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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:28 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:22 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:13 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:14 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:35 am
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I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm an utter failure at college algebra and will probably never pass it.
I should go dig ditches for a living. That's all I'm good for.
No, not even that. Without passing algebra, I can't do anything with my life. I'll be lucky if I can make fries at a ******** Burger King, the way this is all going.
I feel like doing something selfish, hateful, and irrational. Like calling my grandmother and telling her that I can't come to visit for Christmas. I can't even pass ******** algebra, why should I go there just to hear the same "You need to lose weight, you need to pay attention in class, you need to do this, you need to do that", and my uncles and aunts and their ******** perfect children with their perfect ******** grades, mocking me.
I blame the internet for this, really. The internet is a huge distraction to me. Unless I live in Alaska or something where it's hard to get internet, I'll never be able to pay proper attention to anything. I try to make myself happy, spending money on pixels that I hoard for no reason other than to feel superior, but the superiority is hollow and has no meaning to it.
I hate my life. I hate it with a passion sometimes. I feel like I'll never change, that for the rest of my pathetic life I'll be a stupid a*****e who's only means of social interaction is working at a fast food place and who will never find love, never have sex, never be accepted. It's so ******** ******** up.
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:46 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:11 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:16 pm
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Everything will be okay. It'll all work out.
Even if everything goes wrong, there's always death at the very end. It's not going to last forever.
It's sad, to think that that's the reasoning that's getting me through my days now.
I exploded sadness all over Dan, and now I feel guilty and stupid. Sobbing over a steering wheel. Heh, and to think the last time this happened he asked me "do you think this is attractive?" Hell, it's the farthest thing from attractive, hon, I know, and that's why it's so hard to let it out. But I can't just.. hold everything in. Especially not when my dad is freaking out at me because I'm sick and want you to drive the car home for me. With me in it, of course.
Sigh. I'd quit my job, if my manager didn't need me so much. Imagine the circumstances you'd have to be under to make the kleptomaniac a keyholder. Yeah. Yankee Dollar sucks to work at.
$7.50 an hour is not enough to put up with being a step above cashier at a retail place that sells it's entire inventory at $1.08 per item including tax.
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:28 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:19 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:46 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:54 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:58 pm
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Not sure if this is the drink making me talk, or if it's something I'd normally ask, but.
I like to think I'm a reasonable guy. I believe in things like monogamy, chastity (that's sex only in serious relationships, not celibacy) and serious relationships too. And I think I have a not-unreasonable idea of the kind of person I'd like to have a serious relationship with - nice, smart, intellectual, you know?
At the same time, I have a small number of female friends I don't have a romantic interest in. They're certainly very nice, but... I'm not really interested. Yet...
How to put this?
I've been approached by two of them. Not straight-up "Hey, let's go to bed," but more subtle invitations than that. What kills me is that my mind says "Yes, sure," because, well, do I need to explain? and my mouth always smiles and says "No". It annoys me, and I wonder how they felt about it.
Sorry I rambled. Ethanol lululu
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:09 pm
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The Mantis Queen Eddily Ouch, did you lose alot of stuff in the process? Nope, didn't loose anything, though I would have lost a bunch if I had to use the backup disk. Thankfully I always save all my artwork, commissions, gift art along with my written stuff on backups, but it still would have been a pain to have reloaded all my programs, re do all my settings, and I would have lost some other minor things I have saved on the comp. XP Oh, sorry but it will probably take me a day or two to get to the sketch. With my computer down I wasn't able to use photoshop for the last couple of days. sweatdrop Oh I see, they just reinstalled Windows over itself then? not reformat it? That's good then. ^_^
Okie dokie, I appreciate the update. =3
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:12 pm
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My views on sexual relationships is a little unique, an attempt to balance the concept of celibacy and debauchery.
While I am firmly against people that have just met, or don't know each other very well, from having sex I am fully up for people that are well acquainted, especially friends and family, having casual sex. It feels good, is therapeutic and can help strengthen the bonds with those you care about. As long as their is no kind of commitment with a particular person, one should never restrict their sexual experience.
On the other hand I am a strong believer in monogamous relationships and that is you wish to be with someone on you have to commit yourself fully to them, in mind, body and soul. Though, I am also someone that promotes swinging. While I despise people that cheat and scowl at those that try to maintain multiple relationships, openly having sexual encounters that you and your partner both trust and agree on to do something with together should always be a consideration.
Never hurts to have friends with benefits, just as long as it is clear to all that there is no serious relationship with any kind of commitments or responsibility attached. This is where poly-relationships fail, because they try to act like there are deeper feelings going on when in truth there are just a bunch of sex buddies.
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