Funniest attempts at insults

[LazyDruid]

essenceofzedak

Me: *listening to Metallica, Nightwish and Linkin Park*

Dad: Are you listening to that satanist crap again? *exhasperated*

Me: ..... satanist...? lol

I love Nightwish, thankfully, so does my mom and her boyfriend(he introduced me to the band)  

[LazyDruid]

Okay, I thought of one insult I've gotten that annoyed me, but was rather humorous.
I was walking though the hall during a class, because I had to get something from my locker. I passed a group of guys once and
guy1: Christmas isn't for another month. (referring to my pants which were melodically jingling because of my chains)
guy2: Seriously.
guy3: Gothic freak.
Me: *shakes head and continues walking*
On my way back through, they decided I didn't hear them the first time and insisted on repeating everything.
guy1: Christmas isn't for another month.
guy2: Seriously.
guy3: Gothic freak.
Me: *once again shakes head* Because you know, that REAL mature and all...
Guy4: What I couldn't hear you over the sound of you chains.
Me: (louder now, also because I was further away) I said you were immature. *mumbles* ******** morons...  

[SamuraiArren]

GilAskan

Her: Y'alls can't talk right!
Me: You mean "You all cannot speak correctly"?
Her: Shuddup, raciss' faggit

...

Wait, what happened?

Well, it's about that simple. Some girl came up to me at a book store, and said "Y'alls can't talk right!". I wasn't speaking. I didn't know her, at all. I had never met her. And again, I wasn't speaking in the first place.

WTF?

heh heh, that happens to me all the time. xd  

[nodens the river god]

weel my cousin got called devil chid when she was in kindy cuz her mother was wearing a pentical and i when to a catholic school (it turned me off beleving in god) and the teacher told me a was satins cousin and the imp of death cuz i said that god was not really a god cuz he dosen't even have a name  

[infektionxx]

What are some good comebacks for people asking dumb questions like "Are you goth?" and stuff like that??  

[WitchyBoy]

one good one i use is " what gave it away?" and just keep walking.  

[DreamerSpirit]

gothindenial

What are some good comebacks for people asking dumb questions like "Are you goth?" and stuff like that??

I usually just tell people "Call me what you will..."

It dosn't bother me if people call me goth, artsy freak, nerd, emo, or whatever... just so long as I'm not being called anything bad, like whore, slut, or any derogatory terms (ie. dyke).  

[prophet of the lost]

Quote:

gothindenial
Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:15 am

What are some good comebacks for people asking dumb questions like "Are you goth?" and stuff like that??

one i like to use is, ' damn it, i didnt think anyone would realise/notice'. xp
another is, 'you got/caught me (that's a point to you. care for another game?)' mrgreen xp lol  

[prophet of the lost]

if there are an instrument players out there(drums, guitar etc.) this is a good insult to use on idiots who think they are 'it' and so 'in' with their burberry;
kid/chav/townie etc: do you play guitar/drums etc?
you/friend: yeah, i knew it would be a f*nny magnet, but i didn't expect to attract c*nts like you rofl xp xd

p.s: my friend made it up, not me sweatdrop crying so credit goes to him stare mad surprised  

[LazyDruid]

I found that people in my old school(I've been home schooled since the beginning of the month) somewhat took to me slightly. One day I was walking down the hall and from behind me I heard::
Prep/jock guy 1:"Hey it's that one goth girl"
(I was the only only goth girl in the school who wasn't a short poser)
Prep/jock guy 2: "Yeah but she's not wearing the pants with the chains and handcuffs"
(Instead I was wearing black pants that had glow in the dark clips and stuff biggrin
Prep/jock guy 3 "Naw dude she wore those yesterday"
(They were keeping tabs on me? Too bad it was 2 days before, lol)

Then this one day I was sitting in my math class and this prep/jock guy (who told me he liked my studded collar last year) was like::
"Woah, nice pants."
(Was wearing the pants with chains and handcuffs)
Me: "Thanks"
Him: "Can I play with the handcuffs?"
Me: "They don't open, they are welded closed. The hole isn't big enough to get someones hand through either."
Him: "Oh. I'm thinking about getting studs down my chest and on my stomach, any suggestions?"
(I was all like WTF? by now)
Me: "Sterilize everything? Oh, and don't let your friends do it." *evil smile*
Him: *sounding joyous* "Ok!"

