|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 1:09 am
Thanks guys. I needed a little comfort.
if anyone else is interested in being nosey, feel free to ask. Its becoming more and more humorus the more I talk about it.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 1:18 am
UglyCoyoteNG Thanks guys. I needed a little comfort. if anyone else is interested in being nosey, feel free to ask. Its becoming more and more humorus the more I talk about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 1:35 am
I have am not entirely sure what is going on.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 1:50 am
I had a bad couple of hours. S'all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:24 am
UglyCoyoteNG I had a bad couple of hours. S'all. *hugs NG* Hope you are feeling better... An update on my life: I found out this thanksgiving that my sister (18 ) Is pregnant, going to keep it, dropping out of college, and marrying her boyfriend of 1 year in february. sad I thought she was better than this... Me, on the other hand, am not getting married for quite a while, am not pregnant (and never will be), and I am still attending a community college, then heading onto a university for 4 more years.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:06 am
So the whole story..ish. I think its pretty funny she thought she could just come say "Hey! I'm tired of not talking to you, I've decided we're going to be friends again!" OneBigMess ] Hannah and I have been friends for nearly ten years (two months shy of it.) and she has a hard family life. Her moms screwed up.Hannah is Christian. Not to long after my two "Soul Mates" (we were really close friends) reveiled to me they'd simply used me for my money, I had only one friend left, and that was Hannah. Hannah didn't know anything about sex, so she'd often ask me questions and such, and i'd answer them and thought nothing of it. I was the first to know she had sex with her boyfriend, and really, we had a very strong bond of trust. Hell, developed over nearly ten years! Of course its strong! We've been threw several hells,and we're both only alive because of the other for countless times. However, Hannah loves her relegion more then anything. She knew what the sisters(my two soulmates) had done to me, and knew how devistated and clingy I was to her,because i was bruised and still hurting. I eventualy, as we always do, told her I was bi. She was curiouse. Despite us both having boyfriends, while we were laying in bed, (we slept on the same bed) she asked me about it. I told her truths, and she seemed still curiouse.She then, proceeded to sit up,straddle me, and kiss me, and ask if I'd like to do dirty things with her. Of course I would.Duh. She's beautiful and I had a slight crush on her anyway.Nothing seriouse. Just innocent crushes.I told her I wanted to, but we both had, at the time, boyfriends. I couldn't do it. After that day, she avoided me. I had to practicly drug her to ger her to talk to me, and I finealy confessed I had a small,innocent crush on her.She began to avoid me more. She avoided me like the plague.As if even thinking of spending time with me would give her some hideouse cancer. I grew lonely, and sad. She avoided me, unless I bribed her, pretty much. Finealy, I called her on it. I told her friends don't avoid friends like they're freakin' black death. We got in a fight, and it came down to it, she didn't want to assossiate with me because I liked girls. She said it was disgusting and wrong and against god. When I told her she was a hypcrite,she was a theif, and couldn't keep her legs shut, she told me that she would be forgiven for her sins. But I wouldn't. I'd be going to hell because of it.We stopped speaking.Three months later, today. She called me, I turned off the ringer, and txted her "If you want to talk,txt. I don't want to hear your voice." She txted back "XD,eh,nan,its been forever.Yeah that was a doozie of an argument,N' not even spoken words were slung. I'm sorry, but i don't want to end a friendship that started when we were kids over texts.I've known you to long, Your to much like a sister to me to shuck off like that." so I responded "Fine.Call me then." and I went into my moms room and told her the situation. Mom looked at me strangey (she knows the whole situation) and said "Are you going to forgive her?" I said HAYL no. She said "Okay, your choice. But remember, you might regret it." which is true, i might. So I panniced and asked several peoplefor there opinons. Then she called. She was firm