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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:48 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:09 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:13 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:26 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:28 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:45 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:48 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:29 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:32 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:59 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:01 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:07 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:11 pm
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[*tries ot lasso people into the rp* lol] [big long post for ya :p]
Andrew sighed and after he finsihed up and made sure R.j wasn't wtaching, pulled out a small journal he had secreted in a pocket. Since he'd been turned he'd carried one with him, trying to retain his humanity through writing in it.
October 15th 2009
Finally the monotony and depression has broken, and I've found humanity again, although the nature of this humanity is debatable. When all the world collapses around us and the insects of humanity are are levelled, we are forced to compromise and recognise the cockroaches with the butterflies. At least the cockroache's greed and curisoity mean that I have a chance, whereas the butterflies would certainly just flee. As they should do. I saw myself in the mirror today. Still, I worry what I'm bringing to the new world if these people are in charge. While so many people have imagined the destruction of most of man as a utopia - uniting people in some sort of socialist happiness when corrupt governments have fallen - I see now that really little is different. The strong survive and thrive to create a new world, the weak and good are crushed beneath the boots, as usual. We are doomed to repeat and repeat history. It's human nature. Perhaps I shoudn't fight it. The important thing is that I kill the zombies. My mind is God's gift to me. i won't squandor it.
But i'm no leader. That reminds me of the TS Eliot poem, my mother did love it so much - I think maybe she was a bit pessimistic. Maybe she just saw the world as it is...was.
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be; Am an attendant lord, one that will do To swell a progress, start a scene or two, Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool, Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous; Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; At times, indeed, almost ridiculous— Almost, at times, the Fool.
I think i'm just 'glad to be of use' here. I'm Lazerous, back from teh dead, but I can't rule the world myself. I don't deserve to. So let the cockroaches have it.
The two I will be working with are R.J -Raven, some strange and disjointed woman that quite frankly frightens me. I keep thinking i can sctratch away at her surface and find something, but i think she's like one of thsoe statues - all stone through and through with only a carved apperance of emotion. Prince...he's the leader..he is terrifying. A cheshire cat. He's young but powerful. With RJ you now what to expect, but with him..i think you could shake his hand, share a dirnk, have a laugh one moment and the next moment he'll turn and eviscerate yoy while still keeping that smile. Very odd. Very scary. But these people have the resources. it's always been about teh resources for us insects, hasn't it?
Goddamnit i wish I was tired. I wish I could sleep. I can't dream anymore even if I try to sleep. There's nothing, just emptiness. I miss the steady throb of my heartbeat. Hell, it's be great to take a piss or a crap or soemthing. Anything to make me feel alive.
God I'm a whiny sonofabitch. heh. I wonder if they'll let me outside so I can watch the sunrise?
And would it have been worth it, after all, After the cups, the marmalade, the tea, Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me, Would it have been worth while, To have bitten off the matter with a smile, To have squeezed the universe into a ball To roll it toward some overwhelming question, To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead, Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— If one, settling a pillow by her head, Should say: “That is not what I meant at all. That is not it, at all.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:01 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:07 am
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