Funniest attempts at insults

[Corpse_Bride_131]

I know this doesn't really have anything to do with insults about being Goth, but yesterday somebody told me I sucked, and since I am so good at comebacks, I stood there to think for a while while they started to walk away, and my friend screams, at the top of his lungs, "Not for free!!!!" and I am just like, shut up before I have to hurt you! Oh, it was so embarrassing. I'm not the type who will let people get away with making fun of me, but I won't be all mean and grrr..... I'm just not like that. sweatdrop  

[Shiiba]

Haha, I've been called a gothlick as well. xd

Hm.. this one time someone said to get everyone in my class quiet, "Next person who talks after me is a homo!!" Well, being the idiots my peers are, everyone shuts up. I.. slowly stand up and proudly say with a smile. "I'm a homo!!" Needless to say I got a few glares and laughs from my fellow weird brothers and sisters mrgreen

And I've been called a dike, lesbian, a guy, weird chick, and other such names. I giggle and kick them heart

 

[NikiPaprika]

Anardana

***********************************
Our local chavs have a unique way of "insulting" people. Aside form the standard. It appears to involve picking somthing glaringly obvious about their target and asking the target if they have this trait...bizarre.

In practise it looks somthing like this..

chav (to my 6"6 boyfriend) - "EHHHHHHHHHHHH ow tall r u??"

from their tone of voice this was clearly supposed to be a rhetorical question.

chav (to me) - "EEEHEEHHEHEH how much blak do u av???"


I could cry for them I really could.

rofl

Chavs are the biggest ******** alive!!!

rofl

The most bizarrely obvious thing they have pointed out to me used to be "Ginger lemon!" Oh, clever. Oh goodness, look at that...I'm 15 years old and I have never even noticed my hair was ginger. Hm. Ta for telling me. Oh, and lemon? Yeah. I'm a lesbian. Your point being?

Chav: "Your a lemon, and that's just gross!"

Me: "And how is it gross?"

Male chav: "coz it's two girls kissing and it's jus no right"

Me: "I thought straight guys went for that thing? stare "

Male chav: "Aye, it's hawt, but it isnae when it's real with real lesbians..."

Me: *thinking* Hrm...straight, huh? I heard you in registration talking about watching porn with guys ******** girls up the a**..hrm...REAL straight...

Female chav: "Ano, that's sick, eh? Oh, and your a goff too! (yeah, that's how the pronounce it)"

Me: "Again, your point being? stare "

Female chav: "It's just weird. I bet you, like, live in graves and graveyards and aw that! And you kill yourself an' aw that...it's stupid!"

Me: *thinking*....from what you have just demonstrated, are you seriosuly considering that I am the one who is stupid?

Female chav: "And ye hink your aw hawt an awfin, but yer no!"

Me: *thinking* Just because your a fugly slut who has a s**t-for-brains boyfriend......>__<;;

Female chav: "Yir jist jealous o me! Ha ha ha ha! [insert creepy, insanely stupid laugh here]"

Me: *punch*

Ever since that incident, I've not had any hassle, or at least not as much as I used to get....

xD

 

[NikiPaprika]

Shiiba

Haha, I've been called a gothlick as well. xd

Hm.. this one time someone said to get everyone in my class quiet, "Next person who talks after me is a homo!!" Well, being the idiots my peers are, everyone shuts up. I.. slowly stand up and proudly say with a smile. "I'm a homo!!" Needless to say I got a few glares and laughs from my fellow weird brothers and sisters mrgreen

And I've been called a dike, lesbian, a guy, weird chick, and other such names. I giggle and kick them heart

I hear that retarded joke all the friggin' time, and yet it always seems to be another one of the ******** who started the whole thing anyways. xD

that's how stupid my peers are.

razz

 

[NikiPaprika]

x_Rena_x

Probably when a guy walked up to me in form class & shouted 'Goth!!'. He then turned round & ask 'Whats a goth?'

I seriously think someone bribed the school to that idiot in.

rofl

that really sounds like the time chavs took the mickie out of me, but instead it was more like "Lemon! HA HA! your a lesbian!" and I said "So ********?" and he went "Oh my god, your a lesbian?!?"

but yeah. that really sounds like a chav or a ned. XD

 

[[Gothika]]

They're to scared to insult me anymore.
I didn't know eyeliner was so scary.
But I think it's funny the wayt those Jehovah's Witness' look at me when I answer the door. It's like saying, "We have stumbled upon one of Satan's children! Avert your eyes!" I always laugh at them. Evily. It is funny.  

[thedarcnessinside]

I was walkin goin into the movie theater with 3 of my friends and a group of kids that looked to be about 17 threw a soda at us and MISSED.

i started laughing cuz im only 13 and they want to try and start somethin with us
and how could u miss when they were only 10 feet away?  

[KenshinZ18]

Him:Shut up You condom user!

