Car Description Decoder Ring - $1 (Everywhere)
What the ad says, and what it really means:
Must See = Come out here so I can throw a sales pitch, because the car sucks.
Mechanics Special = Runs like crap.
Bodyman Special = Looks like crap.
Custom = I completely ruined this car, so now I don't want it. You do.
Must Sell = I want top dollar for this crap-wagon because I'm a loser and need money.
Project = I tried to Frankenstein this car and lost interest, after seeing what I did to it one drunken night.
Like New = I loaded it with Christmas Tree air fresheners, so it smells like a cat box with perfume in it.
Or Best Offer = I want you to think I'm negotiable, but really, I'm not.
Needs TLC = I beat the crap out of this car. If you give it a hug, it will be "Like New" (see above).
Needs A Few Things = I started parting out this car, but it wasn't going well, so I decided to sell it whole.
Nice = Has all the chrome stick-on trim you can imagine.
Runs Rough = Missing a piston but you'd never know it.
Loaded = It has neon windshield wipers, some stick - on decals, and chrome spinner hubcaps.
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