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 Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:48 am
The_Pathan Right ^_^ Well causasians say the kid will get handicap if their parrents are cousons rofl Yes, but not after one cousin-marriage. It's not "the caucasians", it's science, biology =) If, inside one family, cousins always marry each other and no one ever marries outside the family, after a while there are not enough "fresh" genes, and the "bad" genes show more easily. You may get children with mental or physical disabilities. They may not be as fertile, they may have serious genetic disorders, there may be a lower birth rate and a higher death rate of newborn babies, and the immune system may not be as capable of defending the body against disease. Biologically, continuously marrying within one family is bad. Inbreeding with cousins is, of course, not as bad as with say, siblings, or parents and children. Those tend to have worse outcomes that show sooner. But the same results you get with cousin-couples if it goes on long enough. The percentage of something genetically going "wrong" after one cousin marriage is very low. But if there are only cousin marriages for a long time, then it is not healthy.
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 1:48 pm
if all that is true explain my family everyone n my family married their cuz n nothin bad happened n this is generations of marrage okie not bad will happen unless its ur destiny to be born wit disorders u cant help wut god gave but be proud n thank him
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:33 pm
Xx_ Miss_Pathan_xX if all that is true explain my family everyone n my family married their cuz n nothin bad happened n this is generations of marrage okie not bad will happen unless its ur destiny to be born wit disorders u cant help wut god gave but be proud n thank him I don't know your family or their background, and I don't know which country you are from =) However, I know that in many Arabic and Asian countries, "family" is a very broad term including 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins. I can only assume that some of the marriage in your family are 2nd and 3rd cousins as well. 3rd cousins have about as many genes in common as any two random strangers, so that isn't a problem. 2nd cousins usually also are not close enough to pose real problems. I mainly meant that there is a much bigger chance of problems between closely related relatives if this is a long ongoing process, maybe even decades and decades, but it doesn't have to be. Several studies among an Amish community showed that due to their in-family marriages, the death rate of children increased significantly as they all shared a genetic heart disease. A study of European royal families (who all marry into each other's families and not outside) is though to be the cause for a high occurrence of hemophilia in all these families. In some Canadian communities it was the case for loss of fertility. However, among the people of Dammam in Saudie Arabia, no bad effects were seen despite their high level of 1st cousin marriages. So bad effects are likely, but not guaranteed. Theoretically, it can even be beneficial through "selective breeding". Because inbreeding usually exposes the bad traits, it is possible to eradicate them from the population if the people with bad traits never have children, and all others only have children only with those who don't have them I'm truly sorry if I gave off the wrong impression or upset you, and I hope you'll forgive me for that. And you are completely right, nothing happens unless Allah wills it =)
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Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:15 am
saiyora_ wow. Long discussion. My opinion to all of this: I dont think its right because Allah wants you to have the best times with the one your truly love and that would be your wife/husband. Say (to all the girls out here) when you get married you find out your husband had other girls he kissed or hugged tightly or had a wet dream about...how would you feel? Same goes for guys, think of your wife talking to on the phone with a guy she went out with a while back and probably said the same lovey dovey things to you that she said to him. You don't feel too lucky now do you? I think that's exactly what Allah was trying to protect us from. The hurt and the pain that we might go through if our lover found out we had someone else. To kiss and hug someone you love for the first time is something that you want to cherrish. And it should be with someone you want to be with for a looooooooooooooooooong time. I think that being friends with the opposite sex is fine as long as you dont go too into it as in hugging or holding hands or both being in the same room all alone for that matter (unless married). A guy has a totally different perspective of what all those mean than a girl does. Most girls think innocent. Most guys think dirty. It's nature and can't be helped. So that's my opinion on all of this and thats what i live by. I'm a hijabi and i'm strict with my religion but i also know how to have fun and totally be normal. I talk to guys yeah but if one of them try's to hug, i dont. I refuse. It's that simple. A simple wave of your hand is enough of a seeya later/tomorrow. There's no need to hug so that you guys can see e/o tomorrow. confused That's just unnecessary...if you really need a hug, go hug your whole family or your pet or something. I'm sure they have more love to give to you. xD EDIT; even when i wasn't a hijabi i lived by that same rule. ^^ I'm done. rofl C'monn random number~ whee Assalaamualaikum
The above (and bottom) quotes are basically what I was gonna say. All I want to add is
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Why skip around from person to person "searching for love" (even though now a days in the US people just do it to seem kewl. idiots! sry personal oppinion) when Allah SWT has already written down who we're going to end up with? Whether we date or not, we will still end up with that person, so why go through all the crap people go through while doing this stuff when u can just wait for "the one".
