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 Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:46 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 4:40 pm
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HereticX Sebulba: *sigh* "Ever since I lost to that Anakin punk, I've lost my reason to live. I've got no pride left as a racer. I need something new for my life..." *time passes* Sebulba: "I've found new meaning, new joy for my life! Lowrider-pods!" *Pod-racer bounces up and down* Dud Bolt (in pimpmobile): "Hah, mine's more fly than yours!" Sebulba: "Shut it, foo!" *flamethrower*
Degar riding in low rider swoop bike: Ha ha! |
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 11:36 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:39 pm
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Some time after the Prequel triology has come out, George Lucas looks back on the triology, and decides it was horribly done... And redoes it, with Mike Meyers as anakin and Palpetine...
Palpetine: I have created what I call a "Time Machine". Using this "Time Machine", I shall go back in time, and steal Yoda's Mojo! Without his mojo, he will be powerless, and I don't have to make either one of us look like some gereatrics with an attitude problem! Muaha... Mua ha ha ha!
Dooku: Why not go back in time, invest in stock, and make millions?
Palpentine: Shh!
Vader:Why don't you just go back, take a blaster, and kill him when he's young?
Palpetine: Because I am the evil genious.
Vader: Listen, I got a gun, in my room, and I can go...
Palps: Shh!
Vader: But.
Palps: Shh!
Vader: Bu.
Palps: Shh!
Vader: B..
Palps: shh! I have a whole bag of shh right here with your name on it.
Vader: B...
Palps: I'm pippy longstocking, would you like to zuckle my zipples?
Vader: I..
Plaps: Zip it.. Zip it good.
Vader: *silent*
Palps: As I was saying, I have already placed an undercover agent in their midst.
Dooku: Who is it?
Palps: He goes by the name of "Annoying b*****d"
*thump, thump, thump*
Annoying b*****d: Mesas Here! Whatsa want mesas to do Palpentine?
Palps: I want you to go back in time and steal Yoda's mojo.
AB: Yousas got mesaas money?
Palps: Yes, its right here. Mini-maul, would you go get it please?
*minimaul brings out the credits*
AB: Yousas know, I think I'dsas rather have a friend. Howsas about yousas little bebesa?
Minimaul: *middle finger*
Palps: I'm afraid he's not for trade.
AB: But mesas wants a friend! *shoots toungue out, to get it cut by minimaul*
Palps: Minimaul! Quit attacking our saboteours. And quit humping the lightsaber!
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:57 pm
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Pulp Star Wars Fiction...
Mace: "The path of the righteous Jedi is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil Sith. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger to those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is Mace Windu when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
(On The Invisible Hand's bridge as it hurtles through the atmosphere)
Obi-Wan: "Whoa!"
Anakin: "What's happening, Mas-Oh Sith."
Obi-Wan: "Anakin, I just stabbed the Supreme Chancellor in the face!"
Anakin: "Well what'd you do that for, Master?"
Obi-Wan: "Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!"
Anakin: "Master, I've seen some messed up things, but..."
Obi-Wan: "Anakin, calm yourself. I told you it was an accident. You probably hit some turbulence."
Anakin: "Turbulence? There wasn't no ******** turbulence!"
Obi-Wan: "Look Anakin, I didn't mean to stab the Supreme Chancellor. The saber went off. I don't know why."
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 11:46 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 11:49 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:59 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 7:27 pm
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Neb Wulf and the Quest for the Tan' Sa' Qua'
*Neb gallups to a castle with Ganil clopping two coconuts together*
Neb: I say! Is anyone home?
*William shatner looks over*
Kirk: I say... no... there is nobody... home!
Neb: But you're here! May we come inside?
Kirk: No!
Neb: May we speak to your master?
Kirk: Well... he's very.... logical and... smelly... you wont.... like him...
Neb: It matters not! I must seek him!
Kirk: I don't think... he'll like you.. very... much there!
Neb: We are seeking the Tan' Sa' Qua'!
Kirk: We've... already got.. one!
*turns to other trekkies*
Kirk: I.. told them... we already got.. one!
*Spock, Scottie, and Doc giggle*
Neb: In the name of the Force, open this door!
Kirk: No! I... sneeze upon you... and fart.. in your general... direction!
Neb: Are you Coruscantian?
Kirk: I'm a... trekkie... Can't you tell... by my... speach impediment?
Neb: ARG! Let us in!
Kirk: Your mother was... a klingon.. and your dad... smelled of borg!
Neb: That's it, we're taking this by force!
*kirk turns to spock, who launches a ronto*
Neb: Run away! Run away!
Kirk: Now... go away or.. I shall taunt you... a second time!
*knights run into the forest*
*much building is heard*
*suddenly, a team of squires push a wooden wampa to the door*
Neb: Okay, what's the plan?
Imperius: Well, when night falls, me, you, and angel jump out, and take them by surprize!
Neb: Wait, who's in the wampa?
Imperius: Me, you, and... oh...
*wampa is flung over the walls*
Neb: RETREAT!
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 7:49 pm
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Mystery Mercenaries
Luke: *practices against the remote* *hit* Gah!
Obi: What weapon do you have?
Luke: Just my lightsaber, Ben.
Obi: No! The fist, the foot, the force! You must lash out with all your tentacles, like the sarlaac who plays the drums.
Luke (after blowing up the death star): So..hey, Han..
Han: Hey, Luke. I just came back.. I was wondering, has anyone seen my wallet? It was denim... had a silver chain, said "Hang loose..." had a picture of an ewok?
Luke: ......
Han: ....Smuggler instinct...increasing... urge to escape awkward situation via use of force and fleeing to hyperspace...rising...
Luke: Han, why don't you just come back to Yavin with us?
Han: Instinct...calming...urge to vape...lowering...*gasp* that was quick thinking, Luke
Luke: Well, Han...I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt.
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 3:11 pm
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Star Wars, Children of Star Wars, Star Wars Messiah, etc...
Yoda: "Much fear do I sense in you, young Skywalker. Training, you are not ready for."
Luke: "Please, Master Yoda, I need you to train me."
Yoda: "Very well. Prove yourself, you must. Put your hand in the box."
Luke: *hand in box* "I will not fear. Fear is the mindkiller. I shall face my fear, I shall let it pass through me!"
Jabba: "The Spice, must flow."
Vader: "It is your destiny!"
Luke: "To know the future is to be trapped by it!" *chops off hand*
Palpatine: "Strike him down!"
Luke: "No! Knowing there's a trap, that's the first step in avoiding it! The first step along the Golden Path."
Lama Su: "Whatever your need, the Kamino have the breed."
Vader: "You have failed me for the last time." *force grip* "Where are the Sardukar when you need them?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:25 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:37 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 12:04 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:11 pm
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