I don't know what is up with people at that school. Some of the kids even though I was stupid, like this other prep/jock kid who thought it was hilarious to make a little dog with his hand and say "Where my dogs at" then put his fist up and say "Pound it." After a degrading look from me he'd turn to a friend and say "She doesn't get it." One time I told him to grow up and he got all pissy and then disturbed me when I was about to start my speech for my English class.  

[Her Cyanide--]

Lots of people have posted in this but i'll post anyways seems how I read every single one of these posts cause sadly, I don't have anything better to do tonight, but they were very amusing.


Lets see...I remember chilling infront of the school with my group of friends when these two boys came up to us and were like

Boy 1:Are you guys emo?
Us:Errr No.
Boy 2 (to boy 1):See? I told you they werent! There just punk!
Us:Erm O_o;


Not so much making fun of us..just idiotic curiosity. xD I have lots of stories about people trying to mock me but you know...same old crap I hate to b***h and whine about. I choose to dress like this after all so I can take it, i'm a big girl. surprised



 

[Faren_of_FaelThas]

i'm half Korean so while growing up people liked to call me "Jackie Chan", "Bruce Lee", "Jet Li", or "chinese". after a little while i just started saying "Please, if you want to hurt my feelings come up with something different.", or i started doing mock martial arts poses while saying "waaaaa-ha!" a lot.

my favorite one is when someone asked if i was related to Bruce Lee. i just give them this shocked look and say "Hey! How did you know my uncle Bruce? I never met him, died before I was born and everything. Someone said he was into movies or something..." and i just trail off from there.

then of course there are those innuendos about about asian guys not having a huge p***s. i just shoot back at them "Hey, there was a specific reason why my cousin was called 'Hung-Lo'."

i've always thought i'd be hilarious if they did something original and stuck one of those little gold stickers that say "made in China" on my back.

and then some people would call me "Asian (insert some vulgar word here)" and then they would throw their heads back and laugh. after a little while i learned to say "Hey white (same vulgar word thrown back at them)" and then i'd throw my head back and laugh.

as for those people who just like to yell "GOTH!" at you, just reply along these lines:
"Yes? Do you need anything?"

i mean seriously, insults are for kids, most of the time i don't really pay that much attention to them. lately i've gotten comments like "Hello Neo." or "Welcome to the Matrix" type stuff because of the new coat i got. right now i just kinda mock scoff at them and say "You're just jealous that I've got a spiffy/swanky/awesome coat." and then i grin.  

[Spooky Wasabi Princess]

[ Brain Damage ]

I don't really dress "Goth." More like, I wear things from Hollister and such. So, it's really funny when a "mallcore goth kid" will continuously make retarded comments to me.

Quote:

"You look like a slut!"

"Really? How so? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that my body is covered up, whore."

"Your clothes are so tight! What, do you like showing off your body?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Suddenly fitted = dressing whorish?
At least my clothes aren't dragging on the floor getting dirty." (I don't really care, but it just seemed appropriate for the moment. X3)

"Don't judge me, you just don't understand this subculture."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Okay then; judge me all you want, hypocrite."

"It's hard not to when all you people are the same!"

"How am I the same as everyone else?"

"You wear those expensive slut clothes! And you listen to that Rap and Hip Hop s**t!"

"That's not all I listen to."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot about your precious Green Day."

"No, more like you forgot Kid Dynamite, Siouxsie & The Banshees, The HorrorPops, The Creepshow, and maybe a tinge of Smashing Pumpkins (best band ever.)"

"I know about Smashing Pumpkins, they're cool and all, but I bet you just made up those other ones. You know nothing about Goth Subculture."

"...okay?"

"b***h."

"By the way, just to let you know, (pointing at her T-Shirt), Marilyn Manson isn't goth-rock."

*insert her stunned look here.*

I don't understand people sometimes. Lolz. emo

To quote Calculon- "That was so bad I think you gave me cancer!"

What a wanker.  

[GilAskan]

Someone once called me a dyke at a gas-station. Either they didn't realize I was male, or they didn't know what a dyke is.  

[[RikuxHarada]]

~*~ Can I be.... ~*~

The closest thing i've gotten to a 'Insult' was it was the end of gym one day and one of my school resident stoner was talking s**t to me.
Stoner: Why does she wear those? (refurring to my armwarmers) Is she trying to cover up the cuts on her wrists?
Me: Laughing silently to myself
I go and get changed and leave with my friend to her locker and we walk past the stoner.
Stoner: Hey can I borrow your razor so I can cut myself (refurring to my fake razorblade on a necklace)
Me to my friend: Cha only if I can cut you with it

~*~ Your little draculina?~*~