----
And then I would've gone on to pretty much say this: Nennies To everyone saying you should talk to non-related guys, it's not as if you cannot speak to them at all. Of course you can speak to them, but there are limits. One such limit is that you shouldn't go and meet guys in private, just the two of you, for example. Having close friendships with guys is another, because things usually get complicated. For example when I visit my husband's family, I can speak to his brothers and chat with them in a group, but I don't speak to them in private or alone, and we are not close. About arranged marriage, there is nothing wrong with it as such if the people getting married both agree. In Islam, you cannot force anyone to marry if they don't want to.If a marriage had been arranged previously, but when the time comes either of them does not want to marry, then it is wrong to force them. It is always wrong to force. "arranged" should mean that your family (your mum or dad, or brothers for the girl) keep an eye out for potential partners. They may suggest someone they know, or someone may come and say they are interested in you. You talk to each other, get to know each other, ask them thoroughly about married life, the future, kids, everything you want to know about a husband/wife, and if you feel this is the right one, then you can marry. Divorcing in Islam is an option, but it should be a last last resort. You should always try to reconcile, to resolve your issues and to save the marriage. However, if you can't, then you should divorce in a peaceful manner and there is nothing wrong with that =) So there! 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:47 pm
never saw much of a point or need for dating other then being a 'politer' way of people saying they have pre-maritial sex. That said I figure just be friends with people and eventually I figure I shall meet someone by default that is a friend I be close enough and commited enough to to get merry and all that comes with it. Feel like doing such has work for me so far. I feel like I know what I want and need from someone in a marriage better then I did when I was younger by "just being friends" (I hate when people say "just being friends" like friendship is nothing if anything I feel marriage and all that comes with it are extensions of friendship and as such don't mean nothing without friendship).
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:44 pm
Islam and dating to me.. just don't go together.. either be friends or be married.
Dating and Islam is like oil and water...
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 4:17 am
Ust use a emulgator? (a danish thing which can mix oil and water) wink
lol. well ur right, it's bad.
wut about internet dating? Haram or halal?
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 12:06 pm
mls nak bce sbb banyak sgt ~~~
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:00 pm
The_Pathan Ust use a emulgator? (a danish thing which can mix oil and water) wink lol. well ur right, it's bad. wut about internet dating? Haram or halal? Why would you do internet dating??
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:56 pm
Bharatiyaa_ larki The_Pathan Ust use a emulgator? (a danish thing which can mix oil and water) wink lol. well ur right, it's bad. wut about internet dating? Haram or halal? Why would you do internet dating?? I asked haram or halal. I don't think i would, but i know people who would.
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:07 pm
The_Pathan Bharatiyaa_ larki The_Pathan Ust use a emulgator? (a danish thing which can mix oil and water) wink lol. well ur right, it's bad. wut about internet dating? Haram or halal? Why would you do internet dating?? I asked haram or halal. I don't think i would, but i know people who would. I can't really say.. I don't know.. but I think that it is haram.
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:59 am
Flirting, looking at eye, touchin = haram.
Talking = halal
Right?
So internet dating = halal if no flirting?
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:49 pm
Bharatiyaa_ larki Islam and dating to me.. just don't go together.. either be friends or be married. Dating and Islam is like oil and water... even before having Islam in my life I never saw the point of dating as I see things as either marriage (in the civil rights and relgion sense of the word [note it can be use to indicate any "strong union" in the english language) or friendship mainly becasue of my personal beleif that marriage and all that comes with it (physical intimacy, living together, having kids, and greater expectation of friendship [emotional and social intimacy]) is a extension of friendship. on a other note the subject of internet dating I don't beleive such a thing isn't truly tangiable enough to be call dating but to each there own I guess. Of course this is coming from a person that see the tradition of dating as redundent and hence untaniable.
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 5:01 pm
The_Pathan Ust use a emulgator? (a danish thing which can mix oil and water) wink lol. well ur right, it's bad. wut about internet dating? Haram or halal? Mind the humor you know what I mean..
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 5:03 pm
Cora Merle Seraph Bharatiyaa_ larki Islam and dating to me.. just don't go together.. either be friends or be married. Dating and Islam is like oil and water... even before having Islam in my life I never saw the point of dating as I see things as either marriage (in the civil rights and relgion sense of the word [note it can be use to indicate any "strong union" in the english language) or friendship mainly becasue of my personal beleif that marriage and all that comes with it (physical intimacy, living together, having kids, and greater expectation of friendship [emotional and social intimacy]) is a extension of friendship. on a other note the subject of internet dating I don't beleive such a thing isn't truly tangiable enough to be call dating but to each there own I guess. Yeah.. I have read some where that many girls in Saudia do internet relationships alot..
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