with her point, appologized for how she treated me and the fact she threw our friendship out like that, and was passive. I on the other hand, was agressive,angry, and yelling. I wasn't going to be sweet at all. I asked her "How could you Throw away over nine years of friendship for somthing I can't fix!?" she said she didn't support it, but she accepted me being it. I was yelling at her for a good ten min, but then, suddenly, that anger gave way. I was shaking, and then I started sobbing. I could hardly speak. I explained everything to her. How I felt disgusted, how she'd abandoned me when I needed her most, how she'd betrayed me, how things have changed. I sobbed alot and I think I cried probably a full glass of water. We talked about things, and I calmed down. I told her the truth. I needed her. I really needed her. When had I ever truely needed her before? Never. When had she needed me? Many times. I told her that I knew she was religous,but we're friends. We put unimaginable trust in each other. we were ike SISTERS. how could she? I needed her most. I told her "You don't have to support it, but I need you to support me." and she not only agreed, and helped me up, but then she dropped me. She told me that the whole kisses thing, and the "i love you" she'd said was just to test "How bad the problem was." The problem was, me liking girls. I kept asking how could she. She said she'd just felt awkward, and paniced. She kept appologizing, and I was pretty mad. I grew even toned eventualy, and we continued to talk. She kept repeating the answer,and I told her to put her into my place -- your two soulmates had been using you, which was a seriouse wound. Then to have her use me, play games with me, and throw our friendship away, when I had no one to help me. She just said "I'm a horrable person, happy now?" and i told her flatly. "Your not a horrable person. Your a disgraceful person, in my eyes." and she started to cry. She yelled at me,and I told her what she'd done to me.I saught approval from her, and now, every time I get the slightest warm feeling from a girl, even if its friendly, I emedietly push them away, and feel disgusting, sick,guilty..ashamed...like a disease or an animal. I kept thinking of her saying "I was just seeing how bad the problem was." So I asked her "Why did you even bother calling? You seem to think you know me. Why would you call?" an she told me she wanted to reconsile. Apparently, its superior to want to appologize, and Iwas being chilish for not accepting. I asked her what she'd do in my situation, and she told me, she'd give me a wary chance. I asked her "If you stick your hand in an aligators mouth, and it bit you, would you hesitently stick your hand in its mouth again?" because thats what its like. She kept trying to appologize,and also console my sobs,and reconsile. She tried diffrent tactics, trying to make me feel bad or sorry for her, or trying to make me feel stupid,stubborn or childish for forgiving her. She finealy said "I got to go to bed. I'll call you tomrrow." I told her flatly "hannah? Don't call.Ever. Don't ever call me back. You dug your grave, now lay in it." and she said "okay." and we hung up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:09 am
[quote="UglyCoyoteNG Kakky- You have every right to be angrey with somone for doing those things. I know it's not like they have to report every little thing to you, but is it to much to ask for them to tell you things that are going to directly effect you? I dislike lies, too. More so, I feel sorry for the lier, because they're simply bringing trouble on themselves. Lies are figured out. Always.I know a bit about that one too, unfortunetly. It's not technicly lieing, but its still dishonest and low. Its like saying "SoAndSo hit me!" and you of course, go on to snap at SoAndSo at the defence of your friend, only to be told by SoAndSo that your friend started it.Then you look like an idiot. Somthing to keep in mind always, is theres two sides to every coin, and two sides to every story. Innocent until proven guilty. While it's understandable some things come up and they can't do said thing, but it's very rude not to tell you they've changed there mind. Very inconsiderete indeed.We all hate to be misled and lied to. Who actualy likes looking like a fool because a friends' words were untrue? I see it as friends are our "leashes" in life, to us, the blind dog. We put our trust in them not to lead us astray and into trouble. We can't see, so we don't know if they are leading us in the right direction, and