HEAR YE CITIZENS OF NOSGOTH! (Please Excuse the Cobwebs)

[Seraphim Skye]

Wow, I didn't even know that whales liked tea.
O.o

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Seraphim Skye

Wow, I didn't even know that whales liked tea.
O.o

How could they not!

Sorry, it doesn't show my thread updated often in the guild of 'recent' threads here. XD I didn't mean to ignore this.

--

*a gust of wind blows all of the dust out of the news room and it is once again immaculate*

News. Network. Nine. NOW.

*JazzyUpbeat tune comes into play as the camera pans to Hatter sitting at the front desk again fussing with a pile of papers.*

Good evening everyone. Welcome to Circle of Nine News Network. We apologize for the inconvenience we have brought to all of you by having this major hiatus.

So let's start the day off with our daily news report! Let's take it now live to our Nature Guardian Bane now to give us an update on the Nature of Nosgoth right now.

Bane: O___O Well...ahem. Madame. I am standing here right now with what appears to be a...uh..

Well I suppose you could count demons as a form of nature so...I'm standing here with one of those massive minotaur demons you find in our resident land of Nosgoth. Tell me good uh...sir. What is it like being a nature resident of Nosgoth?

Demon: D8< ROAAAR!!!

Bane: Um...Madame, I-I don't think I want to uh...disrupt the creature from its present state of...territory.

Hatter: All right then thanks for Trying Bane, let's pan to our fan-favorite MINItaur, Pianoface. Perhaps you can quell the beats of this kin of yours.

Pianoface: : D Precisely madame, *holds up his microphone to the demon* Good afternoon sir-

Demon: ROARRR!!!

Pianoface: -x- It helps to know a second language. Please excuse the barbaric chatter I am about to reveal* *begins gnashing his teeth and stomping his little hooves like a madman to relay message*

Demon: *answers back, pounding fists at chest*

Pianoface: : D Ah, Madame. He says that he's a much needed chaos factor in nature here in Nosgoth. If somebody won't do it, who will?

Hatter: 8D Wow Pianoface! Thanks for that.

Demon: >8D RAR?

Pianoface: -x- no good sir, you may not eat me. I'm a valued member of this news team. You're on t.v

Demon: o.O *looks into Camera* 8D *waves at it*

Hatter: : D Thanks Bane, Pianoface. In other CNNN news, the city of Ziergusthl has just received some very disturbing reports about...o.o *looks at script*
Um...that some crazed older gentleman is running around, digging up the recently deceased and...oh god. Um..should I read this?

Is this right?

Mortanius: Eh? *leans over next to her to read* D8< WHO PUT THIS IN HERE?! I DO NOT RUN AROUND AND RAPE THE DEAD BODIES I USE MY NECROMANCY ON! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Sullivan: XD BAHAHAHAH! *laughs as he adjusts the camera*

Hatter: -x- We'll be back with your regularly scheduled News Network after these messages.

--

*cue commercial*  

[Scrab Demon]

Do you get buttcramps from uncomfortable chairs?

Has your favorite seat become your rear end's worst enemy?

Backpains, neck pains, hemorrhoids, crankiness, and the urge to yell at people tresspassing on your lawn are all symptoms typical of a worn out chair.

Introducing, Pain In My a**! The cushion made for pained asses!

Just set it underneath the cushion of your favorite chair, or sit on it as is!

It's ergonomic design helps correct posture, and it's patented squishy material feels great!

Just ask our satisfied customers!

*cuts to a shot of Nupraptor in his wheelchair*

Nupraptor: Dude! What is this made of, it feels awesome! *turns his head as if listening to someone off camera as his expression slowly turns into one of horrified disgust*

WHAT! IT'S MADE OF-

*immediately cuts to a shot of a miserable looking kain with his arms crossed, glaring at his throne which has the horribe pink cushion on it*

Kain: ...

...

No.

*cuts to raziel*

Raziel: *is looking insulted* Is this another joke about how I don't have an a**?

--

Pain In My a**! Now available!  

[Lufian]

It's been a long time. I was on a self-imposed purge from all things electronic. ... Needless to say, more than a decade of technological dependance made that ridiculously difficult. I am back once more.

inb4 who the hell is that

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Lufian

It's been a long time. I was on a self-imposed purge from all things electronic. ... Needless to say, more than a decade of technological dependance made that ridiculously difficult. I am back once more.

inb4 who the hell is that

o.o Eh?  

