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 Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:25 pm
I've come to the realization that I'm a terrible friend. Okay, I already knew this, but it's been far more apparent in this past month.
The only time I have time to come online and chat, poke around Gaia, update my LiveJournal, or much of anything else... is when my fiance Sabastian is at work or out of town. Otherwise, I spend all my time with him and doing things with him. We've even started fishing again. I play online games with him, argue with people about online games on online game wikis with him, spar/practice Kobudo with him, and watch stuff and go out hiking and just spend time with him (yes, he came back the end of last month, cutting his trip short because he missed me). I'm lucky to have a few minutes to check my e-mail and read a few web comics when he's home... but you know what, I don't mind at all... I enjoy it...
Sabastian and I have so much in common and share so many things, that it's easy to forget that the rest of the world is out there when we are together... and we are together most all the time, or on the phone when we aren't. It might seem like I'm complaining above, but I'm not... I am quite happy just being lost with him in our own little world. Sure, it makes contributing to guilds or maintaining any friendships very difficult, but I really don't care... I don't know if I am supposed to or not, but I don't... I don't feel bad about it most of the time either, because I'm so happy just being with him, that it's very hard to make anything else priority. Because of this, I vanish for long periods of time, take forever to reply to e-mails or PMs, and don't treat people very nicely when they try to be my friends.
I don't know if it's wrong to just put my time with him above everything else, and just neglect my online responsibilities and relationships, but it's what I do... and right or wrong, I'm happy as a result of it, because it's just that much more time I get to spend with the one person on the planet that actually has everything in common with me and completely understands me.
I can be an a*****e of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby
and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest man you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
and you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
and you’ve never met anyone as
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest man that you've ever known
I am the dullest man that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous man that you've ever known
and you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
And you're still here...
Alanis Morissette - "Everything"
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:52 pm
FogSage Well, after failing my GPS test, the day only got worse. I broke my glasses by rolling over them when I got up off the bed. One of the lenses had popped out, so I had to drive all the way to the eye exam place, squinting my left eye shut and peering through my right. It gave me a damn headache, and I was afraid what appeared to be all right was in fact not. I thought that I was weaving erratically, even though it seemed to me that I was driving fairly straight. I dunno, I managed to get there without killing anyone, which is a blessing, I suppose. Anyway, managed to get my glasses fixed, and, since I had already missed one class, decided to just say ******** it and go to the urgent care center, seeing as how I have what seems to be the beginning of a sinus infection. After the usual waiting around and paperwork bullshit, the general practitioner gave me some nasal spray and a prescription for some pills. Walmart didn't have them and when I went to the other drug store, they said that nobody in that town or even in the county would have such a drug, that it would have to be flown in from another state. I didn't feel like waiting that long, so I got some Mucinex D instead. Not a fun day, and I somehow think it won't be a fun week either. =_= Everyone with glasses should own a glasses repair kit... sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:01 pm
Well, J. there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with the one you love most, though I have a hard time maintaining friendships with people who do that sweatdrop I tend to get jealous and bitter because I'm losing a friend
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:20 pm
Manda_Tifa FogSage Well, after failing my GPS test, the day only got worse. I broke my glasses by rolling over them when I got up off the bed. One of the lenses had popped out, so I had to drive all the way to the eye exam place, squinting my left eye shut and peering through my right. It gave me a damn headache, and I was afraid what appeared to be all right was in fact not. I thought that I was weaving erratically, even though it seemed to me that I was driving fairly straight. I dunno, I managed to get there without killing anyone, which is a blessing, I suppose. Anyway, managed to get my glasses fixed, and, since I had already missed one class, decided to just say ******** it and go to the urgent care center, seeing as how I have what seems to be the beginning of a sinus infection. After the usual waiting around and paperwork bullshit, the general practitioner gave me some nasal spray and a prescription for some pills. Walmart didn't have them and when I went to the other drug store, they said that nobody in that town or even in the county would have such a drug, that it would have to be flown in from another state. I didn't feel like waiting that long, so I got some Mucinex D instead. Not a fun day, and I somehow think it won't be a fun week either. =_= Everyone with glasses should own a glasses repair kit... sweatdrop My glasses don't really have frames, and the lenses aren't held in place by screws, but rather by what appears to be rigid fishing line. The lenses have grooves around the edges so that the grooves are filled in with the fishing line, thus keeping them in place. Fixing a popped lens requires something that looks like a cross between a bottle opener and a ribbon, which I wouldn't know how to use even if I had it. ^^;
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:14 pm
FogSage Manda_Tifa FogSage Well, after failing my GPS test, the day only got worse. I broke my glasses by rolling over them when I got up off the bed. One of the lenses had popped out, so I had to drive all the way to the eye exam place, squinting my left eye shut and peering through my right. It gave me a damn headache, and I was afraid what appeared to be all right was in fact not. I thought that I was weaving erratically, even though it seemed to me that I was driving fairly straight. I dunno, I managed to get there without killing anyone, which is a blessing, I suppose. Anyway, managed to get my glasses fixed, and, since I had already missed one class, decided to just say ******** it and go to the urgent care center, seeing as how I have what seems to be the beginning of a sinus infection. After the usual waiting around and paperwork bullshit, the general practitioner gave me some nasal spray and a prescription for some pills. Walmart didn't have them and when I went to the other drug store, they said that nobody in that town or even in the county would have such a drug, that it would have to be flown in from another state. I didn't feel like waiting that long, so I got some Mucinex D instead. Not a fun day, and I somehow think it won't be a fun week either. =_= Everyone with glasses should own a glasses repair kit... sweatdrop My glasses don't really have frames, and the lenses aren't held in place by screws, but rather by what appears to be rigid fishing line. The lenses have grooves around the edges so that the grooves are filled in with the fishing line, thus keeping them in place. Fixing a popped lens requires something that looks like a cross between a bottle opener and a ribbon, which I wouldn't know how to use even if I had it. ^^; Ah...that sucks. confused
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:42 pm
Af Mas Well, J. there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with the one you love most, though I have a hard time maintaining friendships with people who do that sweatdrop I tend to get jealous and bitter because I'm losing a friend Maybe you could look at it like you're gaining another friend ^^'''
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:28 pm
hex_xombie Af Mas Well, J. there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with the one you love most, though I have a hard time maintaining friendships with people who do that sweatdrop I tend to get jealous and bitter because I'm losing a friend Maybe you could look at it like you're gaining another friend ^^''' I would sweatdrop The problem is that, if they're spending all their time AWAY from me, then it's kind of hard to have a new friend sad
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:42 pm
I think it's been at least a week since I've posted here, so I'll put down some updates.
