Raziel's Reviews

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

Good night~  

[Scrab Demon]

Night. *drive-by hug*  

[QhaZomb]

G'night, Scrab.

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Sorry was eating dinner. What'd I miss?

Pianoface: Sullivan still in the hole?

Pfft. I don't care right now.

Sullivan: D8 If it pleases you I'd like to come out now.

All for say aye?

All against? NAY.

Nay...  

[QhaZomb]

Nay. :3

Also, my About Me is finally updated.

 

[Scrab Demon]

NEIGH  

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

I do believe I know what I'm going to review today, but it wont be until I'm back from the gym.

Oh, and the word of the day is esoteric.  

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

Hello and welcome to the first in instalment of Raziel's Reviews. Before we get started, I just want to warn people that I'll be linking to TVtropes a lot in this series. If there's an odd sort phrase in a link on here, chances are it leads to TVtropes, so be careful; I myself get sucked into reading articles for hours without even realizing it. Unfortunately, TVtropes - as addicting as it is - is the only place I know of that has examples of such things as Genre Savvy and Salad Fingers VS Pyramid Head


How do you like the taste of your own medicine, Kitty?


Anyway, with that warning, moving on.

Today I'll be reviewing Drag me to Hell. Drag me to hell is a 2009 horror film about a loan officer, Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) whose life is basically circling the shitter - and this is even before a curse is placed on her. Being fat as a child, she's very insecure. It doesn't help that her Boss is teasing her with a promotion that he's probably going to give to some chauvinistic a**-hat anyway, in exchange for tickets to a game, no less. Or that her boyfriend's rich parents think she isn't worth the dirt on his expensive, custom-made dress shoes. Now, you really can't help but feel sorry for this girl, she was a sad case of Failure is the only option; how was she suppose to know that refusing to extend loan of this creepy, elderly gypsy woman would end up damning her? She certainly felt sympathy for the old bird and tried to compromise, but in the end, Christine had to choose between the shiny, new promotion that would make all her current problems disappear, or extending this woman's loan, when it looked like she was going to kick the bucket in a few days anyway, regardless of what she did for her. Now, I'm not saying kicking old women out of their homes is right, but come on, overreacting much, lady? Is she going to send a metermaid to hell when he gives her a parking ticket? Or how about when they come to take her away to the old folks home? Seriously, that is way too much power for any mere mortal, let alone an old woman who's probably going senile.

And I just love the old woman's family's reaction to this poor girl. Instead of going 'Oh, sorry, forgive Nana, she isn't right in the head and she has one too many cats' they act as if Christine deserves to go to hell... um, okay, where were they when their Nana was nearly getting evicted from her house? I think Christine is just their scapegoat for neglecting the insane, old, broad; I bet she'd send even her own kids to hell because they don't call enough!

Alright, Christine does do some pretty nasty things after she's cursed to try and save her soul - like animal sacrifices - but overall she wasn't a terrible person -- a terribly annoying and shallow person, but not hell-worthy. I guess that's why the movie's motto is 'even nice people can go to hell'. It's just a scary thought, makes me want to be nicer to old people, cause who knows? Maybe one of them might send you to hell if you aren't!

Alright, straying away from the plot now, I've heard from a lot of people that they didn't like this movie because of its over-the-top gore and acting. Not to be a pretentious hypocrite, but to fully enjoy this movie, I feel you must have had to seen the Evil Dead movies first. Sam Raimi directed both Drag me to Hell and the Evil Dead trilogy and Drag me to Hell is basically a homage to those movies with its over-the-top gore (Bloody Hilarious) and sometimes terrible acting and scenes that just make you plain out go wtf (So Bad its Good)

Now, you don't have to see Evil Dead to get this movie (but if you do, I recommend Evil Dead II since it's basically a revamp of the first one) but if you do, try watching it with an open mind because some parts can get rather weird... and a bit gross...

The things that strike me most (and terrify me the most) about Drag me to Hell and Evil dead is their Uncanny Valley; Their monsters and villains seem so human-like, but you know in your gut their is something deeply wrong and creepy about them.

Now more than ever, because of drag me to hell, I realize -- I'm just plain scared of old people.

What's not to be afraid of? They smell funny, some are senile and unpredictable, even prone to fits of unprovoked rage, some are a danger on the road, and some - most terrifyingly of all - have the same libido they had when they were twenty and they think you're just yummy~

I'm just going to stop right their because I think I scared myself. Enjoy your nightmares, people. Go see these movies if any of this stuff appeals to you, I highly recommend Evil Dead II... Drag me to Hell... watch at your own discretion...

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

[QhaZomb]

AHAHAHA!
YOU FOUND THE SALAD FIGURES VS PYRAMID HEAD PICTURE! XD

 

[Scrab Demon]

HO SHI-  

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

Someone needs to make a salad finger mule to sick on PH.  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Merrival: D8 REEE! *digs a hole and hides ungerground*

O___o I think I peed myself a little. That was indeed scary to look at. It makes Moebius look normal compared to this old lady.  

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

Well, well, well, look who's come to see you, PH~  

[Scrab Demon]

XD

He looks more like an odd version of Freddy Krueger.  

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

So does PH equal Jason? Both of them can't be killed.