Lines You'll Never Hear

[Nelowulf]

Cont.

Vader and Palpy: We will... get by... *air guitar* We will, get by...
Motti: This record sucks.

*record scratches, stops playing, as the emperor and vader stare at Motti*  

[Sol Walker]

Han: "How are we doing?"
Luke: "We're winning."
Han: "That bad, huh-wait what?"  

[Darkened Angel]

Han: I can't belive I traded in the Falcon for a TIE fighter. I think my split personality is suicidal.
Han's other personality: * takes over * Not really. I just like pissing you off.
Han: So... that explains why every time I fall asleep after you've taken over, I have some of Chewwie's hair in my a**...  

[Nospai Deathous]

Luke's training with Yoda on Degobah.

Yoda: ...as it did Obi-wan's apprentice...
Luke: Vader! ...is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: Maaaaaaaybeeeeeeee... hoo hoo hee hee hoohoo  

[Nelowulf]

Vader: You don't know the power, of the dork side!
Luke: I beg to differ *pushes up glasses* Oh man! My pocket protector broke!
Vader: Lucas, are you sure you want to change this line?
Lucas: Well... Duuuuhhhh! Of course I do!
Vader: Your funeral. Oh damn... My helmet split again. Anyone got any white tape?  

[~Dhali.Llama~]

I've always wanted to be... a pretty ballerina!
-Wompa  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Greedo: Hey, wazzap, Jango foo'.
Jango: Did you just call me Jango foo'?
Greedo: Yeah like Bubba foo'!
Jango:It's BOBA FOO'!
Boba: What?
Jango:No...that's-
Greedo: Yahe, foo'!
Jango: Well, you're greedy!
Greedo: Aw...Hell n- WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO TESTY?!!?
Jango:The hell?  

[~Dhali.Llama~]

The Death Star has just entered Earth's orbit.
Emperor Palpatine: You may fire when ready.
*CRACK*
Emperor Palpatine: eek
Albus Dumbledore: I will not allow you to destroy the world.
Emperor Palpatine: Yeah? You and what army?
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
Now there is a whole army of wizards, all with their wands ready.
Albus Dumbledore: Why, this one of course.
Emperor Palpatine: eek eek eek gonk
Expecto patronum!
Petrificus totalus!
Wingardium leviosa!
Crucio!
Experalliarmus!
Stupefy!
More cracks fill the air as they all Disapparate.
Palpatine is on the ground, twitching, with various things sticking out of odd places, such as tentacles and boils.
Emperor Palpatine: xp

*CRACK*
Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody: Oh, one more thing.

Avada kadavra.  

[Nelowulf]

3P0: I'M RICK JAMES, b***h! Oh my... where'd that come from?  

[HereticX]

3CPO (in a post office, surrounded by bodies): Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. *fires blaster, killing another person* WHO'S LAUGHING AT C3PO NOW? *fires wildly*  

[Nelowulf]

Obi-wan: You're a jedi, Luke.
Luke: Huh?
Obi-wan: You know that scar that's on your forhead? That's a lightsaber burn.
Luke: Old man, what are you talking about?
Obi-wan: Oops! Sorry! Hey! Who put a SW version of Harry Potter's script here?

meanwhilst...

Cale: Ha! Silly Thrawn Directing... Take that one!  

[Missing00]

Yoda: In drunkeness, true power awakens, emotion becomes untangled. To harmony, this is the path. Answer the temptations of the stoner side, do not.
Luke: Is the stoner side stronger?
Yoda: No! Keep drinking beer, you must.  

[Nelowulf]

((POTC parody))

*Darth Vader brings Luke to the emperor*

Palpy: Good job Skywalker.
Luke: you're very welcome.
Palpy: No, we called the Sith Apprentice Skywalker.

*Vader tilts his head, as mouthpiece forms smile*  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: T, I am your father...
Mr. T: Don't be givin' me that jibba jabba, foo!
* they duel, T beats Vader *
Palpy: Well done. Now strike him down and take his place as my new apprentice.
Mr. T: I ain't gonna be no apprentice to some wrinkly old Dark Side foo! * kills Palpy *
* Luke arrives *
Luke: What the Hell happened here?
Mr. T: I took care of dese foos 'cause you're too much of a goody good.
Luke: But...
Mr. T: Shut up, foo!  

[Nelowulf]

*Vader watches DA walk by naked*

Vader: Who's she?
Stormie: Some new sith Palps hired. Darth Valycia or something.
Vader: Hubba...
Stormie: What's that, sir? *points to crotch of Vader*
Vader: Well, after I fell in the lava... I needed some hydralics, so they installed a miniture pump down there.
Stormie: You could have used Enzyte... and it would be all natural male enhancement.
Vader: But this one bounces.
Stormie: True... So true...