Lines You'll Never Hear

[Darkened Angel]

(( WTF is that? And why am I suddenly GAT's b***h? ))

( During the making of LoP, Trey and Angel are sucked into an Old English dimension. )

Angel: Yonder craft hath taken us to thine alternate dimension.
Trey: * locks on the ship * Have at thee!
Angel: Thou speaketh most confusingly.
Trey: Thou art affected by yonder world too.
Angel: Deliver us from thine world of linguistic confusion, thou must.
Trey: Smite thee, warp drive, to thine home kingdom!

( short while later )

Angel: Let's not go to that dimension again.
Trey: Let's also forget it ever happened.
Angel: Wanna have some... fun? wink
Trey: Nah.
Angel: Yeah, me neither.  

[Nelowulf]

((its taken from Monty Python's "Biggles dictates a letter", episode 33, named Salad days. I thought it fit so perfectly.))

Thrawn: Lemon Curry?  

[Darkened Angel]

( Naughty scene where Angel is about to join Trey for a little fun )

Angel: * just came in putting on a sexy bunny costume * Honey, I-OMG!
Trey: I can explain!
Mordranna: Angel! You're early!
Angel: How could you...?
Trey: I thought she was you!
Mordranna: I thought he was Sami!
Angel: There's no way I'm gonna overlook this!
Trey: Baby, please...
Angel: NO! You had another woman onboard this whole time, and had fun with her... WITHOUT ME! * stomps toward them angrily *
Trey: Baby, calm down.
Angel: * grabs Mordranna's arm and jerks her towards herself, then starts getting intimate *
Trey: ... I need popcorn for this...  

[Sol Walker]

((Scene: Boba Fett, Rifle in hand, is trailing a line of bootprints))
Fett: Shhh. Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting Smuggwews.
((Trails line of prints to the Millenium Falcon.))
((Fett knocks on hull. the ramp lowers and Han Solo steps out.))
Han: Mmmyeeah ((flips a coin)) Whats up doc?
((Fett points Blaster at Han))
Fett: Hah! I got you now you wascawy smuggwew!
((Han plugs the blaster barrel with his finger))
((Fett pulls the trigger. Blaster explodes in his face. Han is unharmed.))
Han: Might wanna have that gun checked Doc.

Thats All Folks!  

[Darkened Angel]

(( That just opened up an idea... ))

( A Twileek thug, Rad, is trying to convince a bounty hunter to shoot Cale for his bounty instead of his own. )

Rad: Corellian season!
Cale: Twileek season!
Rad: Corellian season!
Cale: Twileek season!
Rad: Corellian season!
Cale: ... Corellian season!
Rad: Twileek seaon!
Cale: Corellian season!
Rad: I SAY IT'S TWILEEK SEASON, AND I SAY FIRE!

* bounty hunter shoots Rad *  

[Sol Walker]

((Cont.))

(Rad stands their dazedly, still alive but in cartoony fasion burnt to a crisp. Cale draws a pie out of nowhere and smirks.)
Cale: If I do dis, I get a whippin'.
(barely considers it)
Cale: I do'd it!
(Slaps the pie in the thug's face)  

[Darkened Angel]

(( Cont. ))

Rad: You're despicable! * stomps off *
Hunter: * points blaster at Cale *
Cale: Eh... What's up doc?
Hunter: You're mine now, outlaw!
Cale: Look over there! * points *
Hunter: What? Where? * looks *
Cale: * dives into a hole *
Hunter: You b*****d! * starts shooting down the hole *
Cale: * comes up through another hole, dressed like a woman * What you shooting at, big boy?
Hunter: * goes nuts over Cale in drag, oblivious to the poor disguise for some stupid reason * Well, I was just... shooting this... outlaw...
Cale: * plants one on the hunter *
Hunter: Ger-hugh-oh-heheh-dur... * accidentally shoots himself in the foot * OW!
Cale: * jabs the hunter in the stomach, somehow stretches his helmet all the way down over his body, then knocks him over * Later, doc! * runs away at lightning speed *  

[Sol Walker]

*GAT appears*
GAT: That is all gentlebeings.
*Porky pig rolls in his grave*  

[Darkened Angel]

(( Porky's dead? Well... that explains the ham last night. ))

Boba Fett: I'm the most rootin' tootin' blaster-slingin' bush-whackin' varmit this side of the rim!
Cale: Sure doc, but can you draw a gun?
Boba: Can I draw? Bwahahahahaha! Alright, Corellian. We'll draw.
Cale: 1... 2... 3!
Boba: * hits the floor, draws a gun on a paper *
Cale: Hmm... Um-hm... It stinks.
Boba: WHAT!? You dog-gone idjut galoot! * chases Cale around *  

[Nelowulf]

((Time to end the surrealism))

Imperius: Kill the Outwaw, Kill the Outwaw, kill the outwaw!
Cale: Oh why do you *choked by FP* But.... its... supposed... to be.... car...toon...y... *dies*

Imperius: Silly outwaw, tricks are for sith.  

[Sol Walker]

((Cale suddenly snaps back to life as a sudden realization croses his mind. He stands up despite Imperious's attempts to force choke him.))
Imperious: Why don't you die?!
Cale: Because you don't exist. Trey cast you off when he came to the light side of the force. So something that does not exist can not be a threat.
((Imperious considers this.))
Imperious: aw Nertz.
((Vanishes in a cloud of smoke.))
((Cale chuckles and takkes a pull from his flask))
Cale: Gosh, ain't I a stinker?  

[Nelowulf]

The Outlaw's guide to teh galaxy addendum:

Cale Darksun:

Cale Darksun is a pirate who ruled the Darksun clan. Despite all their success, the Darksun's have always had problems in believing they were gods. The Encyclopedia Galactica call the members are a bunch of mindless jerks who will be first against the hull when the mutiny comes.

Strange enough, an Encyclopedia Galactica fell through a wormhole, and traveled into the past, which reads as the definition of the Darksun clan as a bunch of mindless jerks who were first against the hull when the mutiny came. With the erasing of the Darksun clan, Pirating moved into a golden age and a more lucrative buisness, that of internet insurance agencies, and experienced profits a hundred times greater than simply flying around in ships and screwing the local populace.

On a side note, the Encyclopedia Galactica suprizingly has this definition next to every corellian in existance. Coincidence? Yes.

((Its lines you'll never hear. And I garuntee you'll never hear it.))  

[Sol Walker]

((I'm getting mighty tempted to fuse the RP mockery thread with this one and delete the Shard's of the Force Blooper Reel thread))  

[Darkened Angel]

Cale: Hey Rain, wanna play a game of Pazaak?
Rain: I thought you played Sabacc.
Cale: Yeah well, I figured I'd try something new.
Rain: Sure then, but explain things 1st.
Cale: Okay. * explains the game * We'll play with Nar Shaddaa rules.
Rain: Okay.

( Later, post-game )

Rain: Wow, that was actually kinda fun.
Cale: Shut up and give me a towel or something already.  

[Nelowulf]

On Cale's SSD....

Cale: Now where can I park this thing?