AFG Sallies

[Leyla Giselle]

I'm sorry for your loss, Pant, and I feel remorse that Mephi and I could never get over our little tiff with each other and become friends.

On the whole poly issue, I'm mono. I've been with one guy for three years and I don't intend to change that. I can't imagine loving anyone else, and I don't think I have the ability to love anyone as seriously as I love him. I have had close friends I love, but I wouldn't date them.  

[Lady Cobra Smirk]

Thanks everyone.. I'll probably be a little more talkative later.

Leyla, I actually asked him what was going on (I hate being left out of the loop) between you and him, and NG... He said it'd been so long, he didn't know, he couldn't remember. He just stopped talking to you guys because he figured you didn't want anything to do with him. So, if it means anything, Mephi passed on without holding any grudges.

 

[LilKitty115]

I'm sorry for your loss, Pantimime. At least you can rest in knowing that he is no longer in pain and is watching over you at all times. I never really got to know him (I'm still a new-ish member of the guild), but from what I saw, he was a great person.

Blessings with you and your family.  

[shoki_de_nai]

UglyCoyoteNG

Personaly, Poly relationships have worked for people I know, and I've been in one I quite enjoyed. I agree with Neko. .:.nod.:. I prefer Poly, actualy. No one is perfect for anyone, they can't be exactly what their partner wants in every single way. So with my two other partners, I was what they wanted in some ways, while their other partners made up for the things I didn't have, and vise versa. However, if somone I am very attracted to said "I don't want to be in that sort of a relationship." and I wasn't in a poly relationship at the time, i'd agree to it, at least for a while.

I disagree, someone can be perfect for their partner. I know my mate is for me. He himself is not perfect, but as my partner he is. At the risk of sounding cliche..I'll say that we complete eachother, our strengths countering the other's flaws. He's exactly what I need, and vice versa. So, it is possible. 3nodding

As for Mephi...I never knew him well, but I know he was a big part of this guild and will be missed. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.  

[Selene Aries]

shoki_de_nai

UglyCoyoteNG

Personaly, Poly relationships have worked for people I know, and I've been in one I quite enjoyed. I agree with Neko. .:.nod.:. I prefer Poly, actualy. No one is perfect for anyone, they can't be exactly what their partner wants in every single way. So with my two other partners, I was what they wanted in some ways, while their other partners made up for the things I didn't have, and vise versa. However, if somone I am very attracted to said "I don't want to be in that sort of a relationship." and I wasn't in a poly relationship at the time, i'd agree to it, at least for a while.

I disagree, someone can be perfect for their partner. I know my mate is for me. He himself is not perfect, but as my partner he is. At the risk of sounding cliche..I'll say that we complete eachother, our strengths countering the other's flaws. He's exactly what I need, and vice versa. So, it is possible. 3nodding

As for Mephi...I never knew him well, but I know he was a big part of this guild and will be missed. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

I'll ditto everything said here. 3nodding  

[Nekoyaki]

FogSage

My take on the whole poly relationship situation.

Most guys want their women to love only them. If it's not in your power to do that, then you aren't worth their time and commitment, unless of course he also manages to be poly. To be blunt, to a straight guy, polyness is going to come off as cheating no matter what way you put it to them. Sorry, but it's the plain truth, no matter how open-minded the individual is, it's going to go down like that.

water_elemental

@ neko: I agree wholehardedly with diana. Its much better to have someone who is stable and is your only love. You could still be friends with the other guy, just without the benifits.

