Vampire Vending

[Scrab Demon]

*quickly flips through it* Ooh, I remember this one~! Pops refused to make it after that one solstice because it required too many cows. The stingy bum. Well, I know exactly what I'm making tonight! C:

You receive some elaborate looking garments, remnants from the old order of Vampire Worshipers. They're made of very fine materials, with ornate patterns. Very elegant and aesthetically pleasing, though it probably wouldn't do to wear them in certain company.

*inserts coin*  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Fred: >o> *garbles*

XD He says that he's now hungry. He likes beef.

Fred: D:



Ooh! Dressies! Sexy!

--

You receive 200 cows for your recipe! 8D YAY!


*inserts coin*  

[Scrab Demon]

WHY CAN'T I

HOLD ALL OF THESE COWS

You receive an invitation to a concert being held in Meridian, most likely by that one band who's song JUST NEVER STOPS PLAYING ON THE DAMN RADIO. IT JUST KEEPS ON GOING. FOREVER.

*inserts coin*  

[Lieutenant Turel]

You receive a coupon for a photography studio in Vasserbunde. You and your sib-squidlings can get your photos professionally taken. Say Cheese

*inserts coin*  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

You receive a notice to appear in the Sarafan court on distrubuting illegal contraband to the Rebel Vampire resistance, as you are served this summons, a wild Fred Jumps out of nowhere and and distracts theguard issuing your ccourt appearance, he gives chase. You've just gotten yoursle fa 'get out of jail' free card for this random occurance.

Fred: D< *garble garble garble garble*

D: I'm sorry Fred! I know you want the taillights on the back of that truck. >: They do look like tatsy red lollipops.

Fred: >: *whines*

*inserts coin*  

[Lieutenant Turel]

Do I have to give you legal jargon again? By being a rebel resistance it is by default illegal and as for contraband I think you are confusing your US laws with Nosgoth's. Distracting the guard does not dismiss the nature of the subpoena; once the court of law has issued it and it has been received/acknowledged by me I still have to adhere to it. Failure to show up would be a federal crime in your world, I believe. Again, this is Nosgoth and your legal system does exist here. Because you mentioned nothing about contraband being distributed to your world, no international laws come into place.


You receive a set of texts and encyclopedias on Nosgothic laws. Please read at your leisure.

*inserts coin*  

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

D: I tried.

Fred: owo *chews on the subpeona* *warble*

-__- hm books. Here fred.

Fred: *sniff sniff*

---

You receive a small block puzzle board game.

*inserts coin*  

[Lieutenant Turel]

*becomes insanely fascinated with the puzzle and is now distracted*

*out of the vending machine pops a cattle prod.*

*a coin from Turel's coin satchel inserts itself into the vending machine*  

[Chryssta]

A hole opens up under you and you drop into the prison from BO2. Have fun with those spiders.

*inserts coin*

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

You Receive a sealed envelope invitation inviting you to a local Sarafan celebration over a recent Victory, Gather all your vampire friends and pals! There's gonna be an ambush tonight! Whoot!

*inserts coin*  

[Chryssta]

*gets the weapons ready to kill the sarafan*

You receive a covered platter, in which you find the still beating heart of a sarafan glyph knight. If you can figure out how it's still beating, then you've done something no one else can do.

*inserts coin*

 

[Nosgothic Wraith]

You receive one of the flame throwers the vampire hunters in the Human Citadel use.

It's busted, however, and can only produce a small flame.

Oh well, at least you can use it to light your candles?

*inserts coin*  

[Lieutenant Turel]

You receive a cardboard tube. Fear the tube.

*inserts coin*  

[Chryssta]

You receive a fireball. It's not candy. If you eat it, your head will light up. Literally.

*inserts token*

 

[Lieutenant Turel]

You receive a crying Hylden baby all swaddled up. It is in a basket that says 'in need of a good home'

Are you a good home?

*inserts coin*