Lines You'll Never Hear

[Des Voh]

Jabba The Hutt:Hi, I'm Jabba. I'd like to tell you that I lost 3.2 metric tons thanks to the Subway Diet. Remember, always eat fresh.  

[Darkened Angel]

* Luke comes up to Jabba holding a Wendy's bag *

Luke: Eat great, even late!
Jabba: Eat fresh.
Luke: Eat great.
Jabba: Fresh.
Luke: Great.
Jabba: FRESH!
Luke: GREAT!
Jabba: ... Ah screw it. GIMMIE! * devours a crispy chicken sandwhich, 3 kids meals, and 10 frosties *
Luke: Yes... Yes... Rejoin the Fat Side.
Jabba: I try to control myself but it just... tastes... so... good... Ooooh, some fries left. * continues feeding frenzy *  

[Ral Roke]

I know we're supposed to be somewhat original with this stuff, but I just had to post this. And so I don't screw it up.........
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4n9T2hNgeuA  

[Darkened Angel]

( When worlds/movies/shows/games/whatever collide )

Vader: Join the Dark Side. It is your destiny.
Luke: No, I'll never join you. To do so is to invoke the wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAN!
Vader: That was random, just like the Spanish Inquisition.
Royal Guards: * come outta nowhere * NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
Death Star Computer: Varnink! Emergenzee ekzeet emmeediettely. Destrukzion emeneet.

* Death Star takes the face of Zeeky Bomb *

Death Star: Ah... Zeeky Boogy Doog! * explodes *  

[Missing00]

Luke: *sing the leek spin song and spins lightsaber*
Vader: Oooh, it's hypnotizing...  

[Nelowulf]

Vader: You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round. *dances*  

[Darkened Angel]

* Luke gets caught in a blast of Force Whirlwind *

Luke: I'm ridin' spinnaz, I'm ridin' spinnaz.  

[xxxPop_Tartxxx]

*weeze* Luke, You were adopted... *weeze*

-Darth Vader [Duh!]-  

[Darkened Angel]

The Jedi have fought the Sith and seem to be winning for the peace of the universe. But there is one more battle to be fought...

* Luke and gang come up onto a stage, instruments at the ready *

... The battle... of the bands!

* Luke cues the band, and they jam *



You've been fighting for much too long,
You saw the temptation and what to come.
Restless spirit of no remorse,
Embraced the Dark Side of the Force.

You are not totally lost now,
We'll redeem you yet somehow.
In your thoughts and in your hate,
We saw it all, but there is more.

We come from the Jedi Knights,
Lightsaber on, the blade ignites.
We are here to save you see.

Fighting on Endor's field,
Successfully, we took down the shield.
Fighting from near and far,
To bring the destruction of the Death Star.

Moving quickly by using Force Speed,
We're from the Order and do what we need.
We are the Jedi, we are the Knights,
Lightsabers turned dancing lights.

We are going against the Imps,
The Sith have now fallen, nothing but wimps.
Leave the Dark or take it all,
Choose the latter and you will soon fall.

Welcome our new Jedi Knight,
We are glad you embraced the Light.
We will surely win this fight.

Fighting on Endor's field,
Successfully, we took down the shield.
Fighting from near and far,
To bring the destruction of the Death Star.

Knights and Masters fight or fall.
With the Force now on our side,
We're standing one for all.

Fighting on Endor's field,
Successfully, we took down the shield.
Fighting from near and far,
To bring the destruction of the Death Star.

Fighting on Endor's field,
Successfully, we took down the shield.
Fighting from near and far,
To bring the destruction of the Death Star.  

[Ral Roke]

Vader: Allah Ackba! Jihad! Durka Durka!  

[ElladanKenet]

Chewie: I say, you know what? Screw these growling noises. I'm going to go become a scholar and live a decadant live in Corulag where I'll study as a bio-chemist.

Threepio- *Unintelligble Roar*

Chewie- Oh, I agree, good chap. You'd make an excellant gladiator.

Artoo- Yo my niggas, what is up in da G-shack?!  

[Darkened Angel]

( at a grocery store )

Clerk: That brings your total to 200 credits.
Vader: I have a Sith Lord Club membership card.
Clerk: Okay... saving 25% for every purchase... that brings it to 150 credits.
Vader: I also have this coupon for a " buy one get one free " on Lightsaber batteries.
Clerk: ... 145 credits.
Vader: Did I also mention I'm the big bad Sith Lord?
Clerk: Free of charge. Just don't hurt me.
Vader: Thank you.

* Vader grabs his things and starts to head out, turns around, and Force Chokes the clerk anyways *

Vader: Muahaha.  

[Darkened Angel]

Luke: Sith Lord? What? You think you're all bad and tough now?
Vader: You would challenge the power of the Dark Side?

* Vader walks off, comes back in a black leather jacket and with a sparkly white glove, then starts doing the moonwalk and grabbing his crotch *

Vader: I'm bad! I'm bad! You know it!
Luke: I wish I hadn't seen that...  

[ElladanKenet]

Vader- Santa Baby..... I've been a good girl.... now hurry down the chimney to me.... or I'll lightsaber your a**.

~

Clonetrooper- Are you my mommy?

Lama Su- No, I am not your mommy. You have none. You were grown in a cold, dark tube for ten years, and you're one of seventeen trillion siblings.

Clonetrooper- But I want a pony! gonk crying

Obi-Wan- Yeah... the best soldiers in the whole universe are a bunch of flippin pansies.  

[Darkened Angel]

Vader: Luke, I am your father. Join the Dark Side. It is your destiny.
Luke: No.
Vader: ... crying
Luke: Gee, cry much? Friggin' emo.
Vader: crying My own son hates me! crying * runs off *
Luke: So... I'm the hero now? Wow, I thought this whole epic showdown thing would be, you know, less pathetic. Lucas, you suck at plot twists. There's totally unexpected, and then there's just plain lame.