In my head

[Eisoji]

Yeah, I know, but when it get especially hard it's difficult to remember that. And I know once I start college it will just be harder. I won't be able to talk to the person most important to me anywhere near as often. And I'll miss him.  

[Eisoji]

So I haven't been on much the past few days. For very good reason though. :3 The past few days I've been with a bunch of people helping fix up my high school art teacher's house. She just didn't have the money to do it, but the house Really needed it. It looked so much better when everyone was done with it, and she was so happy. biggrin  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

that's awesome.
i did that at camp for two summers, except i didn't know the people, since the camp was about two hours from where i live.
it's a nice feeling.  

[Eisoji]

Deadly Nightshayde

that's awesome.
i did that at camp for two summers, except i didn't know the people, since the camp was about two hours from where i live.
it's a nice feeling.

It was nice. She was so happy. And when the lady who arranged it was announcing who did what, she gave everyone hugs. Since I know her so well she gave me a real tight hug, called me one of the nick names she has for me and said thank you. smile It was a good feeling to help someone so nice out. She really deserved it.  

[Eisoji]

He can't come see me. . . .

*curls into a ball and cries*

*Edit* Forget crying and being mopey. I'm going to plan a trip to see him instead. I need to get out of this house for a couple weeks anyway.  

[Eisoji]

This is a rant, pure and simple. So ignore if you don't want to hear me b***h.

I ask three big things of him in our relationship. Now I know this one seems silly, but it means a lot to me. I just want him to have his phone on him so when I need him I can get a hold of him. Why the hell is this so hard?! In the past week I have barely gotten to talk to him. So when he had the weekend off I was happy. I thought I'd actually get to hear from him. Apparently not. He promised we'd talk Friday. I didn't hear from him until this morning. For 3 minutes. I asked him to please keep his phone on him, so I could call him around 9 his time. He said he would. Of course not. He's not answering his phone and his parents get mad when I call his house phone. So I'm mad. It's like he just doesn't care how much it upsets me when he breaks a promise. And I really can't get over how much that hurts.  

[Eisoji]

So the whole plan of him coming out to see me never worked out. But I'm leaving to see him on the 9th. Just for a few days, but I really can't wait to go.  

[Eisoji]

I'd like a little advice if possible. In two weeks I'll be getting on a plane. I haven't been on one since I was seven. Does anyone have any flight advice? I'm also a little nervous about going through security and stuff. Help?  

[Deadly Nightshayde]

i've never flown commercially so i have no idea, sorry.
my best friend growing up had a grandfather with a pilots license and a four seater plane so i've flown around in that a few times, but i've never made any trips in jets or anything.  

[Eisoji]

So I just got back from my trip and had such a wonderful time. He was sweet and funny. . .and very warm and comfortable. I was curled up last night in his arms crying my eyes out because I didn't want to leave. He just held me close, kissed me, told me we'd have another visit as soon as possible. And even with my eyes all red and puffy and my nose running he said I was 'the most beautiful woman in the world, and the only one for him'. Which of course made me cry harder.

It was such a nice place. I was comfortable and happy there even when Nathan was busy with other things. So I just told my mom I'd be looking into colleges over there and maybe transfer in a year or so.

She bitched and complained. Acted like I was making a huge mistake, and kept saying He's the one who should move down here. Even though THAT'S NOT WHY I'M GOING. Yes, I love him and want to be near him, but I also like it there. And would be much HAPPIER there.

She doesn't give a damn.  

[Eisoji]

http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=12815917&page=1 It's a contest. *nod* Please stop by in vote. Whether it's for me of not doesn't matter. Just vote for whoever you want. ^_^  

[Triltsch]

I feel spoiled and terrible… my life has never been so complicated… and I don't know what it feels like. I hate not having empathy. I've never really been attracted to anyone who wasn't just ink on paper…
I'm just so happy our guild has grabbed back onto a little thread of life named Eisoji. It was stuck at 2,417 posts for so very long. Phew… thanks for regenerating it!  

[Eisoji]

Thanks, Triltsch. Sorry I haven't been posting in the RP. My brain hasn't been very creative right now.

To explain why here's my update thing: The Thursday after I got back, little over a week ago, my grandpa died. All my other grandparents are already gone so I wasn't that upset. I also wasn't all that close to him. Yes, I was sad, he was my grandpa, but I got over it quicker than most other people. We're going to California Saturday to bury him next to grandma Linda.

Aside from that college starts in a couple weeks and I keep getting more and more freaked.  

[Eisoji]

I move for college in a week. . . eep.  

[Eisoji]

Tomorrow is my last day at the job I've had for about *thinks* three years. YES! I hate that job. The job itself isn't so bad, it's the people I work with. They really can't do their jobs.