thus, we trust them to make the right choice. People seem to expect others to be mind readers, when its simply unfair! How are you supposed to know somthing when you've never been told it!? I'll never understand why people get so irritated when you don't know somthing you haven't been told. If I were you, i'd get a few opinions on if this said person lied to you. As in give them the situation and then ask if they think its a lie. If you still belive it is, confront the person passivly. It's the smartest thing to do. If you harbor agressive feelings twords somone for long enough, and then find out that they are innocent, not only will you possably feel guilty, but in most cases, your agression dosen't stop. Instead, it becomes a confused and blind sort of subtle rage, where you snap at somone, or pick at them when they aren't really doing anything wrong.Friendship is a rough sea, and to keep in the same boat, both parties must work to keep the boat from not only flipping over, but going in the right direction. Friends truely need to be honest to their friends.That friend might really need your genuine honestly. Maybe he or she needs you to tell them how you feel. With confrontation of this sort though, its better to be passive but honest, and to never place the blame on them by saying "you" in somthing like "Your rude to me!" you'd want to say "I don't like the way i'm treated sometimes." or if you insinuate blame, do it gentley but honestly! If you want to talk, Kakky, you can PM me,DevNote me (UglyCoyoteNG.deviantart.com), AIM me (UglyCoyoteNG),MSN me (UglyCoyoteNG@hotmail.com), or YIM me (UglyCoyoteNG) to talk about it, or just to chat. I'm almost always here to listen. :3=-=---~---=-=
Thanks NG.. I really appicate it. I'll keep that in mind.
Good luck with your animals.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 4:09 am
UglyCoyoteNG So the whole story..ish. I think its pretty funny she thought she could just come say "Hey! I'm tired of not talking to you, I've decided we're going to be friends again!" OneBigMess ] Hannah and I have been friends for nearly ten years (two months shy of it.) and she has a hard family life. Her moms screwed up.Hannah is Christian. Not to long after my two "Soul Mates" (we were really close friends) reveiled to me they'd simply used me for my money, I had only one friend left, and that was Hannah. Hannah didn't know anything about sex, so she'd often ask me questions and such, and i'd answer them and thought nothing of it. I was the first to know she had sex with her boyfriend, and really, we had a very strong bond of trust. Hell, developed over nearly ten years! Of course its strong! We've been threw several hells,and we're both only alive because of the other for countless times. However, Hannah loves her relegion more then anything. She knew what the sisters(my two soulmates) had done to me, and knew how devistated and clingy I was to her,because i was bruised and still hurting. I eventualy, as we always do, told her I was bi. She was curiouse. Despite us both having boyfriends, while we were laying in bed, (we slept on the same bed) she asked me about it. I told her truths, and she seemed still curiouse.She then, proceeded to sit up,straddle me, and kiss me, and ask if I'd like to do dirty things with her. Of course I would.Duh. She's beautiful and I had a slight crush on her anyway.Nothing seriouse. Just innocent crushes.I told her I wanted to, but we both had, at the time, boyfriends. I couldn't do it. After that day, she avoided me. I had to practicly drug her to ger her to talk to me, and I finealy confessed I had a small,innocent crush on her.She began to avoid me more. She avoided me like the plague.As if even thinking of spending time with me would give her some hideouse cancer. I grew lonely, and sad. She avoided me, unless I bribed her, pretty much. Finealy, I called her on it. I told her friends don't avoid friends like they're freakin' black death. We got in a fight, and it came down to it, she didn't want to assossiate with me because I liked girls. She said it was disgusting and wrong and against god. When I told her she was a hypcrite,she was a theif, and couldn't keep her legs shut, she told me that she would be forgiven for her sins. But I wouldn't. I'd be going to hell because of it.We stopped speaking.Three months later, today. She called me, I turned off the ringer, and txted her "If you want to talk,txt. I don't want to hear your voice." She txted back "XD,eh,nan,its been forever.Yeah that was a doozie of an argument,N' not