Lines You'll Never Hear

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Luke: Obi-wan told me YOU killed my father.
Vader: No luke. *distorted* I AM IRON MAN!
Luke: NOOOOO!!!!  

[HereticX]

Darth Vader: "Who's your daddy now, punk?"  

[Nospai Deathous]

((wow.. i'm almost pissing myself, you guys are on a roll))

Han: Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew...
Leia: He wasn't. I can feel it.
Han: .......You love him, don't you?
Leia: Well.. yes.
Han: Oh, phew! Alright, cause Chewie and me decided to get married.
Leia: .......He's my brother.
Han: Hey, if incest's your thing...*shrug* Me, it's wookies.
Leia: ...Oh, I'm so glad you understand! Ever since we met, I haven't been able to keep my hands or lips off of him!
Han: Yeah, I know what that's like. *winks at Chewie suggestively*
Chewie: *winks back*

Wicket: *scarred for life*  

[Sol Walker]

((that would scar anyone for life.))  

[HereticX]

Jedi Master: "Right, now that you are a Padawn, you must build your lightsaber. What kind do you wish to have?"
Padawan: "Hmm...I like the big, throbbin' red ones."

Jedi Doorguard (in Episode III): "Ah, Anakin? Is that you? What's go-urk" *dead*
Darth Vader: "...SHANKED!"  

[Nospai Deathous]

((XDDDDD))

Scout trooper (1) on endor: Look at this one, Marty! Its petals are the most beautiful shades of pink!
Scout trooper 2: Oh, wow! That's pretty!
ST1: I know. I think I'll take it to my ma when I get home, so she can put it in her hair.
ST2: How sweet. You're my BEEEEST FRIEEEEND!
ST1: BFF!! BFF!!
both: *dance*
ST1: oops.. dropped my flower...
Han: *comes after him ready to knock him out, steps on flower* *"huh?" look*
ST1: *gets up* Hey! ...That was for my mommy.. crying
Han: Aw. I'm sorry. I'll help you find another one.
ST1&2: Yay!
ST2: You know, you Rebels aren't so bad after all.
Han: *evil grin* Yeah, we really aren't eh? *knocks one out with his blaster*
Chewie: *knocks the other one out with his bowcaster*
Leia: *clutching Luke* We're safe, but for how long?

((whoever gets the reference of th elast line gets 300 gold))  

[Sol Walker]

((crap. that sounds like an Old Sci Fi Line...))  

[Nospai Deathous]

((you're pretty close))  

[Sol Walker]

Nospai Deathous

((you're pretty close))

((This Island Earth?))  

[Nospai Deathous]

((it's a spoof of a sci-fi genre, where the line comes from))  

[HereticX]

Yoda: "Force-practice have you enough. Now go you must, for irritating much you have become..."
Luke: *X-Wing bouncing up and down* "Low-Rid-Er! My Lowrider is a little higher!"  

[Darkened Angel]

* the Falcon suddenly appears outta nowhere, with disco music blaring through space *

Nerd: You know, Mr. Solo, that this is scientifically impossible, as sound cannot travel through the emptiness of space.
Han: You know, Mr. Nerd-about-to-get-his-a**-blown-off, that you've said that already everywhere I go. This is the SW universe, you idiot! Besides, when I pimped out the Falcon, I included the Space-Sound System. It breaks that little " no sound in space " rule.
Nerd: Fine. But THIS!? * claps hands 2x *

* a soda dispenser emerges *

Han: What? It's convenient. What if I'm stuck aboard for hours on end and I get thirsty?

Nerd: But there are no bathrooms at all, ANYWHERE in this crazy universe.
Han: That's it. I've had it with your logical reasoning. CHEWWIE!

* Chewwie comes in, wearing bell-bottom pants, and his head fur in an afro *

Han: Snack time!
Chewwie: RAAAARR! * grabs Nerd *
Nerd: What? No! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
* chomp *  

[Ryuu Kuro]

*vader after getting his helmet on*

*rips helmet off*
THI HELMET IS SHAVING MY EYEBROWS! gonk  

[Nelowulf]

((the line is "Chaffing my eyebrows"))  

[Missing00]

*after a conference with the admirals*

Needa: Farewell Emperor Palpatine.
Palpy: Bye. Now what do I do?........Ooh I know. *puts on a Grateful Dead record and lights up a joint*
Palply: Ahh now this is good s***.
Vader: Master!
Palpy: Ahh! what?
Vader: Give me some of that.