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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:31 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 5:06 pm
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I used to. When I was younger, I cried quite oftenly.
Over time, so many sorrowful things happened, that now I can't cry anymore. My feelings are numb. When someone I know dies, at first, it just leaves me in shock. For the first 2 or 3 weeks. I become abnormally quiet, and alot less open. And I don't even know what to feel. Usually, I can look at my husband, and what hes feeling, I feel, but not when someone dies.
Eventually, after the first few weeks, I finally stop lying to myself. I finally tell myself that the person is gone, and resting in peace. And that's when I really break down.
So in other words, death doesn't make me cry at first, so i definately dont cry at funerals, but eventually, I just lose it, and at that point I do cry.
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:13 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 5:43 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:01 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:15 pm
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 12:02 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:52 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 2:08 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:36 pm
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 2:09 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:12 am
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Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:29 am
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This past Wednesday, a friend of mine from high school passed away.
So this weekend was spent at her viewings, funeral, and wake.
To make a long story short, we had a falling out somewhere along the line. By then end of high school we were more civil toward each other, but things weren't ever the same. We didn't keep in contact after high school either.
Basically, I didn't expect her death to affect me much. But I've come to learn over the years that, in my experience, death hits me the most when I'm really there to see their shell.
Her name was Monika. As soon as I saw her in the casket, I had to choke back tears. What was worse was the day of the funeral. There was the customary last pass over the casket before they closed it. After I said my goodbyes and hugged her mother and sister, I walked back toward my friend Jenn. Jenn and I don't cry over anything. She was sobbing. This caused me to shed more tears than what had been silently falling at the casket. I just held her. Then my other friends came back. Another of mine who never cries - Alex - was also crying hard. To see her in such a state just brought me to weep even more. We all just stood there holding each other and crying.
I do think a lot of it was just seeing my friends, who were so dear to me, crying like that. They all had known Monika longer than I. But for the most part, the reality of death never hits me until I really see the person for myself. I'm quite sure I wouldn't have cried over Monika's death had I not seen her. The pain of others feels more real to me when I'm there to experience it.
The same held true for when my grandmother died. When I heard she died I was sad, but when I saw her it was more of a reality.
I just felt like sharing that in this thread.
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Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 12:47 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:11 am
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