even spoken words were slung. I'm sorry, but i don't want to end a friendship that started when we were kids over texts.I've known you to long, Your to much like a sister to me to shuck off like that." so I responded "Fine.Call me then." and I went into my moms room and told her the situation. Mom looked at me strangey (she knows the whole situation) and said "Are you going to forgive her?" I said HAYL no. She said "Okay, your choice. But remember, you might regret it." which is true, i might. So I panniced and asked several peoplefor there opinons. Then she called. She was firm with her point, appologized for how she treated me and the fact she threw our friendship out like that, and was passive. I on the other hand, was agressive,angry, and yelling. I wasn't going to be sweet at all. I asked her "How could you Throw away over nine years of friendship for somthing I can't fix!?" she said she didn't support it, but she accepted me being it. I was yelling at her for a good ten min, but then, suddenly, that anger gave way. I was shaking, and then I started sobbing. I could hardly speak. I explained everything to her. How I felt disgusted, how she'd abandoned me when I needed her most, how she'd betrayed me, how things have changed. I sobbed alot and I think I cried probably a full glass of water. We talked about things, and I calmed down. I told her the truth. I needed her. I really needed her. When had I ever truely needed her before? Never. When had she needed me? Many times. I told her that I knew she was religous,but we're friends. We put unimaginable trust in each other. we were ike SISTERS. how could she? I needed her most. I told her "You don't have to support it, but I need you to support me." and she not only agreed, and helped me up, but then she dropped me. She told me that the whole kisses thing, and the "i love you" she'd said was just to test "How bad the problem was." The problem was, me liking girls. I kept asking how could she. She said she'd just felt awkward, and paniced. She kept appologizing, and I was pretty mad. I grew even toned eventualy, and we continued to talk. She kept repeating the answer,and I told her to put her into my place -- your two soulmates had been using you, which was a seriouse wound. Then to have her use me, play games with me, and throw our friendship away, when I had no one to help me. She just said "I'm a horrable person, happy now?" and i told her flatly. "Your not a horrable person. Your a disgraceful person, in my eyes." and she started to cry. She yelled at me,and I told her what she'd done to me.I saught approval from her, and now, every time I get the slightest warm feeling from a girl, even if its friendly, I emedietly push them away, and feel disgusting, sick,guilty..ashamed...like a disease or an animal. I kept thinking of her saying "I was just seeing how bad the problem was." So I asked her "Why did you even bother calling? You seem to think you know me. Why would you call?" an she told me she wanted to reconsile. Apparently, its superior to want to appologize, and Iwas being chilish for not accepting. I asked her what she'd do in my situation, and she told me, she'd give me a wary chance. I asked her "If you stick your hand in an aligators mouth, and it bit you, would you hesitently stick your hand in its mouth again?" because thats what its like. She kept trying to appologize,and also console my sobs,and reconsile. She tried diffrent tactics, trying to make me feel bad or sorry for her, or trying to make me feel stupid,stubborn or childish for forgiving her. She finealy said "I got to go to bed. I'll call you tomrrow." I told her flatly "hannah? Don't call.Ever. Don't ever call me back. You dug your grave, now lay in it." and she said "okay." and we hung up.
I can see why you didn't forgive her (and should never forgive her). I hope you're feeling better after all that has happened. Just remember, we're here for you if you need us.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 6:13 am
Ok, I am going home today. This means that I will have limited ability to get on to the computer. I'll be back sometime around winter break when I'll be at my grandmothers for almost a month. Oh and Summer.
Some of you know that when I came down to my grandmother's it was because I didn't have a home, we had just got kicked out of ours due to my puppy. (pooh on the person who kicked us out) Well not any more. We are buying a house. whee It has a huge yard and it's next to a forest protection place! Me and Kiba (my puppy) are going to love it!
