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 Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:53 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:05 am
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xxmau-mauxx dear dr. love,
ahmm in general, ngwowork ba ang long distance relationship?
ano ang dapat gawin para mgwork ang relasyong ganito? whee
Dear xxmau-mauxx,
I really don't think anyone — at least not any woman — intends to end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens.
Define your relationship
- agree on what the relationship will be going forward: Are you going to be just friends? Intimately connected when it's convenient? Or does this have the makings of a real and solid love affair? Determining limits is of the utmost importance, because as things get difficult, it will help ground the two of you if you know the boundaries of your relationship. It will also help avoid heartache later because you will both know where you stand.
Be honest
- This is very important, and I don't just mean disclosing the superficial things (like where he was when you called and he didn't answer).
Exercise Patience
- Boy, is this one tough! I personally am not a patient man, and one of the pitfalls for me in long-distance relationships has been the waiting. I recommend that you find things to do here at home to occupy your time.
Give Encouragement
-This one is so important. Encouragement, assistance and praise work well over email, too. It's also a good idea to "smile over the phone" as much as possible. A good mood from you on days when your partner may be feeling especially needy can make both of you feel better.
**If you follow this advice, you will be on the road to making your long-distance relationship last. Even better, it may end someday with the two of you finally in the same place, having learned so much more about each other simply because you had to put in a bit more effort.**
goodluck mau.
Sincerely,
DR LOVE ng IWONCLAN heart |
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:26 am
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:28 am
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:27 am
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checute_21 dear dr. love, ganito kc un..ung girl may classmate xa..maypagka-silahis(half boy/half girl). tpos mbait namn at may itsura..tpos nafall na ung girl sa boy..pro ung boy malandi.. xd ..kc nga maypagkasilahis..haha.ano gagawin nung girl.? sbi nung boy may crush xa pro yaw nia sbihin.codename "superwoman". tpos nagsbi ng mga characteristics ung boy ni superwoman and nafeel nung girl na prang xa un..aun..ano ulet gagawin ni girlaluu.? -->che. (serious question yan ah.di lang mlinaw.sna di mkita ng mga classmates ko..^^ )
cheng gus2 ko dn malaman ang kasagutan dito... 3nodding |
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:51 pm
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checute_21 dear dr. love, ganito kc un..ung girl may classmate xa..maypagka-silahis(half boy/half girl). tpos mbait namn at may itsura..tpos nafall na ung girl sa boy..pro ung boy malandi.. xd ..kc nga maypagkasilahis..haha.ano gagawin nung girl.? sbi nung boy may crush xa pro yaw nia sbihin.codename "superwoman". tpos nagsbi ng mga characteristics ung boy ni superwoman and nafeel nung girl na prang xa un..aun..ano ulet gagawin ni girlaluu.? -->che. (serious question yan ah.di lang mlinaw.sna di mkita ng mga classmates ko..^^ )
Dear checute_21.
for him, being 'the one' is like being inlove. And being gay is like being inlove... you just know it. When you see that perfect TV show couple, the sports jock and the tall blond barbie-like cheerleader... who do you stare at?
You are trying to put labels into something that doesn't have them. It's like trying to categorize tomatoes for what shade of red they are. (weird analogy!). They are all red! some are one shade, some are another. With people it's the same. Some gay guys are all girly, some you couldn't tell from a straight guy. Some striaght guys are all girly as well... so there is not a behaviour rule you use to verify if someone is gay or straigh or bi or whatever you will. Not even yourself.
I do not know if people can 'turn' gay... I honestly think not. I think there are just degrees of acceptance. According to my theories, homosexuals are born homosexuals... call it genetic predisposition, call it universal coincidence, call it string theory. Still, the idea lies... things happen for a reason, being gay as well.
And as for your feelings, you know crushing is definitely normal, i mean when you have one, that's just fine cause everyone feels the same way towards the one they like/attracted the most. You can never be sure about his feeling unless you ask him and have a one on one heart conversation..there's no harm on asking or telling him how you feel, making him aware of how you feel would really help alot for you and for him cause it's either you two can take it to another next step/level.
