knew what to say, I wish I was better with words...

Panti... as one of those that had the chance to talk with Mephi and even got to the point were I would have considered him a friend, I mean... I definatly enjoyed being around him.

He was a good guy and I mostly have good memories of him from hanging around here with us all. I am sorry for your loss... he will be missed.

*hugs Pantimime*

My where your brother is now, let him be at peace and never forget that he shall always be with you as long as you hold is memory dear.