Oh and Kiba says that his birthday it the 29th he'll be 2!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 6:21 am
NGMessHannah and I have been friends for nearly ten years (two months shy of it.) and she has a hard family life. Her moms screwed up.Hannah is Christian. Not to long after my two "Soul Mates" (we were really close friends) reveiled to me they'd simply used me for my money, I had only one friend left, and that was Hannah. Hannah didn't know anything about sex, so she'd often ask me questions and such, and i'd answer them and thought nothing of it. I was the first to know she had sex with her boyfriend, and really, we had a very strong bond of trust. Hell, developed over nearly ten years! Of course its strong! We've been threw several hells,and we're both only alive because of the other for countless times. However, Hannah loves her relegion more then anything. She knew what the sisters(my two soulmates) had done to me, and knew how devistated and clingy I was to her,because i was bruised and still hurting. I eventualy, as we always do, told her I was bi. She was curiouse. Despite us both having boyfriends, while we were laying in bed, (we slept on the same bed) she asked me about it. I told her truths, and she seemed still curiouse.She then, proceeded to sit up,straddle me, and kiss me, and ask if I'd like to do dirty things with her. Of course I would.Duh. She's beautiful and I had a slight crush on her anyway.Nothing seriouse. Just innocent crushes.I told her I wanted to, but we both had, at the time, boyfriends. I couldn't do it. After that day, she avoided me. I had to practicly drug her to ger her to talk to me, and I finealy confessed I had a small,innocent crush on her.She began to avoid me more. She avoided me like the plague.As if even thinking of spending time with me would give her some hideouse cancer. I grew lonely, and sad. She avoided me, unless I bribed her, pretty much. Finealy, I called her on it. I told her friends don't avoid friends like they're freakin' black death. We got in a fight, and it came down to it, she didn't want to assossiate with me because I liked girls. She said it was disgusting and wrong and against god. When I told her she was a hypcrite,she was a theif, and couldn't keep her legs shut, she told me that she would be forgiven for her sins. But I wouldn't. I'd be going to hell because of it.We stopped speaking.Three months later, today. She called me, I turned off the ringer, and txted her "If you want to talk,txt. I don't want to hear your voice." She txted back "XD,eh,nan,its been forever.Yeah that was a doozie of an argument,N' not even spoken words were slung. I'm sorry, but i don't want to end a friendship that started when we were kids over texts.I've known you to long, Your to much like a sister to me to shuck off like that." so I responded "Fine.Call me then." and I went into my moms room and told her the situation. Mom looked at me strangey (she knows the whole situation) and said "Are you going to forgive her?" I said HAYL no. She said "Okay, your choice. But remember, you might regret it." which is true, i might. So I panniced and asked several peoplefor there opinons. Then she called. She was firm with her point, appologized for how she treated me and the fact she threw our friendship out like that, and was passive. I on the other hand, was agressive,angry, and yelling. I wasn't going to be sweet at all. I asked her "How could you Throw away over nine years of friendship for somthing I can't fix!?" she said she didn't support it, but she accepted me being it. I was yelling at her for a good ten min, but then, suddenly, that anger gave way. I was shaking, and then I started sobbing. I could hardly speak. I explained everything to her. How I felt disgusted, how she'd abandoned me when I needed her most, how she'd betrayed me, how things have changed. I sobbed alot and I think I cried probably a full glass of water. We talked about things, and I calmed down. I told her the truth. I needed her. I really needed her. When had I ever truely needed her before? Never. When had she needed me? Many times. I told her that I knew she was religous,but we're friends. We put unimaginable trust in each other. we were ike SISTERS. how could she? I needed her most. I told her "You don't have to support it, but I need you to support me." and she not only agreed, and helped me up, but then she dropped me. She told me that the whole kisses thing, and the "i love you" she'd said was just to test "How bad the problem was." The problem was, me liking girls. I kept asking how could she. She said she'd just felt awkward, and paniced. She kept appologizing, and I was pretty mad. I grew even toned eventualy, and we continued to talk. She kept repeating the answer,and I told her to put her into my place -- your two soulmates had been using you, which was a seriouse wound. Then to have her use me, play games with me, and throw our friendship away, when I had no one to help me. She just said "I'm a horrable person, happy now?" and i told her flatly. "Your not a horrable person. Your a disgraceful person, in my eyes." and she started to cry. She yelled at me,and I told her what she'd done to me.I saught approval from her, and now, every time I get the slightest warm feeling from a girl, even if its friendly, I emedietly push them away, and feel disgusting, sick,guilty..ashamed...like a disease or an animal. I kept thinking of her saying "I was just seeing how bad the problem was." So I asked her "Why did you even bother calling? You seem to think you know me. Why would you call?" an she told me she wanted to reconsile. Apparently, its superior to want to appologize, and Iwas being chilish for not accepting. I asked her what she'd do in my situation, and she told me, she'd give me a wary chance. I asked her "If you stick your hand in an aligators mouth, and it bit you, would you hesitently stick your hand in its mouth again?" because thats what its like. She kept trying to appologize,and also console my sobs,and reconsile. She tried diffrent tactics, trying to make me feel bad or sorry for her, or trying to make me feel stupid,stubborn or childish for forgiving her. She finealy said "I got to go to bed. I'll call you tomrrow." I told her flatly "hannah? Don't call.Ever. Don't ever call me back. You dug your grave, now lay in it." and she said "okay." and we hung up.
