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Hallo. I’m still here. Must be find. Either that or I’m a zombie, which is just a disease like in the show Izombie, people saying they are dead are ******** retards. 10 beats a minute on their hearts as well as every single other organ functioning normally is not dead. ******** retarded humans. We are not dead, seriously. In that show it’s just a disease. But when zombies die at the border, the humans won’t give a s**t and say “who cares they were already dead anyway, like bombing roadkill.” Whoever says that I will shoot them. I’m hating humans more and more, they deserve to die.

I sound kinda weird like I’m an illegal or something. My language. I sound weird. It get annoying at work cuz I don’t understand why some people say to me “no thank you ma’am, I mean sir. Or yes mam oh I mean sir, where I guess they look at me and see I have short hair so I’m a guy but do I sound like a woman or something? I donnno. More people being retarded. I thought I was retard, guess not. People also see me as the guy with no emotion or sense of humor. I don’t joke ever. I always serious.

My body fat is really high, 32% at 185 pounds. Meaning I’m considered obese, but I don’t look it, just look a little bit overweight, but how do I have 32% body fat? I’m worried it’s cuz my fat is being stored inwards probably surrounding my internal organs like my heart and lungs, I have high cholesterol, high triglycerides, my lower blood pressure number is too high around 110 meaning my heart isn’t resting enough in between beats, which means it’s overworking itself and not resting, probably why I feel my heart pounding like all the time, don’t even have to feel my chest. Sometimes it beats soo intensively and a bit fast it feels like my heart is like popping out of my chest, have to put my hands over my heart cuz I feel better that way, and also so it doesn’t jump out of my chest.

Hope I don’t die from cardiac arrest cuz my heart refuses to rest

Urghh I saw this guy at work a week or so ago who looked like he was in his 40s, and had a bulging beer belly, like he didn’t look overweight much at all except his round ish belly, like he looks slightly overweight. I just saw his belly and I got soo jealous. I literally wanna go into his body to see what it feels like and get his belly bloated to as much as possible, would probably feel soo weird and full. Well way more then how I feel now.

I have like the worst bulging ball belly ever. I look skinny from the front but when I turn to the side you can see my ball belly bulge. I have more of a pregnant belly, where my dad is like just fat everywhere but more in his belly area where you can tell he is overweight. Me I just look pregnant. 🤰
Has to be ascites/fluid build up cuz if I bloat myself too much and sit on my bed and then bend over forward, it gets slightly harder to breathe. I then look down and see my ball belly while breathing hard.

Still not getting rid of it. Must grow it further. -breathes hard- oh god. I get so exhausted soo easily I breathe soo fast. 190 pounds with 44 inch belly. -eats McDonald’s-

And also I get heart palpitations like really bad, feeling like my heart is jumping out of my chest. My resting heart rate is like 100 to 110 bpm. Even at rest it still beats too fast, why? eek Somethings wrong with me or my heart, like something is tricking my heart into thinking it still has to work but in reality I’m not working at all.

It’s really weird, it’s like my heart has went berserk and refused to rest or slow down. Like it’s always beating too fast, I rest for a while and it’s still beating fast. It’s never gonna slow down, not even me at rest. My poor heart is working itself to death, for no reason. It’s pumping too fast, like I can feel the blood flow with each beat. Please help, tell my heart it needs to slow down. If it keeps beating too fast all the time without rest, I’m worried my heart will eventually get tired out and try to rest but can’t and tries to beat fast again but can’t, then my heart gets very irregular, too sore to contract then my heart couldn’t take it anymore and passes out and stops. Then in real life I get a strange tingling and pressure feeling on my chest area, where I feel weird and somewhat euphoric for 3 to 5 seconds, going “uhhhhhhhhhhhh” then I fall to the floor, my eyes wide open, staying open, no more movement.

Actually cancel that, please stress me out and make me miserable. Scare me totally, I want a heart attack to see what it feels like. I just love it in movies where a person is surrounded by people and the people are stressing her out, then she puts hand over her heart, gets lightheaded and falls on floor. Poor girl.

I hope I don’t get diagnosed with high blood pressure cuz of the lower number. I do my blood pressure at home and it is like normal like 136/86. 143/85. But when I go to dr office and they check it my bottom number goes over 100, I know it will go over 100 again. I don’t know why I feel fine. Heard bottom number is pressure when heart is not beating, at rest. If it’s higher then 100 that means it’s putting a strain on my blood vessels and that even at rest, my pressure is the same when the heart beats. Meaning my heart isn’t resting, I woke up this morning and my heart was pounding, why? O.O God my belly is soo big. I didn’t gain any weight at all for the 5 days I was on vacation, but my belly is 45 inches, hips only 41. I’m an apple. I get chest pains sometimes.

I heard that if you are on a statin for high cholesterol, then suddenly stopped taking it for many months maybe even never again, high chance of heart attack within 4 years. I stopped taking my Lipitor and after reading this, I’m never taking one ever again. O.O call me crazy. Think I just killed myself, just don’t know when it’ll happen, it could happen any moment. eek The heart attack.

Even if I go to hospital due to heart attack and get stents in my hearts, etc, still not gonna change my Diet ever. My diet is terrible, I literally eat nothing but fast food everyday. My heart has been feeling weird lately. I feel a weird beat in my heart sometimes, where when it does it it feels very uncomfortable and scary, doesn’t hurt but it worries me, cuz it means my heart isn’t pumping right, and if it does it for longer, somethings wrong with the heart. Probably surrounded by fat, my heart, so course it’s gonna beat weirdly. Probably have a yellow heart.

i was getting chest pains badly yesterday. So my heart attack is gonna come soon. eek I don’t know what to do. I have an inflation fetish so by choice I wanna keep my beer belly, and never lose it. But the chest pains, oww. So uncomfortable yet I continue to gain weight. I’m weird. Almost felt like a heart attack, gonna happen probably soon. I hope I survive it. sweatdrop My feet are like super swollen often so I may have heart failure soon to. mrgreen What am I to do?