These are typical responses to polyamory. I dunno, it kind of feels like being told to change some major part of my life just to conform. Like, why only have one child and devote yourself to just the one when you can have two and have them love each other and you? It's not about the sex, even. It's about being loved, and loving back. I can understand being able to let go if I didn't have anything else going on, but.. I haven't even mentioned the sort of bond I have with Jesse's other girls. Addie holds me and supports me when I'm unstable, and kicks my a** when I need it.. Emily is a wonderful model and always willing to pose for a portrait.. I don't think I could give it all up.

shoki_de_nai

I disagree, someone can be perfect for their partner. I know my mate is for me. He himself is not perfect, but as my partner he is. At the risk of sounding cliche..I'll say that we complete eachother, our strengths countering the other's flaws. He's exactly what I need, and vice versa. So, it is possible. 3nodding

I'm not saying someone can't be perfect for someone, but I am saying there's is no such thing as just ONE perfect person. And usually the way it works when a poly person gets serious is someone has a primary, who is their main focus and lover, and then there are secondaries and such that aren't AS important, but are still loved and appreciated. It's kind of like a pack thing, only not really. P:

Pantimime

on the poly/mono thing, I think time should be taken dating both of them.. find out what you really want.

I think that's what I'm going to end up doing. I'm also going to try and make Jim understand that even though I love Jesse, that doesn't mean I would love him any less than I would if Jesse wasn't there. Love isn't something that can be divided amongst people, only multiplied. (:

UglyCoyoteNG

Personaly, Poly relationships have worked for people I know, and I've been in one I quite enjoyed. I agree with Neko. .:.nod.:. I prefer Poly, actualy...

*nods* See, I think most people don't understand what it feels like because they haven't even given it a shot. I think people would be more content if they knew exactly who else their partner was with, without hiding anything... *sigh* I don't know. Some people just confuse me with their jealousy.. even of people who their SO isn't even WITH anymore.. but that's just me.

Re: Mephi...
I never really knew him, but I do know that what posts of his that I've read, he seemed intelligent and caring, and from the response I gather he was important to the people in this guild.. and I'm glad he passed on quietly, as opposed to in agony. It's best that way..

May the memory of Mephi live on forever in our hearts.  

[Krissim Klaw]

Mephy will be greatly missed, there are a lot of things that I could try and say, but I think a picture is more appropriate in this case.


This is a piece that Mephy did and I think it is how he would want to be remembered, a happy occelot surrounded by friends.

 

[Selene Aries]

Frankly my dear I completely understand everything about polygamous relationships and know well that it goes beyond simply having multiple partners and that there are emotional ties.

It just happens that more often than not I have seen those sort of relationships cause a lot of heartache. No matter how much you try and convince yourself you cannot lot love multiple people equally, there is always going to be some favoritism even if it is on a subconscious level and you do not realize it.

Also your comparison to a parent's love for their children to the love for one's life partner is a little off base. Two totally different kinds of relationships and different feelings of love there. Heck, you might as well be comparing one's love for their pets to sexual partners if you are going to take that route, but either way it just does not work out that way. Because there is a difference between loving someone in the sense that you deeply care for them and being romantically in love.

It is not that I am wholly against poly relationships, I know that they can work out, but only if all parties involved work very hard at it even harder than the traditional two person relationship. Straight up to the point I have no qualms with close friends, or even siblings for that matter, that wish to enjoy a little casual sex. Because sex can be just for fun, is a great way to grow closer to someone and help ease stress. However when you start getting involved in a more serious relationship with someone sex can mean something very special between each other. It goes beyond having sex for simply having it or feeling good, but to help strengthen your bond with one another. And unless all member of a poly relationship are doing it together it is incredibly hard to achieve that same level that you would with just one partner.

Do not get me wrong I am not telling you to settle down and pick one partner already. You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you and this is the point in your life where you should still be exploring all your options and discovering what it is you really want. There are just a couple things you should keep in mind. First of all, you mention how you don't think you should change your way of life just to be with someone yet at the same time say that you want to try and change their views. Isn't that being a bit hypocritical? It is also a bit twisted too, don't you think? This guy that cares for you wants to be with you and only you and only asked that you do the same, seems a bit romantic to me, but you would rather have him and any other person that might happen to like as well. You are trying to have your cake and eat it too and it just doesn't always work that way in life.

