XXX JOKES

[haloshatterer v2]

you are awesome sogeki

ok, this one is real old though

if you have a moth ball in one hand and a moth ball in the other what have you got?

the world's biggest moth=0  

[Sogeki Skellington]

i dunno?  

[Sogeki Skellington]

oh here's another joke. Ahem


This lady was pregnant with triplets and went into labor. Her husband wasn't around so she decided to walk to the hospital. As she was walking, she was caught in a gang crossfire and was shot three times in her stomach. Later she has her triplets, two daughters and a son. Well, one day one of her daughters came up to her and said " Mommy, mommy I just peed a bullet" later her other daughter came and said " Mommy mommy I just peed a bullet" later than that, her son came up to her and shes said " Let me guess, you just peed a bullet." he said "No I was jerking off and I shot the dog"  

[haloshatterer v2]

rofl, the answer to mine is "the world's biggest moth"  

[Sirous Mackintosh]

Okay here is my joke ....

A brunette, a red head and a blonde were all pregnant and discussing what the gender of their babies were going to be.
The brunette stated that she thought she was going to have a boy because she was on top during sex. The redhead stated that she was going to have a girl because she was on the bottom during sex. Suddenly the blonde screamed "OH MY GOD!!! I AM GOING TO HAVE PUPPIES!!!".  

[Sogeki Skellington]

omfg!!!!!! rofl rofl rofl rofl lmfaorofl  

[haloshatterer v2]

ahahahaha that was good  

[Sogeki Skellington]

i cant think of any more  

[Sogeki Skellington]

still nothing.... after like 4 months.... still nothing  

[Sogeki Skellington]

oh oh oh i gots one!!!! What do u call two hippies having sex? a forest fire!!  

[teddytoles]

What is it???

A couple were having sex. After they were done the wife asked the husband to go and get her a soda. So the husband struts off naked, he gets the soda and a candy bar, but three nuns come around the corner. He flattens himself against the wall to try not to be seen. The first nun hands him a dollar and pulls and gets a candy bar. The second nun hands him a dollar and pulls and gets a soda. The third nun hands him and a dollar and pulls. "I got lotion" she says very happy.

Johnny's dad came up to him and said son we need to have a talk. Johnny freaks out. "Dad the last time we had a talk you told me the Easter bunny and Santa weren't real, I don't want to have another one or you might tell me adults don't get to have sex"

Then there is a chemistry pick-up line from my friend. We were studying about dry ice and how it doesn't get wet or melt. Oogie looks over at Corrie and says "I am not dry ice", not to be outdone I said "just because I am a solid doesn't mean I can't get you wet"

 

[Sogeki Skellington]

sex is like math. u add the bed, subtract the clothes. divide the legs and pray to god u dont multiply lol  

[teddytoles]

I am so telling that one to my math teacher.

 

[Sogeki Skellington]

Probly not the smartest idea. Lol.
A prostitute was in court, and the judge says "And when did you realize you were raped?" The prostitute said "When the check bounced..."

There's an elephant and a camel, the elephant asks "Hey, why are there tits on your back?" The camel says "I don't know. Why is there a big limp d**k on your face?" LOL  

[haloshatterer v2]

what's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

a hooker can wash her crack and sell it again