About "superwoman", you could be possibly right, it could be you. They always say that girls have this certain instinct that men don't have. But being rest assured about our feelings/instinct is not preferable, coz u know our gut feeling is not 100% accurate. Assuming things can lead to 2 situation, first your thoughts can be right when it's confirmable, 2nd..you could be wrong. and the only possible way to find out is to talk to him and gather more information, right? right? right? Goodluck.
Sincerely,
DR LOVE ng IWONCLAN |
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:14 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:54 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 6:43 pm
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Dr. love,
nangyari kc sa akin to... and yeah naka move on na ako... mei lumi na ako eh... pero i just want to ask no... what other option can i do nung ganito pa ung situation ko...
"mei best friend ako na guy, since elementary pa. mag kasama na kami sa isang room (class rom ah... mga imaginations ahahahaha rofl rofl ) mula nuong, through high school then till 1st year college). ung guy na un, lagi kaming nag aasaran nung H.S pero friends kami and eventually naging kabarkada ko xa sa group ng guys... mei seperate barkada kc ako ng guys and girls... pero isang group kami... (gulo ba??!?!)... anyways
nung maggraduate na kmi ng H.S, nagkahiwa hiwalay kaming barkada, pero kaming 2 ng guy nagkasama... nakakatawa nga kc andami nyang school na pinagkuhanan ng entrance exam, and pasado pero sumama pa din xa sa akin sa isang university d2 sa makati... tas ayun... nanging mag classmate pa din kmi nung 1st yr frst sem at kami pa din ang inaasar...idk why ... eh sabi nila iba daw kc chemistry namin. e one time di nya na carry ung isang subject, so naging iregular xa, pero hintayan pa din kami ng pag uwi. nung 2nd year napunta ako sa section A, and i met a girl na kinaibgan ako. nung nangmcdonals kami nung guy, nalaman ko na crush pala nung girl c guy and since innosente pa ako ahahah ako naman c gaga niloko ko c guy na ligawan c girl. di lang xa umimik. and once night nung tinuturuan ko xa ng algebra and nasa normal session kami ng telebabad...niloko ko ulet xa, at eto na sagot nya "cgurado daw ba ako na gusto ko xang ligawan" and nagulat ako, sabi ko na lang, "ahahah nanay mo ba ako para mag paalam ka" then the next 2 weeks simbang gabi nalaman ko dinadalaw n nya ung gurl at nanliligaw, ung nag usap kami sa pone, idk why pero nasabi ko sa kanya na "once na magkaGF ka, lalayo na ako... kc mas mukha pa tayong couple kung di ako lalayu... magalet pa ung girl."
lam mo kung anong sagot nya at talagang na touch ako, "bkit naman GF ko lang xa, best friend na kita"
pero nung naging cla, na hurt ako nung tinago nilang 2 sa akin... to think naging frnd ko and classmate and lagi kong kaxama during break ung girl... mga 4 weeks bago nila cnabi... nalaman ko pa sa iba at as in lahat cla alam, ako lang...
nagun, kanino ba ako dapat magalet? sa guy na nakasama ko ng mahabang panahon, s girl na feeling ko gnamet ako para mapalapet sa guy, o sa sarili ko kc ako ang unang bumitaw sa tali...kc ung ginawa ko since ako ung type na d kayang matanim ng galet, medyo hinayaan ko na lang, pero nandun pa din xempre ung avoidance sa dalawang tao na un
yan ung story... ng past love life ko.. ahahha walang kakwenta kwenta.... buti na lang d na ako bitter ahahah pero matagal din ako nag move on ahahahahha
dr. ano ba ang sagot... kanino ko dapat isisi ang katangahan na iyon...
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 12:21 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:43 am
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healing serenade Dr. love,
nangyari kc sa akin to... and yeah naka move on na ako... mei lumi na ako eh... pero i just want to ask no... what other option can i do nung ganito pa ung situation ko...
