AFG Sallies

[FogSage]

After almost six months of sobriety and one day alone in his apartment, my father convinced someone from his workplace to buy him alcohol. At this point, there's no hope. He's going to die doing what he thinks makes him happy, which is drinking himself into a stupor. We can do nothing. He had his chances, we gave him more than enough time, but in the end, he cares nothing for what anyone thinks about him and cares everything for his precious addiction.

No wonder I hate my father so much. He's weak. He is weak and it disgusts me. He may have paid my way through childhood and even now is paying for my college, but I hate him. He's being so selfish, to go through all that time without alcohol, when in fact I'm sure he was just DREAMING about it all day, not caring about us doing s**t for him, just dreaming about the day when he and the bottle could once again become one. He cried when we helped him move back into his apartment, though now I have my doubts about whether he was crying tears of joy for being alone, or because he could finally do all the bad s**t he wants without us interfering.

If he says he loves me, I'm going to spit in his face, for I'll never trust that man again after he can be so damn two-faced about everything.  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

Well, my birthday at home was, for the most part, once again ruined by my parents. GG.

My god, I sometimes wonder how the heck they can even stand telling me they support my transition when they up and give me ******** men's perfume as a birthday present, that was downright insulting to me on the spot. stressed

Oh well. I hid out the rest of the day playing City of Villains with Lunther, Nalo came over to keep me company, and today my friends took me out for pizza.

I'm also considering a coworker's offer for housing, as at this rate, I'll never be able to save up money over time with these morons I have to call parents mooching off everything I make to pay their damn bills and crap.
I just really hope I won't have to call the police to get my stuff out of the house.  

[Manda_Tifa]

Aww...If it's any consolation, Happy Birthday from me, Doomie!!! heart  

[Krissim Klaw]

Ok, I'm really depressed right now, and it has to do with a mantis.

It all started about two weeks ago when I had a little college graduation party my parents threw together. It was a family get together, and I had a lot of fun during it. I found out however, my cousin had tried to order me two baby mantises as a surprise gift. He originally ordered an orchid mantis and strong arm mantis. They apparently arrived alive, but when he went to get them for the party the next day, he discovered they had died.

They were shipped in tiny glass tubes and needed to be taken out upon arrival, but he isn't familiar with mantises so he thought they would be fine for a day. Of course the people who sold them, most likely raise all the babies in those little tubes to begin with.

The people at the site though did offer to credit him since those died so soon like that. He was going to have it done so they would be shipped directly to my house this time. I was immediately worried over the whole matter. Summer temperatures down here are brutal and a lot of people don't ship mantises at this time because of that. Even though the poor bugs where shipped next day shipping it was too much on them

I told him to try for the Asian one because they are one of the hardiest species you can get, and I figured it had the most chance of survival. Thus, they shipped it, along with a surprise mantis of another species, which I got over a week ago

The surprise mantis was a grass mantis that was missing a leg, and looked dead upon arrival. Its legs were crumpled and my dad and me thought it was dead at first, but I noticed it move its front claw. We immediately took it out of the cage, pulled a feeder worm that was wrapped around it off, and placed it on a napkin where it died within a half hour. At least it was able to die free from the horrid tube of worms.

The people who sent the mantises did a crappy job. First off they sprayed too much water in the cages. Second off they had some kind of worm thingies for food, that were way too large for the mantises and way too many in each little cage. For one day shipping they shouldn't have even put food with the mantises. As much as the poor guys are bounced around the last thing they need to worry about is annoying worm creatures bumping into them constantly. Then to top it off, both of the mantises were skinny.

The Asian was just barely clinging to life when I got him. Because the humidity had been too high in the cage, he had some kind of fungus/mold growth on his legs, joints of his claws, and a large splotch along his eye. Normally I have only seen it on my older mantis when their health starts going. He was still a baby though so I held a very slim hope he might have been able to shake it.

I immediately moved him to a nice screen cage and got him to eat five moths on the arrival, and he seemed to gain back some strength but was still very weak. I kept expecting him to die, but one week later he was still alive. By this point the fungus had completely covered his left eye so it was jet black and useless.

I was so surprised at how long he clung on, that I finally broke down and let myself get attached enough to name him Pirate. I figured his only hope of survival was if he could rid himself of the fungus in his next shedding.

Well, tonight, he finally attempted to shed. As soon as I looked into the cage I knew something was wrong. It looks as if his head has not properly hardened underneath do to the fungus, and has a bubble of goo surrounding it. He is currently just dangling half in his old skin and if he isn't dead, I believe he will be soon.

Needless to say the whole event has left me heartbroken. Through all his sickness and cruel treatment, Pirate was still a little friendly sweetheart.  

[Selene Aries]

*offers Kriss a hug* sad

Never an easy thing to deal with when it is something you care about.  

[Sunegami]

Awww, Kriss, I'm so sorry. =T T=  

[Manda_Tifa]

Oh Kriss, that's awful! You should report the mantis site for...I dunno something. Animal Cruelty or bad advertising or SOMETHING.... crying  

[Krissim Klaw]

Thank you everyone, it really does mean a lot that you all care (huggles everyone)  

[Af Mas]

It really makes me wonder how these places can still be in business when the insects they ship keep dying like that. It's really upsetting, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that Kriss  

[Sonya Khatsworth]

Sloooow morning today. Having chicken and coffee for breakfast. Chillin' with music as always, and

OMFG.