[Lufian]

MadxHatterxTeapot

Lufian

It's been a long time. I was on a self-imposed purge from all things electronic. ... Needless to say, more than a decade of technological dependance made that ridiculously difficult. I am back once more.

inb4 who the hell is that

o.o Eh?

Nevermind. Ignore the ramblings of someone getting used to a keyboard again.

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Lufian

MadxHatterxTeapot

Lufian

It's been a long time. I was on a self-imposed purge from all things electronic. ... Needless to say, more than a decade of technological dependance made that ridiculously difficult. I am back once more.

inb4 who the hell is that

o.o Eh?

Nevermind. Ignore the ramblings of someone getting used to a keyboard again.

XD Oh okay.  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

*a lone spider drops down from his lone little corner in the room and crawls up to the news station radio and turns it on air*

It's News. It's Now. It's Circle of Nine News Network.

Hi! 8D I'm Speckle the Spider and I'll be filling in tonight for Miss Hatter.

So then, you guy all know how this place is generally dead and everyone is constantly cleaning up cobwebs-well those are all of my cobwebs.

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Speckle the Spider. I've lived up in the corner of this place for the past three years. Though I'm hard to spot I've come to find this place quite cozy and warm.

*a sudden banging is at the door outside*

Well everyone let's get started with this evening's news report.

Yesterday a horde of my 'cousins' the Zephonim rampaged through the Coorhagen Symphony Hall. Now I know us spiders don't react to a lot of music but that Opera singer down there I heard wa sso terrible her sound waves decimated the Zephonim webs and left them all in a very sticky situation. YOWZA. Needless to say 40 people were killed in the chaos and the opera singer...was most likely saved for a later snack. *ahem* *begins knitting some webby socks*

Let's take it over to our fellow Death Guardian Mortanius whom is at the scene assessing the Death Damages. Mortanius.

Mortanius: O__o I'm sorry....are you...are you a spider hosting the news show?

Speckle: :3 Why yes I am.

Mortanius: you're a rather large spider.

Speckle: I'm about the size of Big Mac yeah. there are bigger. :3 SO! Tell us about the Death toll today,

Mortanius: Will it include you later today? Not many people like Spiders.

Speckle: AHEM. DEATH. TOLL. Please.

Mortanius: 40 souls passed on today. I will be returning to the scene of the rampage later this evening to retrieve their remains to play with necromancy with them.

Speckle: Oh. How nice. :3 Is it for scientific research?

Mortanius: I cannot take this news cast seriously. WHY IS THERE A SPIDER IN THE NEWS CHAIR?

Speckle: D: We'll be right back after these messages. Stay tuned.  

[Lieutenant Turel]

*scoffs* I do not know what opera hall you refer to, but my theatre is full of well trained musicians and vocalists.  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Lieutenant Turel

*scoffs* I do not know what opera hall you refer to, but my theatre is full of well trained musicians and vocalists.

Speckle: o.o *flips through papers on the desk* ooooh. It says right here. Coorhagen. :3 See. *shows*  

[Lieutenant Turel]

Given that I own an Opera House in Coorhangen, are you implying, little man, that you have the better capacity to train and determine who is a better vocalist? Also, assuming that the spiders otolar frequency was one that was discomforted by a Soprano I. *is very sensitive about his musicians*  

[Sei and Jeff]

Che? Ahaha, Turel's getting huffy cause some spiders don't like his singers. How adorable!  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Lieutenant Turel

Given that I own an Opera House in Coorhangen, are you implying, little man, that you have the better capacity to train and determine who is a better vocalist? Also, assuming that the spiders otolar frequency was one that was discomforted by a Soprano I. *is very sensitive about his musicians*

Speckle: No. I was reporting there had been a rampage there and it was because of a terrible opera singer. I just report the news. I don't judge it. o.o *continues to knit his web socks on the side so he can sell them later*  

[Lieutenant Turel]

@Sei no one asked you, main

@Speckle I'm watching you little man. Very closely.  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Lieutenant Turel

@Sei no one asked you, main

@Speckle I'm watching you little man. Very closely.

Speckel: o3o Oh...um...okay. *makes a note to arm himself with his giant swatter*