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My beer belly is considered a ticking time bomb. Meaning I could get a heart attack any moment. Just don’t know when. It’ll probably happen at the weirdest moment. Wonder if my cholesterol is high again. I’ve just got done eating long john silvers and started drinking alcohol and all I can feel is my heart beating soo much. O.O I can check my pulse any time without feeling anything, it just beats and I feel every beat in my chest. Oh well. “😱 drinks alcohol.

Now I’m convinced I have a ball belly. My brothers and stuff were teasing me sayng I look really pregnant. Think it bulges out slightly more than my dads. I’m worried it’s fluid, cuz I feel bloated all the time. Other people I haven’t seen in a while also think I look pregnant.

Told me I am soo out of shape and pointed out my belly. I get out of breathe soo much, I walk for just a little bit and I’m like gasping for air. If I sit down on my bed and bend over it gets hard to breathe and I gasp for air. I look down and see a round unnecessary ball belly in my middle.

Cmon fat built up inside my ball belly, i want you to store around all my organs keep storing until there’s no room left both inside and outside, then after that if I gain any more belly fat, only way to store it is to squeeze against my organs. I want clogged arteries as well. -eats fast food everyday-.

46 inch belly, 41 inch hips at 191 pounds. Both my brothers can still see their feet when they stand up and look down, even one of them who is almost same build as me but still sees his top part of his feet quite well. I can’t. One day in 2014 I could still see the tiny top part of my feet, then didn’t notice my belly was growing then one day i decided to stand up and look down and I see no feet, have to lean over a bit to see my feet now. But as of like today, I’m really having trouble seeing my feet when I stand. When I try to see if my ankle wrinkles or try to examine my feet I start getting out of breathe breathing really fast. Same if I sit on my bed and bend over, it gets hard to breathe like I cant inhale enough air. surprised Oh well imma keep growing, I’ll just get an inhaler. Lolz.

I feel like I’m gonna be like a cheesy middle age man with a huge ball belly working a sedentary job. Then going home eating fast food with biggest belly ever deep in my couch relaxed. Then I try to get up out of my couch and I can’t. No one else is there to help me. Still can’t get up. Then I roll to floor and got up.

Lolz I’m soo weird and soo overweight, Just a couple pounds away from being in the obese category. eek Gonna miss being skinny but oh well. Being really overweight feels really weird especially if most of it is in my belly. Don’t know why we get fat, like cancer fat also grows.

I give up, my belly is a huge solid ball. Soo heavy. I’m soo fat. Lots of people with huge bald spot at back and side do head. Have a vendor and he’s only 40 but he looks like he only has like 20 percent of his hair, rest is bald where his top of his head has no hair. He only has hair on his sides like a circle. He’s gonna be bald completely by 50. Which isn’t bad, I had a worker in his early 40s and he like had no hair on head at all. And he was like soo good at what he does. But still male pattern baldness is weird. If I do go completely bald it’s gonna suck cuz I may get Sunburn.

sweatdrop This isn’t good. Feel kinda dizzy and getting this uncomfortable pressure on my upper left part of chest, feels weird but kinda hurts. Can feel my heart beating and pounding soo loud. Starting to sweat to and have slight trouble breathing. Don’t really care. All I care about in life is getting my belly big enough to the point where I can put stuff on top of my belly. I’m soo weird. Wonder when my heart attack will happen, cuz if it happens I don’t want stents ever or surgery. Want to see what would happen if I don’t get stents or heart surgery, cuz to me seeing a clogged artery with plaque completely blocking the artery looks correct to me. I mean arteries have a circle ⭕️ like this like it’s missing something in middle, need to fill with fat then it’ll look right. If I get a heart attack I hope all my heart arteries are clogged completely.

I weigh like 210 pounds now. eek
Being autistic is weird. I like focus on a particular thing, like looking at my hands, my belly, seeing what wrinkles I have. Gazing at certain things while I look around my surroundings, feel clumsy often. I’m soo weird. I’m seeing the world through my weird autistic/Asperger eyes. They say people with autism see the world differently than normal people. So I guess I see the world differently, but my vision like how I see things seems normal to me. Had it for 30 years, the only way I see the world. Wonder if you guys went inside me you’d think I see weirdly. And I’m not clumsy and walking weirdly almost or sometimes running into things because I see weirdly (I don’t see distortions), I’m just weird. Losing my balance doesn’t affect vision, my brain is just kinda well weird. I dunno, wish I could go into a normal persons body and see if they experience things differently. It’s the same for people who are like slow and can’t think very well, doesn’t affect vision. I feel super slow sometimes like a zombie, still don’t see weirdly.

I’m such a freak. My whole reality is weird. I feel like the people in Stranger Things where they get possessed by the alien mind flayer, then they turn into mindless robots with same look and literally no emotions. I feel like that often. Like if they made like an anime or something about me and us in stuff, all of you guys would have normal looking anime eyes where me my eyes would be all solid color no white dot glare or pupil, just solid color like I’ve been brainwashed or possessed. Urghh all of this is making my head hurt.