Lunther told me he had gotten me a present and that it would get here today.
So yeah, I thanked him and bunch of times and sent him some <3's, which is sadly most of what I can do from up here, but, oh god, I really wish we lived closer so I could just kiss him now. I knew he told me I'd love it, but I really never expected this.

He sent me the book : "The Making of Doom 3".

By the cogs, I had to hold myself in so I wouldn't burst into a fangirl squeal when I opened the package this morning.

I am so happy right now. Omg.


On a less bright yet still somewhat okay cool note, I found an amazing painting in the trash this morning.
APPARENTLY, mom was throwing it away because "it has a scratch and the border frame's white is stained."

DEAR GOD WOMAN, show some appreciate for art! Fesus juck, since when do you keep art for the white border? That's just plain out there.

Oh well, I took it out, washed the frame and put it up in my room. No way I'm letting an amazing masterpiece like that go to waste, I know my dad's mom would have blown a fuse seeing my mom do that. burning_eyes
I suppose it takes artists who know how hard these kinds of things are to make to appreciate the amount of work, detail and perfectionism that goes into such things.

Or maybe my mom's just an idiot, which wouldn't be far off.

Oh well.
MAKING OF DOOM 3.
SQUEEEEEEE. heart  

[Crenn]

Glad to hear you're happy doomie.  

[Crenn]

I've finished the majority of my work now. I have one laptop left before I get paid, but so far I've clocked up 24 hours of work!

It's certainly been interesting.  

[FogSage]

Much to my ire, at two AM this morning my closet rod broke from the enormous amount of weight on it. I was just laying in bed, just settling down....not thinking about Michael Myers coming to rip out my jugular....when BANG!

I promptly fell off the edge of the bed, swearing violently. Looked in my closet...and all my clothes are on the floor, the rod laying on top of them. Joy joy.

*pouts* Now all my shirts are in a big mound....I'm sad.

Also, painters came by and painted my room. It's a little bright for me, but I suppose it'll have to do. Next time, I'm going to seriously research the colors before I just pick one out. The first one was a terracotta orange color, which then gave way to a shade lighter, which is now peach. I'm not thrilled about it, but my aunt paid for it, and she said she won't paint it again for three years, by which time I'll be out of the house. Le sigh.  

[FogSage]

I hate to double post, but there's something bothering me.

My step-mother is divorcing my father. She was his common-law wife for a little over six-seven years. I liked her because while she was tough, she was also very kind to me. I liked her daughters and although I don't talk very often to either of them, they have told me that they see me as a little brother.

The problem does not lie with them. It lies with my step-mother. And with the rest of MY family. On my last trip, and on ones before that, my grandmother has been increasingly nosy. She keeps asking me about the relationship with my stepmother and father, and dropping not-so subtle hints that my loyalty should be towards my father and not her. I feel faintly angered by this, by this attempt to turn me against her.

Their relationship was over the minute my step-mother found out my father was an alcoholic. It started to deteriorate quickly. My father blamed my step mom, my step mom blamed my father, and I sided with my step mom. I was angry. I hadn't known my father was an alcoholic until she told me, and it was this that caused my anger towards him, for hiding it, for lying to me, for making me believe what might not be true.

Things are getting worse here. My step mom isn't speaking to me or to my aunt, who feels insulted. It's to be expected, though. What worries me more is that my mother has been using my dad's credit card to pay for the house she's living in (really our house, but she's the caretaker, I guess).

My aunt and dad say she shouldn't be using HIS credit card to pay for it. I'm like "Why not? It's still OUR house. She has no obligation to pay for it." I know she's freeloading in a way, but still, the house belongs to Dad and is his responsibility. If he thinks she owes him something, he's sorely mistaken. She owes him nothing except perhaps some money and furniture, which she might get when we sell the house and divvy up the remainder between my dad and her.

I don't know. I don't know whether I should be angry at my step mother because she's starting to act like a freeloader and a grabby one at that, or at my father for being such an IDIOT.

Sometimes, I just wish I was neutral on the subject and didn't let it bother me.  

[Katzekinder]

I've been depressed lately. I've been thinking about death. I know, pretty angsty of me, right? But.. death. No more activity in the brain.. no more thinking.. no more you. Nothing. It just ends. It's terrifying to think about, but that's why you have to make the most of what you have. It's silly to think you can live on after. The question I have is.. well.. it's hard to explain. Not reincarnation. Not the soul passing on. But.. like, you restart a game. The main character still goes through the same motions. Is it going to be like that? Is there a possibility that maybe everyone is just one conciousness, echoing itself through every intelligence ever, forever and ever and ever but not even realizing it?.. Living everyone's lives, from everyone's viewpoint?

I.. get confused and afraid whenever I try to think about it anymore. my throat locks up with anxiety, thinking about the End of It All.

It's harsh. It's real harsh. *sigh*