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You might be a redneck if...
  You think the 'Battle of the Buldge' is the argument between your wife and your mother-in-law.
  You go to a party...and the punch bowl flushes.
  You have more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
  You select this option because you want gold or to answer a poll.
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haloshatterer
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:30 pm
stalker of the night
One day, in a small town in the middle of no-where, a redneck wearing nothing but jeans and suspenders was pumping gas into his pinto at the local gas station. To his surprise, a rich man in a Ferrari pulled up next to him to pump gas into his $600,000 car. As the rich man was pumping gas he looked over at the bewildered redneck. Noticing the admiration on his face the rich man asked, in a cocky tone, "what, you wanna race farm boy?" Not one to back down to a challenge the redneck replied in a defiant tone "I sure do city boy!"

Shortly after that, the two men had there cars lined up on a super long stretch of straight road. The two men were standing in between the two cars discussing how to insure a fair start.

They finally concluded that the rich man would hold up 3 fingers and do a count down. When the last finger dropped they would go for it. So the rich man opened his door and stepped into his car, then the redneck walked around to the door of his car and climbed in.

The rich man started the count down and when the last finger fell they took off.

The rich man decided to toy with the redneck and only shift up to second gear, but by the time he got to full speed in second gear the pinto was just a dot in his rear view mirror. "What a waste of time." the rich man thought.

suddenly, RRRRROOOOOOMMMMMM!!! The pinto went roaring by.

"Whoa!" the rich man said. So then he shifted up into 3rd then 4th gear to still give the redneck a sporting chance. Once again the pinto became a dot in his rear view mirror.

RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!! To the rich man's surprise the pinto went flying by again!

"FINE!" The rich man shouted. So then he went all out, shifting up into 6th gear and putting the pedal to the floor. By now the Ferrari was doing about 210 Mph. The Ferrari blew by the pinto and once again the pinto became a tiny speck in his rear view.

RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!! The pinto blew by him again, practically blowing the Ferrari's doors off.

Having been beaten by the pinto the rich man pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. In a rage he got out and slammed his door as the redneck backed up next to his car.

"WHAT KIND OF MOTOR DO YOU HAVE IN THAT PINTO!" Shouted the rich man.

The redneck climbed out of his Pinto shaking like a nervous Chihuahua and replied, "I have no idea, BUT I GOT MY SUSPENDERS CAUGHT IN YOUR DOOR!!"
ahahahahaha rofl rofl rofl rofl  
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 6:55 pm
you might be a redneck if you think french onion dip is an exotic tabacco product  

Tarot_Nightmare


Iyasai

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 1:10 pm
all your shirts use to have sleaves  
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:21 pm
From a person related to a few rednecks.

You might be a redneck if:

...you're related to yourself.

...you refer to anyone as your double cousin.

...you have ever eaten fried baloney and liked it.

...your favorite game as a child was shooting a milk jug full of water with a BB gun.

...you know the difference between an Allis Chalmers and a John Deere...especially if you have a preference.

...people get hurt at family reunions and at Christmas because grandma was being particularly vicious at spoons.

...you know what spoons is.

...you're from WV.

I'll think of some more...  

Aachren


Tarot_Nightmare

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:19 pm
if u are your own grandpa  
PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:02 am
you might be a red neck if:

you make towers and figurines out of beer cans
your lawn decorations are up on the blocks  

haloshatterer v2
Captain

Unforgiving Tactician

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