Dualism

[Kali Eyad]

I'm trying to get feedback on pieces I have written. My plan right now is actually to post in a couple different writing Guilds and see which place seems to get the best results. I am going to make an effort to keep the pieces in each thread different until I definitely decide which one I am going to be keeping.

Criticism is welcome, even encouraged, so long as it is constructive. I would really like to get some opinions and feedback.

The first pieces that I'm going to post are actually older works, but they're pieces I either still enjoy or ones that I have done a bit of revamping on.

I named the thread after what tends to be a theme in my poems, duality. A lot of what I write has to do with fighting different sides of yourself, or having mixed feelings about something. Sometimes it's just about obsession, or it's short and meant to just express a momentary feeling.

I'm going to leave it at that for this first post, then begin by posting a piece in the second. I'll proably keep up posting by adding something every day or so in order to try and get a feel for the forum and rate of responses.  

[Kali Eyad]

I'm actually going to start this off with a poem that's meant to be part of a trilogy. I love it because it always makes me think of the freedom and comfort of swimming, but you can't exactly remain in the water forever.

Night in the Sea

Stripping from my clothes
I leave them on
The night beach's
Silvered shore.

I dive into
Darkened water
Where floats the
Sky moon's twin.

I glory in the
Rush of cool water
Sense of freedom
And strength of form.

Swimming the coast
With tail and fins
Until the morn's
First golden light.

I shed my scales
And streamlined fins
For clothing and love
I had left behind.