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 Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 10:42 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:21 am
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O RLY Version:
Vader: I R TEH LEET!
Luke: O RLY?
Vader: YA RLY!
Luke: NO WAI!
Vader: YA WAI! JOIN US AND B UBER!
Luke: OMGZORZ!!!!!!!!!11111 * joins the Dark Side *
Vader: NOW LETS GO PWN JEDI NOOBS!
Abusive Father version:
Vader: Join the Dark Side, it is your destiny.
Luke: No!
Vader: Did I say you could refuse, boy?
Luke: N-no...
Vader: That's right. I said join. And I mean now, dammit!
Luke: B-b-but...
Vader: * smacks Luke * Don't talk back to me, boy. I'll whup that a**.
Hard Of Hearing version:
Vader: Join the Dark Side, it is your destiny.
Luke: No, I don't know the real name of Destiny.
Vader: What about stealing fame?
Luke: We missed the train?
Vader: No, I didn't piss with pain.
Luke: You were hitting Miss DuCane?
Vader: I can s**t just fine, thank you.
Dragon Ball Z version:
Vader: Join the Dark Side, and we can use the Force Balls to give us immortality!
Luke: No! Ka-meh-ha-meh-HA! * fires a Force Push *
Vader: Fwuuuuu! * crashes into wall, tons of debris and smoke *
Luke: Haha! I beat you!
Vader: * smoke clears, is fine *
Luke: * gasp * No way!
Internet Chatroom version:
Vader: Join Dark Side, yo destiny and s**t.
Luke: ******** dat.
Vader: b***h, you suck.
Luke: Maybe so, but not like you do to Yoda.
Vader: WTF?
Luke: Pwnd!
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:54 pm
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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:33 pm
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:47 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:30 pm
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 8:25 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 2:18 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:15 am
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:12 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:43 am
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:04 pm
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((As Anakin and Obi-wan face each other down on Mustafar))
Anakin: I didn't want to do this, you know, become a Sith Lord or a Jedi.
Obiwan sad Looks puzzled) Um...
Anakin:Ever since I was a boy, Ive always wanted to be.... a lumberjack!
Obiwan: Wait...weren't we about to fight?
Anakin: Yes! A lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of a Temprate forest world! The smell of fresh cut timber!
((Scene shifts from Mustafar to wooded forest))
Obiwan: wait! what about our duel?!
Anakin sad Ignoring Obiwan))The giant redwood! The larch! The fir! The mighty Scots pine! With my best girlie by my side,((Enter Padme)) we'd sing... sing... sing!
(sings)
Anakin: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.
((Band of Vode apear and sing Chorus))
BoV Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Anakin: I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.
BoV Chorus: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory
On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Anakin: I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.
BoV Chorus: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press widlflowers.
((uneasily, looking to one another))
BoV Chorus: He puts on... women's... clothing? And hangs around... in... bars?
((bright as ever))
BoV Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Anakin: I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear mama.
BoV Chorus: He cuts down trees, he wears... high... heels? Suspenders? And a... bra?
((They look to one another, then arm their weapons.))
Anakin sad (Oblivious)) I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear mama!
Padme: Oh, Annie! And I though you were so butch!
Copy: Get down!((Lands on top of Padme as the BoV lights Anakin up like a Life Day Tree. Theta can be seen running around screaming like a wussy as he looses it again. When the smoke clears, Anakin is nothing but ash.))
Copy: Sorry about that Ma'am. Had to be done. ((Helps Padme up.))
((Zeta walks over to the ash pile and waves a tri-corder over it.))
Zeta: He's dead jim.
Sigma: Thank the Force. The 501st owe us big time for this.
Iota: hey, how do we get out of this forest?
Copy: That way. Double March.
Theta: ((Insert overly whinny and/or sarcastic remark here))
Copy: Shut up and get moving.
((as the Band of Vode move out, Copy waits by the Ash pile. Obi-wan apears and discreetly passes Copy a credt stick.))
