Lines You'll Never Hear

[Darkened Angel]

Luke: Darth Vader is my father, and Leia's my sister. This can't be...
Han: Oh shut the Hell up, whiny emo p***y!  

[dragon3025]

Darth Vader:"I am your father"
Luke"whoa, dude, like no way man. Like, your my father?!! I must be, like, part machine or something!"
Darth Vader:"No your not. Join me and together we'll rule the galaxy as father and son"
Luke:"Well I don't know, dude. Like, how much money will I make?"
Darth Vader:"You wont need money we'll rule the galaxy."
Luke:"Ok then what?"
Darth Vader:" Oh never mind. Your no son of mine!"
Luke:"Oh good, cuz I didn't want to be, like, machine or something; you know what I meeeeaaaan!!!"
Darth Vader force pushes luke off the metal bars.  

[Sol Walker]

Mon Mothma: Next order of buisness, we will Eviscerate the Proletariet(SP?)  

[Darkened Angel]

Sound testing audio bits from Liquid Vader. ( Alternate universe where SW meets MGS. )

Vader: Trying to run away. You're not the Jedi I thought you were. Think I can't sense you? There are no safe places. My Force Choke will reach you wherever you go. It's no use. I can throw my saber there too. Come out and fight, you nerf herder! You can't hide forever. Never felt the Dark Side like this before. It's so different from simply willing someone dead. This on-guard time is exhillerating. YES! It's the heart of a duel! Thank you, thank you, for teaching me the joy of the Shien form. Fighting like this, it's a revolution! Luke. Luke? Luke! LUUUKE! Not bad.

[insert Vader twirling his lightsaber here]  

[elvisnake]

Luke: Duuuuude... These are some quality deathsticks...  

[Nospai Deathous]

Han: "We've scored a direct hit, but don't be alarmed. This space vessel can fly with only one engine."  

[elvisnake]

Vader: Luke, I am your father's brother's wife's sister's cousin's best friends' former roommate!
Luke: What does that make us?
Vader: Nothing!
Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  

[Nospai Deathous]

C3PO: 'Sup, dawgs?  

[stellarmagic]

Luke: So can you tell us what they're saying?
C3PO: I believe so sir, they wish to ask us if they want to procure some weed.
Luke: Weed?
C3PO: I'll ask them sir. What does this s**t do dogs?  

[Sol Walker]

Lando: Damn crackerbot takin my job! Hell, I know what the ******** they saying fools!
Han: Easy lando.  

[FrozenPhoenix32]

Cale Darksun

Lando: Damn crackerbot takin my job! Hell, I know what the ******** they saying fools!
Han: Easy lando.

(cont.)

Lando: No foo! Why the ******** I gotta act like some selfrespecting administrator? I'm in charge of the biggest ******** hood in The ******** sky! I gotta crib the size of your apartment BUILDING. I'm gonnna go hit you with your own PIMP!  

[Sol Walker]

*Lando's mad black guy monalouge is drowned out ad GAT steps out no where*
GAT: And now for something completely different.
*A Bantha stands on a hill. First theres silence, then it explodes for no reason*
GAT sad wipes himself off) and now for something completely different.  

[Nospai Deathous]

A-Wing pilot about to crash into the Executor: BONZAI!

or

AHHHH MOTHERLAND!!!  

[Sol Walker]

*Cale sitting on an old fighter ejection seat in full space pirate get-up with a bottle of spiced Corellian ale in hand*
Cale: hello spacers. Welcome to Ask a Space Pirate. Today's question comes to us from some barve who goes by the handle of "Wampa 1".
He writes:
Why the hell do you hate Coruscant so much? Its the capital of the Galaxy!

Well "Wampa 1" its suprisingly simple. Coruscant has earned my ire in many many ways.
One: the jump zone of the world is four days flight for all but military vessels. Thats a helluva trip inward through traffic, checkpoints, and spacetrash.
Not fun.
Two: Its the burecrat's homeworld. For the average pirate there are too many damn laws. Theres laws against carrying weapons, public drinking, public nudity, smuggling, gambling, bootlegging, assault, armed robbery, barnstorming, and a whole host that will make your brain explode if I even try to tell you them all.
Three: Coruscanti are rude, impolite beings. If you aint from there, then you aint worth spit to 'em.
Four: Parking fees. Enough said.
And finally the best reason why you wont catch me anywhere near coruscant: Its always being invaded. Sepratists, New Republic, Empire, New Republic again, Vong, and thats just under a century. The place gets invaded more times than Jabba had chins.
Thanks for your question "Wampa 1". I look forward to looting you soon.  

[Nospai Deathous]

Sy Snoodles: Star Wars! Star Wars cantina!! The weirdest place that you've ever seen-ah!"...