Lesser Known Goals Of The Empire

[elvisnake]

To make accidentally-bought Stormtrooper armor (They were hoping for something less ugly, in a more protective material than plastic) a hot fashion item, allowing them to sell all suits for a hefty profit, and go out and buy good armor.  

[ElladanKenet]

To make Lego Star Wars. Because the point is: "Why not?"  

[elvisnake]

To FINALLY steal that annoying kid's Pikachu!  

[Sol Walker]

To begin a wave of Genocide in the attempt to erase the alien presence of Pokemon from the world, as they pose a possible threat to the advncement of Human High Culture.  

[Darkened Angel]

To finally find out the true identity of Dr. Who so the series can finally be put to rest and we can all focus on a new, much lamer attempt at sci-fi.

To scrap the idea of a new type of sci-fi series and remake Star Wars so it doesn't have as many screw ups.

To ban George Lucas from any activity that has any impact on the previously stated remake.  

[elvisnake]

To prepare all worlds for devastation
To annihilate resistance on every nation
To denounce the evils of truth and love
To spread Palpy's will to the stars above

Mara!

Vader!

Team Empire blasting off at the speed of light
Surrender now or prepare to fight
Noghri! That's right!  

[ElladanKenet]

To murder the person who combined pokemon and Lord Vader in the same monologue.  

[Darkened Angel]

To use Goku's Kamehameha energy in the Death Star.

To later abandon the project as using the Death Star then requires weeks in advance of preparation because it takes that long to throw taunts and other futile attacks at a planet before finally firing correctly and destroying it.  

[ElladanKenet]

To regulate that all doors be large enough for stormtroopers to pass through without bumping their heads.  

[Darkened Angel]

To use Triumph the Insult Comic Dog as their figure when it comes to giving speeches. After all, a world such as Tatooine is perfect... FOR HIM TO POOP ON!  

[ElladanKenet]

To designate Tatooine as the galaxy's biggest litterbox.

But make sure not to put it in the tourist guide.  

[Darkened Angel]

To designate Manaan as the galaxy's biggest fishing spot, and put that in the pamphlet to attract more tourism.  

[ElladanKenet]

To replace crack with glitterstim.  

[Darkened Angel]

To explore strange, new worlds, and oppress them.  

[ElladanKenet]

To replace Palpatine and Vader with Thrawn and Crix Madine.