Obiwan: Excellent Job Captain. oh bye the way, ((waves hand)) You never saw me.
Copy: I never saw you...
Obi-wan: You will go back to the Emperor and tell him Vader was killed by a falling tree.
Copy: I will go back to the Emperor and tell him Vader was killed by a falling tree...
Obiwan: Obi-wan Kenobi is the greatest Jedi that ever lived.
Copy: Obi-wan Kenobi is the greatest Jedi that ever lived.
Obiwan: I could get used to this....
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:21 pm
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:26 pm
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((a squad of the 501st stand at attention in parade ground fasion))
Commander Appo: Squad... CAMP it UP!
((Troopers all shout out in unison as they mince about))
501st: Ooh get her! Whoops, I've got your number ducky, you couldn't afford me dear, two three. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six. Whoops! Don't look now girls, the man has just minced in with that jolly colour Sergeant, two three. OOOOH!
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 2:08 pm
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((Come on. You can't think of witty banter? And its not whining, its just simple reasoning inconveiently placed. He still does his job, but he doesn't have to like it. think of him as a Vogon. Because he had a bad breakup, he doesn't see why anyoen else gets to be happy either))
Thrawn Dictates a script...
Thrawn: Angel, take a script.
Angel: Yes Senor Thrawn.
Thrawn: Don't call me Senor Thrawn. Call me Group Captain Thrawn, or Mary Thrawn if I'm dressed as my wife. But don't call me Senor. I've never even been to Sullust.
Angel: You went to Ithor last year.
Thrawn: That is no grounds for calling me senor! Or "Don Thrawn-legs" for that manner! Right. Opening scene, Chancellor Organa.
Angel: Of Alderaan, is that?
Thrawn: Just put down what I say!
Angel: Do I put that down?
Thrawn: Of course you don't put that down!
Angel: Well, what about that?
Thrawn: Look! Don't put that down. Just put down what I... wait a minute, wait a minute...
*Thrawn grabs Officer's cap and puts it on*
Now, when I have this cap on, I am dictating, and when I take them off, I'm not dictating.
Angel: *types* I'm... not... dictating...
Thrawn: What? *puts on cap* Read that Back.
Angel: Opening scene, Chancellor Organa, I'm not dictating. What?
Thrawn: No, no, no you loopy brothel inmate!
Angel: I've had enough of this! I'm not a courtesan.
Thrawn: Oh, oh Courtesan! Aren't we grand? Harlot's not good enough for us eh? Paramour, concubine, fille de joie, that's what we're not. Well listen to me my fine fellow, you are a bit of tail, that's what you are.
Angel: I am not, you demented fictional character.
Thrawn: FP says you are. He says you're no better than you should be.
Angel: And how would he know?
Thrawn: And just what do you mean by that? Are you calling my old fictional comrade-in-arms a fairy?
Angel: Fairy? Poof's not good enough for FP, is it? He's got to be a bleedin' Fairy! Mincing ol' Repbulic Queen.
Thrawn: FP, I'll have to see you.
FP: *intercom* Righto. *comes in dressed as normal sith lord* What ho, everyone?
Thrawn: Are you Gay?
FP: I should bally well say so old fruit!
*Thrawn pulls out blaster and kills FP*
Thrawn: Opening scene, Chancellor Organa... *takes off hat* Opening scene, Chancellor Organa. Enter Nelowulf with eels. CW thought they were really scrummy, comma, so does Cale, stop. Nelo's still suprized about finding out FP's a poof, exclamation mark. He wonders, what would Thrawn think, question mark. Enter Cale. *puts hat back on* Cale?
Angel: What?
Thrawn: Rhyming Slang, Frail Cale...
Angel: Oh.
Thrawn: Cale, I need to see you in my office.
Cale: *comes in dressed all in pink and short tight pants.* Yes, Thrawnie?
Thrawn: Are you a poof?
Cale: I should certainly say not! *stomps out the room*
Thrawn: Thank god for that!
Announcer: Next week, join us for Thrawn's fly is undone!
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