I know how that is. was best friends with someone for over 11 years and then she decided I wasn't cool enough to hang out with her, but she didn't tell me directly, she just started avoiding me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:33 pm
~Cuddles NG~ I'm so sorry sweetie. You know you could have called me, right? I will never mind if you call me, for anything.
@_@ Onnnn to Sheolies' weekend. So, as everyone knows, I left Wednesday night to go to my friend Traci's for the holiday. We sat up all night and laughed, then got up the next day and spent all of it cleaning and cooking. We didn't eat at all till 7:30pm, and then, I was so happy. It was just me, Traci and Mommy eating a quiet dinner together. We were highly congratulated, only our crossients burnt and just the bottoms of those. I didn't set anything on fire! Dinner and the preparation of it were filled with laughter. We played music, danced, and roughhoused around as me and her do. I think I ran around the house too many times though. X3 Anyways, the horror of Thanksgiving. At 11:30pm, we decided we wanted a casual drink together. Nothing serious, coke and rum, that was it. One drink.
Bloody hell. Traci put two inches of rum in my cup and a full can of coke. I'm staring at it, and because I'm STUPID AS ********, I grabbed a straw and just took a straight drink. Traci's on the phone with her boyfriend (and my close friend) Brandon, so she tells him all about the face I'm making. She stirs it up, I add more coke, and take a sip. God. I didn't drink anymore than that. We watched An American Haunting and the Omen, and we went to bed after about four hours of just friend-talk.
Next day, I sit up and we go about our daily business. Cleaning up the house, fetching wood for the fire place from the forest, blah. By the way, we didn't wake at all till 2:30. So night comes fast. We watch An American Haunting again, I go and get my leftover rum and coke, sit down. And just drank it all in less than five minutes. My stomach hurt so bad. Remember when I said I couldn't handle alcohol? I meant it. So, I'm drunk and sick, and I want to cuddle. Traci doesn't want to cuddle me, she's in a no touchie mood. I'm so wasted I'm NOT having that, I forced her to cuddle. She was sitting up, and I'm curled up on the floor next to her with my head on her lap and my arm wrapped around her legs so she can't get away. (She laughed later.) Finally, she gives up and readjusts me and herself so she's more comfortable, undoes my bra and starts rubbing my back. I'm nearly asleep, making little sick sounds, and her dad knocks on the door. So she has to get up. Apparently I started whining when she got up, not like saying "Aww, come back" but little animalistic whines and I curled up tightly. She came back and got me resituated. After a while, she got me up and we watched Saved! and I ate a candy cane. I was really tired, but woke back up.
I did some art, by the way, a project that isn't completely done. Traci refused to let me near my laptop for very long. Three pieces. She yelled at me 'cause I'm good at art.
