[$] Not Myself [Avengers rp] (MDaylus)

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki stopped when he felt the sharp tug on his hair and looked back to Tony. Red eyes looked worried and guilty as they found Tony, but his mind was still spinning though it was slower. "I could have, I mean I wanted. I wanted you to, I could have forced the thought made you. Yggrasil i'm sorry." Loki tried to explained apologizing again. Despite Tony telling him it was okay it didn't feel like it, especially if he had forced Tony to do something against his will. The thought of that made the god queasy.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Sighing, Tony shook his head. Letting Loki speak for a moment longer, he finally leaned forward, kissing him hard, mind pressing against Loki’s more, trying to press the fact that he was okay with it through the bond. Not pulling away for a long moment, he met Loki’s eyes carefully. “It’s alright Loki. Am I complaining? I love the bond. I want it with you. If I’d known it was in danger, I would’ve tried to fix it sooner.” He assured the god.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki didn't know what Tony meant by the shake of his head, however the kiss and mind pressing against his was clear. Those actions caused Loki's spinning thoughts to slow more until they were near quiet, just background noise. "No..." Loki responded when Tony asked if it seemed like he was complaining. Hearing the man say he loved the bond and wanted it with Loki caused the god to relax more. "I did try to tell you but to be fair no one but Thor or my mother could understand me at the time." Loki stated softly. "Your not mad that I may have forced it, that my wants may have bled into your mind and caused you to do it?" Loki questioned still a bit fearful in that sense. He worried that he had done such and that he may have caused damage like Sif had. That thought had Loki gently probbing Tony's mind with his own.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony let out a snort at Loki’s worries, rolling his eyes slightly. “Loki…I doubt there is anything you or anyone else force me to do.” He said dryly. “If terrorists torturing me, and your magic staff couldn’t make me do anything, couldn’t control me, you certainly wouldn’t be able to make me do something I didn’t want to do unintentionally.” Slowly rubbing Loki’s back, Tony closed his eyes. “If there was influence on your part, then I likely wanted to do it on some level to begin with. I wanted to be close to you again, I wanted to figure out how to start…..fixing things. That wasn’t just you.”
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki blinked when Tony gave a snort to his words and then proclaimed that he doubted that there was anything or anyone that could force him to do something. "The magic staff wasn't really me and no one has been as connected as we are." Loki argued but his heart wasn't in it. In truth Tony's words made him feel better with the confidence the man had in himself. Snuggling into the man as he began to rub his back he gave a shuddered breath. "Promise?" Loki questioned just as the last assurance to his mind.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony gave a hum. “Promise.” He whispered, kissing Loki’s forehead and waiting for the god to settle more fully again. Just taking the time to hold the man, he looked around their room, losing himself to his thoughts for a few minutes. There was so much information he now had running through his head, so much to process. He wasn’t even sure where to start, but he wasn’t in a hurry to sort it out at that very moment. Finally, he focused in on a question and looked back to his mate. “You said the bond is….better now? What does that mean?” he asked carefully.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki sighed in relief when Tony promised him that Loki had had nothing or little to do with what had happened. LOki stayed snuggled into Tony then as he allowed the bond to settle fully and not have his body act like a nerve ending. Red eyes opened when Tony asked a question. "It was fading, at least on my end. It was harder to feel you, send things to you. I could see it, like a bridge where it was crumbling inwards hanging on by bits." Loki stated softly. "Now its full, pristine and our children have twined into it." he continued.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony blinked, head tilting slightly. “The twins?’ he asked slowly. Experimentally probing the bond, his brows furrowed. “I don’t sense them…Is it a mother thing you think? Or a Jotun thing?” Biting his lip, he glanced towards Loki’s stomach. He hoped there wasn’t something else wrong now. But then again he couldn’t begin to understand this bond of theirs, not really. And he obviously wasn’t as attuned to it as Loki was to begin with. If he’d missed the extent of the damage to the bond, then there was no telling what else he’d miss.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

"Yes the twins have twined their bonds with us into our own." Loki explained. Feeling the man prod experimentally Loki moved his consciousness to Tony's to show him how to feel out their children within their bond. "I don't know, I've always been able to sense my children but this is the first time they've had a bond to connect to besides their own with me." Loki explained. He had no idea if it was a Jotun thing, seemed like one more thing he needed to ask his brothers from Jotunhiem.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony followed Loki’s example and gave a small hum. He could feel something very faintly. Something that was like Loki and Tony, yet not. It took too much focus to hold onto that little glimmer though, so after a moment, he backed off again, wrinkling his nose slightly as he did. After a moment though, his head popped up and he looked to Loki with a small portion of horror. “Oh no….What if this means they’re going to be able to read our thoughts when they’re older? Hear and see what we send across the bond?’ he asked quickly, suddenly imagining all of the horrible ways that could go wrong.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki watched Tony as the man felt out the bond. When the man pulled back and wrinkle his nose the god looked at the man curiously. When Tony suddenly had a look of horror on his face the god panicked for a moment before the genius spoke. Then Loki merely laughed for a moment. "I don't think thats quite how it works. At least with my other children don't have that ability." Loki explained. It was amusing to think of how that could be detrimental having their children listen to their thoughts. They could however shield their thoughts if it came to that.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony studied Loki’s face for a moment, trying to judge the god’s words. Finally he nodded and relaxed. “Well that’s good.” He mumbled. “That would’ve led to…..some awkward conversations….” Running a hand over his face, he let out a sigh. This was a roller coaster already, and the kids weren’t even here yet. Leaning back against the headboard again, he closed his eyes for a moment as he thought. So much to do still, so much to take care of and adjust. How was anyone ever supposed to get used to this? Be prepared for this? Absently, he let his fingers trace lines up and down Loki’s back, needing the movement to stay still otherwise.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki smiled at Tony when the man calmed after hearing Loki say that they shouldn't have to worry about such things. "I am sure it would have but you have to remember that we can shield ourselves too if we need to." Loki reminded. He let Tony sit back and think for a little while just reveling in the closeness once more. Especially when the man began to rub a hand up and down the god's back. He had missed this, all of it. Just relaxing against Tony and doing nothing but that. Being able to feel like he could breathe again with the man beside him. He would never leave again then he was sure.  

[MDaylus]

Alikia Tsuki

Tony continued to sit in silence for a few long minutes, mind spinning in circles. Finally he muttered to himself and shook his head. Turning, he pressed his lips to Loki’s hair for a moment before he nudged the god to sit back himself. When his lover was comfortable, he shifted, moving down to push Loki’s tunic up so he could get to the god’s belly. Smiling to himself, he pressed a few soft kisses against the skin, settling down to whisper conspiratorially at the twins, murmured directly against Loki’s skin, carefully stroking Loki’s sides to offer some comfort in return for letting him speak to the babies like this.
 

[Alikia Tsuki]

MDaylus

Loki sat content in Tony's arms until the man muttered to himself and shook his head. At that time the god gave a quizical noise as a kiss was pressed to his head again. Then he was being urged to shift which he did a bit hesitantly not wanting to be away from tony, but the man seemed to shift with him. Sitting against the head board with pillows he watched tony shift away a bit and bit back a noise of discontent. It was when the man stopped at his stomach and shifted his shirt up that he merely watched returning the smile given to him with a gentle one of his own. As tony began to speak with the twins and stroke his sides he settled into watch. Having his stomach uncovered made him a bit anxious but the genius knew how to pacify him.