Funniest attempts at insults

[EternalDark666]

Now..I'm a guy with fairly long hair, to my shoulders, not past, and I have a moustache and small beard. This "gangsta" girl walks up to me and sized me up sayin' "y'all found Jesus yet or somethin'?" so I took the rubber band off of my ponytail and stared at her. My response "Everytime I look in the mirror, darlin'"...it was so funny when she walked away like "whatever" and a nun laughed at her along with the store manager...  

[EternalDark666]

gothindenial

What are some good comebacks for people asking dumb questions like "Are you goth?" and stuff like that??

just stare at them..."no, I'm an undercover Miss America contestant!"  

[WitchyBoy]

EternalDark666

Now..I'm a guy with fairly long hair, to my shoulders, not past, and I have a moustache and small beard. This "gangsta" girl walks up to me and sized me up sayin' "y'all found Jesus yet or somethin'?" so I took the rubber band off of my ponytail and stared at her. My response "Everytime I look in the mirror, darlin'"...it was so funny when she walked away like "whatever" and a nun laughed at her along with the store manager...

nicely done dude nicely done.  

[Devils_lilboy]

Krys_Night

i guess one of mine would be people screaming goth out of a car window driving by... and then running a red light at the corner from where I'm standing so that I won't follow them.
randomly honking their car horn and giving me the finger, which i cheerfully return.

I have had that happen to me quite a few times, and I just sit there ignore them; laugh quitely to myself, and watch them drive by.  

[SamuraiArren]

About a year ago I bought a 'Fullmetal Alchemist' necklace with a Transmutation circle on it. One girl at my school asked me if it was a portal to hell (I think she was joking), and I replied, "Of course it is, would you like me to do a demonstration?" Poor girl, she looked rather frightened. sweatdrop  

[SamuraiArren]

I've actually been chased by random bible people. whee At my old school, people would come to hand out little orange bible a couple of times a year. One of the days they happened to come, we had Hat Day, and I was wearing a witch's hat and all black. Most of the bible people acted like they hadn't seen me, but one guy chased me down the sidewalk when I refused to take a bible. It was kinda scary at the time.  

[GothicAlice]

I suppose my funniest would have to be walking around town. "It's not halloween yet!" All I do is smile and say, "I know."  

[OverlordMMM]

....I've been insulted in many ways......unforunately my comebacks rarely work (mainly because people don't laugh at what makes much sense)......

Example:

Person: You're an a*****e!
Me: And your a whole a**!

unfortunately it backfired.....but was later used by someone else (needless to say he was a popular a*****e).....and it worked for him...DAMNIT!....


....then I got one to actually work...YES!....

At the time there was a conversation happening in the class (no teachers there) and I tried to say something......this girl interrupted.....

Very Fat girl: Why don't you just go in that corner over there and jack yourself off?!

Me: Turn around, bend over, and then I'll do it.


I didn't expect it to actually work but the entire class was cracking up....except for her...she was blushing.....heh....and then I started to laugh...  

[6shattered6chandelier6]

EternalDark666

Now..I'm a guy with fairly long hair, to my shoulders, not past, and I have a moustache and small beard. This "gangsta" girl walks up to me and sized me up sayin' "y'all found Jesus yet or somethin'?" so I took the rubber band off of my ponytail and stared at her. My response "Everytime I look in the mirror, darlin'"...it was so funny when she walked away like "whatever" and a nun laughed at her along with the store manager...

Seriously, a nun? That's hilarious.

Samurai Arren: They did that to me too. I was wodnering what to do with bible and these kids rode by and yelled, "She's finally found God!" I'd have chucked that bible at them, but my aim is poor and I was riding a bike.

 

[Faren_of_FaelThas]

SamuraiArren

About a year ago I bought a 'Fullmetal Alchemist' necklace with a Transmutation circle on it. One girl at my school asked me if it was a portal to hell (I think she was joking), and I replied, "Of course it is, would you like me to do a demonstration?" Poor girl, she looked rather frightened. sweatdrop

rofl

that is so funny... and yet so wrong! xd  

[AS574]

This isn't very funny or anything but, I went to a special school with a lot of criminals. On Halloween I showed up with blue hair and a bipolar costume. There looks were really weird. After that I desided I would try to get away with waring goth makeup everyday but, my mom said it was to "garish". Even though a prep teacher said I looked really good in dark makeup, even though she dosn't like dark makeup. I was pooy. Now I create crazy looks with eyeshadow paste and never let anyone but my camera see it.  

[SamuraiArren]

Faren_of_FaelThas

SamuraiArren

About a year ago I bought a 'Fullmetal Alchemist' necklace with a Transmutation circle on it. One girl at my school asked me if it was a portal to hell (I think she was joking), and I replied, "Of course it is, would you like me to do a demonstration?" Poor girl, she looked rather frightened. sweatdrop

rofl

that is so funny... and yet so wrong! xd

I felt kinda bad about saying that to her, since I don't think it's a good idea to make people even more wary of Goths (see the thread 'God Hates Goths' *shudders* scary stuff, there)  

[NikiPaprika]

poncho steve

some random person rode by me on a bike
then looked back and yelled "conjurer" at me
then crashed into the telephone pole
because he was busy looking back at me

rofl rofl rofl

Mai gawd, that's hilarious!

I thought that was something they only did in movies and cartoons.

Sweet! <3

xD

 

[NikiPaprika]

This is sort of to do with the fact that I'm a goth, but mainly because I'm just a freak. xD

My best friend told me about this, because she is in a lower level for English (she even got better grades than me in out previous exams! eek The only reason she's quite low down in a class is because she has problems with spelling. But apart from that, her english is very accurate. Anyways, these chavs are sitting behind her, and ask her "By the way, do you go out with Rebecca Rolland?" being a very old and overused rumour for about two years now, she simply sighed and said "No, why?"

Chav:"Well, she's a lesbian, ain't she? And a goff?"
My best friend:"Well, yeah, I suppose..."
Chav:"She's such a freak, eh? I mean, what a retard! She's such a freak and I bet she's really stupid! I mean she IS STUPID!"
My best friend:"She's so stupid, that she's actually in the top set for english. And your in this class. Maybe if you were as stupid as her, you'd be able to get a life."

After this, everyone ignored her. I heart my best friend so much! She is so strong about her beliefs and opnions, and knows who and what to stand up for! n___n

 

[Draydrigo]

I'm accosted by religious zealots every school day.An amusing incident happened on the bus...
Girl(about 12 years old):Are you like a Satanist er summin'?(yes,"er",not a spelling mistake!)
Me:No I'm agnostic.
Girl:Huh?Speak English!
Me:I believe in science, not a god or afterlife.
Girl, surronding eavesdroppers:WHAT?! You whaaat?! You're crazy! You're going to hell!!! etc.
I then sat through questions about what I believe in like-
Girl biggrin o you believe in hell? Cuz that's where you're goin'!
Me:I am in hell as long as you're here.
Boy biggrin o you believe in ghosts? You look like one.
Me sad big fake smile)Wow, I look like a glowing entity that can pass through walls? Cool! I guess that means I can follow you around and blackmail you until you cry!
Boy biggrin o you believe in shoes?(I wore sandels all the time)
Me biggrin o you believe in respect and freedom of expression?
Girl biggrin o you believe in, like,electrictiy?
Me: (...?) stare Yeah...I just read a book about its uses in chemistry if you want to, like, borrow it.
Girl sad realizing electrity is a force of nature under constant scientific study)Oh. Right.
I love being an iconoclast. I have so many funny stories that make me seem smarter than I am.