On the relationship front: To try to avoid any bad timing like what happened with the last person(the one in my sig if you remember), I went out on a limb and tried asking a good friend of mine(Shadows_sweet_embrace here on gaia) about being together after a visit in the future. Good thing on my part cause she said yes. We've sorta had crushes on each other for quite awhile we like alot of the same stuff/get along great/all that stuff so naturally I'm hoping for the best once we do arrange something.
My work week this week is gonna be rough. Starting this morning, I'm doing the next four mornings. Normally I like to stay up late, so getting up at 5 isn't my cup of tea. I can take it in smaller doses, but by the fourth day, I'm gonna be really tired. I got worse today though. We found out we were missing alot of paperwork, so 3 of us were trying to get caught up along with taking care of customers...then changing prices on top of that. xp I am getting kinda scared though. I'm finally meeting the guy that runs all the stations in person and apparently there's more that I have to know about the place that I don't. I realize it's probably not the best job in the world, but I don't especially want to be fired from it.
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:07 am
Leyla Giselle I've got the same problem from my ADHD. I get in trouble constantly with my b/f's mom cause I forget to do chores or how to do it "the right way". I'm always distracted and I can't focus on anything other than art or video games for more than 10 minutes.
Do you also "hyper-focus"? I do that a lot, like when I'm reading something interesting, or drawing. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:20 am
Sunegami Leyla Giselle I've got the same problem from my ADHD. I get in trouble constantly with my b/f's mom cause I forget to do chores or how to do it "the right way". I'm always distracted and I can't focus on anything other than art or video games for more than 10 minutes. If you mean losing track of time while doing something like reading or drawing, then yes. Very badly. I also don't want to put the book down once I start. I try and finish books in one sitting. And I'm talking fairly large books, 400-700 pages.
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:34 pm
I have yet another friend who tells me she wants to kill herself. This one because of a guy she broke up with. *headdesk* That makes 3 friends and counting that want to commit sucide everytime s**t happens.. argh..I don't know what to do anymore 'cause when I give advice it falls to deaf ears..
I want to cry right now..
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:28 pm
Leyla Giselle Sunegami Leyla Giselle I've got the same problem from my ADHD. I get in trouble constantly with my b/f's mom cause I forget to do chores or how to do it "the right way". I'm always distracted and I can't focus on anything other than art or video games for more than 10 minutes. If you mean losing track of time while doing something like reading or drawing, then yes. Very badly. I also don't want to put the book down once I start. I try and finish books in one sitting. And I'm talking fairly large books, 400-700 pages. That's perfectly normal. Because your using the right side of your brain when doing art and picturing things in your head when reading, you are using the side of your brain that doesn't do things such as keep time. It isn't the ordered part of your brain. That's why it isn't odd for artists and other such creative people to get completely loose track of time and get lost to the world when in the middle of a project.
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:32 pm
Leyla Giselle Sunegami Leyla Giselle I've got the same problem from my ADHD. I get in trouble constantly with my b/f's mom cause I forget to do chores or how to do it "the right way". I'm always distracted and I can't focus on anything other than art or video games for more than 10 minutes. If you mean losing track of time while doing something like reading or drawing, then yes. Very badly. I also don't want to put the book down once I start. I try and finish books in one sitting. And I'm talking fairly large books, 400-700 pages.
Yep, that's exactly what I mean. My boyfriend has to physically lift my chin so I'm looking at him before I realize he's called me three or four times already. I love me some reading. whee
400 pages in one sitting? Sounds like me. whee
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:53 pm
Krissim Klaw That's perfectly normal. Because your using the right side of your brain when doing art and picturing things in your head when reading, you are using the side of your brain that doesn't do things such as keep time. It isn't the ordered part of your brain. That's why it isn't odd for artists and other such creative people to get completely loose track of time and get lost to the world when in the middle of a project. I do it all of the time. I'll be so into whatever I'm drawing or reading that I lose track of time and then later to find out it's insanely late..lol..
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 4:37 pm
I have a hard time seriously focusing on anything, even if I really like doing something, unless my ears are plugged with music or something. Even reading I read like 5 pages and go "What else is going on?" or something x.x Blargh
Side note: I put an ad up on Pounced today. Maybe I'm desperate and stupid, but why not, right?
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