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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:27 am
Emperor Palpatine: I am wearing womens underwear and it fells good.
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 6:42 am
Vader: Luke... I am your Father Luke: NOOOOOOO! Vader: Now son, about this zooming through the galaxy buisness...
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Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:22 am
Vader: Luke... I am your Father Luke: oh god not this again
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Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:54 pm
Boba Fett: (upon being asked on how to kill a Mando) Now, see, I find that question in itself very rude. I have trained myself for many years so that I may never have to ask someone how to kill them, and on a proffesional level I think that they apreciate it. Not that ive ever been able to prove this. Dead scum tell no tales. Killing a Mando is a terrible thing to do. Mando'ade have a very important place in the Ecosystem of the universe. We Kill. We are the predators that keep lesser beings in check. And when you kill all the wolves, you end up with a crapload of bunnies. and by bunnies I mean stupid people. And its really Sad when a Mando dies. Theres the funeral, everyone wears black armor, and then we got the bagpipes that play "Darasum Kote" all through the event.And as the funeral pyre burns We then take the Banner of Mandalore, fold it very small into a perfect triangle, and then we throw it at the deceased's surviving spouse. Takes their head right off. Then we usually begin taking out the deceased's surviving kin and throw their bodies on the fire as well. You have to always be on guard when at a Mando funeral. *ahem* excuse me a momment *sips water through a straw* usually I dont talk much so naturally my throat is rather dry at this point. now, where was I? oh yes. *Sigh* alright, I beat around the bush on this subject enough. Time to get to the point. Now, If you absolutely have to kill a mando, Its surprisingly simple. All you have to do is -------Censored----- and then once you're one with that you just----------Censored-------- gelatious beam cannon that juts rises up out of the box, -----------Censored------------ and then you need to kidnap MC Chris and ----------Censored---------Put all the Nerfs in a garbage masher-----------Censored------- But there's still more work to be done----------Censored----------- Once you've realigned the satellite -----------Censored----------- Wedge Antilles ----------Censored-------- And if you could position yourself right about in line with ------------Censored---------- *Arms gun* --------------Censored------------ If you thouroughly make sure you grease the hawkbats--------------Censored----------- and there. Complete. Your Mandalorian should be just one more cooling corpse. perhaps I have said to much... I thank you for your question and I look forward to hunting you down and killing you In the immediate future.
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:08 am
R2-D2: Well, I think that this new Basic modulator chip is working quite nicely.
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 4:36 am
Vader: I am your father. Leia is your sister. Luke: This is very interesting, but stupid! Vader: That's it, I'm calling the stormies! Uh, Mr. Durnam, get in here! Stormie: My name is Duran. Say it with me. Duran, Duran. Vader: This is getting annoying. * Force chokes the stormie to death * Stormie 2: He's dead, Jim. Vader: ENOUGH WITH THE REFERENCES! Mister Palpatine, set course for the next scene, warp 9. Engage!
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:26 pm
Officer: Admiral, rebels have boarded the ship. We cannot fend them off. Admiral: Damn! We can't allow them to steal our plans. Set auto destruct sequence. Officer: Self destruct sequence set. Awaiting your command. Admiral: Initiate final countdown. * comm system starts play Europe's " Final Countdown " song *
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:35 pm
((Never actually heard that one.)) Imperial Officer: Lord Vader, I admit it, the defeat was my fault. Vader: Oh, it's ok, you tried your best.
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 4:11 am
Obi Wan: Luke, I will now teach you how to feel the Force. Luke: I am ready, Master Kenobi. Obi Wan: * starts a fire * Now, 1st... * breaks into song and dance * You've got to move it. Feel the temperature, into the rhythm. Let the fire burn! So get into it, get into the trance. This is the rhythm of the tribal dance! Luke: ... And how will this help? Obi Wan: You know, I honestly have no idea. But it feels good.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:01 pm
[Vader sitting in a la-z-boy at the bridge of his ship]:Admiral Admiral:Yes, milord Vader:Turn on some relaxing music Admiral:*turns on radio, it is on a classic rock station, "Burnin", By No connection, starts playing* Vader:*Uses saber throw on the admiral and force pushes the scan button on the radio* Radio razz lay that funkay music, white boy. Vader:*screams* *uses saber throw on the radio and the saber hits the radio and bounces of it and knocks out the windows, causing a vacuum that sucks everyone out, before choking to death, vader attempts to ignite his saber through his head, but is crushed by the pressure and implodes.* [It then turns out that it is just luke dreaming, he then chuckles and says "Retarted emo freak."]
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:23 pm
((too rushed))
Obi-wan: For a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace in the galaxy.
Luke: What happened?
Obi-wan: Well, Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine, was consumed by the dark side, and helped the Empire hunt down the jedi...
Luke: And?
Obi-wan: Well, the Jedi found their taxes audited.
Luke: *shock*
Obi-wan: You must come with me to Alderaan.
Luke: Look, I hate the Empire and all. Just last week they eminent domained ten of our moisture vaporators to put in a new hydoponics shop. But I cannot go with you to Alderaan. I can take you as far as Anchorhead.
Obi-wan: But I need you! I can teach you the ways of the Tax!
Luke: The tax?
Obi-wan: Yes. Its a force that is on every living thing, that binds the Breaucracy together. Its the source of a Jedi's power, the ability to manipulate the laws to conform to our demands. Oh. I nearly forgot.
*obi-wan pulls out a strange object*
Luke: What is it?
Obi-wan: Its your father's income records. More precise than an unwieldy calculator. A more civilized weapon for a more civilized age...
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:35 pm
((okay...))
Vader: I feel pretty....oh so pretty....
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:56 pm
((I found it hilarious.)) Anyone: Aw, screw it! I'm gonna just go watch South Park.
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Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:34 am
Rebel: Whoa, are these really plans for a new Death Star? Hologram of Death Star: * switches to a red-cloaked Palps * NOBODY EXPECTS THE IMPERIAL INQUISITION!
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:48 am
Vader: Luke, I am your father. Go get a haircut, you hippy! Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *clings to his hair*
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