I didn't come up with these myself, but found them other places and thought they were cute:You think the number of Wiccan books you own is far more important than the number you have read, regardless of the fact that most of your books are for beginners.
You've won an argument by referencing "Drawing Down the Moon," knowing darned good and well they haven't read it either.
You've ever had to go along with someone's ludicrous story because it was twice as likely to be true than most of the nonsense you spout.
You complain about how much the Native Americans copied from Eclectic Wiccan Rites.
Someone has had to point out to you that you do not enter a circle "in perfect love and perfect lust." (Score double if you argued the point.)
You claim yourself as a witch because how early you were trained by the wise and powerful such-and-such of whom nobody has heard.
You claim to be a famtrad (hereditary), but you're not. (Score double if you had to tell people you were adopted to pull this off.)
You claim to be a descendant of one of the original Salem Witches.
You think it's perfectly reasonable to insist that, since every tradition is different, and no one tradition is right, there's no reason not to do things your way.
You talk to your invisible guardians in public. (Score double if you have met the Vampire Lestat or Dracula, triple if you got into a fight and escaped.)
You've ever confused the Prime Directive with the Wiccan Rede.
You've suddenly realized in the middle of a ritual that you weren't playing D&D.
You've failed to realize at any point in the ritual that you weren't playing D&D.
You've suddenly realized that you are playing D&D.
You hang out with people who each match these traits.
You recognize many of these traits in yourself, but this isn't about you. But, boy, it's right about those other folks.
You ask your bank for a VISA Gold Card with Stonehenge depicted on its face.
Ritual was canceled because the CD player is in the shop.
You have not read The Spiral Dance and are waiting for it to be made into a movie.
Your ritual tools are itemized on your homeowners insurance.
These are mine:You are convinced the $52.99 degree you mailed in for is all you need to prove you know more about magick than someone who was raised on it.
Your allowance/paycheck is blown on candles, incense, and herbs you don't know what to do with.
You buy your ritual tools at yard sales so they look ancient.
You are wearing so many pieces of pentacle jewelry you can barely move.
You use "Lady Pixie Moondrip's Guide to Craft Names" to find ideas for your own. (If you haven't seen it, you should.)
You go to the local book store to buy a book on turning your Ex into a toad when they dump you, and believe it will work.
You wonder at what part of the degree system you will learn to fly a broom.
Your BoS contains every spell you've seen on Charmed.
You've been a "witch/wiccan" less than a year, and are already looking for your first book deal.
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