Corrupt a Wish 2

[The_Hbot]

Granted, but it's only $2.78

I wish I had a working Xbox 360.  

[Vincent Starr]

granted but it only has 1 byte of memory and u cant go buy a memory card because u dont have any money and u cant get any.

i wish that Final Fantasy X-2 was never made.  

[The_Hbot]

Granted. Instead, we get FF VII-2. Reno and Rude do NOT shave their bikini zones, and thanks to the excellent Squenix cutscenes, we see every protruding hair...

Buh...

I wish I hadn't called forth THAT mental image!  

[Chaotix Bluix]

Granted. It never happened... but now every obsessed FF7 fan is strangely out to see you as a corpse... in a bikini.

I wish I could travel through games.  

[The_Hbot]

Granted, but the game universes are unstable. One minute, you're strolling through Hyrule Field, but the next, you're suddenly in the middle of an intersection... In Burnout Revenge!! Being hit by a car going 200 mph sends you flying into a Sega-era Sonic the Hedgehog spike pit. Luckily, you has a 1up. Be more careful, for f**k's sake!

I wish for some Reese's Pieces.  

[Drake_XIV]

This is easy...

You get your candy, but you you somehow develop a disease that kills instantaneously when you consume peanuts.

I wish there were no diseases that would be life threatening.  

[The_Hbot]

Granted. Earth gets overpopulated. We all crush eachother to death or drown in the ocean.

I wish that I didn't have to deal with retarded convenience store owners/employees all day.  

[Crazily_Cool_Kyle]

Granted, you don't have to deal with them anymore b/c they bored you to death.

I wish I didn't have crappy eyesight  

[The_Hbot]

Granted. You sell your soul to get perfect vision. In exchange, everyone who looks you in the eyes, dies.

I wish that I was a rice ball with a plum on my back. JK

I wish that I wasn't sick right now xp  

[Chaotix Bluix]

Granted, but now everyone who you talk with is pummeled with riceballs with plums on the back for as long as you would have been sick anyways. Look at it this way... everyone knows who to blame for food fights now. 3nodding

I wish I had more willpower.  

[Drake_XIV]

Granted, but you lose your legs and arms in exchange for it.

I wish that zOMG would stop lagging!  

[The_Hbot]

Granted, It runs so smoothly that it can handle 4,573 enemies on screen at once. The programers utilize this and u die constantly!

I wish for chocolate milk.  

[pathetic_negi_magician]

Granted. But the milk was best by June 06th, 2006.

I wish I knew how to hack my home computer.  

[The_Hbot]

Granted. You learn how to hack a computer. With a hack saw. Nothing about scripting or encryption, though.

I wish for more pay and less hours.  

[Drake_XIV]

Granted, but your pay turns out to be all in counterfeit money, losing you all of your savings.

I wish that I could control all unicellular organisms.