Funny thing is that I only came home because there's an incoming snow storm due to hit tomorrow. Traci and I normally have this 48-72 hour limit on each other, we managed 67 and would have gone longer. The funny thing to our limit is that if we're by ourselves alone, we're fine for days. But if we have to spend time with others, someone save us. X3 We spent most of the time together at night, and slept during most of the day, so we were mostly alone.
Her only complaint was that I tried to suffocate her in her sleep with my pillow (we always share a bed) and I retorted that I wouldn't have done it if she had been cuddling me like she's supposed to. >> She hates cuddling me. She's never in a mood to cuddle when I am! Only when I don't want to be touched. You know you've got a good friend, though, when she refuses to let you or herself go to the bathroom alone. Even to shower. We both took showers with each other in the bathroom, planted somewhere, and went to piss and stuff with the other in there. I have no idea why. We just did. Mebbe because we were scaring each other with ghost stories? Iono. @_@ She called me a city girl a lot. Not my fault I live in town while she lives out in the boonies.
Her boyfriend promised to take me and her out to the shooting range when he's back for Christmas. Collin's called me five times already, and I hadn't told anyone but Traci checked my phone records. I have got to get a gun and get shooting lessons. And the permit. I'm terrified of Collin. Brandon sat on the phone with me for two hours, explaining everything about guns and what gun I should get, the protocols, and the cleaning. I really know nothing about them, and it was hard to absorb all of that. Traci kept looking up at me on the phone and going, "What're you guys talking about?" I'm like, "Guns." He asked me if I knew what an M-16 was, I replied, "It's a .. gun?" He asked if I knew what an AK-47 was, I was all wary, "It.. shoots bullets..?" Shows you my knowledge of guns. Anyways. He's gonna help me learn a bit and when I have the money and the permit, pick out a gun. I thought that I'd be okay for a while 'cause boot camp's like 6-8 weeks, or so. And Collin's in bootcamp. But exactly a month to the day that he stopped calling, he started again. I jump when I hear my phone ring. I'm terrified. I hate being terrified like this. It's not a good scary. It's a Bad one. I'm really scared that he'll find me again. And if he does. I want to be ready to defend myself. I can't fight, I'm really very weak physically. I talk big and sound tough, but my close friends and Collin know how weak I am. If he comes near me, I want to be able to stop him and defend myself. I'm not going to play his victim. I refuse to be another one of his cowering slave girls, I left him in sophmore year. I'm two years out of highschool now. I don't care if there's not another like me or he's willing to give up his 'perfect version of me' for the real thing. I won't be put back in that situation. I'm terrified. And I'm Tired of it.
Okay. Sheolies' is done ranting. Ya'all can read something else.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:35 pm
Thank everyone who responded with such kind words about Redrum's passing. It means a lot to me to know people care in the guild.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:21 pm
Krissim Klaw Thank everyone who responded with such kind words about Redrum's passing. It means a lot to me to know people care in the guild. Of course we care, you're a great person and I'd imagine that near everyone in the guild knows and likes you. And we all mourn with you, we know how much each of your mantises means to you. I dunno about everyone else, but you've told so many mantis stories that it's almost like I knew them myself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:42 am
shoki_de_nai Krissim Klaw Thank everyone who responded with such kind words about Redrum's passing. It means a lot to me to know people care in the guild. Of course we care, you're a great person and I'd imagine that near everyone in the guild knows and likes you. And we all mourn with you, we know how much each of your mantises means to you. I dunno about everyone else, but you've told so many mantis stories that it's almost like I knew them myself. yeah.. and it's really hard losing something you care about. but we're all here for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:53 am
shoki_de_nai Krissim Klaw Thank everyone who responded with such kind words about Redrum's passing. It means a lot to me to know people care in the guild. ...but you've told so many mantis stories that it's almost like I knew them myself. Couldn't be farther from the truth!! We love you, Kris, and all your little babies too. Of course we care, and we're here to support you through the hard times. Heaven only knows how often you've been there for all of us. 4laugh
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