"mei best friend ako na guy, since elementary pa. mag kasama na kami sa isang room (class rom ah... mga imaginations ahahahaha rofl rofl ) mula nuong, through high school then till 1st year college). ung guy na un, lagi kaming nag aasaran nung H.S pero friends kami and eventually naging kabarkada ko xa sa group ng guys... mei seperate barkada kc ako ng guys and girls... pero isang group kami... (gulo ba??!?!)... anyways
nung maggraduate na kmi ng H.S, nagkahiwa hiwalay kaming barkada, pero kaming 2 ng guy nagkasama... nakakatawa nga kc andami nyang school na pinagkuhanan ng entrance exam, and pasado pero sumama pa din xa sa akin sa isang university d2 sa makati... tas ayun... nanging mag classmate pa din kmi nung 1st yr frst sem at kami pa din ang inaasar...idk why ... eh sabi nila iba daw kc chemistry namin. e one time di nya na carry ung isang subject, so naging iregular xa, pero hintayan pa din kami ng pag uwi. nung 2nd year napunta ako sa section A, and i met a girl na kinaibgan ako. nung nangmcdonals kami nung guy, nalaman ko na crush pala nung girl c guy and since innosente pa ako ahahah ako naman c gaga niloko ko c guy na ligawan c girl. di lang xa umimik. and once night nung tinuturuan ko xa ng algebra and nasa normal session kami ng telebabad...niloko ko ulet xa, at eto na sagot nya "cgurado daw ba ako na gusto ko xang ligawan" and nagulat ako, sabi ko na lang, "ahahah nanay mo ba ako para mag paalam ka" then the next 2 weeks simbang gabi nalaman ko dinadalaw n nya ung gurl at nanliligaw, ung nag usap kami sa pone, idk why pero nasabi ko sa kanya na "once na magkaGF ka, lalayo na ako... kc mas mukha pa tayong couple kung di ako lalayu... magalet pa ung girl."
lam mo kung anong sagot nya at talagang na touch ako, "bkit naman GF ko lang xa, best friend na kita"
pero nung naging cla, na hurt ako nung tinago nilang 2 sa akin... to think naging frnd ko and classmate and lagi kong kaxama during break ung girl... mga 4 weeks bago nila cnabi... nalaman ko pa sa iba at as in lahat cla alam, ako lang...
nagun, kanino ba ako dapat magalet? sa guy na nakasama ko ng mahabang panahon, s girl na feeling ko gnamet ako para mapalapet sa guy, o sa sarili ko kc ako ang unang bumitaw sa tali...kc ung ginawa ko since ako ung type na d kayang matanim ng galet, medyo hinayaan ko na lang, pero nandun pa din xempre ung avoidance sa dalawang tao na un
yan ung story... ng past love life ko.. ahahha walang kakwenta kwenta.... buti na lang d na ako bitter ahahah pero matagal din ako nag move on ahahahahha
dr. ano ba ang sagot... kanino ko dapat isisi ang katangahan na iyon...
waaaa nobela wahaha heart |
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 7:10 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:26 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:40 am
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Dear healing serenade,
For someone who has been make to expect that there was something more than friendship, I believe that you have the right to feel that way. But you can never impose on your friend because he never committed himself to you in the first place. All that you can hold on to are short "feel good" moments that may have never been extraordinarily special to him.
healing serenade, if it will make you feel a lot better, I don't see anything wrong on telling him how you feel. He already knows what you are and has accepted you for it. Just don't make him feel that he has to be responsible for the hurt he has done. Never impose anything. Just be honest, be true to yourself, and just be a friend.
It is true that actions speak louder than words, but we may hear them differently. We begin to expect something spectacular to happen. But to our utter dismay, we just find ourselves indulging in our own make-believe world. And also if i may add, you shouldn't blame the 2 of them not even yourselves, for what you have felt is LOVE, it's normal that we may feel that way but you shouldn't blame yourselves. Talk things over, a big sign of relief will happen if you do so. GOODLUCK
DR LOVE ng IWONCLAN
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