Top 13 Reasons You Know You're A B-Rate Goth

[iconstonedragon]

AWESOME!!!!! I'm glad none apply to me i think  

[Hyatt-Insomnia]

Haha, mallgoths are always good for a laugh.

 

[awkward little thing]

Ophelia Rose

13. Your fake fangs glow in the dark

oh damn. i knew i shouldn't have bought the glow ones  

[Cactus Attack!]

what's wrong with black denim?......  

[Gothic Muffin of Doom]

Rellik San

13. Your fake fangs glow in the dark - Thats due to radiation poisoning. D:

12: Your white face comes in a tin with a picture of a clown on it. - Everyone knows clowns are evil

11: Black cape, Check! Top hat, Check! Acid-Mashed-Denim-Jeans???? What the hell is wrong with you?! - Okey even I don't have those.

10: Your cape is made of terry cloth and has the words Holiday Inn embroidered on it. - I don't have a cape.

9: No, you can't be a vampire and work at wal-mart! - Because vampires have office jobs. smile

8: For the last time, your mother's attic does not qualify as a "lair". - But the garage does.

7: You change your name from Bernie Weinstein to something really pretentious like "Count Lord Baron Maloderous" - I AM THE HIGH LORD VOUKAGLHACK!

6: Whats wrong with this picture: Vlad the Jampaler, 520 Pleasent Valley Way? - Erm... no.. just no. -_-

5: Two words; black denim! Face it, your a goth. There's no since in trying to be macho. Just imbrace your inner sissy and move on. - Whats wrong with black denim? D:

4: Congradulations! You're the only vampire I know who drives a Honda! - Because real vampires drive ford transit vans so they can store weapons in it easily.

3: Please explain to me why something who is 200 years old is still in the 8th grade. - Reincarnation.

2: You think Bauhaus is a home for dogs. Have you seen some of the people at a Bauhaus gig?

1: Right now you are mad as hell!!!! - Not really.

Lol, these comments are so funny.  

[LelandStanford]

O Thank You VoLtaire....How about the "Top 13 Reasons You Know That Your Suicide Attempt Was No More Than A Pathetic Cry For HeLp" ?? (aLso by VoLtiare):

13: Dr.Kevorkian has stopped returning your calls.

12: Your suicide note ended with, "I really mean it this time!"

11: For the last time, Pop rocks and Coke is not a killing combination.

10: Your answering machine message went, "I'm all alone, I have no friends, I'm going to kill myself, Akasha, I'll be at The Limelight tonight, you better have my Flock of Seagulls Cd.

9: Your suicide weapon of choice was one of those plastice spoon/fork/spork- type utensils you get in KFC

8: "Dear Diary, who do you think will be most upset?...'till then, ta ta!"

7: "Hello, Vlad? can you meet me at my house at 8:07pm? The front door will be open and I'll probably be up in my room. Oh, by the way, do you know the number for the poison control centre?"

6: You start giving away your wordly possessions but you keep all of the good s**t.

5: Local paper headline: "Goth Jumps from Groundfloor Window"

4: To the best of my knowledge, you can't overdose on Flintstones vitamins.

3: The operators at the suicide prevention line have come to referring to you as their mascot, "Snivels."

2: Because you are a loser and you have no friends and you've never done anything right in your life including taking your own miserable, pathetic little life, not that you would be missed because I assure you that when you decided to kill yourself, it was the one and only time anyone showed any support or enthusiasm in you or your endeavours. Thank you, Goodnight!

1: You are the lead singer of Depeche Mode  

[NekoYasha09er]

Bruises_Contrusions

O Thank You VoLtaire....How about the "Top 13 Reasons You Know That Your Suicide Attempt Was No More Than A Pathetic Cry For HeLp" ?? (aLso by VoLtiare):

13: Dr.Kevorkian has stopped returning your calls.

12: Your suicide note ended with, "I really mean it this time!"

11: For the last time, Pop rocks and Coke is not a killing combination.

10: Your answering machine message went, "I'm all alone, I have no friends, I'm going to kill myself, Akasha, I'll be at The Limelight tonight, you better have my Flock of Seagulls Cd.

9: Your suicide weapon of choice was one of those plastice spoon/fork/spork- type utensils you get in KFC

8: "Dear Diary, who do you think will be most upset?...'till then, ta ta!"

7: "Hello, Vlad? can you meet me at my house at 8:07pm? The front door will be open and I'll probably be up in my room. Oh, by the way, do you know the number for the poison control centre?"

6: You start giving away your wordly possessions but you keep all of the good s**t.

5: Local paper headline: "Goth Jumps from Groundfloor Window"

4: To the best of my knowledge, you can't overdose on Flintstones vitamins.

3: The operators at the suicide prevention line have come to referring to you as their mascot, "Snivels."

2: Because you are a loser and you have no friends and you've never done anything right in your life including taking your own miserable, pathetic little life, not that you would be missed because I assure you that when you decided to kill yourself, it was the one and only time anyone showed any support or enthusiasm in you or your endeavours. Thank you, Goodnight!

1: You are the lead singer of Depeche Mode

The ones bolded really made me laugh.  

[Kakei Setsunai]

Black demin!
lmao. XD  

[Jinx Noir]

Hilarious. But #5 needs rephrasing and number one isn't that funny or true.  

[TheWhiteRaven2501]

Umm...I live with my parents...is that bad?
Does a black 2004 Trailblazer count for something?  

[TheWhiteRaven2501]

I wear cotton garments but denim is also comfortable.
I love wearing gothic style clothing for the sole purpose of feel comfortable.
(Hint: weekend clothing) Cus' my work clothing dosent allow gothic wear
(Accept my collar) I loves my collar  

[Undead Goth Inc]

13. Your fake fangs glow in the dark

12: Your white face comes in a tin with a picture of a clown on it.

9: No, you can't be a vampire and work at wal-mart!

8: For the last time, your mother's attic does not qualify as a "lair".

7: You change your name from Bernie Weinstein to something really pretentious like "Count Lord Baron Maloderous"

4: Congradulations! You're the only vampire I know who drives a Honda!



rofl LMFAOROF rofl  

[Simim]

Sorceress Ameneka

Lol, I have that clown make up! But don't worry, I'm only using it for my Halloween costume.

I used some of that stuff to dress up like a geisha at Oni-con.
But OMG, does that s**t crack on your face. crying

 

[Ende_Neu]

First Post

Gotta love Voltaire. <3