I will end this with a spotlight on the psychological ramifications of polygamous tendencies. You may try and justify it as saying that you love more than one person and wish to be with them equally, but on a deeper level you are simply afraid. Afraid to commit to a single relationship out of fear that it may not work out and be left alone. That fear or being alone drives you to be with multiple people that you feel comfortable with and it doesn't matter if one or another breaks things off with you because you will still have someone else to fall onto.

This is not an emotionally healthy way to live one's life and maybe you will come to realize that, as you get older. As for now you are still young and I say explore life to its fullest and fallow what your heart tells you. Just don't be clouded to what is really going on and let opportunities slip away out of fear or selfishness. Life is about compromise and sometimes given up one thing for another, one should never try to have it all.
 

[Selene Aries]

Krissim Klaw

Mephy will be greatly missed, there are a lot of things that I could try and say, but I think a picture is more appropriate in this case.


This is a piece that Mephy did and I think it is how he would want to be remembered, a happy occelot surrounded by friends.

*nods and hugs Kriss* I had forgotten about that one. I can see Arty is over there in the corner. 3nodding  

[Lady Cobra Smirk]

Diana Vulpes

Krissim Klaw

Mephy will be greatly missed, there are a lot of things that I could try and say, but I think a picture is more appropriate in this case.


This is a piece that Mephy did and I think it is how he would want to be remembered, a happy occelot surrounded by friends.

[big pic]

*nods and hugs Kriss* I had forgotten about that one. I can see Arty is over there in the corner. 3nodding

What's this from? I remember seeing one or two of these guys in the works, but I never saw them all together like this. Did you edit it Kriss? o.o

 

[Krissim Klaw]

Pantimime

Diana Vulpes

Krissim Klaw

Mephy will be greatly missed, there are a lot of things that I could try and say, but I think a picture is more appropriate in this case.


This is a piece that Mephy did and I think it is how he would want to be remembered, a happy occelot surrounded by friends.

[big pic]

*nods and hugs Kriss* I had forgotten about that one. I can see Arty is over there in the corner. 3nodding

What's this from? I remember seeing one or two of these guys in the works, but I never saw them all together like this. Did you edit it Kriss? o.o

It was a picture Mephy did of a bunch of the regulars in the bar rp he had going on. Doomie auto'd an art auction for I think it was 200k where he threatened to do a big piece with everyone if the auction was auto'd

I didn't edit it, this was the full version of it that showed everyone together.  

[Lady Cobra Smirk]

Krissim Klaw

Pantimime

Diana Vulpes

Krissim Klaw

Mephy will be greatly missed, there are a lot of things that I could try and say, but I think a picture is more appropriate in this case.


This is a piece that Mephy did and I think it is how he would want to be remembered, a happy occelot surrounded by friends.

[big pic]

*nods and hugs Kriss* I had forgotten about that one. I can see Arty is over there in the corner. 3nodding

What's this from? I remember seeing one or two of these guys in the works, but I never saw them all together like this. Did you edit it Kriss? o.o

It was a picture Mephy did of a bunch of the regulars in the bar rp he had going on. Doomie auto'd an art auction for I think it was 200k where he threatened to do a big piece with everyone if the auction was auto'd

I didn't edit it, this was the full version of it that showed everyone together.

Ah, Gotcha.

 

[Leyla Giselle]

Diana Vulpes

Krissim Klaw

Mephy will be greatly missed, there are a lot of things that I could try and say, but I think a picture is more appropriate in this case.


This is a piece that Mephy did and I think it is how he would want to be remembered, a happy occelot surrounded by friends.

*nods and hugs Kriss* I had forgotten about that one. I can see Arty is over there in the corner. 3nodding

And there I am too! *points* I remember it, should have saved it when he first showed it. I rarely get art of my characters as it is  

[Eddily]

Wow, that's not something I wanted to hear right now.....

Already feel depressed enough about last night, didn't really need to hear that quite yet. I am sorry about him going. Wasn't as much as a friend as some others here, but it's still saddening.  

[FogSage]

....

Well, that news blew me away. I feel terrible now.....