Me: Wtf kinda insult is that you douchebag *points laughs at prep and walks away  

[Omega_Dragoon_Wolff]

Anything involving this line:
"...Lookin' ma" or "Lookin' mutha"

My comeback is usually consists of taking them apart and leaving them with a WTF look for the next five minutes. If some one insults my family, I go back two or three generartions and start there.  

[Omega_Dragoon_Wolff]

thedarcnessinside

I was walkin goin into the movie theater with 3 of my friends and a group of kids that looked to be about 17 threw a soda at us and MISSED.

i started laughing cuz im only 13 and they want to try and start somethin with us
and how could u miss when they were only 10 feet away?

Quite easily because my aim sucks  

[Nazo no Kanjojin]

popxpopxkittyxfcuk

well im a really witty person...
but it my wittyness isnt around when i want it to be..
so stupid insults are normally comebacks from me......

im just casually walking around the mall with my friend(also gothic~and we have the jingle bells thing going on with our tripp pants^.^)

dude:*whispers to friend*omg that girl is GOTHIC!!!!(like no one could hear him)

me:yOur mOthEr is gOthIC!

yea
thats almost my only comeback.
that and when people stare at me for long periods of time,whether theyre old people,highschoolers,toddlers or like middle schoolers its:

me:yOur jUst ~jealous~!
razz

would someone like to donate comebacks..... stare

I wouldn't mind. You need some. rofl
Note that some things you aren't supposed to comment on.

Dude: Why are you gothic?
You: Because if I was you, I'd be stupid, ugly, fat, illiterate, and a complete crap head. So go drag your knuckles somewhere else, stupid.

Or...

Dude: Why don't you go to hell, demon?
Me: because your mom is so fat, she takes up hell with her fat butt.  

[Nazo no Kanjojin]

Nevira Shadowfire

Last year, May 18th. My friends and I were going to the midnight premiere of Star Wars Ep. III, and we'd go to the theater right after school to get a good place in line, so we wore our costumes to school that day. (I was wearing my Sith robes, James his stormtrooper armor, Darien his Han Solo outfit, and Trinity her Amidala dress) At lunch James volunteered to take us to Jason's Deli, and when we walked out into the parking lot, I felt something whiz past my ear and slap on the ground before me. It was a piece of pizza! We turned around and saw a bunch of jocks, laughing at us and throwing food at us. One of them said, "Hey look, it's a bunch of Trekkies!"

Jocks calling Star Wars fans Trekkies.
That was unforgivable.

I stepped forward and brandished my lightsaber. Another jock said, "Hey, Trekkie, why don't you get Scotty to beam you up?" and threw a bottle of Coke at me. I batted it right back at him with my lightsaber! xd It landed at their feet and exploded, getting soda all over their shoes and jeans. twisted They howled in rage, and I said in my best Darth Vader voice, "Your powers are weak, old man!" and we left.

They never bothered us again. rofl

OMFG!!! U TEH PWND THEM!!! U R TEH 1337 HAXXORZ!!!!
That was awesome!!! rofl  

[Neon~Starshine]

Well, first I'd have to explain the full situation.

I'm Goth, yes, but I usually wear grunge-esque Goth clothing, like ******** up Converse, JNCOs, and baggy-ish black shirts. NOT slutty in any way, shape, or form.

The 3 other girls I was with dress as follows:

A punkish hippie that hardly ever shows an inch of flesh.

A girl that dressed completely plain and has never even been kissed.

And a self-proclaimed nerd who looks like an Eskimo and is also completely plain.

Well, there was this stupid emo kid that was a total a*****e, and I flipped out on him for eavesdropping on our conversation and making a bunch of dumbass, snide remarks.

So he called us a bunch of "Gothic whores." For the rest of the schoolyear, we used it as an inside joke. The emo left the school.  

[perrenthezombie]

People always yell things at me from their cars when I walk home...I was even called a terrorist once, probably on account of my lovely trenchcoat. But mostly people just stare and quickly look away if I look back at them. I take on a fairly scary look when I'm thinking, so all the normies are afraid of me. XP I get called goth sometimes, of course. It's so lame when people say that, I mean, do you really think I would dress the way I do if I was afraid of being called goth? tch. pathetic.  

[DieiNoctis]

Usually I get compliments on my attire. Granted, I usually don't go full-out like some people. For me it's usually a trench, steel toe boots, spiked choker, two spiked braclets on my left arm, and a chain braclet on my right. Black everything else.

Anyways, the best ones, insults and compliments, are always from kids.
I've had a few kids, with their moms right behind them tell me that they liked my necklace. And I'm talking, like, five here.

Funny one though was a little girl who pointed at me, turned to her mom, and said "What's wrong with him mommy?" The mom flushed and hurried her kid away.

As far as actual insults, freak is the most common when I'm just walking around.

The best response to "Freak" or "Goth" when used as in insult though is to just nod your head and cheerfully say "Yup."
They'll stare at you, their underdeveloped minds able to comprehend what just happened. They'll look embarassed, possibly reitterate their statment, and walk away embarassed.