Lines You'll Never Hear

[Nelowulf]

Luke: I'll never be turned!

Vader: We shall see... I use my Death Star, and play increased power generators to give it a plus 5 attack bonus! I also use elite guard, giving it a plus 7 to defense.

Luke: I play Rebel fleet, millenium falcoln, and roll a saving dice roll, allowing me to buy some more time for han!

Vader: I play my Vader card, which gets a bonus from my palpentine card!

Luke: I play my card, Good guys win card, coupled with the five pieces of exar kun, the forbidden one!

Vader: NOOOO! That card is like... triple extra super duper rare! But I thought your deck was good guys only?

Luke: You're just mad because I won.  

[Darkened Angel]

( cont. )

Vader: Alright, you win fair and square, but... Can I see the Exar Kun cards? I've never seen them before.
Luke: Well... sure I guess so. * hands them to Vader *
Vader: I've always wondered if there was a way to beat these cards... And now I found a way. * tosses them into the water * SAY GOODBYE TO EXAR KUN!
Luke: NOOOO!!!!
Han: Don't worry, Luke! I'll get them back! * dives into the water, only to come out without them * Sorry Luke, I tried...  

[jaslow]

Vader: Aaaww but you promised me you'd teach me how to revive the dead
Palpatine: Maybe when I'm not so busy ruling the galaxy
Vader: Please? With a lightsaber on top?  

[Nelowulf]

((Rocky Horror Parody on the way, beware...))


Leia: Han, let's get outta here.
Han: Not until we use the phone.
Leia: I'm scared.
Han: I'm here. There's no need to... worry?

*elevator doors open up, as Luke stepps out in black robes*

Luke: How'd ya do I,
See you've met my,
Faithful.. Padawan.

He's just a little brought down,
Cause when you knocked,
He thought you were the, Empire's son.

Don't get strung out, By the way I look,
Dont' judge a falcon by its hyperdrive.
I'm not much of a man, by the light of day,
But by night I'm one hell of a jedi.

I'm just a sweet Force user... From A moisturefarm... On Tatooineeeee!

Let me, show you around,
Maybe, take in the sound,
You both look like you're both, pretty saavy.
Or if you want something visual,
that's not to abyssmal,
We can take in an old Republic movie.

Han: I'm glad we caught you at home,
Can we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.

Leia: RIGHT!

Han: We'll just, eat some dip,
Then go back to the ship...
We don't want to be any worry.

Luke: So your hyperdrive went splat,
Well, how 'bout that?
Well babies, don't you panic.

By the light of the night,
It will all seem alright,
I'll get you a wookiee mechanic.

I'm just a sweet Force user... From A moisturefarm... On Tatooineeeee!

Why don't you stay for the hour?
And go take a shower?
I could show you my favorite hanker.

I've been making a man,
With black armor, and a metal hand,
And he's good for relieving pent-up anger.

I'm just a sweet Force user... From A moisturefarm... On Tatooineeeee!

So, Come up to the bridge,
and see what's on the ridge,
I see you shiver with anticipa...............tion.

But maybe the spice,
is a bit too nice,
So I'll remove the cause,
But not the symptom!  

[HereticX]

Palpatine: "Execute Order 66."
CloneCommander: "What! Who are you and what are you doing on this channel?" "Attention, all troops, our chain of command has been breached; Order 66 is invalidated!"
Palpatine: "...f*ck."



Palpatine: "Execute Order 66."
CloneCommander: "Affirma-Hey, wait! You're that Sith Lord behind the war! Attention all troops, our chain of command has been breached; activate emergency protocols." *guns down Jedi*
*Clones March into Jedi Temple, kill all*
*Clone Troopers March into Senate*
*Republic is reorganized as the First Galactic Clone League*  

[Kittensaurex]

Don't know if this has been posted but...
http://tcruiseko.ytmnd.com/
I couldn't stop laughing! rofl  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: Join the Dark Side, it is your destiny.
Luke: I'll never join the Dark Side!
Vader: You'll join the Dark Side, or you're grounded, mister!
Luke: I said no, and you can't make me!
Vader: Fine, then no more TV for you. Now go to your room!
Luke: * walking away * Jackass...
Vader: What was that?
Luke: Nothing!  

[Eurus_Dri]

R2-D2: You have one new message  

[Uo-Kimi]

Leia: Goddamn it, Han, just take this piece of crap to Jiffy Lube.  

[Missing00]

Vader: Ya know, the Death Star kinda looks like a gaint katamairi. Right Palpy?
Palpy: Just shut up and smoke your weed.  

[Capn Deep Blusi]

Luke: R2, access that terminal!

R2 sticks the plug in Luke's neck.
Big green flash.

Captain Typho: Welcome to the matrix.

Luke: Wait. Aren't you, like, 5 prequels behind?

Typho: ......uhh....*disappears before episode III*  

[HereticX]

Luke: "Palpatine! You were destroyed!"
Palpatine: "Ah...but the nice thing about me...is there's so many me."
*more Palpatine's walk out*
Palpatine: "It is inevitable, Skywalker. Give in to the Dark Side."

Anakin leaps at Obi-Wan, blurring with speed. (Lightsaber-time)
Obi-Wan gracefully slices off his limbs.
"You were supposed to be the One!"

Elan Sleazebagano: "So...you want to buy a deathstick? The red one or the blue one?"



(Sorry, sorry, but I can resist. xd )
Palpatine: "How are you gentleman?"
Windu: "Chancellor, I'm placing you under arrest."
Palpatine: "All your base are belong to us."
Windu: "Not yet."
Palpatine: "What you say?" *draws saber*
Windu: "You have no chance to survive. Make your time."

Clone Trooper: "We get signal."
Clone Commander: "Main screen turn on."
Palpatine: "Execute Order 66."
Clone Commander: "Yes sir."
*fires at Plo Koon*
Plo Koon: "Somebody set up us the bomb!"  

[HereticX]

Han: "She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself."
*points at Millenium Falcoln*
Kenobi: "Shotgun!"
Luke: "Shotgu-F*CK!"  

[Lucca Ashtear]

Leia: I love you!
Han: I know.
Leia: Not anymore, you arrogant p***k.  

[Sol Walker]

(Karaeoke night on the Executor)
Vader: I'd like to dedicate this song to the origional man in black. *hoo-haa*He was an inspiration to me when I was a jedi,*hoo-haa* and he helped me pick out the color for the armor.*hoo-haa* and so without further ado I'd like to sing that great Jonny Cash hit*hoo-haa* I Walk The Line.
ahem
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine*hoo-haa*
I keep my eyes wide open all the time. *hoo-haa*
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds*hoo-haa*
Because you're mine, *hoo-haa*
I walk the line*hoo-haa*

I find it very, very easy to be true*hoo-haa*
I find myself alone when each day is through*hoo-haa*
Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you*hoo-haa*
Because you're mine, *hoo-haa*
I walk the line*hoo-haa*

As sure as night is dark and day is light*hoo-haa*
I keep you on my mind both day and night*hoo-haa*
And happiness I've known proves that it's right*hoo-haa*
Because you're mine, *hoo-haa*
I walk the line*hoo-haa*

You've got a way to keep me on your side*hoo-haa*
You give me cause for love that I can't hide*hoo-haa*
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide*hoo-haa*
Because you're mine, *hoo-haa*
I walk the line*hoo-haa*

(cricket noises)

Vader: Applaud now.

(room bursts into applause)
((the *hoo-haa* is vader's resperator breathing. couldn't quite figure out how else to word it.))